Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokuthi Uyintombi Enamathelayo - Kanye Nendlela Yokugwema Ukuba Yinye

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Kunomugqa omuhle phakathi kokuba intombi enamathelayo kanye neyothando. Into efunwa abafana ngumuntu obakhathalelayo ngokungafani nabanye. Into abangayifuni ngumuntu ocupha impilo yabo yansuku zonke engabaniki ngisho nendawo yokuphefumula. Eqinisweni, akucaci ngobulili nhlobo. Ukunamathela kuwukuvala cishe wonke umuntu, akunjalo?

Kunezindlela zokuziphatha ezingaphilile eziqhelelene kakhulu nendawo yokunamathelana kangangokuthi zingabizwa ngokucacile njengezimpawu zentombi eswele futhi yilezo amadoda amaningi adideka ngazo. Silapha ukuzokusiza ukunquma lezi zimpawu futhi ufunde ukuthi ungabambelela kanjani, ngokubonisana nomqeqeshi wempilo uJoie Bose , ogxile ekwelulekeni abantu ababhekene nemishado ehlukumezayo, ukuhlukana, kanye nobudlelwano bobulili obungaphandle komshado.

Izimpawu Ezi-5 Eziphezulu Zokuthi Uyintombi Enamathelayo

Awumniki isikhala
Ufuna ukunaka kwakhe konke kube kuwe
Uhlala ucabanga ngaye
Udinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo
Ulandela izinkundla zakhe zokuxhumana

I-Clingy Girl Psychology

Okuqukethwe

Iningi labesifazane abaswele abaqapheli ngisho nemiphumela emibi yezenzo zabo futhi cishe abacabangi ukuthi benza noma yini engalungile. Kunjengokungathi ukwahlulela kwabo nokuzazi kwabo kugcwele imizwa nama-hormone othando. Banesitayela sokunamathelana esingavikelekile , okusho ukuthi bahlala bezizwa benesifiso sokukhuluma nomlingani wabo noma ukuhlangana naye. Ukuhlala behlukene ngisho namahora ambalwa kubenza bangazethembi ngobuhlobo, okubenza badlale. Konke lokhu kuyizimpawu zokuba ngumuntu onamathelayo.

Ocwaningweni lwabantu abanesitayela sokunamathelana nokukhathazeka, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sase-University of Western Ontario uLorne Campbell kanye noTara Marshall (2011) baseBrunel University bathole izizathu eziningana zokuthi kungani abantu abanesitayela sokunamathelana nokukhathazeka besengozini enkulu yokunamathela. Abacwaningi bathole ukuthi:

Abantu abanesitayela sokunamathela okukhathazekayo bavame ukuba nokuzethemba okuphansi
Nakuba benomuzwa omuhle ngabalingani babo bothando, basaba njalo ukulahlwa
Ngenxa yalokho, bafuna ukuqinisekiswa njalo nokusekelwa ngokomzwelo okuvela kumlingani wabo
Lokhu kucindezeleka kubenza baswele ngokomzwelo futhi bakhathazeke kakhulu ngabalingani babo

Nazi ezinye izizathu ezingaba yimbangela yokunamathela:

Izimpawu zentombi eziqaphile zingaba ngenxa yesasasa lokuqala lobudlelwano noma ukwesaba okungenzeka kube nosizi
Abantu abaswele ngokomzwelo bavame ukulwa nokungazethembi okucashile, ukwesaba, nezinkinga zokushiywa.
Kungaba umphumela wokukhathazeka isitayela sokunamathiselwe noma ukuhlukumezeka kokukhashelwa ebudlelwaneni obudlule

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Usebudlelwaneni Obunamathele? Nansi Indlela Okufanele Ubhekane Nabo…

Indlela Ukunamathelana Okuthinta Ngayo Ubudlelwano

Ukunamathelana kuvame ukuqala njengesifiso sokusondelana futhi kuvela ezinhlosweni ezinhle, kodwa lapho omunye umlingani encika kakhulu komunye ukuze aqinisekiswe, anakwe, noma aqinisekiswe, kungalimaza kancane kancane ubudlelwano. Ubudlelwano obuhle budinga kokubili ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo kanye nokuzimela komuntu siqu. Lapho lokho kulinganisela kuphela, ubudlelwano bungaqala ukuzizwa bunzima komunye noma bobabili abalingani. Nazi ezinye zezindlela ezivamile zokuziphatha okunamathelayo okungathinta ngazo ubudlelwano.

