He aha te mea hei mahi ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine

Kei te raru koe ki te whakaaro me aha koe ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine? Āe, ki te pērā koe, tera pea kua raru koe i te pararaiha. Tērā pea kua whakawhirinaki tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine mō ōna hiahia kare ā-roto, mō ōna hiahia moepuku rānei, mō ngā tohutohu taketake rānei mō ngā take nui, iti hoki. Ahakoa ka oati ia he whanaungatanga whakawhanaunga noa iho, tera pea ka riri koe i tētahi taumata.

Nō reira, ki te mea he wahine kei te arohia e tō tāne, ki te kite rānei koe i tō tāne e tuku karere ana ki tētahi atu wahine, e kōrero pinepine ana rānei ki a ia, he tika rawa ō kare ā-roto hae me te āwangawanga. Engari, kāore tetahi o ēnei e tohu ana i te hiahia o tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, i te kore rānei ia e pono ki a koe.

Kāore e taea e koe te mahi i tāu mahi i muri mai me te whakaaro kei te whai hononga aroha rāua, kei te whai hononga kare ā-roto rānei ia. Tērā pea kei te pāngia ia e te mate tāne pōuri, kia mōhio ai koe. Hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki te āhua o te mea e tupu ana, me te pānga ki tō marena, kua kohikohia e mātou ngā take pea mō tēnei āhuatanga me ngā tohutohu mahi 12 hei whakatau i tēnei.

5 Ngā Take Pea mō te Kōrero a tō Tāne ki tētahi atu Wahine

Ina kite koe i tāu tāne e tuku karere ana ki tētahi atu wahine, e kōrero pinepine ana rānei ki a ia, tera pea ka pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha te take i kōrero ai tētahi tāne kua mārena ki tētahi atu wahine i te tuatahi?" Ka whakapuaki atu ahau i ngā āhuatanga i pā ki tētahi o ōku hoa tata, ki a Ashley, i roto i tana marena.

E mea ana a Ashley, "He maha ngā wā ka kitea e au taku tāne e kōrero ana ki tētahi atu wahine. Kei te kī tonu ia he mea tēnei mō te kaupapa hou kua tīmatahia e ia. Kua roa ahau e ngana ana kia tino manawanui. Engari ko te kite i a ia e haere tahi ana me ia ahakoa i ngā wiki mutunga kei te uaua haere i ia rā, i ia rā. Kāore au e pai ki te huri hei tētahi o aua wāhine whakapae e whaiwhai ana i ā rātou tāne, engari kāore he kōwhiringa māku. E hiahia ana ahau ki te mōhio he aha te mea hei mahi ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, ina titiro rānei ki tētahi atu wahine i runga ipurangi ."

Titiro mai, mā te iti noa o te whakatau hē a ia ka pakaru te turanga o tā rāua marena. Engari kāore e taea e mātou te kī atu he pai rawa atu ki a ia. He mea nui kia āta whakahaere i ngā mea ahakoa ka kitea e koe tō tāne e kōrero ana ki tētahi atu wahine. Āe, hei āwhina i a koe, kua whakarārangihia e mātou e rima ngā take pea e kōrero ana tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine:

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1. He hoa noa iho rātou

Ina kite koe kua kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, tera pea he hoa noa iho rāua. Ā, ehara i te mea ko te mahanga 'he hoa noa iho' e taka ana ki roto i te nuinga o ngā marena me ngā whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ko ia:

• He hoa o mua kāore he kino i hono anō ki a ia i ngā tau i muri mai
• He hoa wahine tawhito kei te tāone i muri i ngā tau maha o te noho ki tāwāhi
• A te aroha ki a Platonic he hoa rānei i hangaia e ia i te whare takaro, i te whare karakia rānei

2. He hoa mahi rātou

Ki te kite koe i tō tāne e tuku karere ana ki tētahi atu wahine, e kōrero ana rānei ki a ia i te waea i mua i tō whakaaro kei te hiahia aroha, kei te hiahia moepuku rānei ia ki a ia (kāore rānei ia e hiahia moepuku ki a koe), whakaarohia tēnei: ​​he hoa mahi noa iho pea ia. Anei ētahi āhuatanga ka taea:

• He kaimahi tauira hou ia, ā, me hoatu he tohutohu taipitopito mā te waea, mā te īmēra rānei.
• He rangatira hou ia e ripoatahia ana e tō tāne
• He hoa mahi ia kei tētahi atu tāone, whenua rānei, ā, kua tukuna ki te kaupapa kotahi me tā tō tāne.

