Isondo Lomzwelo: Ukuthi Liyini Futhi Lisetshenziswa Kanjani Ukwakha Ubudlelwano Obungcono

Ungase ucabange, “Wonke umuntu unemizwa. Asiyazi le nto kakade?” Ngokumangalisayo, asikwenzi lokho. Siyimikhiqizo yesiko 'lomunca' phela. Kungakho u-Robert Plutchik eqhamuke nesondo lomzwelo ukuze enze ukuzizwisa okuyinkimbinkimbi kufinyeleleke kithi futhi asisize sibhekane nezimo nemizwa enzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi phakathi neziqephu ezimbi zobudlelwane. Ngaleli thuluzi, ungakwazi ukuqaphela imizwa yakho kancane kancane ngale kokuthi “angizizwa kahle” lapho uzama ukuveza imizwa yakho kumlingani wakho, noma phakathi nokungqubuzana.

Abantu bahlangabezana nezinhlobonhlobo zemizwa nemizwelo engokomzimba, kodwa sifunda ukuyisusa kusukela esemncane. Ucwaningo lisho ngokucacile ukuthi “ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kubanjelwa emzimbeni futhi kudala imiphumela eminingi ephansi, okuhlanganisa ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka, ukugula okuhlobene nokucindezeleka, yonke indlela eya ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa nokuzibulala ...

Ukuqonda ukuthi isondo lomzwelo/ubudlelwano lisebenza kanjani kuzokusiza ukuthi ungagcini nje ngokuzazi kodwa nasekwakheni isibopho esinenhloso nesizwelayo nozakwenu, ngisho nalapho ningaboni ngaso linye. Ukufunda ngemizwelo kungase kube elinye lamathuluzi angcono kakhulu oshintsho lwangaphakathi kanye nezepolitiki - Sizochaza ukuthi kanjani.

Liyini Isondo Lomzwelo?

Ucwaningo olungenhla luthi “ubuhlakani bomzwelo (EQ) buyisibikezelo esiyinhloko sempilo yengqondo. I-EQ yethu ibhekisela ekhonweni lethu lokuqaphela, ukulawula, nokuveza imizwelo yethu nokuqonda, nokusabela ngekhono emizweni yabanye.” Cabanga ukuthi libaluleke kangakanani leli khono ebudlelwaneni bothando lapho imizwa iphakama, kodwa kanjalo nokungaqondi. Ngenhlanhla, ukulingana ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakho ingafundwa.

Isondo lemizwa lika-Robert Plutchik liyithuluzi elibonakalayo le-EQ elikusiza ukuthi ukhombe ama-nuances emizwa eyinhloko neyesibili obhekana nayo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Leli sondo lemizwa, njengoba kukhonjisiwe ngezansi, libonisa imizwa eyisishiyagalombili eyinhloko:

• Anger
• Ukulindela
• Joy
• Trust
• Fear
• Kuyamangaza
• Usizi
• Disgust

Imizwa ephambene nendawo efana nenjabulo nokudabuka noma ukwesaba nentukuthelo ibekwe ngokulinganayo kuleli sondo lobudlelwane obubonakalayo. Njengemibala eyinhloko, le mizwa ingahlangana futhi ifane neminye ukuze idale imizwa eyinkimbinkimbi njengokwamukela, ukucasuka, isithukuthezi, njll. Ngokusebenzisa leli thuluzi, wena nophathina wakho ningatshelana 'ngqo' lokho enikuzwayo. Ngale ndlela, akekho ozwa sengathi akaqondwa kahle, futhi nobabili nifunda ukwesekana kangcono.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izidingo Eziyi-10 Ezibalulekile Zomzwelo Ebudlelwaneni

Izinhlobo ezahlukene zamasondo emizwa

Ngaphandle kwesondo lika-Plutchik elikunikeza ishadi lemizwa eliyisisekelo nelesibili, nobabili ningafunda ukusebenzisa amasondo emizwa adalwe abanye ochwepheshe futhi. Ungase uwadinge uma kwenzeka uthola lena enganele. Noma ungase ufune ukusebenzisa okungaphezu kokukodwa ekuphishekeleni kwakho yonke imizwelo yomuntu engase ihlanganise ubuhlobo bakho bothando. Nazi:

• Isondo lokuzizwa likaGeoffrey Robert: Iwukuhluka kwesondo le-Plutchik futhi inweba imizwa eyisishiyagalombili eyisisekelo iye ku-130. Igxile kakhulu emizweni ephambene.
• Isondo Le-Geneva Emotion: Kuyisondo lomzwelo nomuzwa wokulinganisa izinhlobo ezahlukene zokusabela komuntu ezintweni, izehlakalo, nezimo. Kuhlanganisa “ukungabi namizwa” noma “eminye imizwa” ewusizo kulabo ababa ndikindiki noma i-alexithymia
• Isondo le-Junto Emotion: Uthando luwumzwelo oyisisekelo kulokhu. Uma ubona leli shadi lesondo lemizwa, uzoqaphela imizwa engu-108 kulesi sichazamazwi semizwa

Futhi, abantu badida isondo lomzwelo nemizwa, njengoba kokubili kuklanyelwe ukusisiza sazi imizwa yethu kanye bekezela ebudlelwaneni. Ake sicacise umehluko phakathi kwesondo lokuzwa i-Gottman, elibizwa nangokuthi isondo lokuzwa ngoDkt. Gloria Wilcox, ngokumelene nesondo lomzwelo lika-Robert Plutchik.

U-Gloria Willcox ozwa isondo	Isondo lomzwelo likaPlutchik
Imizwa eyisithupha eyinhloko: ukuhlanya, ukudabuka, ukwesaba, injabulo, amandla, ukuthula	Imizwa eyisishiyagalombili eyinhloko: intukuthelo, ukulindela, injabulo, ukwethemba, ukwesaba, ukumangala, ukudabuka, ukunengeka
Isetshenziswa kanjani isondo lokuzwa: Imizwa eyinhloko isesondo eliphakathi, elibe seliphumela emaphethelweni angaphandle ngemizwa yesibili kanye nemizwa ephakeme.	Isetshenziswa kanjani isondo lomzwelo: Imizwelo emaphakathi isesondo eliphakathi, imizwa ejulile kwengaphakathi impela, imizwa ethambile kwelingaphandle. Kuyinsiza ebonakalayo yemizwa ephambene nendawo ezungezile
Leli sondo lisiza abantu ukuthi babone imizwa yabo ethile futhi babhekane nayo nge-ejensi eyengeziwe	Isondo lombala wemizwa libonisa imizwa njengokuziphatha okugxile ekusindeni kanye nethuluzi lokuhlonza ama-nuances wokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu ngokomzwelo.

Kungani kubalulekile ukufunda ngemizwa?

Imizwa yethu iyindlela yokusinda. Basitshela okufanele sikulungise. Imizwa yokungakhululeki oba nayo phakathi nobudlelwano kwesinye isikhathi ijwayelekile, kanye nemephu eya ezindaweni ezidinga ukwelapheka. Ukungazinaki noma ukungaqondi imizwa yomlingani wakho kungadala ukungezwani okukhulu phakathi kwenu nobabili.

Phela, ukucindezelwa kwemizwa emnene kuye konamandla kuyinkinga yezempilo. Futhi sidinga ukukhuluma ngalokho ngaphambi kokuthi sifunde ukusebenzisa i-psychology yamasondo emizwa nguPlutchik. Ungase ube nozakwenu onenkinga yokukhomba indlela azizwa ngayo, noma mhlawumbe nawe unenkinga efanayo. Uyazibuza, "Umaqondana wami akangikhulumisi. Kungani becindezela imizwelo yabo ngamabomu?” Nazi ezinye izizathu okungenzeka:

• Umlingani wakho angase abe ne-alexithymia: Kulapho umuntu ekuthola kunzima ukuzwa noma ukukhomba imizwa, futhi abe nobunzima bokuveza imizwa futhi. Kungaba ngenxa yokuhlukumezeka, izinkinga zempilo yengqondo, noma i-autism
• Abanye kuqala: Umlingani wakho kungenzeka ukuthi ubejwayele ukubeka phambili imizwelo yabanye abantu ngenxa yobuntwana obuqinile noma ngenxa yokuthi uhlala esezimeni lapho ethwele kanzima ngokomzwelo.
• Amaqembu avelele awawaqondi/awajezisa: Abantu abamnyama bahlale becelwa ukuthi behlise ulaka ngaphandle kwesizathu ngaphandle kokucwasa (ikakhulukazi uma bekhuluma ngamalungelo abo). Ubuso obungathathi hlangothi noma ithoni kanye nokuma komzimba kwabantu abaningi abane-autistic kuthathwa njengokuzidla, okungavamile, ukuzwela okuncane nokuhlakaniphile - ngakho-ke sifihla okuningi. Kukhona futhi umehluko wamasiko ekuvezweni kwemizwa; lapha, isiko elibusayo/lomcindezeli linquma ukuthi yini efanelekile
• Imizwa yozakwenu ayikholwa: Ingabe abantu ababazungezile bavame ukungakukholelwa ukungaphatheki kahle komlingani wakho? Ingabe baye batshelwa ukuthi imizwa yabo akuyona engokoqobo emndenini/abathandekayo babo?
• Bawela ngenxa ye-'Laziness Lie': Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezenhlalakahle uDevon Price uthi encwadini yakhe, Ubuvila Abukho, ukuthi sicabanga ngokungalungile ukuthi asenzi okwanele. Futhi, "Senziwa ukuba sikholwe ukuthi ngeke sithembe imizwa yethu yokukhathala noma yokugula, nokuthi akukho nokulinganiselwa kwethu okwamukelekayo."
• Bayathinteka ithemba lobuthi: Akekho ongamela isizwe esithi 'jabula, ungakhali'. Bangase babe necala lokucindezelwa okukhulu ngokomzwelo emhlabeni wonke
• "Ngiyekile, kufanele nawe": Okukhungathekisa nakakhulu yilabo abacabanga ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwawo wonke umuntu, ingcindezi, ukudangala, ukuhlukumezeka, njll. kufanele kusebenze ngesikhathi esifanayo nesabo. Umlingani wakho kungenzeka ukuthi ukufake ngaphakathi ukukwazi okukhonjiswa ngumuntu omkhathalelayo
• Ukulungiswa kwabesilisa: Amadoda afundiswa imizwelo yobulili. Njengoba eminye imizwa iyinto engavumelekile kubo ukuba bayizwe, bayiveze, futhi bahlobane nayo, bazizwa bebodwa/bacasuke/banamahloni lapho leyo mizwa ikhula.

Ngalesi sangemuva sokucindezelwa ngokomzwelo, uyakubona ukuthi kungani ubuhlakani bemizwa bubalulekile ekusondelaneni kwezothando kanye nokuqaliswa kabusha kwesiko? Imodeli ka-Plutchik yesondo lemizwa iyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuqonda imizwa yakho neyesithandwa sakho.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: I-Emotional Intelligence Ebudlelwaneni: Yenza Uthando Luhlale Phakade

8 Izinzuzo Zesondo Lomzwelo lika-Plutchik

Imizwelo ayiyona nje imizwa, icabangela nemizimba yethu futhi. Aqukethe izingxenye ezi-5:

• Ingxenye yemizwa, lapho uzwa khona umuzwa (ukudumala)
• Ingxenye yokuthambekela kwesenzo lapho umzimba wakho unesifiso sokusabela kumuzwa (ufuna ukuqhela kumuntu/isimo)
• Ingxenye yokuhlola, lapho uqonda khona imbangela yomzwelo (ubulindele ukuthi usuku lwakho lube mnandi kubasebenzi bendawo yokudlela kodwa badelela amaseva)
• Ingxenye yezimoto, lapho uveza khona imizwa ngezandla/ubuso/ukunyakaza, njll. (unikina ikhanda kancane, isimo sobuso esibuhlungu, njll.)
• Ingxenye ye-physiological, lapho umzimba wakho udlula ekuphenduleni kwamakhemikhali ngenxa yomzwelo (umphimbo wakho uyancipha)