1. Kudala ingcindezi engokomzwelo kumlingani

Umlingani onamathelayo uvame ukudinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo ebudlelwaneni :

Imibhalo evamile
Izimpendulo ezisheshayo
Nokuqinisekiswa okuphindaphindiwe kothando noma ukuzibophezela

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kungenza omunye umlingani azizwe enesibopho ngokomzwelo sokulawula imizwa yomlingani wakhe. Esikhundleni sokujabulela ubuhlobo ngokwemvelo, bangase bazizwe sengathi kufanele bahlale bebonisa uthando lwabo, okungaba yinto ekhathazayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukulahla Imizwa Vs. Ukukhipha Umoya: Umehluko, Izimpawu, Nezibonelo

2. Kunciphisa isikhala somuntu siqu kanye nokuzimela

Imibhangqwana enempilo igcina ubungane bayo, izinto zokuzilibazisa, kanye nemikhuba yabo. Ukunamathelana ngokuvamile kwenza umlingani angakhululeki ngalokhu kuzimela. Isibonelo, intombi enamathelayo ingase iphatheke kabi lapho umlingani wayo:

Uchitha isikhathi nabangani
Kugxile emsebenzini noma ezintweni ezithandwa ngumuntu siqu
Ujabulela imisebenzi ngaphandle kwakhe

Lokhu kuntuleka kwesikhala kungenza ubuhlobo buzizwe bunemingcele kunokuba bube obusekelanayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izibonelo Eziyi-9 Zemingcele Yemizwa Ebudlelwaneni

3. Kwakha amandla okuphishekela nokuhoxisa

Enye yezindlela ezivame kakhulu ezibangelwa ukunamathela umjikelezo wokuphishekela nokuhoxa.

Umlingani onamathelayo ufuna ukusondelana okwengeziwe kanye nokuqinisekiswa
Omunye umlingani uqala uzizwe ungakhululekile ebudlelwaneni bese idonsa
Umlingani onamathelayo usabela ngokufuna ukunakwa okwengeziwe

Lo mjikelezo ungaqinisa ukungazethembi futhi kancane kancane unciphise ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabalingani.

4. Kuholela ezinkingeni zokuthembana

Ukunamathelana kuvame ukuvela ekungazethembi noma ekwesabeni ukulahlwa. Ngenxa yalokho, umlingani onamathelana angase avame:

Buza ukwethembeka komlingani wabo
Buza ukuthi bakuphi
Noma ube nomona ngabangane kanye nozakwabo

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukusola njalo kungalimaza ukwethembana futhi kudale ingxabano engadingekile ebudlelwaneni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Angu-9 Okuthi Ungayilawula Kanjani Imizwa Yakho Ebudlelwaneni

5. Kunganciphisa ukukhanga ngokuhamba kwesikhathi

Nakuba uthando nokusondelana kubalulekile, ukuthembela ngokweqile ngezinye izikhathi kunganciphisa ukukhangana kothando. Abantu abaningi badonseleka kubalingani abanokuzethemba, ukuzimela, kanye nokuzizwa beqiniseka. Lapho omunye umlingani encika ngokomzwelo komunye ukuze athole injabulo, ubuhlobo bungase buqale ukuzizwa njengomthwalo wemfanelo kunokuba kube ubudlelwano.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyi-9 Okufanele Uzenze Lapho Ingxoxo Yonke Iphenduka Ingxabano

6. Kwandisa ukungezwani nokungaqondani

Ukunamathelana kungaholela ezimpikiswaneni ezivamile ngezindaba ezincane, njenge:

Izimpendulo zemiyalezo ezibambezelekile
Ukuchitha isikhathi ngokwehlukana
Ukusebenzelana nabanye abantu

Lokho okuqala njengesidingo sokuqinisekiswa kungagcina sekuphenduka izingxabano eziphindaphindayo eziba nzima ngokomzwelo kubo bobabili abalingani.

15 Izimpawu Zentombi Enamathelayo

Ingabe ubonisa izimpawu zokuthi intombi yakho ifuna ukunamathela? Uma kunjalo, udinga ukuqonda ukuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuba ngumuntu oswele ukuze ungamxoshi umlingani wakho. Lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi ube yintombi ethanda isikhathi sakhe futhi engadingi ukuqinisekiswa njalo. Nazi ezinye izici zentombi ethanda ukunamathela, kulandelwe amathiphu okuthi ungasweli kanjani kakhulu:

incazelo yokunamathela — Ukunamathela kuyabaxosha abantu

1. Awumniki isikhala

Ngisho noma kuzwakala kungakhululekile ukwamukela amaphutha obudlelwano bakho , ukuziqaphela kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokwenza ushintsho. Ukuze ufeze lokho, bheka ukuthi ungabhekana yini nezimpawu ezilandelayo eziyisixwayiso zowesifazane ophelelwe yithemba:

Uyintombi enamathele ngokweqile efuna ukuba umoya awuphefumulayo
Uhlale umbuza ukuthi ucabangani ngawe
Udinga isibuyekezo sokuthi ukuphi njalo emizuzwini emi-5
Ungena ekuthathekeni/ ekucabangeni ngokweqile uma eyeka ukuphendula emibhalweni yakho isikhashana

"Ukuze uhlole ukuthi uyintombi eqine kakhulu, qaphela indlela isoka lakho elisabela ngayo ezifisweni zakho, ezinhlelweni zakho, naseziphakamisweni zakho. Isibonelo, uma wenza uhlelo, ingabe luyalwamukela ngenhliziyo yonke ngoba luyesaba ukusabela kwakho bese luchitha sonke isikhathi salo efonini yalo esikhundleni sokugxila kuwe? Kungasho ukuthi unamathele futhi uzizwa ecindezelekile ebudlelwaneni,"
UJoie Bose, uMqeqeshi Wempilo.

