Zinthu 9 Zofunika Kuzikumbukira Mukamakangana Ndi Mamuna Wa Narcissistic

Narcissism ndi imodzi mwamakhalidwe ovuta kwambiri kuthana nawo ndikukangana ndi mwamuna wamatsenga vuto lalikulu kwa mnzake. Osati kokha kuti ma narcissists ndi ankhanza komanso ovuta, koma kusintha kwa umunthu wawo kumadaliranso kuti akhale odzidalira kwambiri. Odziganizira okha, amakhulupirira kuti salakwitsa. Izi zimawapangitsa kuti atsekeredwe pakudziwonetsa kulikonse komanso kudzidzudzula.

Chinthu chomaliza chomwe akufuna kumva kuchokera kwa wina ndikuti akhoza kulakwitsa, kapena kuipitsitsa, akusowa thandizo. Izi zimachotsa kufalikira konse kwa kudzikweza kwa narcissist. Zotsatira zake, wokondedwa wawo nthawi zonse amakakamizika kupanga masinthidwe. Ngati mupeza kuti muli paubwenzi ndi munthu amene sabwerera m'mbuyo mkangano, yemwe samawona maganizo anu, amene samanyalanyaza, mwinamwake mwakhala mukuchita ndi narcissist.

Mlangizi Ridhi Golechha (Masters in Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa maukwati opanda chikondi, kutha kwa mabanja, ndi nkhani zina zokhudzana ndi ubale, anatilankhula pankhaniyi ndipo anatiuza momwe mungadziwire munthu wodzikonda, chifukwa chake ali momwe alili, komanso zomwe muyenera kukumbukira mukakumana ndi mwamuna wodzikonda.

Kodi Narcissists Amachita Bwanji Mkangano?

Kuzindikira munthu wodzikonda, kapena kuzindikira zizolowezi za wokondedwa wanu ndi sitepe yoyamba yodziteteza. Ridhi akuti, "Munthu wodzikonda nthawi zonse amakhala ndi chilakolako chofuna kukondedwa ndi kuyamikira anthu omwe ali pafupi naye, popanda kusonyeza chifundo kwa munthu winayo." Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la Narcissistic Personality Disorder nthawi zambiri amasonyeza zizindikiro izi:

• Kudzitamandira kwambiri
• Wokhudzika kwambiri ndi ma egos osalimba
• Mokokomeza zimene akwaniritsa
• Kudziyesa woposa ena/ Kunyoza ena ngati otsika
• Khalani opanda chifundo ndi ena
• Onetsani khalidwe lachinyengo

Ridhi akulongosola momveka bwino kuti ngakhale kuti “ndi chibadwa cha munthu kukhala wodzikonda komanso wodzitamandira pamlingo winawake, munthu wodzikonda amatengera zinthu zambiri”. Akutchula njira zingapo zodzitamandira kuti akuthandizeni kumvetsetsa machitidwe a mnzanu. Mukakangana ndi mnzanu wodzikonda, samalani ndi zizindikiro izi :

• Narcissistic Rage: Narcissists amakonda kusonyeza mkwiyo m'njira ziwiri. Akhoza kuphulika mokwiya, kukuwa, kukuwa, kapena kusonyeza khalidwe lachiwawa. Kapena angayambe kuchita zinthu mwaukali, monga kunena mawu achipongwe ndi kukukwiyirani kapena kukuchitirani inu mwakachetechete.
• Saladi ya Mawu: Zomwe akunena sizimveka. Adzakuponyerani mawu ndi ziganizo mwachisawawa. Adzalankhula mozungulira kuti ziganizozo zikhale zosagwirizana ndikuyesera kusuntha chikhomo
• kuyatsa gasi: Akhoza kukaniratu khalidwe lawo. Amayesa kukutsimikizirani kuti simukudziwa zomwe mukunena
• Narcissists amatsutsa kusintha: Amayesa kukunyengererani pokubwezerani. Angakukumbutseni zolakwa zanu zakale, zenizeni kapena zopeka, kukupangani kukhala munthu woyipa mkangano
• Kusuntha positi: Adzagwiritsa ntchito njira iliyonse yomwe ili pamwambayi kapena njira zina kuti asokoneze chidwi chawo ku khalidwe lawo loipa. Mukangofika pomwe mukuyesera kupanga ndikugunda cholinga, chikhomo chimasunthidwa kupita kwina

Njira zopezerera za Narcissists ndizosavuta kuzindikira. Mutha kuyang'ananso momwe mungayankhire malingaliro anu kuti muone ngati amene mukuchita naye ndi narcissist.

