Umshado udinga ukunakekelwa nokunakwa njalo, okungase kwenzeke ubhajwe esithubeni sokucikeka noma ukunganakwa. Lokhu kunganaki kanye nokunganaki bese kuvula indlela yochungechunge lwezilindelo ezingakafinyeleli, izidingo, izimfuno, nezifiso. Bendawonye bakha umuthi obulalayo obhebhezela ukucasuka emshadweni.
Lapha, kudingeka siqonde umehluko phakathi kwentukuthelo nenzondo noma intukuthelo. Lesi sakamuva singahlala isikhashana. Kungase kubangele ukulwa, ukudumazeka, nokucasuka noshade naye kodwa maduzane, konke kuyalibaleka futhi izinto zibuyela kwesijwayelekile. Nokho, intukuthelo ebuhlotsheni ijule kakhulu.
Ukubhekana nokucasuka ebudlelwaneni kudinga isilinganiso esithile sokuqwashisa ngokomzwelo kanye nentando yokufaka imizamo yokuletha ukulingana. Ngosizo lomeluleki kanye nomelaphi womshado Prachi Vaish, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esisemthethweni esinelayisensi ye-Rehabilitation Council of India kanye nelungu elihlangene le-American Psychological Association, ake sibheke ukuthi ukucasuka kwenzani ebuhlotsheni nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho.
Yini Edala Ukucasuka Ebudlelwaneni?
Okuqukethwe
Ngaphambi kokuba sithole ukuthi singayisusa kanjani intukuthelo, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ikhona kwasekuqaleni. “Umkami uyangicasukela, ngingakulungisa kanjani ekubeni ngingazi ukuthi konakelephi phakathi kwethu?” UGregory, osebenza ebhange oneminyaka engu-35 wasitshela. Nakuba isimo esinjengaleso singakwenza uzizwe sengathi amandla akho asevele ahlukumezekile, lokho kungase kungabi njalo.
Izimpawu zokucasuka ebudlelwaneni zingabonakala ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukene, futhi nakuba ezinye zinzima kakhulu futhi zijulile, ezinye zingalungiswa kalula ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ake sibheke izizathu ezimbalwa zokudelela nokucasuka phakathi kwabashadikazi, ukuze uqonde ukuthi yini engase ingahambi kahle esibophweni sakho.
1. Ukuvumela okwedlule kukucindezele
Njengoba kwenzeka kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, wena nomlingani wakho nizokwenza ingxenye yamaphutha. Esinye sezizathu zokucasuka ebudlelwaneni kungaba ukuthi la maphutha abawaxolelwanga futhi amagqubu ayaqhubeka. Lokhu kungaholela ekubeni nomuzwa wenzondo, okungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokucasuka ebudlelwaneni.
2. Ukucasuka komshado kuvela ezidingweni noma ezifisweni zokungahlangabezwana nazo
“Umyeni wami uyangicasukela ngoba akaneliseki ngokobulili,” kuyisihloko esiphindaphindwayo. Uma wabelana ngophahla nomuntu othile, ulindele izidingo zakho futhi ufuna ukuhlangatshezwana nazo, ukuze uthole “injabulo yaphakade” wonke umuntu akhuluma ngayo njalo. Kodwa uma umlingani oyedwa enziwa ukuthi azizwe sengathi izidingo zakhe azinakwa noma azinakwa ngokuphelele, kuzoba khona ubutha obuthile.
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3. Ukungafanelani kuyisizathu esikhulu sokudelela nokucasuka emshadweni
“Umngane wami womshado uyangicasukela ngoba ecabanga ukuthi asizwani kahle,” kusho uJolene. “Uhlala eyonga imali, nami ngiyehluleka ukuzibamba uma kukhona into edayiswayo. ukuhlukumezana ngamazwi ebudlelwaneni, engicabanga ukuthi kuzoba isiphetho sethu.”
Ngokuvumelana ne izifundo, ukungezwani kungesinye sezizathu ezinkulu ezenza imibhangqwana idivose. Uma usendleleni engokomoya, ye-vegan futhi ubizo lwakho empilweni kuwukuqinisekisa ukuthi amalungelo ezilwane ayasetshenziswa, awuzukuzwana kahle nomuntu odla inyama, akunjalo?
4. Ubudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa buholela emizweni engemihle
Njengoba ubuhlobo benu buthuthuka, uhlobo lothando eninalo ngomunye nomunye luyashintsha, umfutho uyancipha, futhi kuba nomuzwa wobubele. Kodwa lapho sekuqala ukuzizwa sengathi ubuhlobo obubodwa, kuyoba khona ukucasuka emshadweni. Akusho ngisho ukuthi umuntu oyedwa uphelelwe uthando, ukungahoshelani ngokuvamile kungaholela emizweni yokucasuka.
5. Ukuthatha umlingani wakho kalula
Lapho izinto ozenzela isithandwa sakho zicishe zizizwe sengathi “zilindelwe” kuwe futhi azikaze zaziswa, nakanjani zikwenza uzizwe sengathi alusekho uthando noma ukwazisa. “Ngimenzela yonke into, imisebenzi yasekhaya, ngimphekele ukudla, ngiqinisekise ukuthi zonke izibopho zakhe uzilandela kahle, konke lokhu ngesikhathi esebenza.” Naphezu kwakho konke lokhu, angikaze ngizwe ngisho nokumbalwa. amazwi okuvuma kuye, futhi sekuqala ukuzwa sengathi umyeni wami uyangicasukela nakuba kuyimi engizidelayo,” kusho uMeghan.
Uma ukufunda izimbangela kwenze ukuthi udwebe ukufana nokuguquguqukayo kwakho, kubalulekile ukuthi ubheke izimpawu zokucasuka ebudlelwaneni ukuze uqiniseke ngalokho obhekene nakho. Ngokushesha lapho usukwazi ukuhlonza inkinga, uzokwazi ukuyilungisa ngokushesha.
Izimpawu Eziyisi-7 Zokucasuka Ebudlelwaneni Bakho
Ukucasuka kusho ukufukamela inzondo ngomngane wakho womshado - ngokuvamile okwakhiwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kwakha kakhulu kangangokuthi ukuba khona kwabo nje kukwenza uthukuthele futhi ungakhululeki. Prachi uthi ngokuyinhloko ukucasuka kwenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezimbili: ukungqubuzana kwezinto ezilindelwe kanye nokuwohloka kokukhulumisana.
Uveza nomehluko oyisisekelo phakathi kwentukuthelo nentukuthelo, okuvame ukudideka njengokufana. “Intukuthelo ingafika idlule kodwa igqubu yilona gqubu elisala ngemuva. Ngaphansi kwayo yonke intukuthelo, kuba nemizwa ejulile,” usho kanje.
Bese kuba nendima yamaphutha okuqonda. “Izinkinga zokuxhumana dlala indima enkulu. Ungase ubone izinto ezithile ezishiwo umlingani wakho ngendlela ethile futhi wakhe isimo eduze kwazo. Omunye usabela ngendlela yokuzivikela noma mhlawumbe aze azondle ngobudlova umzwelo ongemuhle osuvele uwakhe komunye,” uyanezela, echaza ngezimpawu zokucasuka emshadweni.” Ngokusekelwe kulokhu kuqonda, ake sibheke izindlela zokuziphatha ezivamile okufanele siziqaphele:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 11 Izimpawu Eziyisixwayiso Zobudlelwane Obunobuthi
1. Kukhona amagqubu emshadweni uma niphendulana ngamagama abhuqayo
Okwakukade kuwuju noshukela kuphenduka ama barb namasnipe uma ubudlelwano obake bathandana buphenduka inzondo. Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane bangazibandakanya kulolu hlobo lokuziphatha lapho bekhuluma amazwi acaustic komunye nomunye, ngezinye izikhathi phambi kwabanye. Bazama ngakho konke okusemandleni ukuthi babeke omunye phansi, besebenzisa amagama ahlabayo, ngokuvamile bezenza amahlaya. Futhi uma kuyimpi egcwele, zilungiselele ukuzwa okuningi amazwi abuhlungu avela kumlingani wakho.
2. Ukuziphatha ngendlela exakile kuholela ekucasukeni komshado
Lesi sibonakaliso esingakhulumi sokucasuka emshadweni sivame ukuboniswa ngabesifazane. “Abesifazane bangase banqamuke ngokuphelele futhi bayeke ukuhileleka abathandana nabo noma badlulele kwelinye icala bazame ukuchukuluza.” Abesifazane bafuna izincazelo ngaphezu kwabesilisa kodwa bangase bangabaze ukuyibuza, ikakhulukazi uma umlingani wabo eyichitha le nkinga.Yilapho-ke besebenzisa amagama ukuze bacasuke futhi bathole ukusabela,” kusho uPrachi. Ngokungangabazeki, kuholela entukuthelweni eyengeziwe nobuthi.