Ukuxhumana kwakho nesoka lakho kungathuthuka kakhulu uma uqonda ukubaluleka kwesikhala ebudlelwaneni . Kancane kancane uzokuvumela ukuthi ungene kuleso sikhala sakhe somuntu siqu esingcwele kangaka. Yiba nesineke ngokwanele ukuze uvumele kwenzeke ngokwakho. Ungakucindezeli.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Isikhala Sibaluleke Kangaka Ebudlelwaneni?

2. Ukufuna ukukhuluma naye ngaso sonke isikhathi

Ukhumbula ngesigaba somshado wenu lapho ayengakwazi ukukugcina khona. Ubungaxoxa imini nobusuku futhi ulinde ngokulangazela isikhathi esilandelayo lapho nihlangana khona. Kodwa manje, akabonakali ejabule kakhulu ukukhuluma nawe futhi ubonakala engenandaba nokukhula kwakho ngokomzimba. Ungakuqonda? Nokho, ungase umcindezele kakhulu.

"Uma kukhona ingcindezi eqhubekayo evela ohlangothini lwakho yokuthi ukhulume futhi uxhumane, angase avale ifoni yakhe futhi angatholakali ngezinye izikhathi. Uzothi, vele, kwenzeke ngoba ifoni yakhe iphelelwe yibhethri kodwa kukhona indlela ethile kulokhu. Lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi udinga isikhathi sakhe kodwa akakwazi ukukutshela,"
– Joie Bose, Umqeqeshi Wempilo

3. Ufuna impilo yakhe yonke igxile kuwe

Ngemva kokungena ebudlelwaneni, abantu abaningi bayakhohlwa ukuthi basenempilo ehlukene. Entombini enamathelayo, lesi sidingo sokuhlanganisa sigqama nakakhulu. Nawa amaphethini athile aphakamisa ukuthi ulingane nalelo bhili:

Ufuna enze konke nawe kuphela
Ufuna ukuba ngowakhe okubaluleke kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi
Uyamphoqa ukuthi enze izinhlelo ngokwezifiso zakho
Nomaphi lapho eya khona, uyamlandela

intombi enamathele ngokweqile — Ungahlanganisi umuntu ekhejini elingakhululekile

4. Uncike kuye ngokweqile

“Uma unomuzwa wokuthi awukwazi ukwenza izinto ngaphandle komlingani wakho futhi umdinga ngaso sonke isikhathi eduze kwakhe, ngokuqinisekile kuwuphawu lokuthi uthembele kuye kakhulu futhi udinga ukuthola ukuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuswela.” Ngisho noma engasho lokho, usuke uyintombi esondelene ngokweqile,” kusho uJoie, futhi wenezela ukuthi ezinye zezimpawu eziphambili zentombi ezingavikelekile zihlanganisa:

Ukuphila kwakho konke kuzungeza isoka lakho futhi ulindele okufanayo kuye
Usukhohliwe ukuthi impilo yakho yayinjani ngaphambi kwakhe
Ukwenza noma yini ngaphandle kwakhe kukwenza uzizwe unovalo
Umbiza ukuthi azoxazulula zonke izinkinga ezincane empilweni yakho

Uma ungakabi nesiqiniseko sokuthi wenza ngokubambelela ebudlelwaneni, mhlawumbe naka ukuthi kungakanani lobu budlelwano obuhambisana nezidingo zakho, izinto ozifunayo, kanye nezifiso zakho. Uma uncika esokeni lakho kuzo zonke izidingo zakho - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zikhulu noma zincane kangakanani - futhi akanayo inketho ngaphandle kokuthobela, nakanjani udinga ukuthola ukuthi ungabambelela kanjani.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Ngithandana Kalula Kangaka? Izizathu Eziyi-9 Ezingenzeka Nezindlela Zokuyeka

5. Konke ukunaka kwakhe kufanele kube kuwe

Ukulindela uthando ebudlelwaneni kungokwemvelo. Kodwa ukufuna ukunakwa ngaso sonke isikhathi akunjalo. Ekuqaleni, isoka lakho lingase likuthole lihle. Kodwa ukufuna ukunakwa njalo ekugcineni kuyomkhungathekisa futhi kumkhungathekise. Nawa amaphethini okuziphatha okuphethe:

Ufuna ukuthi akunake ngokuphelele
Ngisho naye ekhuluma ngenye intombazane uyacasuka futhi usolise
Uzizwa sengathi kufanele uhlale usemqondweni wakhe sengathi ukuwe

"Uma injabulo yakho nokudabuka kwakho kuncike ekutheni unikeza isikhathi esingakanani, kuyisibonakaliso sentombi enamathelayo futhi lokho akukuhle kini nobabili. Uma ucasuka futhi udabuke lapho ekhetha ukuchitha isikhathi nabanye futhi eqala ukuzibuza ngokubaluleka kwakho empilweni yakhe, khona-ke ubuhlobo benu abuqinile futhi ukumbuza njalo ngakho kuzomenza abe nolaka ngawe! Lokhu AKUSIYO impilo,"
– Joie Bose, Umqeqeshi Wempilo

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Ukuba Nobugovu Okungabubulala Ngayo Ubuhlobo Bakho