• Kodi mumangowazungulira?
• Kodi mumawapepesa nthawi zonse?
• Kodi mukuchita mantha?
• Kodi mumatsutsidwa nthawi zonse?
• Kodi mukuwonetsa khalidwe lodzikayikira?
• Kodi ndewu zonse zimakupangitsani kukayikira ngati linali vuto lanu?

Ngati munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti, "Kodi anthu osokoneza bongo amakonda mikangano?", Izi ziyenera kuyankha. Mayankho anu ku mafunsowa ndi chizindikiro chakuti muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wa narcissist. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kumvetsetsa komwe khalidweli limachokera.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Narcissists Amakonda Kukangana?

Narcissists ali ndi kudzidalira kotsika kwambiri komanso kufooka. Amagwiritsidwa mwala mosavuta ngati kufunikira sikukuperekedwa kwa iwo. Izi zikutifikitsa ku funso lofunika kwambiri - koma chifukwa chiyani? N’chifukwa chiyani anthu okonda kunyozana amakonda kukangana? Kumvetsetsa izi kungakuthandizeni kuyang'ana munthuyo moyenera ndikumvetsetsa zofooka za munthu wamatsenga ndi njira zotsutsana. Izi zikuthandizani kuti muzitha kuwalamulira ndikuphunzira kuyankha mwamuna wa narcissist:

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1. Khalidwe lawo lachipongwe lili m'manja mwawo

Khalidwe la munthu wodzikonda kwambiri silingathe kulamulidwa ndi iwo ndipo lingathe kuyendetsedwa kokha ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo wovomerezeka. Munthu wodzikonda kwambiri pamkangano amalimbana ndi mphamvu zokhazikika, amangoganizira za momwe akumvera panopa. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe anthu odzikonda kwambiri sangathe kusunga ubale wapamtima . Amasowa chomwe chimatchedwa kukhazikika kwa chinthu kapena kukhazikika kwa chinthu.

Kukhazikika kwa chinthu ndi lingaliro lakuti chinachake chilipo ngakhale pamene simungachiwone kapena kuchimva. Anthu, mwachibadwa, amapeza luso limeneli. Kuchokera kumalingaliro amalingaliro, zomwe izi zikutanthauza kwa munthu wamatsenga ndikuti, mosiyana ndi anthu ena, sangathe kugwiritsitsa malingaliro awo abwino pa ubale wawo pomwe akumva zowawa monga kupwetekedwa mtima, kukwiya kapena kukhumudwa.

Ridhi anati: “Ngati anthu okondana narciss satha kuzindikira chikondi panthaŵiyo, amaiŵala kuti chinalipo.

2. Zakale zawo zikhoza kukhala zofooka za munthu wamatsenga

Munthu wodzikonda kwambiri angakhale ndi moyo wakale womwe unamupangitsa kukhala ndi zizolowezi zimenezi. Khalidwe lake loipa likhoza kukhala chifukwa cha malo oopsa omwe adakumana nawo kale, mwina ali mwana pomwe sanapatsidwe chisamaliro chokwanira. Momwe munaleredwera zimakhudza kwambiri ubale wanu.

Ridhi anati: “Munthu akakhala paubwenzi wapoizoni m’mbuyomo kapena akakulira m’malo oopsa, akhoza kukhala ndi zizolowezi zoipa zodzitetezera.” Zimenezi zingachitike ngakhale pamene munthu wakhala wotomeredwa mopitirira muyeso, kusamaliridwa mopambanitsa, ndi kutetezedwa mopambanitsa. Mukapeza kuti mukuchita ndi mwamuna wa narcissist, kudziwa izi kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi zovuta bwino.

