Zinthu 11 Zomwe Zimachitika Mzimayi Akatsekeka Pamtima - Ndi Momwe Mungalumikizirenso

Kodi bwenzi lanu likupewa zotsekemera za mushy posachedwapa? Kodi zokambirana zanu zapafoni zapakati pausiku zasiya mwadzidzidzi? Kapena amakhala kutali ndi maphwando onse ndikukuchitirani inu mwakachetechete? Kodi izo zikukhudza moyo wanu wachikondi? Mwayi wake, wina wanu wofunikira akukumana ndi kukhumudwa. Ndiye, mumatani ngati mkazi atsekereza maganizo?

Kapena kulankhulana kukatha muubwenzi? Kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti akutseka muubwenzi mwachidwi? N’chiyani chimayambitsa vutoli ndipo mungatani kuti mulithetse? Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu asamachite zinthu mwachidwi. Tipezapo zina. Pitirizani kuwerenga, monga momwe tachitira ndi katswiri wathu waubwenzi Ruchi Ruuh (Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling Psychology), tikufufuza za momwe akazi amasiya kukondana ndi amuna awo ndikupeza zomwe mnzanu angachite pazochitika zotere.

Kodi Shutdown Yamalingaliro Ndi Chiyani?

Kodi kutseka mtima kumatanthauza chiyani kwenikweni? Chabwino, mkazi akatseka mtima, amalekanitsidwa ndi malingaliro aliwonse. Palibe kulira, palibe kukumbatirana, ngakhale kungonena kuti “Ndimakukonda!” kapena “Ndimakukonda.” Mnzanu salankhulana, zivute zitani! Ndipo nthawi zambiri mumadabwa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga ali kutali?” kapena “N’chifukwa chiyani sakulankhula nane monga kale?” Kodi izi zikusonyeza vuto lalikulu? Akatswiri nthawi zambiri amalumikiza kutseka mtima ndi kuvutika maganizo . Ndipo ngati mnzanu kapena chibwenzi chanu chikukutsekani mtima, mwina akuvutika ndi vuto linalake la maganizo.

Mwachitsanzo, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu , adawona chibwenzi chake chikutseka nthawi iliyonse akamamva kutopa. Iye adati ngakhale kuti anali bwino komanso anali ndi chemistry yabwino, nayenso ankatseka nthawi zina m'mikhalidwe yotere. Patatha masiku angapo, adadziwitsa anzake a Reddit, nati adamuletsa kwathunthu ndikumuletsanso pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Kenako adamva kuti sizinali za iye ndipo mwina anali ndi matenda amisala. Anawonjezera kuti sakanatha kuchita chilichonse kuti amuchiritse.

Chosangalatsa ndichakuti iyi si nkhani yokhayokha. Amuna padziko lonse lapansi amamva kuti okondedwa awo amawatsekereza m'malingaliro komanso mwanjira ina, popanda kufotokozera nthawi zina. Koma sadziwa kuti angachite bwanji zimenezi.

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Kodi n’chiyani chimachititsa kuti munthu azivutika maganizo?

Kodi mumangodziuza nokha kuti "Mtsikana wanga amanditsekera kunja" kapena "Mkazi wanga ndi wozizira komanso wosakhudzidwa mtima"? Mkazi samatsekereza anthu kunja mwadzidzidzi kapena kutengeka maganizo. Nthawi zambiri ndi nthawi yayitali ndipo imakhala ndi zifukwa zingapo. Komanso kungayambitse mavuto aakulu.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo waku America komanso pulofesa wa ku Stanford, James Gross , yemwe amaphunzira za malingaliro ndi malamulo okhudza momwe munthu akumvera, amakhulupirira kuti kutseka malingaliro kumayambitsa kupsinjika kwamkati, ndipo nthawi zambiri kupsinjika kumafalikira ndikukhudza aliyense wotizungulira, kuphatikiza anzathu, anzathu, ndi omwe akutifunira zabwino.