6. Uba nokusola

Umngane wami uSarah wangitshela isifuba ngelinye ilanga wabuza, “Ingabe nginamathela kakhulu? Ngihlala ngiphila ngokwesaba ukuthi uzongishiya.” Lapho engitshela lokhu, ngaqaphela ukuthi ukuzizwa uswele kungayilimaza kakhulu impilo yengqondo yomuntu . Naphezu kwalokhu, kungaba nzima ukuthola ukuthi ungawuyeka kanjani lo mkhuba futhi uyeke ukubonisa izimpawu zokungazethembi kwentombi, okuhlanganisa:

Ukungazi ukuthi umaqondana wakho ukuphi kukwenza usolise
Zonke izinhlobo zemicabango nemibono eyinqaba idlula emqondweni wakho
Ukumesaba ukuthi uyakopela kukwenza ube nendida
Uqala ukumphenya ngemibuzo
Awumkholwa ngisho noma ekhuluma iqiniso futhi elokhu efuna ubufakazi

Ngisho noma ngaphakathi enhliziyweni uyazi ukuthi izenzo zakhe azibhekwa njengokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni , awukwazi ukuyeka imizwa yakho yokungazethembi kanye nokwesaba ukuthi isoka lakho lizokulimaza futhi likuphule inhliziyo. Ukusola njalo kuyisici esikhulu. Kuzomdedisela kude nakakhulu njengoba eqala ukubona lezi zimpawu zentombi enamathela kuwe futhi angase acabange nokuqeda ubuhlobo.

7. Uhlale ucabanga ngaye

Kuyinto enhle ukuhlanya ngomlingani wakho. Kodwa ngokugxila wonke amandla akho kuye nasebuhlotsheni bakho, unciphisa isikhala sokukhula kwakho futhi kungenzeka ukuthi awunayo impilo ngaphandle kobudlelwano.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nokuphila okungagxili esokeni lakho
Empeleni, ubudlelwano obunempilo zakhiwa ngokulondoloza ibhalansi phakathi kokuphila kwenu njengomuntu ngamunye kanye nempilo yenu eniyihlanganyelayo njengombhangqwana
Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi awubanaki abangani bakho nomndeni wakho ngenkathi usebudlelwaneni

Usazama ukuqonda incazelo yokunamathela ebudlelwaneni? Nasi isibonelo: Ngisho noma uyothenga nabangani bakho, ulokhu uthumela imiyalezo yentombi enamathelayo futhi ushayela isoka lakho futhi awube ubekhona ngokugcwele okwamanje. Uma lokho kuzwakala kujwayelekile, udinga ukuthola ukuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuba yintombi enamathelayo.

Isinyathelo sokuqala kulokho ukwenza umzamo oqotho wokuba lapho kubangani bakho nomndeni wakho futhi futhi utshale isikhathi esengeziwe emsebenzini wakho, izinto zokuzilibazisa, kanye nezinkanuko. Gxila ekuvezeni izimpawu zowesifazane ozethembayo esikhundleni sokuba intombi egabadelayo.

Career
Ukuzilibazisa
Nezinkanuko

Gxila ekuvezeni izimpawu zowesifazane ozethembayo esikhundleni sokuba intombi eqine kakhulu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezi-5 Abesilisa Abazenzayo Ukuze Benze Owesifazane Azizwe Engavikelekile

8. Ukungazethembi kungena ngokunyenya

Uma ekhethe ukuba nawe, kusobala ukuthi ubalulekile. Uma uqhubeka ufuna ukuqinisekiswa ngale ndlela, kungalimaza isisekelo sokuxhumana okwabelana ngakho nesoka lakho. Kodwa kumuntu obonisa ukuziphatha okunamathelayo, lesi sidingo sokuqinisekiswa ngokomzwelo singaba phezulu kakhulu.

Ungase ukuthole kunzima ukubhekana neqiniso lokuthi isoka lakho lizoba nezinto ezibalulekile empilweni yalo njengoba nawe unjalo futhi ngezinye izikhathi, umsebenzi, abangani nomndeni kuzoba yinto eza kuqala kunawe. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi lokhu kungazethembi kuvelaphi ukuze uvimbele izingxabano futhi uthole ukuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuswela.

Intombi enamathelayo ivame ukuba ne isitayela sokunamathisela esingavikelekile
Ngisho noma bekungomunye umfana endaweni yakhe, cishe, ubuyoziphatha ngendlela efanayo ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Kufanele uzibophezele ekubhekeni ngaphakathi futhi ubeke imingcele enempilo
Kufanele wenze umsebenzi odingekayo ukuze uphule lawa maphethini angenampilo ongazange abambe cala engqondweni yakho.

infographic ngentombi enamathelayo — Izimpawu Ukuthi Uyintombi Enamathelayo

9. Unomona wokuthi uphila ngaphandle kwakho

Uma ungowesifazane onamathelayo, kungenzeka ukuthi uba nomona ngabangane besoka lakho kanye nokuphila komphakathi, okuholela

Ukushaywa kabi
Iziphakamiso
Futhi izimpi ezigcwele

Lokhu kungase kuqale ukuthinta indlela abantu abaseduze naye abakubona ngayo.

