Relationships 101

Is your man with you just for sex? 20 signs to watch out!

Is your man genuinely in love with you or is just using you for sex?
woman and man getting intimate

We all know, men would do anything to get laid, even pretend that they are in love. Some men stay in relationships just for the sex, and they move onto the next when they have been bored. Some men intentionally play with your emotions because they want sex, and once they are done, they may not even call you once.

So how do you make sure this does not happen to you?

20 signs a guy is with you just for sex and nothing else

Does your gut feeling tell you that he is not ‘the one’? You might be dating Mr Hotshot, with whom you have this sizzling chemistry. But is Mr Hotshot romantic or just sexual? There is a difference between being romantically involved and sexually involved in a relationship. It is for you to identify whether he is into you the way you are into him. There is no harm being only involved sexually but it should be both sides. If you are looking for an emotional and romantic relationship, look out for these 20 signs to be sure he is not just with you for sex

Some men intentionally play with your emotions because they want sex, and once they are done, they may not even call you once.

1. Too touch-y

If the guy always looks for every opportunity to grab you even in places where it is inappropriate, take it as a sign. It might sound cute when he says, “I can’t keep my hands off you”, but imagine yourself going to your Grandmother’s funeral where you get your butt grabbed instead of a shoulder to cry on. Men who are serious about you look out for your emotional needs first.

man grabbing woman by waist
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2. Compliments your physical attributes

There is nothing wrong with “You have a great body” or “That booty is sexy” until these are the only compliments you hear. If he just compliments you for your body and beauty, it means that he is physically attracted to you and not in any other way. Women want to be complimented for the qualities within them and not just their physical attributes.

3. Dirty talk

If most conversations between you and him are just about sex, that is all he is thinking about when it comes to you. Such guys have a way to make everything sound sensual and want you to respond the same way. Make sure you have other conversations with your partner other than just sex or else you are just another girl he is banging.

Related reading: What is it about one-sided love that keeps us hooked?

Relationship 101

4. Inconsistent behaviour

Remember the beginning of your relationship when you would hang out more often and have long conversations. Is he still the same or is it just the sex that is consistent? Guys like these have a knack with women and know how to get them interested in what they want, in this case, sex.

5. Disinterested in your personal life

When you talk about your day or the problems you are dealing with, you want your partner to listen, hug you and tell you that everything will be okay. You should not have to take off your clothes every time to get his attention. A real guy would want to know more about your personal life so that he can get to know the ‘real you’ and not the ‘you’ that is under those clothes.

6. Secret life

Ask yourself whether you even know the guy you are dating. Is he the person he claims to be or is he some guy messing with your feelings. Does your guy tell you about his whereabouts? Does he flinch every time you go near his phone? The guy keeping his life a secret from you could be hiding his actual relationship.

7. You have never met his friends

If the guy doesn’t want you to meet his friends, it is probable that they don’t know you exist. He may keep giving excuses to keep you away from them. You should make sure his friends get to know you, because how they behave with you says a lot about what image of you he has built in their heads.

8. Sneaks out after sex

How many times has he sneaked out right after having sex while you are still in bed? It is true that sleeping over may be difficult, especially when it is the beginning of a relationship, but it should not be a continuous situation, especially when there are chances for him to stay over.

man and sad woman in bed

9. Avoids relationship talk

You might have been dating him for some time now and talk to him about where it is going. He will find every way to avoid it or just tell you that he will talk about it later. If the coverup continues, it is that he doesn’t want it to go anywhere beyond sex.

10. Sex is the answer to everything

For such guys, sex is the answer to everything. All they care about is sex. Whatever the situation might be, he will find a way to make it into a sexual activity.

11. Doesn’t make you feel safe

There are times when you will not like him touching you on and on but he keeps touching you any way. It is because you don’t find his touch appropriate anymore. He doesn’t make you feel safe, but like his personal sex toy. He should back off when you say no.

Related reading: 6 reasons why being single is better than being in a relationship

12. Busy for other plans

All of a sudden he becomes “busy” when you plan to go to the movies or hang out some place other than your homes. How often does he cancel on you when it is a booty call? It is just the sex he is interested in. Other plans are just obligations he doesn’t want to fulfil.

13. Booty call

He calls you over to his place to hang out, but all you are doing is ‘hanging out’ in his bedroom. It is a booty call when the idea of you two hanging out at his place and watching a movie is just replaced with only sex.

14. Behaviour with other women

Notice his behaviour with other women. If his behaviour is too flirtatious even when you are around, then it is not the first time he is flirting with other women while being in a relationship with you. Guys don’t go around flirting with other women when in a serious relationship.

lady thinking man and woman together
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15. Too romantic before sex

He will say all the cheesy and romantic lines to get you in bed and after sex something will be off about him. His agenda is complete and he doesn’t need to be romantic any more.

16. Not much effort

Relationships have their ups and downs and both people have to go through some effort to make the relationship work. You should not be the only one doing everything to keep him happy. He should also work hard to solve issues, rather than leaving you to handle it alone.

17. Avoids hanging out in public

Most of your plans might involve getting takeaways or home delivery. This could be because he doesn’t want to be seen with you in public where he could come across people or his other girlfriends.

18. Doesn’t refer to you as his girlfriend

If he doesn’t refer to you as his girlfriend, then what are you to him? He will give excuses as to why he might have not acknowledged you as his girlfriend when he had to, but why hide when there is nothing to hide?

19. Interested only in sex

He starts yawning when you want to watch a movie or talk about something, but gets all energetic when you head to the bedroom. He doesn’t care what you want to do, as long as his sexual needs are fulfilled, because that is the only reason why he is hanging out with you.

20. Gets angry when you say NO

He gets angry when you say no to sex. He finds it a waste of time and starts getting annoyed and you realise that the only way to please him is by having sex with him.

wife-refusing-sex

Be sure not to get trapped with a guy just wanting to get into your pants when you are looking for a serious relationship. Ignoring these signs is a big mistake. You might convince yourself that he will fall in love with you eventually, but that is where most women go wrong. If these signs exist in your relationship, it is time to confront him and let him out of your life and save yourself from being exploited.

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