Koma kuti tichiritse munthu amene watseka, tiyenera kuvumbula zimene zimayambitsa zimenezi. Ndiye, kodi kutseka ndi kuyankha kwa zoopsa? Kapena ndi chifukwa chonyalanyaza mnzanu? Nazi zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimachititsa kuti musiye maganizo:

• Kusalankhulana mu chiyanjano: Mwina sakunena zinthu zomwe zikuyenera kukonzedwa muubwenzi kapena akumva kuti sanazimve. “Mtsikana wanga wamkazi amatseka tikamakangana” ndi dandaulo lofala. Ruchi anati: “Nthawi zina, akazi satha kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo, choncho amachoka m’maganizo akasemphana maganizo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo.
• Kunyalanyaza m'maganizo: Chifukwa chofala chimene chimachititsa kuti mkazi asiye maganizo ndicho kunyalanyazidwa kwamalingaliro muubwenzi. Ruchi anawonjezera kuti: “Mkazi angamve kuti akunyalanyazidwa m’maganizo pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wake asiya kuchitapo kanthu m’chibwenzi.” Zimenezi zimabweretsa kusoŵa ubwenzi wapamtima, ndipo mkaziyo angamve kupwetekedwa mtima ndi kuuleka mwakachetechete.
  Nthaŵi zambiri, kusiyidwa kwamaganizo kwa mwamuna kungachititse munthu kugwa m’maganizo, ngakhale atapereka chithandizo chandalama kapena chakuthupi.
• Kuopa kukanidwa: Azimayi ambiri amawopa kusonyeza maganizo awo enieni atafika pachibwenzi. Izi zimachitika chifukwa cha mantha akulu okana kukanidwa, omwe amayamba chifukwa cha kupwetekedwa mtima kwaposachedwa kapena kuchita ndi mnzake wapoizoni yemwe sanamuyamikire zakukhosi kwake ndikumusiya atawonetsa chilichonse.
• Zovulala paubwana: Kuvulala kogwirizana, kapena kupwetekedwa mtima, kuyambira ali mwana kungapangitse mkazi kutsekedwa m'maganizo mu ubale. Kholo lachipoizoni, lodzikonda, kapena lamwano mwina lidamusiya panthawi yovuta kwambiri, zomwe zidamupangitsa kukhala yekha ndikukhala 'wamkulu' nthawi yake isanakwane. Iye amasamutsanso zoopsazo ku maubwenzi ake
• Matenda a maganizo kapena maganizo: Akhoza kukhala akuvutika ndi maganizo osadziwika bwino kapena maganizo. Mwachitsanzo, kutengeka maganizo n’kofala Zotsatira za Attention-Deficit/hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Mofananamo, kutseka kwa PTSD nakonso ndikofala. Ruchi anawonjezera kuti: “Azimayi amene amadzitsekereza m’maganizo angasonyeze zizindikiro za kukhala ndi nkhawa kwanthaŵi yochepa kapena kwanthaŵi yaitali.” Akhozanso kuvutika maganizo.
• Zoyembekeza ndi kupsinjika: M'nthawi ino yachikazi, pali chikakamizo chochuluka kwa akazi kuti akhale mtundu wamtundu uliwonse woika zofuna za ena patsogolo pa zake. Izi zingayambitse kupsinjika maganizo ndi kutsekedwa kwathunthu kwamaganizo. Ruchi akukhulupirira kuti: “Akazi ambiri amasunga mkwiyo wawo, mkwiyo, ndi chisoni mwa iwo okha.” Ndipo kutsekereza maganizo koteroko kaŵirikaŵiri kumakulitsa kupsinjika maganizo.
• Kuthana ndi chisoni: Kutayikidwa mosayembekezeka kwa kholo, mwana, kapena wokondedwa kungayambitse kukhumudwa komwe kumapitilira pakapita nthawi yayitali. Research wasonyeza kuti akazi amene amapita padera amakonda kunyamula kuvutika maganizo kwa nthawi yaitali. Izi zingayambitsenso kusiya maganizo

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Zizindikiro 11 Zoti Mzimayi Akutsekera Mtima Pa Ubale

Kotero, tsopano mukudziwa kuti pamene mkazi atseka maganizo, zikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha zifukwa zosiyanasiyana. Koma kodi inu, monga okondedwa, mukudziwa zizindikiro za kutseka maganizo? Nazi zizindikiro 11 zodziwika bwino za kusiya malingaliro:

1. Palibe kuyesetsa kusunga maubwenzi

Mukapeza mkazi kapena bwenzi lanu akunyalanyaza zosowa zanu, osaganizira za kukula muubwenzi, kapena kuyiwala za chikondi chaching'ono, ndi chizindikiro chachikulu kuti akutseka maganizo.