Qaphela indlela abangani bakhe abaziphatha ngayo lapho beseduze nawe. Uma iqembu labafana bakhe liyeka ukukhuluma bese liqala ukuziphatha ngendlela ehlelekile ngesikhathi ungena, lokho kusho ukuthi uziphatha ngendlela ethile phambi kwakho nangendlela ehlukile kubo. Njengoba uyintombazane enamathelayo futhi mhlawumbe uzobuza kakhulu, ukhetha ukukufihla izinhlangothi ezithile zobuntu bakhe kuwe,”
– Joie Bose, Umqeqeshi Wempilo

Umona ungadala isidingo sokuhlala uzulazula phezu kwesoka lakho futhi ulandelele yonke iminyakazo yakhe. Ngenxa yalokho, ungaqala ukubonisa lokhu kuziphatha:

Ukhetha ukulwa uma enza izinhlelo ngaphandle kwakho
Unomona ngaye ejabulela impilo ngaphandle kwakho
Umenza akhethe phakathi kwakho nabangani bakhe
Uze uzame nokucekela phansi izinhlelo zakhe futhi uzifake ngamandla kuzo

Ngakho-ke, uyabona ukuthi ukucela ukunakwa kungaba yingozi kangakanani. Unamathela esokeni lakho ngethemba lokusondela kulo nokuqinisekisa ukuthi alikushiyi, kodwa phakathi naleso sikhathi, uyalixosha nje. Ungase ungamazi nokuthi ungubani ngempela. Ungathemba kanjani ukwakha ubuhlobo obude nobanelisayo nalo?

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungabhekana Kanjani Nomona Ebudlelwaneni?

10. Unempahla

Zonke izintombi zinobugovu kancane ngomyeni wazo kodwa okuningi kakhulu kungasho inhlekelele ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa wazi kanjani ukuthi ukuba nobugovu kungakanani ngokweqile? Ungazi kanjani ukuthi ukuba nobugovu kungakanani ? Bheka ukuthi lezi zimo ezilandelayo zihlobene yini:

Ingxoxo evamile phakathi kwesoka lakho nomngane wesifazane ikwenza ufune ukukhipha amehlo entombazane
Awugcini nje ngokubhalela umlingani wakho kabili noma kathathu, kodwa umthumelela inqwaba yemibhalo enamathelayo njengokuthi “Kungani ungiziba?!”, “Ulapho???????”, “Kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi ungaphenduli?!”
Uyacasuka uma umlingani wakho ehleka nomuntu osebenza naye
Uyasho ukuthi umlingani wakho angakwazi futhi angakwazi ukuhlanganyela naye, okuyi-a uphawu lokuzivikela ngokweqile

Uma unamandla kakhulu okuphatha abanye, udinga ukufunda ukulawula izifiso zakho kanye nokusabela kwakho. Yeka ukukhathazeka kakhulu ngomlingani wakho ngokuzikhumbuza njalo ukuthi uyingxenye yempilo yakho hhayi impilo yakho uqobo. Ukuze ubeke imingcele, kufanele ukwazi ukumethemba umlingani wakho futhi uqonde ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uzoxhumana nabobulili obuhlukile futhi abe nabangane abaseduze abangabesifazane. Umona ongenangqondo kanye nokuphatha abanye akunandawo ebudlelwaneni obuhle.

abesifazane abaswele — Owesifazane wangempela ugxila kulokho anakho futhi alungise okungakuthandi

11. Utholakala kakhulu

Uma isoka lakho seliyinto ebalulekile empilweni yakho, ubonisa esinye sezibonakaliso eziyingozi kakhulu zentombi . Uma lokho kwenzeka, abangani bakho, umndeni wakho, ngisho nomsebenzi wakho uba yinto yesibili. Ngakho-ke, uma ungumuntu ongalahla umngane ngomzuzu wokugcina ngoba nje isoka lakho licele i-coffee date noma liqede isethulo somsebenzi ngoba liphakamise ukuthi 'Netflix and chill', usufiphaze imigqa phakathi kokunamathelana nothando.

Ukuhlala ekhona ukuze amsize kuzomenza akuthathe kalula
Uzokwazi ukuthi uzohlala uzinika isikhathi sakhe
Ngakho-ke uzokwenza izinhlelo ngesikhathi esivumelana naye kuphela futhi angesabi ukukukhansela ngomzuzu wokugcina.

Nansi indlela ongazibekela ngayo imingcele enempilo futhi uyeke ukunamathela ebudlelwaneni:

Zazi ukuzethemba kwakho futhi umenze akubone lokho
Ungamfaki ngaphezu kwawo wonke umuntu nakho konke
Ungabeki impilo yakho kuye
Ungashintshi izinhlelo zakho njengokunethezeka nokutholakala kwakhe

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12. Intombi enamathelayo idinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo

Umngane wami uPaul wavuma, “Intombi yami ihlale ifuna ukukhuluma. Futhi uma ngingatholakali, ngihlangabezwa nenqwaba yemibhalo yentombi enamathelayo, ehlala iholela ekuxabaneni nasekulweni. Ingabe sikhona isisombululo kulokhu?” Kungenze ngaqonda ukuthi ukunamathela akuyona nje into ethile oyithola imnandi. Kungaba yisici esinobuthi futhi kuthinte ukuthula kwengqondo komlingani wakho. Zindla ngale mibuzo elandelayo ukuze uthole ukuthi unamathela ngokweqile yini njengesibonelo esingenhla:

Ulibuza kaningi isoka lakho ukuthi liyakuthanda yini?
Ingabe uyaqhubeka umpha izipho futhi ulindele ukuba akuphindiselele njengendlela yokubonisa uthando lwakhe?
Ingabe uthola noma yikuphi ukuqinisekiswa akunikeza kona ngokuhluleka?

