Umona ebudlelwaneni ngokuvamile ungenza ngisho nabaphile kahle babonakale sengathi banobuthi ngokwemvelo, ngezinkinga ezihambisanayo. Umcabango nje wokuthi umlingani wakho ukhaphela ukumethemba kungase kuveze okubi kakhulu kuwe. Ukuxabana kungase kubangele umonakalo ongapheli, futhi kungazelelwe wonke umngane umlingani wakho anabo, aphenduke abe usongo ebudlelwaneni benu.
Kungakho, ukuze kwakhiwe ubuhlobo obunempilo futhi bubulondoloze, umuntu kumelwe afunde ukulawula imizwa yomona ukuze angavumeli ubuhlobo obuhle ngokuphelele buchitheke. Ukuphulukisa umona nokungazethembi kuza kamuva, okuza kuqala ukuqonda ukuthi umona uyingxenye nengxenye yenqubo yobudlelwano.
Kwesinye isikhathi, ngisho nokubuka ngobuqili kumuntu okubhekile kunganele ukumaka umlingani wakho. Ngakho, umuntu angawugwema kanjani umona ebudlelwaneni? Kufanele sikuveze kanjani lapho sinomona? Ake sithole.
Umona Ebudlelwaneni: Inganekwane Endala Njengesikhathi
Okuqukethwe
"Ngicabanga ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba", wasondela futhi washo kumyeni wakhe, ngezwi lakhe elifushane. Kwase kudlule imizuzu engaphezu kweshumi nesishiyagalombili, futhi wayengakasuki ohlangothini lwalowo wesifazane. Wayevunule ngosilika, amehlo ecwebile, futhi evuvukele umzimba! “Izingane zizolinda,” etshela umyeni wakhe futhi, izwi lakhe libanda kakhulu kulokhu.
Wazikhipha kulentokazi, wabamba umkakhe ingalo waqala ukuya komunye umbhangqwana endaweni yokudlela. "Errr...ngicela isiphuzo esisodwa esincane?" Wancenga ngendlela engathi shu. Kwaze kwahlwa, waqhela kuMiss MNC. Umkakhe akazange aphikelele ukuthi ahambe futhi kodwa wayazi ukuthi uhambo lwemoto oluya ekhaya luzoba lude.
Ungashintshanisa unkosikazi nomyeni noma ozakwethu ebudlelwaneni bezithandani futhi isimo sisazoshaya insimbi. Kwabaningi bethu, okungenani ngesikhathi esithile ekuphileni kwethu. Ngisho elula futhi ubudlelwano obunempilo jikijela izimanga ezimbi endaweni yomphakathi. Ngezinye izikhathi okudingekayo nje isiphuzo noma ezimbili, ukukhuluma kabi ngelangabi elidala noma ukubukeka okulibala okuhambisana nokumomotheka.
Uyini umona?
I-Oxford English Dictionary ichaza igama elithi umona ngokuthi 'ukuzizwa noma ukubonisa ukucasukela umuntu omcabanga njengembangi'. Le ncazelo iphakamisa ukuthi yi- inkolelo ngokuba khona kombango okuwudaba olubalulekile, hhayi ukuthi umbango onjalo ukhona ngempela yini. Iningi lezazi licabanga ukuthi umona ungokwesiko jikelele - nakuba isiko nenkathi yomlando kwakheka indlela umona ochazwa ngayo, yini oyisusayo, nendlela abesilisa nabesifazane ababhekana ngayo nawo.
Ososayensi baphinde baqoqa ubufakazi bokuhlukana kobulili kokuthi ngamunye uhlangabezana kanjani nokuthi usabela kanjani esilweni esinamehlo aluhlaza. Ngokuvumelana ne Ibhasi & Schmitt, 1993; I-Glass & Wright, ngo-1992, kuyilapho emadodeni, ukungathembeki kobulili kubangela umhawu omkhulu; kwabesifazane, ukutholakala kokuthi abayeni babo bakhe ubuhlobo obujulile obungokomzwelo nabanye besifazane kanye/noma basaphaza izinsiza kubo kucasula kakhulu.
Umona ebudlelwaneni obuqinile
Okunye okutholakele kwaba ukuthi abantu ababandakanyeka ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside baba nokungavikeleki okuncane nokwethembana okuphezulu. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi abacwaningi babonisa ukuthi isizathu salokhu kwakuvame ukuthi, esikhathini esidlule, ubudlelwano babo bake bahlushwa ubulili obudlulele (igama elithi extra-dyadic libhekisela ezinhlobonhlobo zokuziphatha ezenzeka ngaphandle kobudlelwane obuzibophezele/okunamathiselwe), futhi imibhangqwana yayifunde indlela yokunqoba izinkinga zokungavikeleki.
Umzwelo ovame kakhulu ohlobene nomhawu intukuthelo, futhi kwezinye izimo ezimbi kakhulu (umhawu ongathandeki), uhambisana nobudlova. Okuthakazelisayo okumele sikuqaphele lapha ukuthi iningi lethu lingazwela kakhulu umenzi wobubi olimele/onqatshiwe kunalowo osekugcineni kokuthukuthela nokululazwa! Ngisho nezinkantolo zethu zibhekana namacala othando ngokuwabuka kancane. Ukubulala ishende ngolaka ngoba omunye umbambe eqola ekamelweni kuyicala 'lokuzifela' kodwa ukubulala umuntu esingamazi osiqole imali kuwukwenza 'ngomoya obandayo'.
