Ingabe Ukwelulekwa Ngomshado Kuyasebenza Ekuxazululeni Izinkinga Zobudlelwano?

Ingabe ukwelulekwa ngomshado kuyasebenza? Imibhangqwana eminingi ezama ukwelulekwa ngemishado ithola ukuthi iye yabasiza ukuba baxazulule izingxabano zabo futhi bathuthukise ubuhlobo babo. Kuyazuzisa ukufuna ukwelulekwa kwabashadikazi uma udaba luncane futhi lungaxazululeka.

Uma umbhangqwana ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima noma unomehluko omkhulu wemibono, ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano kungabasiza ukuba babhekane nesimo esibucayi ngendlela esebenzayo nenempilo.

Inqubo yokwelulekwa ngomshado ingaba eyesikhashana noma eyesikhathi eside kodwa iyasiza ukufeza izinhloso umbhangqwana ababefuna ukuzifeza lapho bethatha isinqumo sokufuna usizo lwangaphandle. Ukwelulekwa kwabashadile kungabusindisa ngempela ubuhlobo.

Uchwepheshe wezifo zengqondo UDkt. Rima Mukherjee ubelokhu eluleka imibhangqwana iminyaka engu-20 edlule futhi ubala izindlela ezingu-10 ukwelulekwa ngomshado okungasiza ngazo umshado wakho nobudlelwano.

Ingabe Ukwelulekwa Kwabashadikazi Kungasindisa Ubudlelwano?

Ukwelulekwa kwabashadile kungasiza ngempela ekukhipheni ama-creases angabangela izinkinga ebuhlotsheni. Lapho imibhangqwana ixoxa nomeluleki ndawonye, ​​iba nombono omusha ngobuhlobo bayo. Umeluleki omuhle ungenza imibhangqwana ikhulume futhi ixoxe ngezinkinga, ayisize iqonde imibono yomunye nomunye.

Ukuze uhlole amanzi, ungazama amaseshini okwelapha imibhangqwana ekhaya futhi ubone lapho abakuholela khona. Yebo, kuhle kakhulu uma lezi zivivinyo zenziwa ngokutuswa noma ngaphansi kokugadwa uchwepheshe onekhono. Abantu abaningi bayakugwema ukuya ekwelashweni ngoba bathola ithemba lokuthulula izinhliziyo zabo kumuntu abangamazi linzima kakhulu. Imvamisa, umbono wabo wakheka ngaphandle kokuqonda ngempela ukuthi ukwelapha kuhilelani.

Ngakho-ke, ake sizame ukukushintsha lokho ngombono obanzi wokuthi yini ongayilindela ekwelashweni kwabashadikazi. Umeluleki ngokuvamile uqala ngokubuza imibuzo eminingana ezohlanganisa umlando wengane, umlando wobudlelwane bakho nazo zonke izizathu onqume ngazo ukufuna ukwelashwa.

Kufanele uphendule imibuzo ngokwethembeka. Kusukela lapho kuya phambili, kumayelana nokukhuluma ngemicabango okungenzeka ukuthi ubumanqikanqika ukuyixoxa nowakwakho ngoba unomuzwa wokuthi iyacasula, ayilungile ngokwepolitiki noma ilimaza ubudlelwano benu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, bobabili abalingani kufanele bahlale benengqondo evulekile futhi balalelisise lapho omunye ekhuluma.

Qaphela ukuthi ukwelashwa kwabashadile kungasiza ukulungisa umshado ophukile inqobo nje uma uzimisele ukushintsha. Ngokuvamile imibhangqwana imelana noshintsho; yilapho umsebenzi womeluleki uba nzima kakhulu.

Umeluleki angabuyekeza intuthuko yakho, akunike umsebenzi wesikole kodwa kufanele ukhuthale emizamweni yakho. Ngakho ingabe ukwelulekwa kwabashadile kuyasebenza? Nokho, kunezindlela ezithile ezingashintsha ngazo ubudlelwano bakho bube ngcono.

Izindlela Eziyi-10 Zokwelulekwa Ngomshado Ezizosiza Abashadile

UDkt Mukherjee usinika izeluleko ezibalulekile zokweluleka ngemishado futhi usitshela ngokucacile ukuthi umuntu kufanele asisebenzise nini futhi kanjani ukwelulekwa ngomshado.