Kuhlala kukhona ukungabaza engqondweni yakho ngemizwa yakhe 'yeqiniso'. Uma uhlala uzizwa ngale ndlela futhi kube nezimo ezibonisa ukuthi uzenza sengathi uyakuthanda , sekuyisikhathi sokukhulumisana ngokukhululekile. Kodwa-ke, uma ukwesaba kwakho kuyimbangela yezimpawu zakho ezinobuthi, udinga ukuhlolisisa ngokujulile kulezo zinsolo nokungaqiniseki.

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13. Ukuzinyeza

“Ngenzeni ukuze ngithole umuntu omangalisayo njengawe?” Ingabe lokhu kuyinto ovame ukuyisho nesoka lakho?

Ucabanga ukuthi awumfanele?
Ucabanga ukuthi muhle kakhulu kuwe?
Lo mbono ungase usekelwe emqondweni wakho wokubaluleka. Ukuzenyeza nokungazethembi kuvame ukuhambisana
Umlingani onamathelayo ulwa nokungaqiniseki njalo kanye nenkulumo yokuzihlambalaza

Uma ungumuntu onjalo, unamathela kukho konke ocabanga ukuthi kungenza ubuhlobo buphumelele ngoba usaba ukuthi uzothola ongcono futhi akushiye. Ukube ubungamfanele, ubengeke akhethe ukuba nawe. Kodwa usekwenzile. Lokho kukodwa kuyisiqinisekiso esanele sokuthi ungakhathazeki ngokuthi uyakulahla.

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14. Uzingela izinkundla zokuxhumana

Ama-akhawunti ezinkundla zokuxhumana ayindlela enhle yokuqoqa ulwazi oluwusizo ngempela mayelana nempilo yesoka lakho. Isithombe sibiza amagama ayinkulungwane kanjalo namazwana kuwo. Kodwa kuthiwani ngokucupha abangane bakhe, abangane babangane, nabangane babangane babangane bakhe? Ingabe usufike ezingeni lapho ucupha wonke ama-akhawunti okungenzeka ahlobene ukude nesoka lakho ukuze nje wazi ukuthi ngamunye umi kuphi empilweni yakhe? Khona-ke udinga ukuthola ukuthi ungabambelela kanjani.

Sonke sinecala lokusebenzisa ubusuku bokungalali kahle ngokuphequlula kozakwethu social media noma ngisho nalabo ababengabalingani babo
Kodwa uma lo mkhuba uqhubeka ungalawuleki, kuba yindaba esobala lapho ubonisa izimpawu zentombi elawulayo
Ngisho nokuphambuka okuncane kulokho okubona njengomsebenzi owamukelekayo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana zesoka lakho kungakwenza uzizwe ukhathazekile, uphatheke kabi futhi uthukuthele.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-11 Zokuthi Unomfazi Ozithanda Kakhulu

15. Ulokhu ufuna ukuhlangana nabazali bakhe

Ukufuna ukuhlangana nabazali bakhe uma usebudlelwaneni obuqinile akumangazi noma akujwayelekile. Ubaluleke kakhulu kuwe futhi kungokwemvelo ukuthi ungathanda ukwazi nokwakha ubuhlobo nabazali bakhe. Kodwa kunesikhathi nendawo yalokho, futhi kuwukuhlakanipha ukuvumela ubuhlobo buguquke ngokwemvelo kuze kube yilapho efuna ukuhlangana nabazali bakhe.

Uma uhlala umncenga ukuthi akuyise ukuyohlangana nabazali bakhe ekuqaleni kobudlelwano uma ningakaxoxi ngekusasa, akulona uphawu oluhle futhi ngeke kumangaze uma lokhu kumenza abuyele emuva.
Ukuhlangana nabazali kuyisinyathelo esikhulu angase angakulungeli ukusithatha
Ngakho-ke mthembe uma ekutshela ukuthi uzokwenza uma esekulungele
Ungamniki isikhathi esinzima bese uvumela inqubo ithathe isikhathi esisidingayo