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3. He mahi whakapouri ngākau

Nā, koinei te tīmatanga o te raruraru, ā, ka taea e koe te tino mohio ehara rāua i te hoa noa iho . Tērā pea kei te kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi hoa o mua, kei te whakawhirinaki rānei ki tētahi hoa hou mō ōna hiahia kare ā-roto. Ā, ka mutu pea tēnei ka noho tahi rāua i muri i a koe.

Tērā pea kei te kōrero rāua i ngā tumanako, ngā hiahia, ngā whāinga o te ao, ngā āhuatanga rānei o ia rā. He tohu ēnei kei te tinihanga tō tāne i te taha wairua. Anei ētahi āhuatanga pea i akiaki i tō tāne ki te whai hononga aroha ki tētahi atu wahine:

• I wareware koe i a ia i tana ngana ki te kōrero ki a koe mō tōna rā
• Kāore ia e rongo ana i te hononga kare ā-roto ki a koe i ēnei rā
• E whakaaro ana ia kāore kōrua e ōrite ana ngā whāinga o te ao, ā, kāore e hiahiatia ana e ia te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro ki a kōrua.
• Kua hoha ia ki te whanaungatanga me te kōrero mō ngā mahi o te whare me ngā tamariki i ia rā, ā, kua nui ake tōna hononga ki tētahi atu wahine.

4. He moepuku

He maha ngā wā ka hunaia e te tangata ngā mahi moepuku mā te kore e taunekeneke ki ā rātou hoa moepuku. Engari tera pea ētahi wā ka nui rawa te aroha o te tāne ki tana hoa moepuku mō te hototahitanga o te moepuku ki a rāua. Anei ngā take e kore ai e taea e ia te kore kōrero ki a ia:

• Ka tuku karere kuputuhi ia ki a ia pērā i tāu i mua
• He pai ki a ia te whakamātautau i runga i te moenga, ā, ka piri koe ki ngā mea noa
• Kua waiho e kōrua ko tō tāne te moepuku ki muri, ā, kua arotahi ki ngā mea whai hua ake o tō kōrua marena.

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5. He pai ki a ia te aro harakore

He maha ngā wā, ko te hiahia noa o ngā tāne kia hiahiatia e ētahi atu wāhine. He whakanui i te whakapehapeha, he 'whakapaipai' rānei, kāore he mea kē atu. Nō reira, tera pea ka whakapau kaha ia ki te whakaoti rapanga mō ngā wāhine e karapoti ana i a ia, me te kore whakaaro ki te tinihanga i a koe, ki te whakangaro rānei i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kei te pāngia ia e te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō, ā, me aro atu pea ia kia pai ake ai tōna whakaaro mōna anō.

Anei tētahi āhuatanga ōrite i pā ki tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit : "He pai ake tana noho tahi me ngā wāhine i ngā tāne. Kāore ia e whai ana i a rātou, engari ehara ia i te momo "tuākana". He torutoru āna hoa tāne e kitea ana e ia i ia wā, i ia wā, engari ko te nuinga o ana hoa pai ko ētahi wāhine e noho tahi ana me ia. Kāore au e māharahara ki tēnei mea nā te mea he rite tana manaaki i a rātou ki ngā tuahine, ā, he whakaute, he tiaki, he atawhai hoki ki a rātou." Nō reira, i tēnei wā, he tangata pai noa iho te tāne e manaaki pai ana i ngā wāhine.

