Izizathu Ezivamile Zokuhlukana

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Nakuba kujabulisa ukuba sothandweni, ukwehlukana kulimaza ngokufanayo. Akumangalisi osukwini lwanamuhla, ukuqomisana okuvamile kuya ngokuya kwamukeleka. Ngemva kokudabuka kwenhliziyo okumbalwa kokuqala, umuntu akakwazi neze ukuzifaka engozini yokuphinda adlule enqubweni yokuphulukisa ebuhlungu. Ekuqaleni, abantu ababili abahlangana ndawonye bonke banezimbali futhi izinga eliphezulu lothando ebudlelwaneni ligqugquzelwa injabulo nokukhangwa. Kodwa-ke, njengoba isikhathi sihamba, ukungezwani okuningi kuyavela futhi ubudlelwano buba muncu. Futhi konke ukungezwani nokungaqondi kunikeza izizathu ezihlukahlukene zokuqeda ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.

10 Izizathu ezivame kakhulu zokuhlukana

Okuqukethwe

Wake wacabanga ukuthi uma uthando luwumuzwa omangalisayo, kungani nina bantu nihlukana? Behlukana ngani phela? Sikhuluma kakhulu ngezingxenye ezinhle zokungena othandweni; sidayisa ngamaholide othando. Kodwa kwenzekani lapho abantu ababili bebhekana nezinkinga ezihlukahlukene eziphazamisayo ngemva kokuthandana iminyaka embalwa? Yini eholela ekutheni bagcine belubeke phansi unyawo bashaye ucingo baqede nophathina wabo? Yilokho kanye esizoxoxa ngakho namuhla - izimbangela eziyishumi ezivamile zokuhluleka kobudlelwane.

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1. Isitayela sokunamathiselwe esingavikelekile

Ezizatho eziningi zokuhlukana nomuntu osamthanda, ukungavikeleki kobudlelwane ishaya phezulu ohlwini. Kungase kusuke ebuntwaneni obungathandeki uma umuntu ekhula engenalo uthando lomkhaya olungaguquki, isikhuthazo, nothando. Uma ukhuliswe ngendlela efanayo, kungenzeka ukuthi usuyazi ukuthi kunjani ukuphila ngaphansi kokwesaba okungapheli kokushiywa wedwa.

Ufuna ukuqinisekiswa njalo nokuqinisekiswa ukuthi uyathandwa, empeleni, kukwenza ubukeke unamathele futhi uswele esithombeni esikhulu. Kungaba ukucisha okukhulu kumlingani wakho uma enqaba ukuba nesineke nawe kanye nobudlelwano. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungathola ubunzima ekusunguleni ukusondelana kwangempela nophathina wakho futhi ubaxoshe ngaphambi kokuthi ubudlelwano buthole ithuba lokuvuthwa.

2. Okulindelwe okungenangqondo

U-Sal uthi, "Kimina, okwakulindelwe phezulu kwakuyizizathu ezanele zokuhlukana nensizwa elungile. Ngahlangana nalo muntu owayebukeka ngendlela exakile ephathini eminyakeni embalwa edlule. Kuke kwaba nesikhathi sesinema lapho amehlo ethu evaleleke emagumbini amelene, wasondela kimi wangithembisa ukungithengela isiphuzo - kanjalo nje, kwaqala ukukhula ukuxhumana okukhethekile. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngangingasazizwa kahle kodwa manje ngangingazi. ukuthi engangikulindele kulo lonke ubuhlobo bami kwakungenakwenzeka nakuba ayemuhle.”

Uma ucabanga iphupho isigaba se-honeymoon uhlala unomphela, unephutha kakhulu. Umlingani wakho akufanele ahlale efunda ingqondo yakho futhi aqonde ngomlingo ukuthi yini oyifunayo. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni akusho ukuthi kuzofana nochungechunge lobusuku bezinsuku ezimnandi, izimanga, nohambo lwangezimpelaviki lothando. Uma wehluleka ukwamukela ubungako bempilo, nokubaluleka kokwenza imizamo eqotho, kuzoba nzima ukubambelela ebudlelwaneni isikhathi eside.

3. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana okungokomzwelo

Ingabe uyazizwa ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo owawunaye nomlingani wakho eminyakeni emihlanu edlule iyancipha kancane kancane? Uma nginephutha, anikwazi ukubhekana ukuze nibone ukuthi omunye udinga uthando nokusekelwa ukuze nidlule esikhathini esicindezelayo. Ugcine nini ukuxoxa ngenhliziyo noma ukubamba iminwe ngenkathi uwela umgwaqo?

Ngokusobala, njengezinkulungwane zeminye imibhangqwana, nawe usuqalile ukumthatha kalula othandekayo wakho. Kodwa uma sikhuluma iqiniso, akukhona ukuphela kwezwe. Ozakwethu basengabhekana nenkinga futhi basebenzele ukwakha ukusondelana ngaphambi kokuphelelwa yisikhathi. Ukushoda kwemizamo okuvele kube esinye sezizathu zokunqamula ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.

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4. Ubuthi obusezingeni eliphezulu

Uma sithintana nomngane noma esisebenza naye futhi sibuza ukuthi bekuyini izimbangela zokungaphumeleli kobudlelwano kubo, ezikhathini eziningi impendulo ithi, "Ubudlelwano bethu bebuba yingozi kakhulu." Manje, ubuthi bufana negama lesambulela, njengoba lesi silo singakwazi ukuphakamisa ikhanda laso elibi ngezindlela eziningi. Uma umlingani wakho ebonisa izici zobuntu zokunganaki angashiyi amatshe azokwesabisa futhi angahloniphi ubuntu bakho namandla akho, ekugcineni nihlukane nobabili ebudlelwaneni.

Noma, unganikeli umlingani wakho indawo yomuntu siqu, noma ukwenqaba ukukwamukela njengoba enjalo - ungahlobana nokuziphatha okucindezelayo okunjalo? Uma kunjalo, ungathola ubudlelwano bakho bufika phansi maduze nje. Eqinisweni, ungathembela kuso njengesinye sezizathu ezivamile zokuhlukana kwentsha, ukudabuka kwenhliziyo, nedivosi ebuhlungu.

5. Izinkinga zokuthembela

Uma ufuna izimbangela zokungaphumeleli kobudlelwano, zungeza lesi ngokubomvu! Ukungakwazi ukwethemba othile kungase kuhlale engqondweni yakho ngenxa yezizathu eziningi. Isibonelo, ukukhula ubheka ubudlelwano babazali bakho njengesibonelo sokungathembeki, noma ukukhashelwa isithandwa esidala - lezi zigameko zishiya umthelela ujule kunalokho ocabanga ngakho.

Futhi ukwenza kube kubi nakakhulu, uma owakwakho noma umlingani wamanje ebonise izici ze-serial cheat, ukwethenjwa kuzondiza ngefasitela. Cishe akunakwenzeka ukwakha isisekelo sobudlelwano obusekelwe ekungakholwani nasekungazethembini. Umphumela? Ukuwohloka okungenakugwemeka kobudlelwano.

6. Ukungathembeki

Uyazi ziningi izizathu ezizwakalayo zokuhlukana nomuntu osamthanda, kodwa ngokungangabazeki lesi yisona esibuhlungu kakhulu nesibuhlungu kakhulu. Nokho, ngeke sikunqabele ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ozakwethu ababili banqume ukunamathelana ukuze baxazulule umsuka wenkinga futhi babuyele emuva njengombhangqwana oqinile.

Sekushiwo lokho, ukungathembeki kuyifulegi elibomvu elingaxoxiswana leningi labantu. Ukukopela ebudlelwaneni kunzima ukugayeka futhi kunzima ukudlula - kulula njengalokho. Ngokudabukisayo, imibhangqwana eminingi ayiphumeleli enhlekeleleni enjalo futhi ubuhlobo buhlangabezana nesiphetho sabo esibuhlungu.

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7. Ukungakhulumisani kahle

Esinye sezizathu zencwadi yokuhlukana nentombi, isoka, noma umlingani yilapho uyeka ukuveza imizwa yakho, okukukhathazayo, kanye nokucasuka ebudlelwaneni. Ngitshele-ke, uma ubhekene nokungaxhumani kahle ebudlelwaneni bakho, yingoba awuxhumani nhlobo nesithandwa sakho, noma ukwenza ngendlela edidayo noma engaqondile? Noma ingabe uyenqaba ngokuphelele ukuzwa inguqulo yomunye umuntu bese umvalela? Noma ubadelela? Ukugxekwa njalo, ukugxeka, noma ukukhuluma izinto ezilimazayo kungase kusho inhlekelele ebuhlotsheni benu, ngethemba ukuthi niyakuqaphela lokho.

