Zizindikiro 7 Zomwe Muli Ndi Mwamuna Wobisala Narcissist Ndi Momwe Mungapirire

Ubale ndi mnzanu yemwe akulimbana ndi vuto la umunthu ndizovuta kwambiri. Tangoganizani kuti mwakwatiwa ndi munthu wamatsenga, ndipo mukuyenda m'moyo mongoganizira monyanyira kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika kapena mukukumana ndi zotsatira zowapangitsa kudziona ngati onyozeka, obisika, obisika. Zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kuvomereza kuti ndinu osafunikira mu ubale wapamtima wa moyo wanu ngakhale mutadziwa zomwe mukukumana nazo. Kulimbanako kumachulukirachulukira pamene mukuchita ndi mwamuna wobisika wa narcissist.

Mosiyana ndi anzawo owoneka bwino (kapena owoneka bwino), omwe malingaliro awo owoneka bwino komanso odzikonda amakhala ochulukirapo pamphuno ndipo motero amakhala osavuta kuwona, narcissist wobisika amakhala wonyezimira komanso wobera pakuyandikira kwawo. Amaphunzira makhalidwe kuti atseke mosamala makhalidwe awo a narcissistic, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuti mnzawo awone mbendera zofiira mpaka mochedwa. Ngati mwayamba kukayikira kuti malingaliro ndi umunthu wa mwamuna wanu zimagwirizana ndi khalidwe lachizoloŵezi ndipo mukuyamba kugwirizanitsa mfundo za momwe izi zasinthira ubale wanu ndi kukhudza thanzi lanu lamaganizo, mukhoza kumva kuti mulibe chiyembekezo komanso mulibe chiyembekezo, makamaka ngati kuchokapo si njira.

Ngakhale kuti vutoli ndi lovuta mosakayikira, mutha kupeza njira yothanirana nalo popanda kulola kuti kudzimva kwanu kukhale kovuta kwambiri. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kwambiri pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Ashna Lahoty (Masters in Clinical Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wopereka uphungu pa matenda osiyanasiyana amisala.

Kodi Narcissist Wobisika Ndi Ndani?

Ashna akuti kuti munthu athe kumvetsetsa momwe munthu wodzikuza yekha amagwirira ntchito, amafunika kumvetsetsa za vuto la umunthu wodzikuza. Mu dikishonale ya American Psychiatric Association , kudzikuza kumatanthauzidwa ngati kudzikonda kwambiri kapena kudzikuza.

Tanthauzo ili limapereka chidziwitso cha zomwe vuto la kudzikonda limatanthauza. Ndi vuto la thanzi la maganizo lomwe limapangitsa munthu kudziona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri ndipo limasiya munthu amene wakhudzidwayo ali ndi maganizo apamwamba kwambiri pa kufunika kwake. Kusowa chifundo konse ndi chizindikiro cha vuto la kudzikonda. Zonsezi pamodzi zimapangitsa munthu wodzikonda kukhala wosakhoza kusamala kapena kumvetsetsa momwe anthu ena akumvera.

Ashna akufotokoza kuti, “Narcissist ndi liwu limene kaŵirikaŵiri limagwiritsiridwa ntchito kufotokoza za anthu amene amasonyeza mikhalidwe yachipongwe imeneyi. momwe mtundu uliwonse ukuwonetsera kunja ukhoza kusiyana.

"Kusiyana kwakukulu ndikwakuti anthu olankhula mobisa amakhala mochenjera powonetsa mikhalidwe ndi zizolowezi zachipongwe. Amatha kuwoneka ngati odzikonda, osatetezeka. Amakhala okhudzidwa ndi kutsutsidwa ndipo angasonyeze kusakondwa kwawo mwa njira zongokhalira kuchita mwankhanza. ndipo imatuluka m’njira zosaoneka bwino zobwezera.”

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Covert vs narcissism yowonekera

Zingakhale zovuta kugwirizanitsa narcissism ndi machitidwe obisika komanso obisika, poganizira za ine-woyamba momwe anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la umunthu amawonera dziko lapansi. Kuti mumvetsetse kusiyana pakati pa ziwirizi, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa kuti m'munda wa psychology, overt and covert ndi mawu omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito kugawa makhalidwe omwe ndi osavuta kuzindikira komanso omwe sawoneka bwino.