Uma abantu bazi ukuthi kwenzekani ngaphakathi kubo, bangamela izidingo zabo kangcono. Lokhu kusiza ukuqhubeka uthando nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni, phulukisa ukuguquguquka emsebenzini, vula indawo yobudlelwano obunempilo nabangane nomndeni, futhi wakhe umuzwa wozwela womphakathi. Nazi ezinye izinzuzo zobudlelwano zokusebenzisa ishadi lemizwa eliyinhloko nelesibili lesondo lemizwa lika-Plutchik.

1. Isondo lombala womzwelo liholela ekuzaziseni okwengeziwe, okuholela ebudlelwaneni obuseduze

Lapho abantu bexhumana nabo ngokwabo, baxhumana kakhulu nabanye. Lindsay C. Gibson, umbhali we Izingane Ezikhulile Zabazali Abangavuthiwe Ngokomzwelo: Ungaphulukisa Kanjani Kubazali Abakude, Ukwenqaba, noma Abazibandakanye Uqobo uthi, “Ukumboza izidingo zakho ezijulile kuvimbela ukuxhumana kwangempela nabanye.” Ukuze uthole ubudlelwano bothando ngempela nozakwenu, uzodinga ukuzazi kangcono nawe.

UBrianna, umdayisi wezimoto ovela e-Detroit, uyahlanganyela, “Ngangicabanga ukuthi ukwazi ngemizwa kwanele ukuyizwa futhi ngiyinqobe. Ukubheka uhlu lwemizwa yabantu abadala akwanele, kudinga umsebenzi omningi! Ngonyaka odlule, izidingo zomzwelo zozakwethu azifezekanga ngoba ngangingavumelani nazo. Lokho kungiphoqe ukuthi ngibheke isimo sengqondo esishintshashintshayo sibe yishadi lami le-Practic lokuqhubekisela phambili. ozakwethu bayaqonda ukuthi ngisazama ukuqonda imizwa yami futhi bayangibekezelela ngendlela emangalisayo lapho ngithatha isikhathi sokucubungula izimo Kungenze ngabathanda nakakhulu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ubudlelwano Obungebona Umfazi oyedwa: Incazelo, Izinhlobo, Izinzuzo

2. Ungafunda ukwenza indawo yokuhlala yawo wonke umuntu

Umngane wami one-autistic, osebenza endaweni ezibiza ngokuthi 'kubandakanya ukukhubazeka' yonke indawo, wahleka lapho ngibabuza ukuthi yiziphi izindawo zokuhlala abazithola ngenxa yokukhubazeka kwabo, "Azikho. Nakuba kudingekile ngokomthetho, isihloko siyachithwa ngokushesha uma ngiveza. Kodwa ngiyasithola, abakwazi ukwamukela lezo zidingo zokukhubazeka ezingafinyelelwanga, noma zingafinyelelwanga." Kungani kungenjalo, ngabuza. Bathi, “I-Neurotypicals ayihlangabezani nezidingo nemizwa yabo!

Isicelo sendawo yokuhlala yabantu abakhubazekile sihlangatshezwana naso, kanye nezimangalo zokuvilapha noma ukucela amalungelo akhethekile - Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubudlelwano be-platonic noma bothando. Nokho uqinisile mngani wami, isimo sibi nakubantu abangakhubazekile. Umbhali we Ubuvila Abukho ithi: “Lapho umuntu ekholelwa ukuthi okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuthandwa iwukujabulisa omunye umuntu, bagcina sebenazo zonke izinhlobo zobuhlobo obufuna ngokweqile, bephana kuze kube phakade kunalokho abakutholayo futhi abakaze bazizwe bebonwa ngempela.” Ukuhlala ngokomzwelo kuwuphawu lokuqala lokuzizwela.

