8 Izinkinga Ezivamile “Zomshado We-Narcissistic” Kanye Nendlela Yokuzisingathwa ngayo

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Izimpi ezimbalwa eziphenduka usuku noma ezimbili zokugenca amatshe zivamile kuyo yonke imishado. Kodwa-ke, uma uqala ukuqaphela umbono omkhulu welungelo kanye nokuntula uzwela kumlingani wakho, kukhomba inkinga enkulu. Izinkinga zemishado yamaNarcissistic azivamile, okuyinto eyenza kube nzima ukuzibona.

Ingabe umlingani wakho uyeke ngokuzumayo ukukhathalela into eyodwa oyidingayo noma oyifisayo? Namuhla, ingabe bazizwa besongelwa njalo lapho unconywa kodwa akunjalo? Ingabe ubudlelwano bakho manje buzizwa sengathi bukhona kuphela ukubhekelela izidingo zabo? Ukushada ne-narcissist akulula, futhi ezimweni eziningi, ungase ubone izimpawu ezinjalo.

Kodwa wazi kanjani ukuthi lokhu yikho kanye obhekene nakho? Ngosizo lwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo Anita Eliza (I-MSc ku-Applied Psychology), ogxile ezindabeni ezifana nokukhathazeka, ukudangala, ubudlelwano, nokuzethemba, ake sibheke konke odinga ukukwazi mayelana nezinkinga zomshado ezingenangqondo.

Kuyini I-Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Okuqukethwe

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene ekuguquguqukeni komshado we-narcissistic kanye nomonakalo owenzayo, asiqinisekise ukuthi sisekhasini elifanayo ngalesi sifo esikhuluma ngaso namuhla.

Ngokuvumelana ne Mayoclinic, lokhu kuphazamiseka kobuntu kutholakala lapho umuntu enemibono eyeqisayo yokuzigqaja kwakhe, edinga njalo ukudunyiswa nokunakwa, futhi ehlangabezana nokungakwazi ukuzwa uzwela, eshiya umkhondo wobudlelwane obungenampilo nobunganelisi.

Abantu abanalesi sifo bavame ukukholelwa ukuthi bafanelwe ukwelashwa okungcono kunabanye abantu ngoba bangcono futhi babaluleke kakhulu kunabanye. Ngokuvamile abazazisi kakhulu izidingo nezimfuno zabanye, futhi umuzwa wabo ophakeme wokuba nelungelo ngokuvamile ubonakala ngokusobala. ukungabi naluzwela ebudlelwaneni babo nabathandekayo.

Ngokuvumelana ne Ezempilo, izimpawu zalolu daba lwezempilo yengqondo zihlanganisa:

Edinga ukutuswa njalo nokudunyiswa
Ukucabanga ukuthi abantu bazokuphatha ngokunakekela okukhethekile, ukucasuka lapho bengenakho
Ukuziphatha okuzikhukhumezayo
Ukungathandi ukuhlobana nendlela abantu abazizwa ngayo
Ukujaha amandla, ubuhle kanye nesikhundla esihlonishwayo ngenxa yokudunyiswa okuzokuletha
Ukuba nomuzwa owedlulele wokuzethemba
Ukweyisa abantu ukuze bazizwe bengelutho
Ukusebenzisa abantu ngabanye ukuze baphishekele izidingo zabo siqu
Ukuthathwa kwezinqumo okuyingozi/okungacabangeli ebudlelwaneni noma ezindimeni zesibopho
Ihaba ngezimpumelelo noma amathalente

Empeleni, yindaba yempilo yengqondo eyenza isiguli sizizwe sisikhulu ngathi, okuvamise ukuholela ekutheni abantu abasizungezile bazizwe kabi kakhulu. Abantu ababazungezile, empeleni, bangabathola benyanyeka, benganaki noma bengacabangeli.

Ngakho-ke, akumangazi ukuthi kube nenkinga yobuntu be-narcissistic kufakazelwe ukuthi kunomthelela omubi ubudlelwano umuntu onjalo anabo empilweni yakhe. I-Narcissistic personality disorder kanye nezinkinga zomshado ziyahambisana. Ngokushesha uqonda ukuthi yiziphi izimpawu, kuyoba ngcono ebuhlotsheni bakho nomlingani wakho.