Popeza vuto la umunthu wa narcissistic limagwira ntchito pa sipekitiramu, mawonetseredwe ake amatha kusiyana malingana ndi zinthu monga umunthu ndi khalidwe. Kuti timveke bwino, tiyeni tiwone mwatsatanetsatane kusiyana pakati pa ma narcisists obisika ndi owonekera:

Ngati mungazindikire mikhalidwe yobisika iyi ndikuwona kuti mudakumana nayo mwa amuna anu, pali mwayi woti zomwe mukukayikira zili pamfundo. Kuti titsimikize, tiyeni tifufuze zizindikiro zina za khalidwe lobisa.

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7 Zizindikiro Muli Ndi Chivundikiro Narcissist Mwamuna

Ubale ndi anthu odzikonda ndi vuto, chifukwa nthawi zonse mumakhala mukuzunzidwa kwambiri chifukwa cha chikondi, kusokonezedwa ndi chikondi, kunyansidwa ndi mpweya, komanso kudzikuza . Kuzunzidwa mwamaganizo, mwanjira ina, sikungapeweke muubwenzi wodzikonda ndipo kumawononga thanzi la maganizo la wozunzidwayo.

Ngati mukuchita ndi mwamuna wonyenga, kuzindikira zizindikiro zochenjeza za umunthu umenewu kungakhale kovuta chifukwa zizindikiro monga kudzikuza, kudzikuza, ndi kufunikira kokhala ndi chidwi ndi kusilira kungakhale kulibe kapena kutchulidwa monga momwe zimakhalira ndi munthu wodzikuza. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti narcissist wobisika salakalaka zinthu izi, koma akhoza kuzifunafuna m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Kuti mumvetse momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wa narcissist ndi zizoloŵezi zobisika, muyenera kuzindikira zomwe machitidwe awo amachitira. Ashna amagawana zina mwachinsinsi za narcissist ndi zizindikilo zoyenera kusamala:

1. Mwamuna wanu amangokhalira kuchita ndewu

“Mkwiyo wongolankhula ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kunyansidwa mobisa.” Wokondedwa wanu anganene kuti “ali bwino” kapena “palibe cholakwika” pamene muona kuti akukwiyitsidwa moonekeratu ndipo sali bwino.

Zizolowezi zankhanza zopanda pakezi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la nkhanza zodzikuza zomwe cholinga chake ndi kuwononga kudzidalira kwa wozunzidwayo. "Mwamuna wanga wodzikuza amandiimba mlandu pa chilichonse. Bwanji sindingathe kuchita chilichonse bwino?" Maganizo otere a kudzikayikira angayambe kukuvutitsani mukamalankhula ndi mwamuna wodzikuza wodzikuza.

2. Ndi wansanje kwambiri

Ashna anati: “Anthu olankhula mobisa amachitira nsanje chilichonse.” Popeza kuti kudzikayikira ndiponso kusadzidalira zimawalepheretsa kuchita zimene akuganiza kuti angakwanitse, akhoza kuipidwa ndi zimene ena achita, kuphatikizapo zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo wachita.”

Kaduka kameneka kaŵirikaŵiri kamawonekera m’zimene anthu odzionetsera mobisa amanena poyankha zimene anthu ena achita:

• “N’chifukwa chiyani ukuchita zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni?”
• "Posachedwapa ndapanga XYZ, zomwe zinali zovuta kwambiri"
• "Uli ndi mwayi"
• "O, mwakwezedwa pantchito. Kodi mukuganiza kuti mutha kukwanitsa maudindo omwe amabwera ndi udindo wanu watsopanowu"

Ngati mawu olakwika ngati amenewa amakhala nthawi zonse m'banja mwanu, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mukuchita ndi mwamuna wobisika.

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3. Amachita bwino pakupanga chisokonezo

Narcissist wobisika amapangira mwamuna wowunikira gasi. Pamene sakukuimbani mlandu ndi kukuchititsani manyazi mwamwano kapena kukugwetsani pansi chifukwa chakuti amakuchitirani nsanje, adzachita bwino pokusiyani osokonezeka.