3. Isondo lomzwelo likusiza ukuthi uzwe imizwa yakho ukuxazulula izingxabano zobudlelwane

Njengoba kucasula ukuzwa ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kanye nabelaphi bethu ukuthi 'bazwe imizwa yakho', baqinisekise imizwa yakho eyisisekelo a) ekugcineni kwelaphe ukuhlukumezeka kancane, b) kusivumela ukuthi sinciphise ukucindezeleka kwansuku zonke, c) ukuxazulula izingxabano zobudlelwane ngaphandle kokuzivumela zidonse izinsuku, amasonto, neminyaka. Uma wena nengxenye yakho nichitha isikhathi nemizwa engemihle (hhayi ukuyihlaziya), kuzokusiza nobabili ukuyiyeka – uma kwenziwa ngobumnene nangokungaguquguquki endaweni ephephile.

4. Kuhle kakhulu empilweni jikelele kanye nomuzwa wokuzikhethela ebudlelwaneni

Imizwa ithinta imizimba yethu nokusebenza kwayo, ngakho wena nozakwenu ningaba nempilo engcono ngokusebenza kobuhlakani bemizwa. Kuzokusiza ukuthi ubone ukungaphatheki kahle kwakho, niqonde kangcono imingcele omunye nomunye, nithi 'cha' noma 'yebo,' noma nehlise ijubane lapho kudingeka.

Ungathatha futhi isikhala ebuhlotsheni lapho ufuna ukuphumula kancane; lokhu kuzosiza kuphela isibopho sakho esikhathini eside. Devon Price, umbhali we Ubuvila Abukho, ithi, “Ukuphulukisa okukhulu kungatholakala ekulaleleni imizimba yethu nokuhlonipha izidingo zethu zokuphumula nokungenzi lutho.Kuwuguquko—futhi kuphulukisa ngokujulile—ukulalela ubuhlungu bemizimba yethu noma ukukhathala nokuyihlonipha kunokukwahlulela.”

5. Isilulumagama esithinta imizwa sikunikeza inkululeko yokukhuluma

A cwaningo ku I-Journal ye-Psychology engavamile ithole ukuthi ukucindezelwa kwezimpendulo zokuziphatha kumzwelo kwaba nemiphumela engokomzimba kubahlanganyeli. Imiphumela yayihlanganisa ukushaya kwenhliziyo okuphakeme. Lokhu kuphakamisa ukuthi ukuveza izimpendulo zokuziphatha ezishukumisayo, kokubili okuhle nokubi (ngendlela enempilo), kungcono empilweni yakho yonke.

Ingabe uzizwa sengathi udinga ukucindezela ukusabela kwakho ngokomzwelo eduze komlingani wakho kakhulu? Uma kunjalo, lokhu kudinga ukusingathwa ngamasondo emizwa ngokushesha, ngenxa yokusondelana kwakho nokuzibophezela okuqhubekayo.

6. Isizathu esihle sokusebenzisa isondo: Ukulawula imizwa ukuze ingakulawuli

Abantu bakholelwa ukuthi kuningi abangakwenza balawule imizwelo yabo, kungcono bakwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwabo. Lolu hlobo lokulawula lusetshenziswa kakhulu ngokucindezela imizwa yabo phansi, eguqulwa ibe ukucindezeleka ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, nangokomzwelo. Sibhekana nalokhu kamuva ngendlela yokutubeka, izinkinga zempilo, noma ukuba nobudlelwano obungafaneleki kahle, obufunayo, noma obunobuthi.

Ungakwazi ukubikezela izenzakalo zesikhathi esizayo uma uvumelana nemizwa ethile kanye nezimo zakho zomzwelo ezikhulayo; okusho ukuthi ungavimbela ukusabela okungekuhle ukuthi kwenzeke. Isibonelo, uma unezinkinga zentukuthelo, ukulindela ukufutheka kungakusiza unciphise ukuziphatha okunolaka kumlingani wakho. Kuzuzisa kakhulu futhi kukunika amandla ukulalela umzimba wakho, ngiyathembisa.