Ruchi akuwonjezera kuti, "Pazochitika zotere, akazi nthawi zambiri amasunga mphamvu zawo zamaganizo mwa kusayika ndalama mu mapulani amtsogolo komanso osachita khama lililonse muubwenzi . Ndipo tsogolo, pankhaniyi, siliyenera kukhala la nthawi yayitali. Angasiyenso kupanga mapulani amtsogolo. Chifukwa chake, sangapangenso mapulani ena a madeti, masiku obadwa, zikondwerero, kapena tchuthi."

2. Kusalankhulana

Adzapewa kugawana mphindi zazing'ono zachisangalalo ndipo samabwera kwa inu pamene akukumana ndi zowawa kapena achisoni, ngati akuchoka m'maganizo. Ruchi anati: “Mkazi akayamba kutengeka maganizo, amapewa kukambilana zinthu zofunika kwambili.” Kusaceza naye m’cikwati n’cizindikilo cakuti wayamba kutha.

Mwachitsanzo, sangakuuzeni nkhawa zake ngati akupanikizika ndi ntchito yake kapenanso ngati akufuna kuti muzigwira ntchito zina zapakhomo.

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3. Kuopa kudzipereka kapena kusatetezeka mu ubale

Ngakhale nthawi zambiri timagwirizanitsa kuopa kudzipereka ndi amuna, akazi ambiri nawonso amawopa kuchita zibwenzi zanthawi yayitali. Azimayi oterowo akhoza kukhala ndi mikangano yambiri kapena kugwirizana kwakanthawi kochepa koma sangachite zambiri chifukwa cha kusowa kukhulupirirana.

Kumbali ina, akazi ena akhoza kukhala osatetezeka kwathunthu muubwenzi wawo wakale , ngati atseka maganizo awo. Ruchi akuganiza kuti, "Pazochitika zotere, kulephera kwawo kudalira mnzawo kungapangitse kuti ayambe kupanga zochitika zovuta m'maganizo mwawo."

4. Kuchita mwankhanza pa nkhani zosavuta

Azimayi ambiri omwe amatsekeka m'maganizo amakonda kuchita mwaukali akakumana ndi zovuta zina, monga ngati munthu wopereka chakudya sakufika pa nthawi yake kapena woyandikana naye nyumba kukhala waphokoso. Zoterezi ndi zizindikiro za makoma amalingaliro. Ndipo mutha kuganizabe kuti, "Mtsikana wanga amandikwiyira nthawi zonse."

Ruchi anati: “Chifukwa cha kuvutika maganizo kochuluka, mkazi sangakhale wodekha pamene akufotokoza maganizo ake.

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5. Kupanda chifundo

Kudzipatula ku malingaliro kumabweranso ndi kusowa chifundo konse . Mkazi amene akukumana ndi vutoli sangaganizire za malingaliro anu kapena zomwe mumakonda.

6. Kutengeka maganizo

Mkazi amene amatseka maganizo amawonetsa pang'ono kapena sasonyeza kukhudzidwa konse. Ruchi anati: “Akhoza kukhudzika mtima, koma amangokhalira kukhumudwa.

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7. Kusakhutira ndi anthu kapena zochita zomwe poyamba ankazikonda

Chifukwa chake, amakonda kukwera maulendo koma amakhala pabedi tsiku lonse tsopano, kapena amakonda kulemba kamodzi koma masiku ano satha kulemba sentensi! Izi zikuwonetsa kusowa kwa malingaliro ngakhale zitafika pazantchito zomwe amakonda.

Ruchi anawonjezera kuti: “Mkazi akalephera kutengeka maganizo, sakhutira ndi chilichonse komanso chilichonse m’moyo mwake.

8. Kusadalira komanso kudalira maganizo

Mkazi amene amadzipatula kwa inu m'maganizo angavutike kukukhulupirirani kapena kudalira inu kuti akuthandizeni m'maganizo. Ruchi akuti, "Mkazi angavutike kulumikizana ndi mnzanu ataona machitidwe omwe sakugwirizana nawo. Pazochitika zotere, sangakhulupirireninso. Angayambe kubisa foni yake, kusiya kukambirana za tsiku lake ndi inu, komanso kusunga ndalama zake mosiyana."