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Āe, ehara i te mea ko ngā taunekeneke katoa me tētahi atu wahine e tohu ana kei te tinihanga tō tāne i a koe. Engari ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kei te ngana ia ki te tiki i tētahi okiokinga kare ā-roto, ā-ira rānei mā roto i ēnei taunekeneke, kua tae ki te wā kia tirohia e koe ngā ngoikoretanga o tō marena.

Anei te kōrero a tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit : "I kite noa ahau kua kōrero, kua tuku karere hoki taku tāne ki tētahi atu wahine. I te kura tuarua, i aro nui tēnei wahine ki a ia. Kua moe wahine ia, ā, he tamariki āna, engari e kōrero ana ia ki taku tāne mō ngā hāora. Ka tukuna atu e ia ētahi waiata aroha ki a ia, ā, ka kōrero mō ōna maharatanga. Ki ahau nei, i te āhua nei kei te takaro rāua i roto i ā rāua karere, ā, he tino mamae. Tata ki te 1-2 hāora te roa o ā rāua waeatanga." Inaianei kua tata tēnei ki te mōrearea, ā, me tirotiro, me tirotirohia rānei. Anei te tikanga o ēnei āhuatanga mō tō marena:

• Kei te tata te whakakorikori i tō marena: Ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, tera pea he tohu kei te anga atu tō kōrua marena ki ngā wai pōrearea. Kua tae hoki te wā kia kitea e koe te take o tana mahi i tēnei.
• He hoha, he kore rānei tō oranga moepuku: Tērā pea he tohu tēnei mō te korenga o te makona ki te moepuku i roto i tō marena, kei a koe rānei tētahi te marena kore me tirotirohia tēnā
• Kāore āna hiahia e tutukihia ana: Haunga te moe tāne, tera pea ka hiahia te tāne ki tana hoa hei whakaoho i ōna hiahia hinengaro, hiahia kare ā-roto rānei. Mena kei te kōrero ia ki tētahi atu wahine, tera pea kāore tō mārenatanga e whakarato ana i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e ia, pērā i te kōrero whakahihiri hinengaro mō ngā pukapuka, ngā whakaaturanga pouaka whakaata, me tētahi tirohanga rerekē ki te ao. Nō reira, tera pea ka kite koe i ngā tohu kei te tinihanga tō tāne i roto i ōna kare ā-roto.
• Me nui ake te aro atu ki tō marena: Kāore te marena e hiahiatia kia waiho hei rārangi arowhai mō ngā mea me mahi me ngā mea kāore e mahi. I ētahi wā, me whai wā tātou ki te whakarongo ki ō tātou hoa. Mena kei te kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, tera pea me nui ake te aro o tō hoa me tō marena.

12 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Ina Kōrero Tāu Tāne Ki Tētahi Atu Wahine

Ahakoa te kino o tā rāua hononga, ko te noho mai o tētahi atu wahine ki te ao o tāu tāne ka pā kino ki tō kōrua marena. Ina kōrero tāu tāne ki tētahi atu wahine i mua i a koe, ina whakamōhio mai rānei i a koe mō te tūtaki ki a ia, tera pea kāore he mea hei manukanuka māu. Ki te kore rātou e huna ana i muri i a koe, ka taea e koe te okioki mārie he whanaungatanga pumau tonu tāu.

Engari ki te kite koe i tāu tāne e kōrero ana ki tētahi atu wahine, he tika tonu ō kare ā-roto hae, ā-roto koretake rānei, nā te mea, i roto i te marena, e tumanakohia ana ko ngā hoa rangatira te tangata hei tautoko i a rāua mō ā rāua hiahia katoa. He mea whakararuraru te tukunga e tāu tāne i tētahi wāhanga o taua tūranga ki tētahi atu.