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8 Izinkinga Ezivamile Zomshado We-Narcissistic

Uma une umfazi oyisicefe noma umyeni, izinkinga zomshado ngeke zibe kude kakhulu endleleni. Okubi nakakhulu, umuntu one-NPD ngokuvamile udinga ukuveza isithombe esihle sobudlelwane bakhe nomhlaba wangaphandle ukuze sivumelane nombono wabo wokuthi impilo yakhe kufanele ibonakale iphelele kangakanani kuwo wonke umuntu obukayo.

Ngakho-ke, kuphoqelekile ukuthi umuntu ongabhubhisi ohililekile emshadweni akhombe owabo njengomshado ongenangqondo futhi abone ukuthi angenzani ngawo. Ukukusiza ukuthi wenze lokho kanye, ake sibheke izinkinga ezivame kakhulu zomshado we-narcissistic.

1. Izinkinga ezinkulu zomona ziyingxenye yobudlelwano bakho

“Umhawu uwumuzwa ojwayelekile,” kusho u-Eliza, wengeza ngokuthi, “Umbuzo uwukuthi sibhekana kanjani naleyo mizwelo, uma umuntu onama-narcissism ekhathazekile, izinto zingase zingalawuleki, zibonakala ngezindlela ezahlukene, ngakho-ke kufanele siqonde ukuthi, umnyombo wawo, umuntu ohlukumezayo akazethembi kakhulu futhi yilapho umona usuka khona.

“Uma bebhekana nabo bangase baphike, noma baphendule amatafula kumuntu othandana naye bamsole ngokuziphatha kwabo, abenze bazizwe sengathi banephutha kwasekuqaleni.

“Umshado ongenangqondo uzoveza ukuthi umlingani othanda ukubhuquza uzoba nomona omkhulu ngezimpumelelo zomlingani wakhe noma izimfanelo zakhe ezinhle njengozwela noma injabulo.

Inkulumo emnene ye umona ebudlelwaneni ingaba nempilo, kodwa nge-narcissistic personality disorder, izinkinga zomshado ngokuvamile aziveli ngesilinganiso esinempilo. Ngenxa yalokho, bangase babe nomona ngakho konke mayelana nomlingani wabo, kusukela ekunakekeni abakutholayo ekukhushulweni komsebenzi noma ngisho nasekufinyeleleni umgomo wabo siqu.

2. Bangase bazame ukuhlanganisa umlingani wabo

Ngenxa yomona ongapheli abawuzwayo, umjolo ugcina esefuna ukuphendula amatafula enze umaqondana wakhe abe nomona. Bangase benze ihaba ngezimpumelelo zabo namakhono futhi bangase bazame ukwehlisa abalingani babo ngomzamo wokwenza kubonakale sengathi bangumuntu ophakeme.

Ukuncoma kwabo kuvame ukuphendulwa, futhi injabulo yabo ngokuvamile iwumzamo wokufihla ukucasuka kwabo. Lo mzamo omncane wokuzama ukusungula isikhundla sabo “njengophakeme” ebudlelwaneni ngokuvamile uphumela ezimpini lapho beziphatha ngokudelela nokungacabangeli. Sibheja ukuthi ubungacabangi ukuthi izinkinga zomshado we-narcissistic zingase zibe ezezingane.

ukushada ne-narcissist kuzoholela ezingxabanweni eziningi — Ukulwa njalo kuzoholela ezingxabanweni eziningi

3. Umzali onolaka angase athinte kabi ukufaneleka kwengane

U-Eliza uthi: “Obaba abangama-Narcissic banomthelela omkhulu ezimpilweni zezingane zabo.

“Abazali abangamaNarcissism banezici zobuntu eziwumgogodla ezihlanganisa ukuzizwa befanelekile, ukungabi naluzwela nokuxhaphaza. Lezi zindlela zokuziphatha zingavezwa ezinganeni zabo. Uma lokho kwenzeka, kulolonge imicabango yezingane mayelana nokuthi zingobani, okuvame ukuba nomthelela ongemuhle wokuzethemba njengoba kungenzeka ukuthi beziphathwa ngendlela engafanele kusukela zisencane,” uyanezela.

Ubudlelwano esinabo nabanakekeli bethu abayinhloko kanye Amandla omndeni esibhekana nakho sisakhula sishiya ithonya elihlala njalo ohlotsheni lwabantu esikhula sibe yilo. Uma ukhule ululazwa futhi uhlukunyezwa, maningi amathuba okuthi umuntu onjalo angabi ngumuntu ozethembayo.