Uthando Olunempilo	Ukuziphatha Okunamathelayo
Uyahlonipha isikhala somuntu siqu futhi uyaqonda ukuthi abalingani badinga isikhathi sokuhlala bodwa.	Akumniki umlingani isikhala futhi ufuna ubunye obuhlala njalo.
Iveza ukwethembana futhi igwema ukuqapha ngokweqile imisebenzi yomlingani.	Uvame ukucela izibuyekezo mayelana nokuthi umlingani ukuphi kanye nemisebenzi yakhe.
Uyaqonda ukuthi izimpendulo ezibambezelekile ziyenzeka futhi akesabi ngenxa yezikhala zokuthumela imiyalezo.	Ucabanga ngokweqile noma akhathazeke uma imiyalezo noma izingcingo zingaphendulwa ngokushesha.
Ugcina ukuzimela futhi angasebenza ngokomzwelo ngaphandle kokusekelwa njalo.	Uba ngumuntu othembela kakhulu kumlingani wakhe ukuze athole ukuzinza ngokomzwelo kanye nezinqumo zansuku zonke.
Ulinganisela izidingo zomuntu siqu nezidingo zomlingani ebudlelwaneni.	Ulindele ukuthi ubudlelwano bugxile ezidingweni zakhe ezingokomzwelo.
Uyamethemba umlingani futhi ugwema ukusola njalo.	Ngokuvamile usola ukukopela noma ukungathembeki ngaphandle kobufakazi.
Ugxile ekujabuleleni isikhathi nabangani, umndeni, kanye nezinto ozithandayo.	Ngihlala ngithumela imiyalezo noma ngishayela umlingani wami ucingo ngisho nalapho ngichitha isikhathi nabanye abantu.
Usekela impilo yokuxhumana nomlingani kanye nobungane bakhe.	Uba nomona ngabangane bomlingani noma ngemisebenzi yokuxhumana nabantu.
Ivumela umlingani ukuthi agcine ubumfihlo kanye nemingcele yomuntu siqu.	Uzizwa enelungelo lokwazi yonke imininingwane yezingxoxo noma izinhlelo zomlingani.
Ugcina ibhalansi yemizwa ngisho noma ehlukene nomlingani wakhe.	Uzizwa engakhululekile noma engajabule uma umlingani engekho.
Ugcina izinto azithandayo, egxile emsebenzini, kanye nobungane.	Uba ngumuntu otholakala kakhulu futhi agxile ngokuphelele empilweni yomlingani wakhe.
Uzizwa ephephile ebudlelwaneni futhi akafuni ukuqinisekiswa njalo.	Udinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo ngothando nokuzibophezela.
Unesithunzi esinempilo kanye nokuzethemba.	Ulwa nokuzethemba okuphansi kanye nokungazethembi.
Usebenzisa izinkundla zokuxhumana ngokujwayelekile ngaphandle kokucabanga kakhulu ngokuxhumana komlingani wakhe.	Uhlola imisebenzi yomlingani ezinkundleni zokuxhumana futhi aqaphe imibono noma okuthandiwe.
Wakha ubudlelwano kancane kancane ngaphandle kokuphoqa izinyathelo ezibalulekile.	Ucindezela izinyathelo zobudlelwano obukhulu ngokushesha, njengokuhlangana nabazali kusenesikhathi.

Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukuba Intombi Enamathelayo?

Kungenzeka ukuthi awukaze uqaphele izindlela zokuziphatha eziyinkinga kuze kube manje kodwa lezi zimpawu kungenzeka ukuthi zikusizile ukuthi ubone izindlela oziphatha ngazo njengentombi enamathelayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi usuqaphele nokuthi ukubhekana nohlobo lomlingani wakho akulula. Ngokushesha noma kamuva, kuzoholela ekukhathaleni kobudlelwano , kushiye isoka lakho lingenakukhetha ngaphandle kokuhlola kabusha ikusasa lalo nawe.

Siyaqiniseka uma uthole lezi zimpawu zowesifazane ophelelwe yithemba zihlobene kakhulu, ufuna izimpendulo zokuthi ungabi yintombi eswele. Izinto zokuqala kuqala, ukuze ugweme ukunamathela, udinga ukuzibophezela ekwenzeni umsebenzi odingekayo ukuze uphule amaphethini akho okunamathiselwe futhi uxazulule ukungazethembi kwakho okuyisisekelo kanye nezinkinga zokuzethemba. Ukukusiza ukuthi uqalise, nanka amathiphu asheshayo okuthi unganamathela kanjani kakhulu ebuhlotsheni:

1. Gcina kude

Akudingeki ukuthi uthumele imiyalezo noma ushayele ucingo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Mvumele akushayele ucingo kuqala ngezinye izikhathi. Kuzomenza akukhumbule kakhulu futhi kukusize ukuthi uthole kabusha inhlansi . Kuzokwazisa nokuthi uzimisele yini ukwenza umzamo omkhulu njengawe.

2. Yiba nemfihlakalo

Gcina ezinye izici zempilo yakho ziyisimangaliso ukuze azihlole. Ungamtsheli konke ngokushesha.