I ngā wā tino kino, ka arahi pea ēnei taunekeneke ki ngā hononga kare ā-roto, ā-ira tangata rānei. Nō reira, āe, he mea nui pea! Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakahaere i te āhuatanga me te ngākau aroha e tika ana. Anei ngā mea 12 hei mahi ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine:

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1. Akohia ngā mea katoa e taea ana e koe mō tēnei wahine kē

Ahakoa he tāne kua moe tāne e tuku karere ana ki tētahi atu wahine, he wahine rānei e haere ana ki te tūtaki ki a ia, hei wahine māna, me rapu e koe ngā mōhiohio katoa mōna. Anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi:

• Mena he tangata kua mōhio kē koe – he hoa wahine tawhito nō tō tāne, he hoa mahi, he hoa, he wahine rānei nō tō hoa – ngana ki te mōhio pai ake ki a ia mā te kōrero tika ki a ia, mā te pātai atu rānei (engari mā te ātaahua)
• Ki te kore koe e mōhio ki a ia, ko te huarahi pai ko te pātai tika atu ki tō tāne mōna.
• I a koe e mahi ana, kia tino aro ki tana tauhohenga. Ka pai ia ki te whakautu i ō pātai mēnā kāore he mea e huna ana e ia. Ki te riri ia, ā, ka riri ki a koe, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu kei te takaro kino tō tāne i muri i a koe.
• Kia mōhio ki tāna reo tinana hoki. Ki te whakakiki tōna kauae, ā, ka mā tōna mata, tera pea kei te huna e tō tāne tetahi mea

Ko Edith, he wahine kāinga kei te tata ki te 30 tau te pakeke, e kōrero ana i tana wheako: "Nā te kore mōhio he aha taku tāne i whai ai i tētahi atu wahine i ara ake ai ahau mō ngā pō maha. Hei whakamutunga, i taku tūtakitanga ki a ia, ka kōrero mai ia i tētahi kōrero mō tana tūtakitanga ki tētahi hoa tawhito i ēnei rā tata nei. I ngana ia ki te whakatenatena i ahau kāore he kino, ā, ko ngā hoa tokorua anake e tūtaki ana. Engari kāore i taea e ia te titiro ki ōku kanohi. Nā aku pātai i akiaki i a ia, me whakaae ia i haere ia ki ētahi wā ki tēnei wahine. Kei te ngana māua ki te ora ake i tēnei raruraru, engari he tino uaua nā te mea kei te ruarua tonu ōna whakaaro."

2. Ngāna kia kite i ngā mea mai i tana tirohanga

Kāo, ehara mātou i te kī "ka noho tāne tonu ngā tāne" me te whakaae noa ki te kōrero a tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine. Engari i mua i tō tīmatanga ki te ruarua i a ia, ki te whakapae rānei i a ia mō te kore pono ki a koe, whakaarohia tēnei:

• Tērā pea kei te kōrero noa ia ki tētahi hoa
• Tērā pea kei te hiahia te wahine ki tāu tāne, ā, kāore pea ia e mōhio ki ōna kare ā-roto

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I tuhituhi mai tētahi kaipānui, a Maya, ki a mātou mō tētahi āhuatanga ōrite. I kite ia he mārama te aroha o te hoa pai o tana hoa rangatira ki a ia i tōna tamarikitanga. Heoi, te āhua nei kāore ia i kite i ngā tohu ahakoa tōna āhua rohe ki a Maya. Ahakoa i muri i tā rāua marena, i haere tonu te whakahoahoa, ā, ka tīmata a Maya ki te whakaaro, "Me aha koe ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine?"

I te tīmatanga o te waea tere a te wahine ki te tono kia noho ia ki tōna taha nā te mea e mokemoke ana ia i roto i tana marena, ka kite te tāne a Maya i te tuhituhi i runga i te pakitara. Nā rāua tahi, ka taea e rāua te wikitoria i tēnei arai i roto i te whanaungatanga.