Kusakhulupirirana koteroko ndi kudalira maganizo kungayambitsenso nkhani zina. Ruchi akukhulupirira kuti, “Popeza kuti chithandizo chochuluka chamaganizo m’miyoyo yathu chimachokera kwa okondedwa athu, zikatero, akazi akhoza kukhala ndi chibwenzi kapena kupita kokayenda ndi anzawo kuti apeŵe zibwenzi.”

9. Kupewa malo kapena zinthu zokhudzana ndi zoopsa zomwe zidachitika m'mbuyomu

Pamene kusiya maganizo kumachitika chifukwa cha zochitika zomvetsa chisoni zakale, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kwa iye kukhalanso ndi moyo panthawiyo. Zikatero, mkazi amapewa nyimbo, mafilimu, zinthu, ngakhale malo amene amamukumbutsa za vutolo. Mwachitsanzo, mayi akhoza kupewa ulendo wopita chifukwa nthawi ina anapitako ndi ex wake wapoizoni.

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10. Kusayanjanitsika kapena kugawa malo

Adzakumvetserani mwachidwi, osanena kalikonse. Mwina angakuoneni mozizira kapena kungonena kuti “Chilichonse chimene chingakuyenereni!” ndi kukathera pamenepo. Ruchi anati: “Azimayi amene amangolankhula momasuka nthawi zambiri amasiya kukambirana pakati kapena kumadera ena.

11. Palibe chikondi chakuthupi

N’zoona kuti pamene mkazi wasiya maganizo ake, amapewa kukhudzana mwachikondi kwamtundu uliwonse, monga kusisita, kupsompsonana, kapena kusonyezana chikondi. Ruchi akuti, “Monga mukudziwira, akazi amakonda kulumikizana kwambiri kudzera m’maubwenzi a m’maganizo.

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“Mkazi akasiya kukhudzidwa mtima, ngakhale ubwenzi wapamtima umachepa. Mudzapeza zizindikiro zonse zachikondi zikusoweka pa chibwenzi.

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Nanga mungatani mkazi wanu akamakukondani kapena bwenzi lanu/mnzanu akuwoneka kuti akutalikirana naye? Eya, kulankhulana m’zochitika zoterozo kungakhale kovuta! Ngakhale simukufuna kupyola malire ake, mumafunanso kumuthandiza kuti abwerere kwa iye mwini, osamupweteka. Kumbukirani, vuto limayamba pamene kuyankhulana kwatha mu chiyanjano. Choncho, kodi munthu amalankhulana bwanji ndi mkazi amene watseka maganizo? Nawa njira zina zotsekera kupirira:

1. Khalani pamenepo kwa iye

Ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti kudzipatula kulikonse komwe mnzanuyo angasonyeze sikungakhale kokhudzana ndi inu kapena ubale wanu ndi iye. Koma ndikofunikiranso kulankhulana naye ndikumuwonetsa kuti muli naye. Mupangitseni kuti abwere kudzakudyerani khofi kapena kumuphikira chakudya chamadzulo chodzidzimutsa! Thandizani zizindikiro za kulankhulana kolakwika muubwenzi. Onetsani kuti mumasamala.

Ruchi anawonjezera kuti: “M’pofunika kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi azilankhulana momasuka ndiponso momasuka ndi munthu amene akulankhula momasuka.

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2. Osachita manyazi, osaimba mlandu, kapena kuweruza

Kumbukirani kuti safunikira kukambirana kwina kovutitsa maganizo. Choncho, musaipitse zinthu mwa kuchita mwaukali. Musayambe kumuimba mlandu chifukwa chosakhala nawo m’maphwando a m’nyumba kapena kusalankhulana ndi mabwenzi ake akale. Lekani kumutsekera kunja. Izi ndi zizindikiro za kusayankhulana koyipa muubwenzi.

Yesetsani kukhala malo awo otetezeka popanda kumupangitsa kuti anyozedwe. Nenani zinthu monga “Ndikumvetsa mmene mukumvera…” kapena “Mutha kundiuza zomwe zikukudetsani nkhawa.” Apangitseni kumva kuti simudzawaweruza chifukwa chokutsegulirani kapena kukuuzani zakukhosi.

Kupereka mpata pambuyo pa ndewu n’kofunikanso. Pasakhale kukhudzana kwa masabata atatu mutakangana. Imani kaye ndi kulingalira ngati pakufunika kutero.