Indlela esiveza ngayo umona
Nakuba ukucasuka kungase kube enye yezindlela eziholayo zokubonisa umhawu, neminye imizwelo enjengokudabuka nokukhathazeka nayo iyasebenza. Futhi zibonakaliswa ngokuziphatha okuhluke ngokuphelele kwentukuthelo. Ukuncika okuthuthukisiwe, ukwanda kwemiboniso yothando kanye nokwanda kwezidingo zokuya ocansini, isibonelo kungaba okumbalwa. Ingabe amagama athi, 'Bekuwucansi oluhle kakhulu lokuzilungisa olwake lwaba khona' azwakala ejwayelekile? Siyakwamukela ku- I-chaos yothando lothando. Nansi eminye imibuzo ongazindla ngayo...
Ingabe ithemba lomuntu omuhle kakhulu/ohlakaniphe kakhudlwana (noma ngabe kunengqondo kangakanani) ukunaka owakwakho, kanye nomlingani wakho ecwebezela ngaphansi kweshawa, kubangela imizwa yentukuthelo nokungajabulisi kubo bobabili?
Ingabe ukunaka komlingani wakho komunye, njengoba uthando nothando seluphelile ebudlelwaneni benu (asikhulume iqiniso lapha, nobabili kade nikhona, nenza lokho) kukwenza ungazethembi?
Ingabe uyaxoxa ngengxabano oye waba nayo nomngane wakho wobulili obuhlukile ukuze uthole umbono womunye ubulili, kodwa ucabange ngakho njengokukhaphela lapho umlingani wakho enza okufanayo?
Le mibuzo ingase ikwenze ucabange ngemvelo yomona ebudlelwaneni. Imizwa yokungazethembi nomona ivame ukuqhamuka ngaphandle, okubalulekile kulezo zimo yindlela obhekana ngayo nayo. Ngakho, umuntu angaba kanjani nokulawula umona ebudlelwaneni? Ake sithole.
Indlela Yokulawula Imizwa Yomona Ebudlelwaneni
Okwake kwaba ubudlelwano obunothando kakhulu kungenzeka manje sekuphenduke umdlalo wokuklabalasa njalo uma nihlangana. Ngokufutheka okubangelwa umona, uzokhohlwa konke ukuthi lo muntu usho lukhulu kangakanani kuwe nokuthi awukwazi ukucabanga ngokulahlekelwa nguye. Okuxakayo, ngoba ngokuqhubeka nezingxabano ezigcwele intukuthelo, uyazixosha.
Sibale izindlela ezimbalwa zokukusiza ukuthi ubhekane nesikhwele ebudlelwaneni, ukuze ungagcini usuzisola ngephimbo elinokhahlo osheshe walisebenzisa.
1. Yilwa nembangela
Imizwa yokungazethembi kanye nomona kuyahambisana. Awuzethembi ngoba unomona, unomona ngoba awuzethembi. Abantu abaningi bavame ukuba nomona ngenxa yezinye izindaba ezifana nokungazethembi, ukukhathazeka kanye nezindaba zokuzethemba. Ngokubhekana nezinkinga ezingase zibangele ukuba ube nomhawu, ngeke nje uthuthukise ubuhlobo bakho, kodwa uzobona umthelela omuhle empilweni yakho ngaphandle kwawo.
2. Thuthukisa ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho
Ukubonile kumamuvi, konke “uma usho/ukwenza lokho, kungenza ngizizwe kanje”. Nakuba kungeyona indlela kuphela ngcono ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho, ukuqala ngokuzivocavoca okuyisisekelo kuzosiza nakanjani. Uzofinyelela ekugcineni kulokho okucabangayo nokuthi umlingani wakho ucabangani ngesikhwele ebudlelwaneni benu.
3. Yakhani ukwethembana
Esinye sezisekelo zanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo ukwethembana. Ngaphandle kwakho, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buphumelele. Uma ufuna ukulawula imizwa yomona ebudlelwaneni benu, sebenzelani ukwakha ukwethembana phakathi komunye nomunye. Uma usukwazi ukumethemba ngenhliziyo yonke umlingani wakho, uzoba nokuncane kakhulu ongakhathazeka ngakho.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 11 Amasu Okuyeka Ukuba Nomona Nokulawula Ebudlelwaneni
I-4. Hlala uzolile
Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza, ngiyazi, kodwa zama ukungasabeli ngokucasuka. Thatha isikhashana sokuphumula, zipholise bese uhlola isimo ngaphambi kokuba ukhethe ukuphawula. Kuyenzeka uze ubone ukuthi into obunomona ngayo ayikho into ongazikhathaza ngayo. Ukuphulukisa umona nokungazethembi kuqala kuwena, futhi kuphela uma usesimweni esizolile somqondo lapho ungafika khona emsebenzini.
5. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
Lapho izinto ziba namandla, alikho ihlazo lokuthi udinga usizo lokubhekana nemizwa yokungazethembi nomhawu okungenzeka ubhekene nawo. Ukwelashwa kuzokusiza ukucubungula leyo mizwa futhi kuzokunikeza amathuluzi nolwazi oludingekayo ukuze ubuyise isithunzi sakho. E-Bonobology, sine- inqwaba yabelaphi abanolwazi ilinde ukukusiza ukuthi udlule kulezi zikhathi ezinzima.
Ngokulawula imizwa yokungazethembi kanye nomhawu odlula kukho, uzobona umehluko hhayi nje ebudlelwaneni bakho, kodwa nakweminye imikhakha yempilo yakho. Ukusebenzisana kwakho nomhlaba kuncike ekutheni uxhumana kanjani nawe. Ngokuzethemba ngokwengeziwe futhi uthembele emandleni akho, uzogcina usunobudlelwano obunempilo, obungenamona kanye nempilo engcono.
Ukuze uthole amanye amavidiyo angochwepheshe sicela ubhalisele Isiteshi sethu se-YouTube. Chofoza lapha.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Yebo, umhawu omncane ebudlelwaneni uvame ukuba nempilo. Ubungeke ufune umlingani wakho akuxoshe ngokunganaki uma udlala ngothando nomunye umuntu, akunjalo? Lokho kungasho ukuthi sebephelelwe intshisekelo. Ngakho-ke, ukuze ubonise ukuthi usakhathalela, umhawu omncane ungaba nempilo.
Umona uvame ukuvela emizweni yokungazethembi nasezindabeni zokuzethemba ngaphakathi kwakho. Ngokubhekana nezinkinga ongase ube nazo, uzofunda nendlela yokubhekana nesikhwele ebuhlotsheni.
Uma ufuna ukuyeka ukuba nomona ebudlelwaneni, ungaqala ngokuxilonga bese ulungisa umsuka womona. Yakha ukwethembana nesithandwa sakho, sebenzela ekuthuthukiseni ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi ungavumeli ukucasuka kwakho kulawule indlela owenza ngayo. Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuzosebenza izimanga futhi uma ubheke ukuthi ungabi nomona ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ingabe Umona Onempilo Ungakusiza Ukwakha Ubudlelwano Obuqinile?
Amathiphu ayi-10 Okuguqula Umona Ebudlelwaneni Ube Ukukhuthaza
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Thembeka ngyaguliswa yilo lonke ibhoklolo kulungile isoka lakho liyohlola abanye abantu besifazane ukuthi kunjani kumele babe namehlo akhona kuphela, mhlawumbe yingakho emhlabeni namuhla kugcwele ukukopela nokuxega njengoba unikeza ukukhanya okuluhlaza ukuthi amadoda agqolozele abanye abantu besifazane, akusibo abantu besifazane abazibona bengazihloniphi. abesifazane phambi kwabo futhi ngino-100% omuhle akuwona ngedwa abesifazane abazizwa ngaleyo ndlela, sonke siyaguga kancane kancane kodwa kulungile ukuthi umlingani wethu abheke abantu abaneminyaka engu-20 + ubudala futhi sihloselwe ukumamatheka futhi sibe okulungile ngalokho ihlaya self esteem ingena ngaphakathi kodwa indlela esibukwa ngayo sonke kulezi zinsuku akekho onendaba futhi abesifazane becindezeleka kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili lapho sidangele kakhulu uthando lwethu.
Ngakho-ke ngiyaxolisa angihambisani nokuzethemba okuphansi noma kulungile ukubukeka nokukhohlisa nje ungathinti
Ukube ubuhlala unomuntu okwenza ngokuphindaphindiwe ubungeke uvele ushalaze ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ubuyoba nokungabaza kwakho nombono wakho ngawe wehla.
Mhlawumbe uma ngempela siyeka ukuvumela amadoda abaleke ekucabangeni ukuthi kulungile ukuhlola wonke umuntu ngabe kuyancipha ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi nokudlwengulwa okuqhubekayo
Hhayi ubanike ithikithi legolide lokuthi bangalokothi bakhule
Futhi yebo ngiyazi ukuthi abantu besifazane bayakhohlisa kodwa iningi labesifazane liyakwazi ukuzithiba nokuzihlonipha lingahambi licasha ngezibuko zelanga bese liqhubeka nomhlaba lithi kulungile ukuphambana.
Ukuhlela nje ukudelela nokungahloniphi isithandwa sakho
Yima ucabange ukuthi ungamfuna yini ofana nawe ubuka indodakazi yakho bese ucabanga ukuthi ucabangani ngentokazi yomunye umuntu
HHAYI ngakho-ke ume kanjani ucabange ngomlingani wakho isikhashana lapho kancane kancane umenza alahlekelwe ukuzethemba njengoba sikhula ngokudabukisayo emphakathini lapho sihloselwe ukuphelela khona umhlaba umbi ngokwanele njengoba unjalo ngaphandle kokwenza lowo omthandayo azizwe emncane kunaye kakade.