3. Kia mārama ki te horopaki o te kōrero

I mua i te tuku i te taniwha o te koretake ki te kai i a koe, ngana ki te mārama ki ngā āhuatanga o tā rāua whārite. He hoa mahi e tuku karere kuputuhi ana tō tāne, e kōrero waea ana rānei ki a ia? Mā te tango i ngā āhuatanga o te ira tangata mai i te whārite, me te titiro ki a rāua hei hoa mahi e rua e kōrerorero pai ana. Anei ētahi atu mea ka taea e koe te mahi:

• Me whakahaere e koe ō mataku kei ngaro ia i a ia, kei whakatupu rānei i te mauahara. Mā tēnei ka āhua pōuriuri noa iho koe.
• Te arotahi ki ngā huarahi hei whakapai ake i te korero i roto i tō marena, kia taea ai e kōrua te whakapuaki i ngā āhuatanga o tō kōrua oranga kāore kōrua, tō hoa rangatira rānei e whai wāhi atu ana. Nō reira, ki te mea he hoa mahi tāna e kōrero ana, me whakamārama mai e ia ki a koe me te kore koe e hiahia ki te tirotiro haere

Kia rongo tātou i ngā kōrero a taku hoa a Dorothy mō te whakapai ake i te whanaungatanga o rāua ko tana tāne i muri i te 20 tau o tā rāua marena mā te whai wāhi ki ngā kōrero tuwhera. E mea ana ia, "He kaiako ahau, ā, he kaimahi hanga whare taku tāne. Kāore au i aro nui ki ngā āhuatanga hangarau o tana mahi. Nō reira, i tana tīmatanga ki te tūtaki ki tētahi wahine miihini taitamariki e toru ngā wā i te wiki mō ngā haerenga ki te papaanga, i mataku ahau. Whai muri i ētahi pakanga kino, ka tūtaki māua ki te ngākau, ā, ka meinga ahau e ia kia mōhio ko au tonu te 'tino' mōna."

4. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō

Ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, ka waiho pea koe e raru ana i ngā kare ā-roto o te koretake me te ruarua i a koe anō. Tērā pea ka pau ngā hāora ki te kimi i ngā hapa i roto i a koe anō. Anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi:

• Kia maumahara, ahakoa te āhua me te hohonutanga o tā rāua hononga, kāore koe e whai he mō tētahi o aua mea.
• Kaua e noho roa i roto i ngā whakaaro whakaiti i a koe anō, engari arotahi ki te whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga ki a ia
• Whakaaroaro ki te aha te korenga o tō whanaungatangaKātahi, me mahi ki te whakatipu i aua āhuatanga me te whakakī i ngā āputa.
• Kaua e mahi i tetahi mea hei pana atu i te wahine kē, engari me mahi nā te mea e hiahia pono ana koe ki te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga ora.

5. Tirohia te pūtake o te āhuatanga

Ki te kore e taea e koe te karo i te kite i ngā tohu e aroha ana tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, e whakaaro ana rānei koe kei te whakawehi tō marena i tana hononga ki tēnei wahine, ngana ki te rapu i te pūtake o te take. Ina hoki, ki te kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, me mārama koe ki te āhua o te whanaungatanga o tō tāne ki a ia, te auau o tā rāua kōrero, me ērā atu mea. Mā tēnei māramatanga ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakamarie i ō āwangawanga, ka mōhio rānei koe ki te taumaha o te āhuatanga.

Ki te kitea e koe he hoa pono tāne-wahine tō rāua , ka āwhina i a koe kia marino. I tētahi atu taha, ki te kitea e koe he kare ā-roto hohonu kei roto, ka pai ake tō tūnga ki te aro atu ki te raruraru. Kia mōhio koe, tera pea kei te pāngia ia e te mate tāne pōuri.

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6. Kaua e ārahi ki ngā whakapae

I kitea e Hannah, he hoa mahi nōku, te kōrero a tana tāne, a Stewart, ki tētahi atu wahine i ngā wā katoa. I tūpono noa ia ki tētahi kōrerorero, ā, i muri mai ka kitea kua mukua. I tana whakahē i a ia, ka whakakahore ia i tētahi wahine pērā i roto i tōna ao. I tino whakapono ia, "Kua teka taku tāne mō tana kōrero ki tētahi atu wahine. Me tinihanga ia ki ahau."