3. Samalani ndi kamvekedwe kanu ndi kamvekedwe ka thupi lanu

Nthawi zina, si zimene timanena koma mmene timanenera zomwe zimapangitsa kusiyana kwakukulu! Choncho, zinthu zimatha kuipa kwambiri ngati simusamala kamvekedwe kanu ndi chilankhulo cha thupi lanu pamene mukulankhulana ndi munthu amene akutseka mawu ake.

Mwachitsanzo, mungamuuze kuti, “Sindikufunanso kukangana!” kenako tulukani mchipindamo kuti mupewe kukambirana kwina kulikonse. Kapena munganene kuti, “Ndikudziwa zomwe mukukumana nazo! Izi sizithandiza koma zingowonjezera vutoli.

Ruchi akuona kuti: “M’pofunika kusonyeza kuti mumafunitsitsa kulankhula naye, ndipo mmene thupi lanu limayendera kumathandiza kwambiri.

4. Pangani network yothandizira

Ngati mumadziŵana ndi bwenzi lapamtima, wantchito mnzako, kapena wachibale wake, amene wachoka posachedwapa, lankhulani nawo. Apangitseni kukhala mnzawo waupandu kuti alankhule naye. Afunseni kuti ayimbireni foni, amusiyire meseji, kapena atsike mosawadziwitsa, kuti angomufunsa mpaka atakonzeka kutsegula.

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5. Dzifunseni nokha ndi kupepesa

Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa chomwe chikuvutitsa wokondedwa wanu, funsani mozama ndikuganizira njira zomwe mungayambitse vutoli. Kodi amazimitsidwa ndi momwe mumakopana ndi anzanu? Kodi watopa ndikukuuzani kuti mupeze ntchito yabwino yomwe ingakuthandizeni kukhala ndi moyo wapamwamba? Chitani kafukufuku pang'ono ndikupepesa ngati mukuyenera kutero. Yambani ndi “Pepani, ndikudziwa kuti ndakukhumudwitsani…” Yang'anani njira zochiritsira ndi kukula mu ubale. Ikani malire, akhale okhudza mtima kapena thupi, ngati kuli kofunika.
Ruchi anawonjezera kuti: “Pakhoza kukhala kuipidwa kapena kuda nkhaŵa ponena za chibwenzicho.

6. Pangani zatsopano pamodzi

Pali ntchito yambiri yomwe iyenera kuchitidwa kuti akonze ubale ndi mkazi yemwe watsekeka m'maganizo. Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zotsekereza njira yothana ndi vuto ndikupanga zokumana nazo zatsopano.

Ruchi akuti, "Pitani limodzi kutchuthi chapadera kapena yambitsani zinthu zatsopano pamodzi zomwe mwakhala mukuziyimitsa kwa nthawi yayitali. Simuyenera kupita kunja nthawi zonse kuti mukasangalale ndi zinthu zomwe mwakumana nazo. Chinthu chosavuta monga kukongoletsa nyumba yanu pamodzi chingachiritse munthu wodzipatula."

7. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri kwa mlangizi

Mukawona kuti si udindo wanu kuyamba kulankhulana ndi mkazi amene ali ndi vuto la maganizo, funsani mlangizi. Pitani ku chithandizo cha maanja , ngati n'kotheka, ndipo fufuzani chomwe chinachititsa kuti asiye chibwenzi. Mungakhale mukuyembekezera kukambirana ndi katswiriyo movutikira. Koma pamapeto pake, mnzanuyo adzachira.

Tikukhulupirira kuti nkhaniyi yakuthandizani kuzindikira zizindikiro za kutsekeka m'maganizo ndikumvetsetsa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu atseke m'maganizo. Tikukhulupirira kuti zakuthandizaninso kudziwa momwe mungalankhulire ndi munthu amene amatseka motere. Kumbukirani, kupeŵa mkazi, kapena munthu aliyense, yemwe samawonetsa malingaliro angawoneke ngati njira yosavuta, koma izi zimangokhala kukankhira nkhani zenizeni pansi pa kapeti. Kuthana ndi zomwe zimayambitsa kusiyiratu kudzamuthandiza kuthana ndi vutolo m'njira yabwino. Choncho, pitirirani! Musanyalanyaze zizindikiro za makoma a maganizo. Musonyezeni kuti sali yekha pa ulendo wovutawu.

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