3. Amaganiza kuti nthawi zonse amakhala olondola

Kwa narcissist, kusagwirizana kulikonse kumabweretsa mkangano. Popeza sabwerera m'mbuyo, nthawi zonse amafuna kukhala ndi mawu omaliza, osanyengerera, kukambirana kulikonse ndi bomba lomwe likudikirira kuphulika. Amadziona kuti ndi apamwamba kuposa aliyense wowazungulira, ndichifukwa chake amakana kupindika.

Ubale pakati pa anthu awiri aliyense sungakhalepo popanda kukangana kulikonse. Ndipo pamene mmodzi wa anthu aŵiriwo ali wolephera kufika pa malo apakati amtendere, ziyenera kutsogoza ku zochitika zotsatizana za kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, nkhanza, ndi kuzunza mnzakeyo. Koma ngati mumakumbukira zinthu zingapo pokangana ndi mwamuna wankhanza, mutha kudzipulumutsa nokha ku zowawa zambiri ndi zowawa.

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Zinthu 9 Zofunika Kuzikumbukira Mukamakangana Ndi Mamuna Wa Narcissistic

Tsopano popeza mukudziwa yemwe ali narcissist ndikumvetsetsa pang'ono zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti azichita momwe amachitira, mutha kuchitapo kanthu poyankha mnzanu wapoizoni ndikudziteteza ku kupwetekedwa mtima kwanthawi yayitali komanso zipsera. Ridhi amalimbikitsa zida ndi njira zotsatirazi kuti muteteze malingaliro anu ndikusunga nthawi ndi mphamvu zanu mukamagwira narcissist pakukangana:

1. Sinthani zomwe mukuyembekezera kapena pangani chisankho

Ridhi akunena kuti muyenera kuzindikira kuti muli ndi mwayi wosankha. Amakulimbikitsani kuti muzindikire kuti pali kuthekera kuti mwamuna wanu sangasinthe khalidwe lake loipa. Iye anawonjezera kuti: “Ngati muli pachibwenzi chifukwa chongoganiza kuti asintha, ndiye kuti mukukumana ndi mavuto ambiri.

Muyenera kupeza thandizo poyesa kuopsa kwa ubale wanu ndipo ngati kuli koyenera kuchitapo kanthu. Choncho, pangani chisankho. Ngati mwaganiza zokhala ndi mwamuna wamwano, malingaliro otsatirawa angakhale othandiza kwa inu.

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2. Khazikitsani malire omveka bwino

Ridhi amagogomezera kwambiri kufunika kwa malire pa thanzi lanu la maganizo. Iye anati, “Mwamuna wanu mwina adzafuna kulamulira chilichonse muukwati. Muyenera kuganizira momwe mungakhalire ndi malire amalingaliro kuti muteteze thanzi lanu la maganizo.” Amanenanso malingaliro angapo apadera.

“Mungadziŵitse mwamuna wanu kuti ngati ayamba kukutchulani mayina, makambitsiranowo atha ndipo mudzachokapo,” iye akufotokoza motero. Chitsanzo china cha malire chingakhale kuika patsogolo kukhala ndi nthawi yokhala nokha ndi maukonde anu othandizira, abwenzi, ndi abale. Ndi chenjezo lakuti mwamuna wanu sangakonde mukakhala ndi mabwenzi, Ridhi akuwonjezera kuti: “Kudzipatula kungakhale mtundu wa nkhanza zamaganizo ndipo n’kofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi chichirikizo champhamvu m’moyo wanu.”

3. Osamuuza kuti walakwa pokangana ndi mwamuna wamwano

Chiyerekezo cha narcissist's moral gauge kuti amvetsetse chabwino ndi cholakwika ndi chododometsa kwambiri. Popeza umunthu umakhala pa kudzikuza komanso chilungamo, munthu wamatsenga amakhulupirira kuti nthawi zonse amakhala olondola. Mosapeweka, zimakhala zopanda pake kuwauza kuti akulakwitsa.