I te tau i muri mai, ka kitea e ia kei te whakapā atu tana tāne ki tana hoa o mua. Engari hei āwhina i a ia ki te puta atu i tana marena tukino. Ahakoa kāore a Stewart i tinihanga i a Hannah, kua pāngia te whakawhirinaki i waenganui i a rāua i taua wā, nā te mea i whakaaro a Hannah kei te tinihanga a Stewart i a ia.

Mō tēnei, e kī ana te tohunga hinengaro tohutohu a Nandita Rambhia, "He mea nui kia tino mōhio kei te haere tonu tetahi mea, ā, kua tinihanga tō hoa i a koe i tētahi ara, i tētahi ara rānei, i mua i te whakapae i a ia, i te wahine rānei." Koinei te mea ka taea e koe te mahi rerekē:

• He mea nui kia kōrero koe ki tāu tāne mō tēnei mea wahine atu e tata ana ia ki te mahi, me āta whakaaro koe ki te take
• Kaua e tīmata ki te whakapae i a koe mō te tinihanga. Ka whakarērea noa ia e ia.
• Ki te kore ōna kare ā-roto aroha, ā-pūmau rānei ki tēnei wahine, ka tino tūpono koe ki te whara i a ia mēnā ka whakapae koe i a ia, i te wahine rānei mō te moe tāne.

7. Kōrerotia ō kare ā-roto ki tō tāne

Kei te whakaaro koe me aha koe ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, ā, kāore koe i te pai ki tēnā? Nā te mea kei te aro atu koe ki te take, me kī atu ki tō tāne ko tana hononga ki tētahi atu wahine ka meinga koe kia kore e pai, ā, ka huri koe hei tangata hae. Me kī atu ki a ia e kite ana koe i tā rāua taunekeneke hei tohu kei te hiahia tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine.

Me anga whakamua ki te whakatau i te raruraru mā te aro atu ki ō kare ā-roto tūturu. He pai te noho ngoikore i mua i te tāne e arohaina nuitia ana e koe. Ki te kore he mea e tunua ana i waenganui i a rāua, ā, ka kite tō tāne i te nui o tō pānga ki a koe, tera pea ka hoki whakamuri ia.

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8. Whakamahia te huarahi tatari-me-mātakitaki

I muri i tā kōrua kōrero, kaua e tatari kia puta he merekara i roto i te pō kotahi. Ina kite koe i tāu tāne e kōrero ana ki tētahi atu wahine, tera pea ka whakanuia ia e ia hei hoa, hei hoa whakawhirinaki rānei (ahakoa kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a ia i te taha aroha, i te taha moepuku rānei). Tērā pea kāore e taea e ia te whakakore wawe i taua aroha. Anei tāu e mea ai:

• Kaua e tatari, kaua hoki e akiaki i a ia kia motuhia tonutia tana hononga ki a ia
• Ki te mutu tana kōrero ki a ia nā te pēhanga mai i a koe, ka tīmata pea ia ki te riri ki a koe mō tēnā, ā, ka arahi atu ki ētahi atu raruraru marena
• Kia manawanui, kia hoatu he wā ki a ia kia hoki mai

9. Tonoa kia whai wāhi mai

Mena kei te tuku karere tāu tāne kua moe tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, kei te tūtaki rānei ki a ia i ngā wā katoa, me whai wāhi nui ia ki tōna ao. Hei hoa rangatira mōna, he tika rawa kia hiahia koe ki te hanga hononga ki tētahi tangata tino nui ki a ia. Whakaarohia te whakaaro ki te karanga i tēnei wahine ki te kāinga mō te inu, ki te haere tahi rānei ki te tina. Anei ngā mea ka tupu i muri mai:

• Ki te kore he mea e hunaia ana e tāu tāne, me whakaae ia
• Ki te kore ia e pai ki tēnei whakaaro, ka taea e koe te pānui hei tētahi o ngā ngā tohu kei te moe tāne koe ā, ehara i te mea he hoa noa iho ki a ia

Ki te whakaae tō tāne ki te whakamōhio i a koe ki a ia, ki te hiahia rānei koe kia noho tahi kōrua, waiho te hae me te māharahara ki te tatau, ka ngana ki te whakatū hononga pai ki a ia. Ā, ki te whakahē rawa ia i tō whakaaro, kua tae ki te wā kia kōrero nui kōrua mō te tūranga o tēnei wahine i roto i tōna ao.