7. Ukusinda komlingani oqaphela kakhulu imizwa

Imizwa ifeza yiphi injongo? Ngokomlando, baye basiza izinhlobo zethu ukuthi ziphile futhi zivumelane ukuze zilindele, zibone, zibhekane, noma ziphume enkingeni ebulalayo. Kodwa ngaphakathi kohlaka lobudlelwano, bayasisiza ukuthi sixhumane, sihlobane, sikhulise ukuphepha, sizwelane, futhi sigubhe izenzakalo ezibalulekile ndawonye. Ukuqwashisa ngokomzwelo kuyindaba yokuqhubeka kwezinhlobo zethu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Inkululeko Ebudlelwaneni - Lokho Ekushoyo Nokungakwenzi

8. Thola leyo mali!

Wena nomlingani wakho, uma ninqume ukuhlala ndawonye, ​​ningafuna ukwenza imisebenzi ebungaza ukuqwashisa kwakho ngokomzwelo. Ukufunda ngemizwelo kubonakala kuwulungele umsebenzi, ngokusho kuka Forbes. Ihambisana kakhulu nokusebenza kwe-stellar. Abaholi nabafundile ngokomzwelo nabaphathi basebenza kahle kakhulu. Kudala izimo zenjabulo yomuntu siqu - futhi abasebenzi abajabule bawusizo olukhulu ngoba banobuchule futhi bakhiqiza kakhulu.

Ungalisebenzisa Kanjani Isondo Lemizwa Ukwakha Ubudlelwano Obunempilo

Masiqonde imizwa kuqala. Cabanga ngalesi simo: Usendaweni yokudlela. Kufana nomlingiswa kaJack Black ku The Holiday, ubona umlingani wakho efasiteleni lesitolo sokudlela, eqabula umuntu ngaphandle. Manje cabanga ngalezi zinhlobo ezahlukene zokusabela kokuziphatha kusivuseleli esifanayo:

• Efilimini, ukusabela kwakhe ngokomzimba kwaba ukweqa, aphume, futhi abhekane naye
• Omunye umuntu angase abheke imizuzwana embalwa futhi abuyele ngokuzolile esidlweni sakhe nasenkampanini yakhe
• Omunye umuntu angazizwa zonke imiphumela yendaba. Ukuthuthumela, amehlo avulekile, izwi liyaqhaqhazela, bangase bamemezele izindaba zokungathembeki kuwo wonke umuntu ophezu kwetafula
• Futhi omunye umuntu angase abheke isenzakalo esenzekelayo, amangale, bese ezizwa ekhululekile. Ngoba nabo bebekopela noma bebecabanga ukuhlukana

Leli bekuyiqoqo lemizwa+ eyahlukene yokuziphatha. Sonke sihlangabezana nezisusa ngendlela evumayo, kodwa kunezingxenye ezi-3 ze-psychology yemizwa ezivame kakhulu kuwo wonke umuntu:

• Ukusabela kwengqondo (isb, intukuthelo, ukwamukela, ukwesaba, ukukhululeka lapho ukhohliswa)
• Ukusabela komzimba (umphumela ekushayeni kwenhliziyo, izinga lokuphefumula, imisebenzi yobuso be-electromyographic, njll.)
• Izimpendulo zokuziphatha (amehlo avuleke, ukububula, ukuthuthumela, ukumamatheka)

Imizwa eyinkimbinkimbi ebudlelwaneni

Dawuniloda isondo lomzwelo i-PDF/ishadi lika-Plutchik. Uzoqaphela ukuthi inezinguqulo eziqinile zemizwa eyinhloko engu-8 kumbuthano ongaphakathi impela, imizwa eyinhloko phakathi nendawo, nezinguqulo zayo ezithambile kumbuthano ongaphandle. Isibonelo, i-ecstasy (indilinga yangaphakathi), injabulo (phakathi), ukuthula (ngaphandle). Kukhona umbuthano ongaphandle kakhulu onezinhlanganisela zemizwa. Isibonelo, ukwesaba + ukumangala = ukwesaba.