3. Ukungasho lutho nokugwema kuyinto evamile
Lokhu kubonakala kakhulu phakathi kwamadoda. Nakuba abesifazane bengase baxabane, amadoda awasho lutho lapho efuna ukubonisa indelelo emshadweni. Kuvamile ukuthi bahoxe uma benenkinga kuyilapho imvelo yowesifazane kuwukukhuluma nokuxhuma nothile. Ezinye izimpawu ezibonisa ukuthi umyeni wakho uyakuzonda zihlanganisa ukuqhathanisa nokuncokola okungadingekile. Bangase bakhulume amazwi ahlabayo ngonkosikazi womunye umuntu noma abangani bazi ukuthi kungase kukuxake. Lapho lokho kwenzeka, ukunqoba ukucasuka emshadweni kungase kubonakale kunzima kakhulu.
4. Ukuphikisana njengendlela yokuphila
Njalo, izimpikiswano ezingapheli zobudlelwano nazo ziyizimpawu zokucasuka. Kusukela ezindabeni zasekhaya kuya ezinqumweni ezibalulekile zempilo, abalingani abacasukelana bayathanda ukungaboni ngaso linye kuyo yonke into ngoba lezi zingxabano yizona kuphela ezibahlanganisayo. Udidekile? Ake sichaze. Abanye abesilisa nabesifazane bafuna ukulwa ngoba yilapho kuphela lapho bexoxa khona ngokwethembeka.
Ezikhathini eziningi, azihambelani. Izimpi zibaletha endaweni eyodwa, noma ngabe kuyingozi. “Njalo uma sikhuluma kuvele kuxabane, ngisho noma sikhuluma ngemisebenzi yasekhaya, noma kanjani, amazwi aphakama nokungahloniphi kuholela ekuxabaneni. Kubuza uJeremiya ekhuluma ngomshado wakhe oseneminyaka eyishumi.
5. Uma kunenzondo emshadweni, uzizwa ukhululekile
Lokhu kwenzeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Unqamuka kangangokuba kancane kancane uziphatha njengabantu ababili ongabazi abahlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa. Kwenzeka kakhulu lapho uvala ukungezwani kwakho futhi ugwema ukuba nanoma yikuphi ukungqubuzana. Ungase usho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Umngane wami womshado uyangicasukela,” kodwa cishe ngeke ukhulume ngakho.
Lapho bobabili, indoda nomkayo, bekhetha ukubheka ngenye indlela kunokuxazulula izinkinga zabo, bazizwa behlukene kakhulu. Ayikho imigubho ehlanganyelwe, awekho amaholide ajabulisayo futhi kunomuzwa wokungabi naluhlelo ngendlela oziphatha ngayo umshado ongajabulisi. Lezi yizimpawu eziqondile zokucasuka emshadweni.
6. Ukucasuka emshadweni kuholela ekuphileni kobulili obuntula
Noma nini lapho kunezinkinga zobudlelwano, umuntu olimalayo kuqala ucansi. Ngemva kweminyaka eminingi yomshado, njengoba kunjalo, ukugcina uhlangothi olungokomzimba lobuhlobo lushubile kudinga umzamo. Kodwa imibhangqwana esemishadweni ejabulisayo isondelana kakhulu ngokomzwelo njengoba iminyaka ihamba. Kwenzeka okuphambene emishadweni enenzondo.
Akukho ukukhangwa kumlingani futhi kwandisa amathuba okuba omunye wabo afune ukwaneliseka ngokocansi ngaphandle komshado. Ukugcina ukukhangwa ngokocansi a ubudlelwane besikhathi eside noma umshado unzima. Lapho unenzondo engapheli emshadweni, isifiso sokusebenza ngokusondelana ngokomzimba siyahlupheka.
7. Bakhohlwa yikho konke okubalulekile kuwe
Kungaba yizinsuku zesikhumbuzo noma izinsuku zokuzalwa, ozakwethu abanenzondo benza izaba zokugwema ukuba ndawonye. Uma uphethe intukuthelo ejulile ngomngane wakho womshado noma okuphambene nalokho, noma yini ekwenza ujabule ayibenzi bajabule. Injabulo yokwabelana ngezinto ndawonye iyashabalala futhi ithathelwa indawo amazwi abhuqayo ahloselwe ukwenza inhlekisa nganoma yini ebalulekile kuwe.
Ekuqaleni, bonke bangase babonakale bengamancoko kodwa kancane kancane uyabona ukuthi ukugxekwa okungapheli kukhuphuka ngenxa yokucasuka ebudlelwaneni, futhi kungase kusho umshado ongenaluthando.