10. Hoatu he wā ki a ia ki te whakamārama

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro tonu koe me aha koe ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, kaua e hanga i ō ake whakaaro mō tā rāua whārite me te kore e whakarongo ki tāu tāne e kōrero ana. Kaua hoki e whakaaro koinei tētahi o ngā tohu e hiahia ana tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine. Ngāna kia kitea he aha te mea i akiaki i a ia ki te rapu aro me te whakamarie i tētahi wahine ehara i te wahine nāna. Anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi:

• Ahakoa tō whakapono ki te meka he tohu ēnei e whakapono ana tō tāne tinihanga ā-hinengaro mēnā he hononga nui tōmua tō rāua, hoatu he wā ki a ia ki te kōrero i tana taha o te kōrero ki a koe
• Whakarongo atu ki a ia, kaua e whakahē, kaua hoki e whakahāwea
• Ngāna kia kaua e riri nui, kia kaua hoki e totohe

He raruraru kei mua i a koe, ā, ko te whāinga kia kitea he otinga mō tēnei raruraru, kaua e whakararuraru rawa.

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11. Tūhurahia ngā hapa o tō marena

E mea ana a Nandita, "He wāhanga noa iho te wahine kē atu o te raruraru, engari ehara i te pūtake." Ki te kite koe i tō tāne e tuku karere ana ki tētahi atu wahine, e kōrero ana rānei ki a ia, ko te take pea he pakaru kei roto i tō kōrua hononga marena. Ahakoa he ngāwari te whakawhiti whakapae me te riri mā te whakaaro tonu, "He pai ake taku tāne ki te wahine kē atu", ko te mea tino me mahi e koe ko te arotahi ki ngā take matua o tō kōrua marena, me te tirotiro mēnā kei te whakaatu ia i ngā tohu o te mate tāne pouri. Pātai atu ki a koe anō ēnei pātai:

• Kua wehe kē koe i roto i te wā?
• Kei te tūpono mai rānei ēnei kare ā-roto o te mamae, o te riri rānei, ki roto i tō kōrua marena?
• He he te take o te kore whanaungatanga he māramatanga rānei kei te takaro i konei?

Me titiro koe ki roto hei whakakore i tēnei raruraru o waho e mōrearea ana ki tō marena.

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12. Kōwhiria te rongoā

Ina aro atu tāu tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, ka taea e kōrua te noho wehe kē. Tērā pea ka pā kino tēnei ki tō kōrua heke mai. Hei whakaora i tō kōrua marena, whakaarohia te haere ki te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Ka taea e tētahi tohunga ngaio whakangungu te āwhina i a koe ki te whakahaere i ō raruraru kia pai ake i tō kōrua ake. Mēnā kāore anō koe kia mōhio me pēhea te tīmata, kei konei ngā tohunga me ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro o Bonobology hei tautoko i a koe.

Ina aro atu tāu tāne ki tētahi atu wahine, tera pea he mea whakamataku, he mea kore rānei. Tūhurahia ngā āhuatanga katoa o tā rāua hononga, kia marino, kia aro atu hoki ki te raruraru me te whai tikanga. Mā te pakeketanga me te ngākau aroha, ka taea e kōrua te puta atu i roto i te raruraru me te kore e whara hei tokorua. Ā, ki te whakaaro kōrua kāore e taea te whakatika i ngā mea, kaua e mangere ki te puta atu i te āhuatanga uaua.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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