Angagwiritse ntchito mawu ena akale opangitsa kuti musamamvetse bwino zenizeni ndikukusiyani mukukayikira. Umu ndi momwe mawu awa angamvekere:

• "Sizimene ndanenazi"
• "Ndikunena izi chifukwa sudziwa chomwe chili choyenera kwa iwe"
• “Mwachita mopambanitsa”
• "Ndikunena / ndikuchita izi chifukwa ndimakukondani"
• “Ndiwe wamanyazi”
• “Ukuchita zinthu mopanda nzeru chifukwa ndiwe wansanje/osadzidalira”

Ndipo n’cifukwa ciani amacita zimenezo? Chifukwa zimamupatsa mphamvu ndikumulola kuti azitha kuyang'anira nkhaniyo ndikuwongolera ubale womwe umamuyenerera. Nkhanza za Narcissistic ndi kunyengerera ndi njira zokhotakhota zamphamvu mu ubale womwe umamukondera. Ndi kuwunikira chida chake champhamvu kwambiri pokwaniritsa cholinga chimenecho.

4. Mwamuna wanu amakhudzidwa kwambiri akamadzudzulidwa

Ngati mwakwatirana ndi munthu wodzikuza mwachinsinsi, kuwapangitsa kuona zolakwika za njira zawo popanda kuwadzudzula kapena kuwadzudzula sikofunikira chifukwa sangathe kutenga udindo. "Mungazindikire kuti mwamuna wanu ndi wokhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kudzudzulidwa. Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zake ndi chakuti munthu wodzikuza mwachinsinsi amakhulupirira kuti ndi wabwino kuposa wina aliyense," akutero Ashna.

Makhalidwe a Narcissist poyankha kutsutsidwa nthawi zambiri amakhala okhudzidwa kwambiri komanso osasunthika. Ngakhale ndemanga yaying'ono ndi yokwanira kuwapangitsa kukhala achisoni komanso okhumudwa chifukwa ngakhale ali ndi malingaliro opambanitsa a kufunikira kwawo, amadaliranso kutsimikiziridwa ndi kusilira kuchokera kwa "okondedwa" awo.

5. Moyo wanu wakugonana umakhazikika pa chisangalalo cha amuna anu

Anthu odzikuza okha samangokhala opanda chifundo komanso amakhala odzikonda kwambiri pa nkhani ya kugonana. Pamene mwamuna wanu wodzikuza mwachinsinsi anali wowolowa manja kwambiri komanso wopatsa, mudzazindikira kusintha kwa maganizo akakugonjetsani.

Adzawonetsa kufunikira kosakhutitsidwa kosilira ndikuyembekeza kuti kugonana kukhazikike pa zosangalatsa zake pomwe akukhala wodzipatula komanso wodzipatula nthawi zonse. Chizoloŵezi chimenechi chikayamba kukukhumudwitsani, adzakukwiyirani chifukwa chosachita zokwanira zomukondweretsa m’chisembwere. Zotsatira zake, ukwati wanu ukhoza kusanduka ukwati wopanda kugonana pakapita nthawi.

Ngati ndi pamene zimenezo zichitika, iye adzafulumira kukulangizani kuti mufunefune chithandizo kaamba ka kulephera kwanu kukhala naye pachibwenzi popanda kutenga thayo la mbali yake m’vutolo.

6. Samvetsetsa malire

Malire ndi nkhani zoyipa kwa wokondedwa wanu wachinsinsi chifukwa amalepheretsa kuthekera kwake kukusokonezani ndikukulamulirani. Kupatula apo, narcissism yobisika yoyendetsa khalidwe lake imamupangitsa kumva kuti ali ndi ufulu wopeza zomwe akufuna komanso nthawi yomwe akufuna. Malire nawonso amalepheretsa zimenezo.

