It was Diwali eve and not a great time to run out of fairy lights. The spouse and I embarked on a daring drive on the crowded roads with our eyes peeled for shops where one could make an emergency purchase of fairy lights.
We argued, as the spouse refused to stop in the middle of the main road because I had spotted some interesting lights in the window. I mean, duh, aren’t you supposed to stop right where the shop is and not drag the wheels so much further that it doesn’t make sense to trudge to the store on weary legs and then lug back the wares to the car? Duh again. I argued as he followed the bus taking a slow left turn and as we were mid-turn, the light changed. The traffic cop gleefully waved us down, standing bravely in the middle of the road, right in the path of a car being driven by one half of an arguing couple.
We had presented to him the right earning opportunity. The husband reluctantly stopped the car.
I leaped to my husband’s defence
“You jumped the signal,” the traffic cop announced, looking like the cat who had swallowed a canary. Or rather, was about to. I rushed to my husband’s defence before he could answer. “It was green,” I said rather hotly. “It was green when we started to turn and what can we do if the bus in front of us was too slow?”
The cop, in his typical male chauvinist style, looked at the spouse, asked him to park the car and walk to his bike parked a short distance away. I stepped out of the car as well and followed them, not willing to miss out on an opportunity to argue, since I was much annoyed already at the spouse and his principle of not stopping in the middle of the road. Fat lot of good it did us.
“300 bucks,” I heard the cop asking for a fine. Well, I was not fine with that. We had done no wrong. I continued to argue. “We will not pay. Let us go to the police station. I will complain that you are falsely charging us.”
Being a strong support system to each other
Much to my annoyance, the cop told me politely, “Madam, please sit in the car. Let the men folk settle this matter.” And to top it all, the husband gave me that look and motioned to me to go back to he car. I was mortified. Here I was supporting him and he didn’t want my support.
Here I was supporting him and he didn’t want my support.
I let the men settle but not before sending a curse his way that the money would never be of use to him.
When it comes to street fights and arguments, the spouse and I have a strong support system for each other. I don’t need a cue to jump headlong into the argument. I employ my better verbal skills and he, when required, employs his muscle; the said employment of which is made possible by a subtle rolling up of sleeves and casual flexing; the muscles, I warn you, are like the elephant’s tooth – only for looks and not for chomping on fodder.
Related reading: When my reluctant husband became my biggest supporter
You’re parked in the wrong place!
When I encounter a situation where a car is parked right behind my parking gate, I fly into a rage of such massive proportions that it would be sufficient to propel me to my destination. The spouse, on the other hand, is polite and pedantic in his approach. He is truly interested in making an intelligent human being out of the poor sod who has parked behind my gate. And I am ready to poke the offender’s car tyres, much like the proverbial cutting of the facial appendage to spite the said face. I would rather walk than let him drive his car away to free my gate, I often claim as I brandish my carpet needle.
The spouse, in his wisdom, stays back and waits for his cue. When I have exhausted my verbal diarrhoea and am in grave danger of being pummelled by the said sod, I call for the spouse who waits in the wings and appears almost instantly, like Spiderman who has already changed into his costume in anticipation of a situation.
Related reading: Why a mompreneur has perks and not challenges
Let me handle this
The advantage and disadvantage of being in South India is the inherent male chauvinism; a situation therefore can swing either way. Some types lecture the said woman to be seen and not heard and therefore declare them not worthy of a fight and slink away. The other types behave like a tiger in front of the said woman and in contrast, like a purring kitten in front of the man of the house. Either way, it is a win-win situation for us, because together we have the might of the pen and the sword, rather the words and the muscle, hence we are good there.