Isibonelo semizwa eyinkimbinkimbi empilweni yakho yokuphola: Uphakamisa izimpawu zamakhemikhali ngosuku lokuqala bese ngibuya ngizizwa ngimuhle futhi ngimamatheka kakhulu. Uma ubheka isondo, ungabona ukuthi uzizwa 'unethemba' hhayi nje 'ujabule.' Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi ulalele nezimpawu zomzimba wakho, futhi manje uyazi ukuthi 'ulindele' usuku olulandelayo! Yile ndlela imizwa ehumusha ngayo esenzweni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukwamukela Ukuba sengozini Kwemizwelo: Ukukhuthaza Amadoda Ukuveza Imizwa Yawo

Umsebenzi wobuhlakani bomzwelo - Ungalisebenzisa kanjani isondo lemizwa

Ungafaka isondo lomzwelo ukuthi linyakaze ngokusebenzisa imisebenzi ehlukahlukene yobuhlakani bomzwelo. Ake sizame eyodwa. Sizolandela lezi zithandani, ikakhulukazi uzakwethu A, ezigabeni zabo zokungqubuzana.

Isehlakalo esiholela ekungqubuzaneni

U-A no-B bangabashadile. U-B uthola ucingo oluvela ku-ex yakhe ehlukumezayo. Ngaphambi nje kokuba bobabili baye emsebenzini, u-B utshela u-A lokhu, futhi wengeza ngokuthi bekungeyona into yokukhathazeka ngayo. U-A uya emsebenzini, kodwa bazizwa bengaphumuli usuku lonke. Abakuqondi ababhekene nakho. Ukumangala? Ukusola? Ukungavunyelwa? Cha. Kodwa bazizwa benemizwa eminingi ngesikhathi esisodwa futhi kubadumaza.

Ukungqubuzana phakathi kuka-A no-B

Babuyela ekhaya futhi u-B usezwa ukuthi kukhona okuvaliwe. Isimo somzwelo sika-A esinganakiwe sidala ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabo. u-B ucabanga ukuthi u-A uyabathukuthelela; B ulimele kodwa ubanikeza isikhala. A uzizwa enecala; bafuna ukukulungisa lokhu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-13 Azisola Ngayo Ngokukuzwisa Kabuhlungu

Ukusetshenziswa kwesondo lomzwelo ekungqubuzaneni kobudlelwane

Umuntu A uyabona ukuthi udinga ukumba uhlu lwemizwa yabantu abadala abake bakhuluma ngalo ngaphambilini. Lapha yilapho isondo lomzwelo lingena khona. Nakhu ukuthi lihamba kanjani:

• I-kinda iyazi ukuthi bathukuthele, ukuze kube lula ukukhomba
• Babheka imizwa eyengeziwe futhi babone 'ukunengeka.' Indlela imizimba yabo ehlangana ngayo nalelo gama ibenza baqiniseke ukuthi nabo bazizwa kanjalo
• Bavele babone ukuthi bathukuthelele ex kaB, hhayi uB noma omunye umuntu. Ukusho umzwelo oqondile (ukunengeka) kwasiza ngalokho; 'ukuthukuthela' bekujwayelekile kakhulu futhi akuzange kuthwebule imizwa yabo ngokunembile
• Bachitha isikhathi esiningi nemodeli ye-Plutchik, futhi baqagele ukuthi yimiphi imizwa emibili eyisisekelo ehlanganayo ukuze bakhe imizwa yokudelela? Intukuthelo nokunengeka. “Kunengqondo ukuthi ngiba nalokhu kusabela okungokomzwelo kothile engimzondayo futhi engingamhloniphi,” kucabanga u-A. Bamba bajule
• Imizwa eyengeziwe iyakhula. Nabo bazizwa beqaphile futhi bethukile ngoba bayamthanda uB futhi abafuni ukubabona belimala. Akumangalisi ukuthi kade bengaphumuli
• Kukhona futhi ukudabuka ngoba bakhumbula ukuthi ubuhlobo obuhlukumezayo baba nabo ku-B. Kodwa baphatheke kabi ngenxa yento eyodwa futhi - abafuni ukulahlekelwa umlingani wabo komunye umuntu.
• Ngokuhlala benelukuluku lokwazi ngemizwa yabo, bangakwazi ukuzulazula kumdwebo wabo wemizwa wangaphakathi futhi bathambisa isimo sabo somqondo.