Manje njengoba usubonile ukuthi ukucasuka kwenzani ebudlelwaneni ngalezi zimpawu, kufanele ukuthi ubonile ukuthi kubalulekile ukubhekana nakho ngaphambi kokuba kubole isibopho sakho ngaphakathi. Uma into ethi, “Umkami ungicasukela, ngingayilungisa kanjani?”, ibikuthwalisa kanzima, yazi ukuthi kuningi ongakwenza ukuze uthuthukise isimo somshado wakho.
Ukufunda okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyisi-7 Owakwakho Ubhekana Nazo Enhlekeleleni Yase-Midlife
Ingabe Umshado Ungalulama Emagqubu?
Ngaphambi kokuthi sikhulume ngezindlela zokukusiza ukuthi uqonde ukuthi ungasusa kanjani ukucasuka, kubalulekile ukuqeda ukuphelelwa ithemba okungenzeka ube nakho ngaphakathi kuwena. Yebo, kuyiqiniso ukuthi wena nesithandwa sakho anikwazi ukukhuluma ngenxa yokucasuka kodwa akumele kuhlale kunjalo.
Iqiniso liwukuthi ngomzamo oqhubekayo nokubekezela okukhulu, ukunqoba ukucasuka kungenzeka ngokuphelele. Nokho, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi njengoba nje ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi, akuyona into elula kunazo zonke emhlabeni. Nazi izinto ezimbalwa ozozidinga ukuze ukwazi ukunqoba ukucasuka:
- Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungasebenza izimanga ukukusiza ukuthi ufinyelele kumsuka futhi uxazulule izinkinga
- Ukubekezela, uzwela, nokweseka kuyizimfuneko zangaphambili zokunqoba ukucasuka
- Ukunqoba amagqubu emshadweni kumayelana nokufaka inhliziyo yakho kuwo, uma usukholelwa ukuthi kungenzeka, kufanele uhlose
- Ukubhekana nokucasuka kudinga umzamo wabo bobabili abalingani
Ake singene emininingwaneni eyengeziwe mayelana nendlela yokuyeka ukucasuka emshadweni, lapho ungase udinge ukwelashwa ukuze ukusize ngalokho (isaziso sokonakala: kuhlale kuyisikhathi esihle sokwelashwa), nokuthi yini okudingeka uqale ukuyenza.
Ukucasuka Emshadweni - Izindlela Eziyisi-6 Zokubhekana Nakho
Lapho unomuzwa wokuthi umshado wakho awuphokophele ndawo futhi uzibuze into efana nokuthi “Kungani ngimcasukela umyeni/umkami?”, ukuzindla nokuzindla kuba isidingo sehora. Le mizwa ngokuqinisekile iyizinsalela ezinqwabelene zentukuthelo evaliwe noma ukukhungatheka okuholela ekucasukeni ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, udinga ukunquma ukuthi ufuna ukuwuthuthukisa futhi unikeze umshado wakho isibhamu emvuselelweni. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi kungenzeka. Ngaphandle uma uku- ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo, kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi unikeze umshado wakho ithuba. UPrachi unikeza lawa macebiso ayisithupha:
1. Cisha isitimu sakho kwenye indawo
Umthetho wokuqala wokubuyisana - ungasondeli kumlingani wakho lapho ethukuthele. Umqondo ongokomzwelo awukwazi ukucabanga ngendlela enengqondo. Intukuthelo empeleni iyindlela yokuzivikela evala ukutholakala kwegazi esikhungweni sokucabanga esinengqondo sobuchopho bakho. Ungase ufune ukuhlasela umlingani wakho lapho ekuhlasela ngamazwi ahlabayo, kodwa zama ukuqoqa imicabango yakho.
Hamba uyogijima, ushaye imicamelo noma ulale kodwa ungasabeli ngokucasuka. Ekugcineni, uma unethemba lokulungisa ubuhlobo bakho, ukusabela ngomusa kanye nokucabangela okuncane kubaluleke kakhulu, ngisho nalapho ufisa ukuthethisa umlingani wakho. Thatha isinyathelo emuva, uphefumule kakhulu, futhi uhambe ukhiphe ukufutheka kwakho kwenye indawo.