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4. Ukushada ne-narcissist kuzoholela ezinkingeni ezinkulu zokuzethemba

“Lapho omunye wozakwethu engumuntu othanda inzondo, kunokuningi ukulahla, igunya kanye nentukuthelo engalawuleki, enciphisa ukubaluleka noma izimpumelelo zomunye umuntu.Futhi uma omunye umuntu engazi ukuthi umlingani wakhe ubonisa ukuziphatha okungathandeki, bangase bathambekele ekuzisoleni ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Lokhu kungagcina kuholele ekutheni bangazethembi futhi badideke ngeqiniso labo. Uma bengazi ukuthi empeleni lokhu kuyinkinga yomshado, bangase bazame ukwenza lokho abafuna ukukwenza,” kusho u-Eliza.

Uma uhlezi wenziwa ukuthi uzizwe sengathi awanele, nakanjani kuzobangcono kuwena maduze noma kamuva. Ungase uqale ukungabaza wena, futhi esikhundleni sokugxila enkingeni yangempela, (umlingani wakho), ungase uthuthukise izinkinga zokungazethembi kanye nokuzethemba.

5. Inkinga evamile yomshado we-narcissistic: Ukukhanyisa

“Ukukhanyisa igesi, kusho ukuthi imizwa yakho kanye neqiniso lakho liyaphikwa ngumuntu onochuku.” Ezinye zezinkulumo ezivamile abazisebenzisayo zithi, ‘Yeka ukuzwela, ususa indaba,’ noma, ‘Unehaba, akwenzekanga kanjalo,’ ‘Usabela ngokweqile, udinga usizo.’

“Nakuba ungase ungazethembi ngalobo buhlobo, bangase bazame ukukwenza ukholelwe ukuthi yilobo obungcono kakhulu ongabuthola ngokuthi, 'Akekho ozokuthanda ngendlela engikuthanda ngayo.' Ngokukhanyisela umlingani wakhe ngale ndlela, umuntu uzizwa edidekile futhi egcwele ukungabaza,” kusho u-Eliza.

Ukukhanyisa uphethiloli ebudlelwaneni ngokuvamile kuholela kumqondo osontekile weqiniso kanye nezindaba ezinkulu zempilo yengqondo esikhathini esizayo. Umuntu oshaywa uphethiloli angase ahlale ekhathazekile noma ehlushwa ukungazethembi okukhulu.

Ngomfazi noma umyeni onobuqili, izinkinga zomshado azivamile ukuvela empilweni ekha phezulu yobudlelwano bakho. Zingase zivame ukukhuphuka futhi zithinte i-psyche yakho ngezindlela obungazi nokuthi kungenzeka.

6. Abazali be-Narcissistic bangaholela ku-dynamics yomndeni engenampilo

Izinkinga eziba khona lapho osomahlaya ababili beshada zingase zingavele zibonakale emshadweni, kodwa nasebuntwini bezingane ezikhula kulesi simo.

“Enye yezinkinga eziningi zomshado ezidabukisayo yindlela abaphatha ngayo abantwana babo, bangase babe nomntwana oyedwa abambheka “njengengane yegolide” nenye “njengembuzi yomhlatshelo.” Ingane yegolide ibhekwa njengenezimfanelo ezimangalisayo, futhi lezi zingane zijabulela yonke inkululeko ezinikezwa yona.

"I-narcissist ngokuvamile ibheka leyo ngane njengezandiso eziphelele zayo ngakho-ke iveza le nkohliso yokuphelela nokuphakama phezu kwale ngane. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingane yembuzi yiyona ebeka icala ngayo yonke into ephezu kwayo. Iyagxekwa, ilulazekile futhi ngezinye izikhathi ilulazwa. Kwezinye izimo, ingase ibonise umlando wakudala. izimpawu zomzali onobuthi,” kusho u-Eliza.

Ngenxa yalokho, bangase bakhule babe nezinkinga ezithile ezingokwengqondo ezingenza kube nzima kakhulu kubo ukuba sebudlelwaneni bothando esikhathini esizayo. Izifundo babonise ukuthi ukuguquguquka komndeni akugcini nje ngokuthinta ubudlelwano bomuntu nomuntu, kodwa nempilo yakhe engokomzimba nengqondo.

7. Bangase bazame ukulawula ukuziphatha kwakho

Njengoba u-Eliza ebonisa, umsuka walo muntu umona ukungazethembi. Futhi lapho kunokungavikeleki, kuvame ukuba nomthamo omkhulu wokuba nezinto ohambisana nawo.