“Chimodzi cha zizindikiro zodziŵika bwino za munthu wonyada mobisa n’chakuti samvetsa lingaliro la malire aumwini ndi kusoŵa iwo.” Ngati mwamuna wanu achita monga wozunzidwayo ndipo akudzinenera kukhala wodzipatula, ndi kukhala yekha, ndikuchita ngati kuti mwakana kukhalapo kwake m’moyo wanu nthaŵi imene mukupempha danga ndi mtunda, mukuchita ndi wogwirizira mobisa,” akutero Ashna.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake ubale ndi anthu odzikonda umayamba ndi gawo loyambitsa chibwenzi pomwe zinthu zambiri zimachitika mwachangu ngakhale musanamvetse chomwe chili. Izi zitha kubweretsa ubale wolimba. Ngakhale kukhala m'modzi ndi mnzanu kungamveke ngati lingaliro lachikondi, pamene inu nokha mukutaya umunthu wanu ndi kudziona ngati munthu payekha, ndi njira yowopsa.

7. Iye ndi wolemba mabuku wofuna chidwi

INE! INE! INE! Ndiyang'aneni, mvetserani kwa ine, ndimasirireni, lankhulani za ine, perekani zosowa zanga…Ngakhale wolankhula mobisa sangabwere pakufuna kwawo chisamaliro ndi kusilira, amachilakalaka ndi moyo wawo wonse. Ashna anati: “Zimenezi nthawi zambiri zimachititsa kuti anthu azingofuna chisamaliro.

Umu ndi momwe khalidwe la munthu wodzikuza yekha limaonekera:

• Kungokhalira kukambirana
• Kuchepetsa zomwe akwaniritsa kuti ena aziwatamanda
• Mwachisawawa amalowetsamo zomwe mwina achita kapena apeza muzokambirana kuti ayamikizidwe ndi kutamandidwa
• Kusamalira ena kokha pamene kukulitsa kufunikira kwawo kwa kudzikuza

Njira 5 Zopambana Muukwati Ndi Narcissist Wobisika

Tsopano popeza mwazindikira zizindikiro za mwamuna wodzikuza, mwina zawonetsa mavuto ambiri muubwenzi wanu. Mwachitsanzo, lingaliro lakuti "mwamuna wanga wodzikuza amandiimba mlandu pa chilichonse" silingakupangitseni kukhala osakhazikika monga kale chifukwa mukumvetsa komwe zimachokera. Kapena mungazindikire kuti mwamuna wanu wodzikuza akunena zomwe anthu odzikuza amanena kuti apitirize kulamulira ndikulamulira anzawo.

Tsopano, funso ndilakuti: mumatani ndi chidziwitso ichi? Mosakayikira, n'kosatheka kumanga ubale wabwino, wokwaniritsa ndi mnzanu wankhanza - wowonekera kapena wobisika - ndipo kuchokapo kungakhale chisankho chabwino kwambiri chodzitetezera. Koma bwanji ngati, pazifukwa zina, kuchokapo si njira yabwino? Mufunika luso lothana ndi vuto kuti muthe kuthana ndi zomwe mnzanuyo amachita.

Kuti tikuthandizeni kuwongolera zidziwitso zomwe mwapeza kumene kuti mukhale ndi luso lothana ndi vuto, tikubweretserani maupangiri 5 akatswiri amomwe mungathanirane ndi mwamuna wolumala mobisa:

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1. Ikani malire omveka bwino

Monga tanenera, anthu obisala amalimbana ndi lingaliro la malire. Koma kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino komanso kuti muthane ndi zizolowezi zawo zochitira nkhanza, ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mukhazikitse malire omveka bwino, omveka bwino mu ubalewo.

“Yambani mwa kudziikira malire abwino, kaya pakulankhulana kapena m’zosoŵa,” akulangiza motero Ashna, akumawonjezera kuti, “Komanso khalani okonzekera kukankhira kumbuyo chifukwa chakuti mwamuna wanu wonyengerera mobisa sangakonde pamene mujamba mzere mumchenga.