Ngenxa yengxabano, uma sithi isimo asikakafiki kuleli qophelo, ukuntuleka kwengxoxo enengqondo, enempilo kusengadala isikhala esikhulu phakathi kwabantu ababili. Ngesikhathi uqaphela ukuthi 'awusakhulumi', kungenzeka ukuthi usuvele ulahlekile. Mhlawumbe usukhulile kunomlingani wakho futhi awusakwazi ukumqonda. Ngandlela thize, uthatha isinyathelo esisodwa sokuhlukana nsuku zonke.

8. Isithiyo sebanga elide

Izizabalazo zobudlelwano bebanga elide zingase zibe i-pickle yangempela ikakhulukazi uma abalingani behlukaniswa ezindaweni ezimbili ezihlukene zesikhathi. Ishejuli yakho yokulala iyaphazamiseka ngokuhambisana namakholi asebusuku. Ukuba nempahla kanye nomhawu ongalungile ungena kancane kancane engqondweni yakho njengoba ungakwazi ukuwunyakazisa umuzwa wabo wokuthola umuntu omusha. Uzizwa unesizungu ngokwedlulele futhi ukude ngokomzwelo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi - ngaphandle kokubona, ngaphandle kwengqondo!

Konke ukungaboni ngaso linye nokulwa okungapheli kuthinta ingqondo yakho futhi ngolunye usuku, uyabona, awusakwazi ukubekezelela lokhu. Empeleni, izinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide yizizathu ezivamile zokuhlukana kwentsha. Njengoba bedlulela ezifundazweni ezihlukene beyofuna izifundo eziphakeme, ubudlelwano obuhle basesikoleni samabanga aphezulu nakanjani buzophelelwa yisikhathi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

9. Izindaba zezezimali

Ukucindezeleka kwezezimali ebudlelwaneni ingama endleleni yesiphetho esijabulisayo kwabashadile abaningi. Kuba yinkinga enkulu uma uthatha isinqumo sokuyohlala nesithandwa sakho. Ngaphandle kwalapho kuhlelwe kusenesikhathi, igebe ekuholeni lenza bobabili ozakwethu bazizwe bengakhululekile njengoba besebenzisa imali eningi noma bengakwazi ukuhlangabezana nezibopho zobudlelwano eziyisisekelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukungathembeki ngokwezimali kuvame ukusula indlela eya ekuhlukaneni, kukunikeza izizathu ezanele zokuqeda ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.

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10. Ukuntula ubuqotho

Uke wacabanga ukuthi yiziphi izizathu zokuhlukana nensizwa enhle noma omunye umuntu ngaleyo ndaba? Cishe kungenxa yokuthi abalingani bavame ukuyeka kalula lapho isineke sishoda noma bavele balahlekelwe isithakazelo. Abafuni ukwenza imizamo yangempela yokulondoloza isibopho esihlala njalo. Bheka, ubudlelwano buthatha isikhathi kanye nokutshalwa kwezimali ukukhula. Kulezi zinsuku, sihlala sijahile futhi asivamile ukunikela isikhathi sethu nesineke ekukhuliseni ubudlelwano. Lapho isigaba se-honeymoon siphela, umuntu uphelelwa ithemba kakhulu futhi avilaphe, noma avele angabi nasithakazelo, futhi aqale ukufuna ithemba elilandelayo.

Manje usunokucaca okungcono kakhulu mayelana nezizathu ezinkulu zokuhlukana nentombi, isoka, noma umlingani. Umzuzwana lapho ubona ubudlelwano bakho bushaya indawo embi ngenxa yanoma yisiphi salezi zizathu, uyazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi ukuze uphinde unamathisele izingcezu ezihlakazekile. Uma nobabili nizizwa ningakwazi ukuxazulula inkinga, kuvuliwe abeluleki abanekhono nabanolwazi Iphaneli yochwepheshe be-Bonobology zihlale zikhona ngenxa yakho.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.