2. Nquma uphawu lokuvala noma ukuthinta
Ningase niqhamuke nesivumelwano ngezikhathi zenu zobumnandi nindawonye futhi ninqume ukuthinta kwesikhashana ongasisebenzisa noma nini lapho impi iqala ukuphuma esandleni. Ingxabano noma ukulwa njalo kuqala ngomuntu oyedwa. Abekho abantu ababili abangathukuthela ngesikhathi esisodwa ngendaba efanayo. Ngakho-ke, noma ubani oqala impi, omunye (ngokuvamile umuntu opholile) udinga ukusebenzisa isenzo sokuvala isikhathi ukuze agcine ukuthula. Thatha okunye isikhala somuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni bakho, kuzokusiza kakhulu.
3. Namathela odabeni ukuze ugweme imizwa engemihle engadingekile
Ngakho unquma ukuziphindiselela lapho ukucasuka komngane wakho womshado kuvutha. Emzamweni wokuba nesandla engxoxweni, ungase uveze izindaba ezingahlobene phambili. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kuholela kuphela enkingeni yangempela yokuba eceleni futhi impi iqhubeke ingalawuleki. Uma kusiza, bhala phansi imizwa nemizwa yakho bese uxoxa ngakho nophathina wakho kodwa namathela odabeni oluyinhloko oluholele ekulweni. Ungahlehli.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 8 Izinkinga Ezivamile “Zomshado We-Narcissistic” Kanye Nendlela Yokuzisingathwa ngayo
4. Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina”
Ungasebenzisi izitatimende eziningi kakhulu eziqala ngokuthi “Wena”. Akusho ukuthi uthwala icala ngakho konke okwenzekayo ukuze kube nokuthula, kusho ukuthi uzama ukungathathi hlangothi. “Wenze lokhu”, “Ungenze ngazizwa kanje”, “Awulokothi ukwenze lokhu”, “Uhlala wenza lokho”, njll kuzokwenza omunye umuntu azivikele.
Esikhundleni salokho, u-Prachi uphakamisa ukuthi uguqule imisho yakho ibe "Ngazizwa kanje ngesikhathi lokho kwenzeka". Yiba nomusa ngaphandle kokungenzi lutho. Lokhu kungase kubonise umlingani wakho ukuthi ufuna ngempela ukusebenzela ukubuyisana.
5. Zishintshe wena, hhayi umlingani wakho
Uma ubona izimpawu eziqinile zokuthi umlingani wakho uyakucasukela, ungazami ukuzishintsha. Kunalokho, yenza isifungo sokuzola nokuvuthwa. Zitshele nje, “Kuyisinqumo sabo ukungithethisa, kuyisinqumo sami ukungaphenduli.” Ngokungacindezeli noma ukukhanda ngamatshe kodwa ngokuzola, ngeke uzinike ifolishi eyengeziwe ukuze zikuhlasele. Uma isiphepho sesiphelile, lawula.
6. Thola ukwelulekwa kwabashadile
Uma uzibuza ukuthi yini okumele uyenze uma uzakwenu ekucasukela, inkambo engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukukhuluma ngakho nochwepheshe onelayisensi. Uma yonke ingxoxo iphenduka impi futhi kubonakale sengathi awukwazi ukufinyelela ngokuphumelelayo izixazululo ezingxabanweni onazo, ukufinyelela kumeluleki wezomshado kungakusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthi yini eyonakele, nokuthi ungayenza kanjani ukulungisa.
Uyombona Nini Umelaphi Wokucasuka Emshadweni
Manje njengoba sesikhulume ngesihloko sokwelashwa kwezithandani ukuze sikusize uqonde ukuthi ungayeka kanjani ukucasuka emshadweni, ake siqhubeke siphendule umbuzo ongapheli: kufanele uxhumane nini? Umbuzo abantu abavame ukuwucabanga ngokweqile ngoba ukucasuka akuyona into eyenzeka ngokuphazima kweso, into eba khona isikhathi eside.