Kungase kube nezinkinga emshadweni abangase bazishoshele ngaphansi kukakhaphethi ezingalungiswa futhi zixazululwe. Ingabe ukwelulekwa ngomshado kuyasebenza? Nazi izindlela eziyi-10 engenza ngazo:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 9 Izinzuzo Ezifakazelwe Zokwelulekwa - Ungahlupheki Ngokuthula

1. Ukwelulekwa ngomshado kungasiza ekwenzeni izinguquko

Namuhla, imishado eminingi iyabhidlika phakathi nezinyanga ezimbalwa. Lokhu kwenzeka ngisho nalapho abantu bezikhethela abalingani babo bempilo futhi behlala ezindaweni zokumisa izikhali zenuzi. Imisebenzi elula yokuhlela njengokuthi ukwenza kanjani ukuhlukanisa umsebenzi wasekhaya kungase kuqhume izimpi ezigcwele njengoba iphupho langaphambi komshado lingabonakali njengento engokoqobo.

Kunokuba niqhubeke nixabana futhi nixabene ngezinkinga ezingaxazululeka kalula, kungcono kakhulu ukubonana nomeluleki wemishado futhi nixazulule izinkinga zamazinyo.

2. Xazulula izinkinga nabasemzini

Lezi zithathwa njengezinkinga ezijwayelekile wonke umuntu anazo futhi kulindeleke ukuthi azixazulule ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kuphela, abakwenzi. Imishado eminingi namuhla iyahlukana onyakeni wokuqala ngenxa yokungezwani nabasemzini. Inkinga eyodwa evamile ukugxambukela empilweni kamakoti omusha (uma kufanele asebenze/angasebenzi/akhetha izingubo/indlela yokuphila).

Kungenzeka ukuthi nabazali bentombazane bayagxambukela, bashiye umbhangqwana osemusha ukhungathekile futhi bangase bakhiphe intukuthelo ngomunye nomunye. Izinhlelo zokululeka ngemishado ziyasiza kuleso simo.

Okunye okuthakazelisayo okuphawulwe kuye kwaba ukuthi ngokuvamile lapho abayeni abasha besho noma benza okuthile kunkosikazi omusha, bazwakala njengonina (bahlale bemchema naye). Iqiniso liwukuthi, phela umama wamkhulisa futhi wakha imicabango yakhe iminyaka, ngakho-ke lokhu kuzokwenzeka.

Kodwa unkosikazi omusha akakwazi ukukwamukela. Futhi, indoda ihlale ilindele ukuba enze zonke izinto unina ayezenza njengokupheka, ukugcina ikhaya elimnandi ne-span. Angakuqapheli ukuthi umama wakhe ubengaba wumnikazi wekhaya kanti umkakhe ubengumuntu wesifazane osebenzayo.

Uma bengathola umeluleki wemishado ongabachazela lokhu njengomuntu ongathathi hlangothi, inkosikazi noma umyeni akasala ephatheke kabi ngenxa yokungaqondi. Khona-ke umeluleki angabasiza ukuba baxazulule izinkinga zangempela.

3. Ukwelulekwa kwabashadile kuyasiza uma kukhona ukungahambisani ngokocansi

Ukungavunyelwa kwengxoxo ngocansi kuholela ekutheni imibhangqwana ithule iminyaka ngezinkinga zocansi. Kulapho ingcindezi yokuba nengane ingenakugwenywa lapho ekugcineni lezi zinkinga ziqashelwa futhi zixazululwe.

Kulokhu, izinkinga zocansi zingabandakanya umehluko ezifisweni zocansi, ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile, ukubanda, ukuba umlutha wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile nokunye. Ukungabikho kokusondelana ngokocansi kungashiya omunye noma bobabili abalingani bekhungathekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi kwenze ubudlelwano bube bushabalala.

Ukwelulekwa ngemishado yabashadikazi kanye nokuvakashela ochwepheshe bezocansi kuyadingeka. Kuyosiza umbhangqwana ukuba uqonde futhi uxazulule izinkinga futhi uphile ukuphila komshado okwanelisayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 20 Imibuzo Yokwelulekwa Ngaphambi Komshado Okufanele Uyibuze Ngaphambi Komshado

4. Ukwelulekwa kungawuqeda umthelela wokungathembeki

Abashadikazi kumele nakanjani bafune ukwelulekwa uma kuke kwaba nokuqonywa bese benquma ukuqhubeka nomshado bawunikeze ithuba lesibili. Kokubili umlingani okhohlisayo kanye nalowo okhohlisiwe kudingeka bafunde ukuthi bangaqhubeka kanjani futhi basize yakha kabusha ukwethenjwa okulahlekile emshadweni.