Amadoda ayabathanda abesifazane abanomoya wemfihlakalo obazungezile
Menze afune ukuveza izimfihlo zakho
Menze akufise

3. Imingcele

“Beka imingcele futhi uqiniseke ukuthi awuyiqedi. Zibophezele ekuqiniseni imingcele yakho ngokukhulumisana okucacile nokuhlonipha eyabalingani bakho,” kweluleka uJoie. Nazi ezinye zezibonelo zemingcele enempilo :

Kufanele uxhumane kaningi kangakanani
Imaphi amagama eningabizana ngawo
Udinga isikhathi esingakanani ebudlelwaneni

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4. Zenzele izinto

“Ingabe uchitha isikhathi nabangani bakho/nomndeni wakho ngaphandle komlingani wakho futhi uyakujabulela? Uma kungenjalo, yiba nosuku njalo ngesonto lapho wenza lokho, futhi cha, ungathumeli imiyalezo noma ubuyekeze umlingani wakho ngaleso sikhathi. Phishekela into yokuzilibazisa noma ubeke isikhathi esikhululekile esingenamsebenzi kumlingani wakho futhi ukhuthaze umlingani wakho ukuba enze okufanayo ukuze akhulise isikhala ebudlelwaneni benu ,” kusho uJoie.

5. Mnike isikhala

Yamukela futhi uphinde uzitshele ukuthi awukwazi ukumenza ahlale empilweni yakho ngokumelene nesifiso sakhe ngokunamathela kuye. Udinga ukumethemba futhi umnikeze isikhala esengeziwe ukuze athuthuke njengomuntu othandana naye.

6. Ungamfaki kukho konke

Akakwazi ukuba yingxenye yazo zonke izici zempilo yakho, ngakho ungakuphoqi. “Yeka ukutshela umuntu othandana naye izimfihlo zomngane wakho (uma unamathela, cishe wenza lokhu) ngoba akanabo ubudlelwano obufanayo naye njengowenu.” Ngithembe, maningi amathuba okuthi naye angakuthandi,” kusho uJoie.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Ingabe ukunamathela kuyifulege elibomvu?

Ukunamathela kungaba yinto ekhathazayo, kodwa akulona uphawu olubi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Isidingo sokuqinisekiswa ngezikhathi ezithile sivamile ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, lapho ukunamathela kuba njalo—njengokudinga ukunakwa okuqhubekayo, ukuzizwa ukhathazekile ngesikhathi ungekho ndawonye, noma ukulawula imisebenzi yomlingani—kungabonisa ukungazethembi noma ukuthembela okungenampilo okungase kuphazamise ubuhlobo.

2. Ingabe ukuziphatha kokunamathela kungalungiswa?

Yebo, ukuziphatha okunamathelayo kungathuthuka ngokuzazi nokuzikhandla. Ukwakha ukuzethemba komuntu siqu, ukuthuthukisa izintshisekelo ezizimele, nokufunda ukuxhumana okunempilo kunganciphisa ukuthembela ngokweqile kumlingani. Kwezinye izimo, ukuqonda amaphethini okunamathela noma ukufuna isiqondiso kudokotela wezokwelapha kungasiza abantu ngabanye ukuphatha ukukhathazeka kobudlelwano futhi bakhe ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo okulinganiselayo.

3. Ingabe ukubambelela kubangelwa ukuhlukumezeka?

Ukunamathelana ngezinye izikhathi kungavela kokuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule njengokunganakwa ngokomzwelo, ukulahlwa, noma ukukhashelwa ebuhlotsheni bangaphambilini. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kungadala ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa umlingani, okuholela ekufuneni isiqinisekiso njalo. Kodwa-ke, ukunamathelana akubangelwa njalo ukuhlukumezeka; kungabangelwa futhi ukuzihlonipha okuphansi, izitayela zokunamathelana ezikhathazayo, noma ukuntuleka kokuvikeleka kobudlelwano.

Izikhombi Ezibalulekile

Ukunamathela ngokuvamile kuyisici sobuntu esisekelwe kwisitayela sokunamathela esingavikelekile, ukuzethemba okuphansi, noma ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okudlule.
Uma uyintombi enamathelayo, maningi amathuba okuthi wenze isoka lakho laba ukuphela kwento ogxile kuyo empilweni yakho, futhi kwelinye izinga, umcasuke ngokungakwenzi okufanayo - lokhu kungamenza afune ukuziqhelelanisa nawe.
Ukudebeselela umsebenzi wakho, abangani, umndeni, ngisho nezidingo zakho, izimfuno, izifiso, izifiso, namathemba ngenxa yomlingani wakho kuyisici esichazayo sokunamathela.
Ukuthuthukisa ukuzazi kwamaphethini akho nokuthola usizo oludingekayo ukuze uwaphule kungakusiza ukuba usuke kulokhu kuguquguquka okungenampilo uye ebudlelwaneni obunempilo.

Imicabango Final

Njengoba sesiphinde sasho ngokuphindaphindiwe, izimpawu zentombi enamathelayo zisekelwe esitayeleni sokunamathelana okukhathazayo nokungavumelani. Njengoba lezi zindlela zibuyela emuva eminyakeni yakho yokukhula kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana, ungase untule ulwazi kanye namathuluzi adingekayo okugqashula kuzo. Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuyindlela enempilo kakhulu yokugqashula lezi zindlela eziyinkinga bese uzishintsha ngendlela ephelele yokuphila, ubudlelwano, kanye nemizwa. Uma ufuna usizo, abeluleki abanekhono nabanamalayisense eqenjini lochwepheshe beBonoblogy balapha ukuze bakusize.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.