Ngenxa yalokho, bangase bazame ukulawula ukuziphatha kwakho bezama ukuthola ukulawula okuphelele kobudlelwane babo. Ukuze ukwazi ukugcina isithombe esihle - nakuba singamanga - esijabulisayo sokuguquguquka kwakho kubantu abaseduze nawe, bazozama ukulawula yonke ingxenye yempilo yakho.

8. Izinkinga zomshado weNarcissistic zingaholela ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi

Njengoba usubonile manje, umuntu osebenzelana ne-NPD angase akhanyise umlingani wakhe noma azame ukulawula ukuziphatha kwakhe. Lesi senzo esikhohlisayo singaholela ngokushesha kokuthi uzakwethu ezwe ukulimala kwengqondo ngenxa yalokho.

A ubudlelwane obunobuthi yilelo elidala ukulimala kwengqondo noma ngokomzimba nganoma yisiphi isimo noma isimo. Enye yezinkinga ezivame kakhulu lapho ama-narcissist amabili eshada nomunye ukuthi ubuhlobo bungase buphenduke bube bubi kakhulu, futhi kwezinye izimo, bube nobudlova.

Ukuntula uzwela okwedlulele kungaholela laba bantu ukuba benze izinto ngendlela engafanele futhi engacabangeli, ngokuvamile ngaphandle kokunaka ukuthi kuzoba yingozi kangakanani kumlingani wabo. Ngenxa yalokho, ukuthula kwengqondo komunye kuhlale kunqamukile.

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Indlela Yokubhekana Nezinkinga Zomshado We-Narcissistic

Ukubhekana nezinkinga zomshado ezingenangqondo akuyona into elula kakhulu ukuyixazulula. Njengoba kwenzeka kwezinye izimo eziningi zezingxabano zomshado, ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo phakathi kwabalingani ngokuvamile kuyindlela ekhethwayo yokubuyisana.

Kodwa njengoba kulokhu kukhona ukuphazamiseka kobuntu okuhilelekile, imibhangqwana kanye nokwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kuba yisidingo. Ngosizo lwemithi, ukwelapha ngenkulumo nezinye izinguquko endleleni yokuphila, kungase kube nezinzuzo ezihlukahlukene ongazithola.

Ngosizo lukadokotela wezengqondo, umuntu one-NPD uzokwazi ukuthola umnyombo wokugula kwakhe futhi aqonde kangcono ukuthi kubathinta kanjani abantu abaseduze kwakhe futhi afunde nokwelapha lezi zinkinga. Uma kuwusizo olufunayo, iphaneli ye-Bonobology yabeluleki abanolwazi bayi-a chofoza kude.

Ngethemba, ngosizo lwezinkinga ezivamile zomshado we-narcissistic esizibalile, manje usunombono ongcono wazo zonke izinkinga ezingase zikufikele uma uzithola uhileleke kulokho okuguquguqukayo. Ngosizo lokwelashwa nomzamo ongantengantengi, akwenzeki ukuguqula eyakho ibe inyunyana enezithelo.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Ingabe umshado ungasinda ku-narcissist?

Ngeshwa, impendulo yalo mbuzo akuyona ngempela eyakhayo kakhulu. Ukuze umshado usinde ku-narcissist, kuzodinga isineke esingaphezu kwesamuntu kumlingani ongeyena umuntu we-narcissistic kanye nomzamo omkhulu. Ngokwethiyori, kungenzeka, kodwa ngeke kube lula. Into engcono kakhulu umbhangqwana onjalo ongayenza ukuya kumuntu ngamunye futhi ukwelashwa kwezithandani Ukuze uthole usizo.

2. Ukushada nenkabi kukuthinta kanjani?

Ukushada ne-narcissist kungase kwehlise ukuzethemba kwakho, kungase kukuholele ekuthuthukiseni inguqulo ehlanekezelwe yeqiniso ngenxa yokukhanya kwegesi noma kungase kuholele ekulimaleni kwengqondo okuhlala isikhathi eside.

3. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi ushade ujabule nomuntu ojolayo?

Ephepheni, kungenzeka ukuba ushade ngenjabulo no-narcissist. Kodwa inqubo, neze, izoba elula. Ukuze ube nomshado ojabulisayo, i-narcissist kufanele ikhuthalele ukufuna ukwelashwa ukuze ikwazi ukuphatha abantu abaseduze kwayo kangcono.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.