Uzakwethu okhohliswe naye uzodinga ukufunda ukuthi angadlulela kanjani ekuthukutheleni nasebuhlungu. Okubaluleke kakhulu, umeluleki uzosiza umbhangqwana ukuthi ufinyelele isizathu esenza ukuthi umshado uphumelele kwasekuqaleni.

5. Abeluleki bomndeni bayasiza ekubhekaneni nezinselele zokukhulisa izingane

Inani elikhulu ngokumangalisayo lemibhangqwana emisha ibhekana nokuphazamiseka okukhulu empilweni yabo yomshado uma indlela yabo yokuba umzali ihlukile.

Ngokwesibonelo, omunye umzali angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ingane iyavilapha futhi idinga nje uthando oluqinile kuyilapho omunye umzali engase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ingane imane idinga othile abangamvulela isifuba. Umshado nobudlelwano kungathinteka kakhulu ngalezi zindlela ezahlukene zokukhulisa ingane.

Ezimweni ezinjalo, bobabili abalingani baqhubeka benza amaphutha amakhulu okukhulisa izingane. Abazi ukuthi bangayilungisa kanjani noma babhekane nezinselele zokukhulisa ingane ezweni elinezintambo zobuchwepheshe. Ukungezwani okunjalo kungabangela izingxabano futhi izingxabano zasekhaya zingathinta kokubili umntwana nomshado. Lesi yisikhathi okumele umuntu afune ukwelulekwa ngaso.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 12 Imithetho Yokukhuliswa Ngokuhlanganyela Kwabashadile Abahlukanisile

6. Imilutha ingaxazululeka

Noma yiluphi uhlobo lokulutheka lungalimaza umshado ngokungathi sína. Utshwala/izidakamizwa ziholela ezinkingeni ezengeziwe njengezinkinga zezimali ekhaya, ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi, ubudlova, ukuqamba amanga. Ukwelulekwa ngokulutheka kubalulekile ngaleso sikhathi. Abantu abayimilutha basabela kangcono ezinhlelweni zabo zokuyeka umlutha lapho besekelwa ngokwelulekwa.

Abalingani babo bayazuza ekwelulekweni komshado, njengoba kubafundisa ukuziphatha okusekela imizamo yokuyeka umlutha futhi okubasiza ukuba babhekane nokucindezeleka. Kungase futhi kube usizo kakhulu ekwephuleni amaphethini e-codependency.

7. Ukulutheka kwe-inthanethi nakho kudinga ukulungiswa

Ingabe ukwelulekwa ngomshado kusebenza lapho umbhangqwana (bobabili indoda nomfazi) ngezinye izikhathi beluthekile emhlabeni ongokoqobo kangangokuthi umndeni nomshado kunganakwa? Ngokuqinisekile. Eqinisweni, le nkinga idinga ngokukhethekile ukwelulekwa ukuze ibasize babone isimo sobudlelwano babo obungale kwefoni yakho.

Sonke siyazi amagajethi angonakalisa ubudlelwano. Ubudlelwano abutholi umthamo wansuku zonke wemisoco ngokwemibandela yezikhathi nezingxoxo ndawonye. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umshado uba buthaka, uvula indawo yokuthi umuntu wesithathu angene esibalweni. Ubungane obuku-inthanethi buyaqina futhi izingxoxo nje ezivamile zivame ukuphenduka ubungane obujulile bese kuba izindaba ze-inthanethi noma zangempela.

Imibhangqwana ematasatasa ku-WhatsApp noma ku-Facebook kangangokuthi ayikho into engayisho komunye nomunye kufanele nakanjani icabangele ukwelulekwa ngomshado. Bangase babe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi benze amaphutha ezinkundleni zokuxhumana okungaba nomthelela omubi ebudlelwaneni.