Ukwazi umehluko phakathi kwentukuthelo nokudelela kungase kungabonakali kubalulekile kodwa uma kuziwa ekuphatheni imizwa yethu nokuxazulula eqinile, kubaluleka. Ama-nuances asiza ukunciphisa okwenziwayo, ukuhlukanise kube izingxenye ezilawulekayo, futhi uvumele yonke imizwa iphefumule ngawodwana. Izifundo bonisa ukuthi ukukhuluma ngemizwa yethu ngamazwi kuholela ekulawuleni imizwelo futhi kwenza ukudabuka kwethu, intukuthelo, nobuhlungu bunciphe kakhulu.

Isixazululo

Manje njengoba u-A esazi izinhlobonhlobo zemizwa yabo futhi esenamagama adingekayo angokomzwelo, badinga ukubhekana nayo yonke into. Bangakwazi:

• Dlula ekuphenduleni kwabo ngokomzwelo kokuqala kokuthukuthela u-B noma owake waphila, noma kokubili, ngokubafaka kulokhu
• Khuluma nophathina wabo ngesineke ngezinkathazo zabo futhi ucele isiqinisekiso mayelana nalokhu okubakhathazayo okungenhla
• Zibonele ukuthi le mizwa ingokwemvelo, nokuthi bayamethemba umlingani wabo ukuthi uzokwenza isinqumo esifanele bona. Bangatshela u-B ukuthi bamthukuthelele owayedlule, hhayi u-B, ngoba bayamthanda u-B futhi bakhathazeke ngokuphepha kwabo. Yilokhu ekugcineni u-A anquma ukukwenza. Ukuxolisa kumuntu omzwise ubuhlungu kubalulekile futhi, futhi u-A uyakwenza lokho

Lapha, ishadi lamasondo elithinta imizwa lisiza laba balingani ababili bagcwalise igebe ebelingaqhubeka likhula, futhi baxhumane ngokujule nakakhulu. B, kulesi sikhala esixazululiwe, uyakwazi ukutshela u-A ngendlela abazizwa ngayo lapho bethola lolo cingo ekuseni, nokuthi bahlela ukwenzani ngakho. Manje u-A usephethe ngokugcwele isilulumagama sabo semizwa ngakho-ke kulula ukubhekana nalesi simo. Yile ndlela oziqinisekisa ngayo wena kanye nomuntu omthandayo.

Ukufundisa ubuhlakani bomzwelo kubantu abadala nasezinganeni ezincane kungaba ithuluzi lenguquko yezepolitiki. Khumbula lokhu: Yiba nelukuluku lokwazi ngemizwa yakho eyisisekelo uma ubheka isondo lemizwelo PDF/ishadi. Imizwa yindlela yomzimba wakho yokukutshela lokho okudingayo, ukuthi yiziphi izimiso nemigomo yakho. Ungawaphiki. Noma bazothola indlela yokuphuma ngandlela thize.

Izibonelo Eziyi-11 Zemikhuba Yokuzilimaza Emosha Ubudlelwano

Ukuqomisana nomuntu ocabanga ngokweqile: Amathiphu ayi-15 Okwenza Kuphumelele

Iqhaza Lokuzihlonipha Ebudlelwaneni - Thatha Lesi Sivivinyo Ukuze Uhlole Esakho Namuhla!

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.