Musagonjere ku zovuta izi ndipo khalani olimba mtima. Nazi zitsanzo zingapo za momwe malire abwino muubwenzi ndi munthu wodzikuza angawonekere:

• Osamulola kuti azilankhula nanu mmene akufunira
• Osamulola kuti asamachite zinthu mopanda ulemu
• Kufunsa kuti malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu amveke
• Kukana ndikuumirira kuti avomereze yankho limenelo
• Kupempha malo pamene mukulifuna

2. Khalani ndi zoyembekeza zenizeni

“Kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zenizeni kungakuthandizeni kuyenda muubwenzi uwu popanda kuwononga kwambiri maganizo,” akutero Ashna. Izi zikutanthauza kuvomereza kuti munthu amene ali ndi vuto la umunthu wodzikonda sangathe kupereka chikondi, chikondi, ndi chisamaliro chofunikira kuti amange ubale wabwino.

Kuvomereza uku kudzakhala chikumbutso kuti izi sizidzakhala momwe mgwirizano wapamtima uyenera kumverera. Mukamachita zinthu mopanda malire, zimakhala zosavuta kuti mukhale naye limodzi.

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3. Pangani dongosolo lothandizira

Narcissists amachita bwino popatula omwe akuzunzidwa ndi anthu omwe ali mkati mwawo chifukwa zimagwirizana ndi kufunikira kwawo kuti azilamulira anzawo ndikuwasokoneza. Zotsatira zake, mutha kukhala osungulumwa komanso otalikirana ndi anthu omwe amakukondani moona mtima komanso amakuganizirani.

Tsopano popeza mukuwona mwamuna wanu wobisala yemwe ali, ndi nthawi yoti musinthe izi. “Pangani njira yabwino yochirikizira yomwe ingakuthandizeni kuwona bwino zinthu mukakhala mukukayika komanso osatsimikiza ngati mukugwiriridwa chifukwa ndi momwe zingakhalire zobisika,” akutero Ashna.

Choncho, lankhulani ndi achibale anu ndi anzanu apamtima, ndipo muwauze zakukhosi kwanu. Gawani zomwe mwakumana nazo ndipo muwadalire kuti akuthandizeni. Kuthana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu komanso mavuto a m'banja mwanu kungakhale kosavuta ngati muli ndi chithandizo cha okondedwa anu kuti akuthandizeni.

4. Muyitaneni kunja

Ashna akulangiza kuti, “Mukawona mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akusonyeza mikhalidwe yamwano mobisa, musonyezeni zimenezo ndi kuwasonyeza.

Komabe, onetsetsani kuti mwatenga sitepe iyi pokhapokha mutatsimikiza kuti sizikuikani m'mavuto. Ngati mukukayikira kuti mnzanuyo atha kukulitsa njira zawo zochitira nkhanza zachiwawa, ndibwino kuti mutalikirane mwakachetechete ndikudzipatula kwa iye (ngakhale mukupitiriza kukhala m'banja ndikukhala m'nyumba imodzi).

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5. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Kuyesera kumanga moyo ndikupangitsa kuti banja liziyenda bwino ndi mwamuna wolumala mobisa kuli ngati kuthamanga kukwera phiri ndi miyala yomwe imakugwerani. Muyenera kumenyedwa ndi kuvulazidwa. Ozunzidwa mwamwayi nthawi zambiri amalimbana ndi zovuta zambiri zamaganizidwe, kuyambira nkhawa mpaka kupsinjika kwapambuyo pa zoopsa (PTSD) komanso kukhumudwa kwambiri.

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuika patsogolo chisamaliro chanu ndikupeza thandizo lomwe mukufuna kuti muthane ndi mabala amtima omwe amabwera chifukwa chokhala muubwenzi uwu. Ngati mukufufuza lingaliro lofuna thandizo la akatswiri, dziwani kuti alangizi aluso komanso odziwa zambiri omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Kugawana moyo wanu ndi mwamuna wobisika wa narcissist kungakhale vuto lanu loyipa kwambiri. Palibe amene ayenera kuchitiridwa zinthu monga mmene anthu onyadira amachitira anthu pa moyo wawo. Inunso muyenera kuchita bwino. Koma ngati pazifukwa zina kudzimasula nokha ku ubalewu sichosankha, kubetcherana kwanu ndikuchita bwino pamavuto. Tikukhulupirira kuti malangizo ndi zidziwitso zomwe takupatsani zidzakuthandizani kuchita izi.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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