Nokho, impendulo ihlala ifana, futhi ilula kakhulu. Umzuzu lapho uzwa sengathi ubudlelwano bakho budinga usizo, umzuzu ocabanga ukuthi ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungaba yinzuzo kuwe, uma kuphela ukukunikeza ithuba lokuzwakalisa izinkinga zakho, kuwumqondo omuhle ukuphishekela ngaleso sikhathi. Kafushane, nakhu lapho kufanele uphishekele ukwelashwa kwezithandani ngobudlelwano bakho:
- Uma uzwa sengathi awukwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho
- Uma ucabanga ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bungasebenzisa
- Noma yimuphi umzuzu lapho kuzwakala sengathi awusakhuli ebudlelwaneni
- Lapho i-dynamic iqala ukuzizwa inzima noma lapho ungakwazi ukubhekana nezinkinga zakho
- Lapho ubona izimpawu zokucasuka komshado
- Lapho ufisa ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho nakhe indawo ephephile egxile ekutholeni izixazululo
Uma kuwusizo olufunayo, lwe-Bonobology iphaneli yabelaphi abanolwazi ingakusiza ukuniqondisa nobabili nibuyele ebudlelwaneni obuvumelanayo enanabo.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukucasuka komshado kungase kubangelwa izidingo noma izifiso ezingahlangatshezwana nazo, noma ukungakwazi ukulungisa izinkinga zesikhathi esidlule
- Ivamise ukuvela ngokuziphatha okunolaka, izingxoxo ezibhuqayo, ukukhanda ngamatshe, ukuzizwa ukhululekile kanye nempilo yocansi engenabukhazikhazi.
- Ukukunqoba, kumele nisebenzisane, nifune ukwelulekwa, nibe nozwelo, futhi nisekele kakhulu umlingani wakho
Kuyadabukisa ukuthi ubudlelwano buyawohloka ngenxa yokucasuka. Kungukuzikhethela ukuthi uyafuna yini ukusindisa umshado wakho noma cha, kodwa uma uqaphela izimpawu eziyisixwayiso kusenesikhathi, kuyafaneleka ukuthatha isinyathelo esithile. Ikakhulukazi lapho imicabango enjengokuthi “umyeni wami uyangicasukela” noma “umkami uyangizonda” ikucindezela, ukwazi ukuthi yini okumelwe uyenze ngakho kungasindisa umshado wakho. Ukuthethelela kanye nomusa omncane kungasiza kakhulu ekusindiseni ubuhlobo. Ungavumeli ukucasuka emshadweni, kunalokho, zama ukuvuselela.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Bona izimpawu lapho umlingani wakho ekucasukela noma ukuba khona kwakho eduze kwakhe. Uma usukwenzile lokho, thola lapho uphambuka khona noma ukuthi kungaba yini imbangela. Khona-ke, sebenzela ekuthuthukiseni ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile esikhundleni sokukuyeka kukhule futhi kukhule.
Yebo, kungaba. Ikakhulukazi uma kungabhekwana nakho kusenesikhathi. Ukucasuka kungaholela enzondoni ephumela entukuthelweni. Uma isimo singaxazululeki, siyakha size sifike lapho umuntu ekhona nje kwanele. Awukho umshado ongaphila ebubini obunjalo.
Imbangela yokucasuka ukungafezeki okulindelwe ongase ube nakho kumlingani wakho. Isizathu sesibili ukuwohloka kokuxhumana. Uma ungenazo izingxoxo ezifanele zokuxazulula izinkinga zakho, ukucasuka kuyakhula.
Ukucasuka kungaphela, kufana negagasi elikhuphukayo futhi linqamuke. Kodwa ukucasuka kujulile. Iwumphumela wentukuthelo ngakho-ke ibhuquza ngaphansi. Kodwa ingabe ingahamba? Yebo, inqobo nje uma zombili izinhlangothi zingazibophezela ekuzixazululeni.
Konke kuwukukhetha. Phakathi kwesikhuthazo nokusabela, kunesici esibalulekile esibizwa ngokuthi ukukhetha. Wonke umuntu unekhono lengqondo lokwenza izinqumo kodwa ngokuvamile asizisebenzisi. Ikakhulukazi ngoba asifundiswa ukuhlala nemizwelo engakhululekile. Ungenza isinqumo sokuyeka ukucasuka kodwa lokho kufanele ukwenze ngengqondo ezolile hhayi isimo somqondo esingokomzwelo.
Ungakhulula ukucasuka ngokwamukela amaphutha akho futhi. Intukuthelo ebudlelwaneni ayichemi ohlangothini olulodwa. Bheka ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha noma amagama abangele ukuthi umyeni wakho akuthukuthelele, sebenzelana nalabo futhi kungenzeka ukubakhulula.
Yebo, kungaba. Kodwa zama ukungenzi ngokwakho. Funa usizo lomelaphi. Usizo lochwepheshe lungcono kakhulu kunomndeni noma abangani njengoba uzobe uqinisekisa ukuthi ufake umuntu wangaphandle ongachemile ongasiza ukukukhombisa indlela ebheke ekululameni.
Izindlela Eziyi-10 Ezinekhono Zokubhekana Nomyeni Othukuthele
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
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