Mukakangana ndi mwamuna wanu wankhanza, ndiye kuti mukumuuza kuti akulakwitsa. Ridhi anati: “Ngati mukufuna kuwongolera zinthu, musayembekezere kumugonjetsa poyesa kuwachititsa kuzindikira amene ali ndi mlandu. M'malo mwake, chitani zomwe zikutsatira pamfundo yotsatira.

4. Kumvera ena chisoni kungakuthandizeni kuchepetsa mkangano ndi munthu amene amamwa mowa mwauchidakwa

Popeza anthu odzikonda amakonda kusangalala akamamvetsera, kugwiritsa ntchito chifundo mukamakangana ndi munthu wodzikonda kungakhale njira yothandiza. Ridhi akuti, "Yankhani mwamuna wodzikonda pomuuza kuti mukumvetsa ndi kumvetsetsa momwe akumvera. Kuphatikiza apo, m'malo mogwiritsa ntchito Inu kapena Ine, gwiritsani ntchito Ife. Kusinthana kwa anthu odzikonda ndi kofala, koma angayankhe bwino ngati mugwiritsa ntchito chilankhulo cha "ife".

Mwamuna wanu wamatsenga akamamva kuti akumvetsetsa, mlonda wake akhoza kutsika kwakanthawi ndipo mutha kukhala ndi mwayi woti mumve. Kugwiritsa ntchito chifundo poyankha munthu wokwiya narcissist kungakupangitseni kukhala ndi chokumana nacho chosiyana.

5. Osatengera nyambo pokangana ndi munthu wamatsenga

Ridhi anachenjeza kuti: “Pamene mukukangana ndi mwamuna wamwano, yembekezerani kuti mwamunayo anene zinthu zodzutsa chilakolako chogonana, zotukwana, ndiponso zonyansa chifukwa chakuti amangofuna kutero. Kukwiyitsaku kumatha kukhala kochitachita kapena kungokhala chete, mwachitsanzo, ngati akupatsirani mawu osalankhula, musamve ngati mukukakamizika kuyankha. Mukayamba kukangana podziwa zomwe mungakumane nazo, simukhala ochitapo kanthu komanso olamulira.

Izi, zachidziwikire, zimakuthandizani kuti muteteze malingaliro anu ndikukhala chete komanso zimapatsa mwamuna wanu wamatsenga kuganiza kuti mulibe nkhawa. Izi zingamupangitse kuti asatengeke ndi kutchula mayina chifukwa sizikuwoneka ngati zikugwira ntchito kapena kumupangitsa kumva kuti akumverani chisoni. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, zimathandiza kuthetsa chisokonezo chake ndikukupatsani nthawi yoti mutuluke mkanganowo.

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6. Dziwani machenjerero a mkangano wa narcissist

Kodi narcissists amakonda mikangano? Iwo ndithudi amatero. Narcissists ali ndi luso logwiritsa ntchito njira zopambana mikangano ndikupeza zomwe akufuna. Izi zitha kukhala kuti akuchita mwangozi chifukwa amalumikizidwa kuti adziteteze popanda kumvera ena chisoni. Mutha kusamala za mwamuna wanu kwambiri, koma ndikofunikira kudzipatula paubwenzi kwa mphindi imodzi ndikumuwona ngati mutu.

Izi zikuthandizani kuzindikira njira zomwe amagwiritsa ntchito kuti akufikireni, zomwe zingaphatikizepo kugwetsa miyala, kugwetsa mpweya, kupotoza maganizo, kusokoneza maganizo, kukwiya kwambiri, kuwonetsa zinthu, ndi kuphulitsa chikondi. Munthu wodzikuza pamkangano angagwiritse ntchito chilichonse mwa izi, ngati si zonse, kuti apindule nazo. Pezani nthawi yophunzira kuti muwazindikire. Mwachitsanzo, kudziwa mawu ofala ofotokozera zinthu kungakuthandizeni kulamulira mkhalidwewo ndikuchotsa mphamvu kwa munthu wodzikuza.

7. Konzekerani yankho lokhazikika pa mkangano

Ngati mwasankha kukhala ndi mnzanu wa narcissist, muyenera kukonzekera kuthana ndi zonse zomwe angakuponyeni. Mukakonzekera bwino, mumakhalanso ndi mphamvu zambiri pa yankho lanu. Kuyankha kodziwikiratu kuphulika kwawo kodziwikiratu kungakhale njira yothandiza komanso yothandiza. Mwanjira iyi, pochita ndi mwamuna wamwano, mutha kuyika malingaliro anu ndikutuluka mwakachetechete kukangana.