8. Ukuhlukumeza kudinga ukwelulekwa ngokushesha

Noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlukumeza - ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, ngamazwi noma ngokocansi - konakalisa ubuhlobo ngokushesha. Ukwelulekwa kwelulekwa kusenesikhathi. Ayikho imicabango yesibili.

Ukuhlukunyezwa akugcini nje ngokuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya noma udlame kodwa kungaba yizinhlobo ezahlukene. Kukhona ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo futhi umlingani ovuthayo angase akuqedele ngokwengqondo futhi ungase ungakuqapheli lokho.

Kungase kube nokuhlukumeza ngokwezimali lapho umlingani ephoqeleka ukuthi anikeze imali noma ahlale eheha ukuze azuze okwengeziwe futhi ahlangabezane nezidingo zomlingani. Ozakwethu abahlukumezayo abavamile ukukhombisa izimpawu zokuthuthuka ngaphandle kokwelulekwa. Ngakho-ke ukwelulekwa ngemishado kuyadingeka uma kukhona ukuhlukumeza.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 20 Igaslighting Imisho Ebudlelwaneni obubulala Uthando

9. Izeluleko ngezinkinga zempilo ezingalapheki

Uma umlingani oyedwa enesifo esingelapheki noma esibucayi ngokwengqondo/ngokomzimba, kuthinta umshado. Umbhangqwana kufanele ufune ukwelulekwa ukuze lowo ogulayo akwazi ukwedlula icala aye enqubweni yokucabanga eyakhayo.

Omunye umlingani angazuza ekwelulekweni kwemishado yabashadile futhi adlule kunoma yikuphi imizwa yokucasuka emshadweni ngokuthwala umthwalo owengeziwe. Izifo ezingapheli zomzimba noma zengqondo zilimaza umshado. Esimeni esifana nalesi, abantu kumele bafune ukwelulekwa.

10. Idivosi ngomusa ngokwelulekwa ngomshado

Uma umbhangqwana usunqume ukwehlukana, ukwelulekwa kuyelulekwa ukuze bahlukane kahle futhi benze isehlukaniso singabi mnandi futhi baqale isahluko esisha sezimpilo zabo ngendlela eyakhayo.

Kwesinye isikhathi a ukuhlukaniswa kwecala kuyalulekwa kodwa ezikhathini eziningi ukwelulekwa ngomshado kusiza ekubhekaneni nobuhlungu obudlulele, intukuthelo kanye nokucasuka abantu ababa nakho lapho behlukanisa.

Ukwelulekwa ngemishado kuyathengeka kulezi zinsuku kanti ezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziye zasindisa imishado nokwenza idivosi ingabi namahlevane. Ngakho-ke uma usazibuza, "Ingabe ukwelulekwa ngomshado kuyasebenza?" Yebo, liyakwenza. Kungenza umshado wakho nobudlelwano bakho bube yizwe elihle.

UDkt. Rima Mukherji MBBS, DPM, MRCPsych (London)

Ubelokhu enza umehluko ezimpilweni zezithandani eziningi ngokululekwa ngomshado. Ngemuva kokuthola isipiliyoni seminyaka eyi-7 e-UK, uDkt Mukherji wasungula abadumile Crystal Izingqondo, isikhungo sokuphila kahle ngokwengqondo (nethimba lezinhlaka eziningi elinikeza inhlobonhlobo yezinsizakalo zezengqondo nezengqondo zabo bonke ubudala) e-Kolkata. Eminyakeni engu-20 edlule, usenqobe izindondo eziningana ngenxa yothando lwakhe oluqinile ngomsebenzi wakhe. Umbono wakhe womphakathi ophephile uhloselwe ukuphila ngaphandle kokwesaba ukucwaswa, ukuqwashisa nokukhuthaza impilo enempilo yengqondo ngezinhlelo zokwelulekwa ngemishado..

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izindlela Ezi-15 Ezihlakaniphile Zokubhekana Nomkhwekazi Okhohlisayo, Onobuqili

Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokuthi Umyeni Wakho Ukukopela Nosebenza Naye

Ingabe Umyeni Wakho Uke Wahlola Ngokomzwelo? Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zokuhluleka Komshado

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

Bheka Inqubo Yethu Yokuhlela

Hlangana Nebhodi Lethu Lokubuyekeza

Yabelana Ngempendulo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Eziwusizo Bika Iphutha Izincwajana zemininingwane

Hambisa