Izi sizimangothandiza kuchotsa mphamvu kwa munthu wodzikonda komanso kutulutsa mkwiyo wanu kuti musasunge mkwiyo m'banja . Chinachake chonga ichi: "Ndikuona kuti mwakhumudwa. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikumvetsa momwe mukumvera. Koma mkwiyo wanu umandipwetekanso. Ndikufunika kudziteteza, kotero ndituluka pompano. Tikhoza kukambirana za izi limodzi mukakhala bata ndipo mutha kufotokoza bwino zomwe mukunena."

8. Osadzikayikira

Narcissists amakula bwino pamalingaliro achifundo a ena. Kukoma mtima kwanu, kulolerana kwanu, ndi kuchedwerako kwanu ndi zomwe zimawapangitsa kudalira inu kaamba ka kufunikira kwawo kosiyidwa nthawi zonse, kuyamikiridwa, ndi chikondi. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simuyenera kuwapatsa chigonjetso ndi chikondi chanu koma samalani kuti musamavutike ndi kawonedwe kanu ka malingaliro anu.

Pamene mukukangana ndi mnzanu wopupuluma, musakhulupirire pamene mukutchedwa "wokhudzidwa kwambiri" kapena "wotengeka maganizo kwambiri" kapena ngakhale kudzikonda posamalira zosowa zanu. Chenjerani ndi zinthu zonyansa zofananira zomwe anthu amalankhula pokangana. Osalora kutengeka kapena kupusitsidwa ndi kukayikira zachibadwa chanu.

9. Sankhani nkhondo zanu

Taganizirani izi: Kodi n'koyenera kukangana ndi munthu wodzikonda nthawi zonse? Kukhala ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kungakhale kotopetsa mumtima . Ngati mnzanuyo akana kusiya kapena kugwirizana pa nthawi ya kusamvana, n'zoonekeratu kuti izi zingayambitse mikangano yambiri pakati pa inu nonse.

Njira imodzi yodzitetezera ndiyo kusankha nkhondo zomwe muyenera kuzinyalanyaza komanso zoti mumenye. Kukangana ndi mwamuna wamwano si vuto. Chifukwa chake, phunzirani kuzindikira kuti ndi mfundo ziti zomwe zili zosafunikira kapena zazing'ono ndikusunga mphamvu ndi malingaliro anu pazomwe zili zofunika kwambiri kwa inu ndi ubale wanu. Pochita ndi narcissist, gwiritsani ntchito chisankho ichi kuti muteteze.

Kuphunzira kupirira ubwenzi wotero si kophweka. Koma zimenezi ziyenera kukuthandizani kumvetsa mmene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wonyodola amaganizira komanso chifukwa chake amalimbana ndi mmene amachitira. Ndizotheka kudziteteza ku mkwiyo wa narcissist podzikonzekeretsa nokha ndi chidziwitso choyenera ndi zida zokuthandizani kuti mutenge ulamuliro kutali ndi munthu wamba.

Kumbukirani: Mfundo zambirizi zikugwirizana ndi zosowa za munthu wodzikonda. Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati zosalungama, upangiriwu ndi wa munthu amene wasankha kusintha izi pazifukwa zomwe amadziwira bwino. Kuti akuthandizeni kupanga chisankho chotere, upangiri wa munthu wopereka uphungu ndi wosayerekezeka. Ridhi amalimbikitsa kwambiri chithandizo ngati mwakwatirana ndi munthu wodzikonda.

Iye anati, “Ngati mwakhala mukuzunzidwa ndi anthu ena, mwina zingakuvuteni kuzindikira kuti makhalidwe omwe amawonekera m'banja mwanu ndi osavomerezeka. Kapena, mungadzipeze mukumadzifunsa ngati ndi vuto kapena ngati mukungopanga zinthu zazikulu popanda chifukwa.” Ngati mukufuna thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

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