Momwe Mungasiyire Ex Yemwe Yapitilira Zabwino

"Ex wanga adakhala ngati sindili kanthu." "N'chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kugonjetsa ex wanga yemwe ankandichitira zoipa?" — Kodi izi ndi zomwe mukukumana nazo? Zimakhala zowawa kwambiri mkazi wanu akamapita patsogolo panu. Zimakupangitsani kukhala odabwitsa azachipatala odziwa zambiri ngati amakukondani poyamba. Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kudziwa momwe mungasiyire munthu wakale yemwe wasuntha.

Kodi mumadziwa kuti simumachokapo ndi manja opanda kanthu? Nthawi zonse zimakuphunzitsani phunziro. Muyenera kungopeza zanu zomwe zingakuthandizeni kutuluka m'masautso anu. Kuti tidziwe ngati pali njira zosinthira kuchoka kwa wakale yemwe umamukondabe, tidafikira kwa upangiri wazamisala Namrata Sharma (Masters in Applied Psychology), yemwe ndi wochirikiza matenda amisala komanso SRHR ndipo amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri pa maubwenzi oipa, zowawa, chisoni, nkhani za ubale, nkhanza za amuna kapena akazi komanso nkhanza zapakhomo.

Iye anati: “Ngati mukufuna kukhala paubwenzi wabwino ndi munthu wina m’tsogolo, muyenera kuchoka kwa munthu wakale amene mumamukondabe.” Mkazi wanu wakale anasamuka mwamsanga ndipo mukupitirizabe kukumbukira.

Chifukwa Chiyani Ndizovuta Kusiya Ex?

Chibwenzi chikatha chifukwa onse awiri akuyamba kukondana, ndiye kuti okondedwawo amachira ndipo amapitilira. Kumbali ina, anthu amatha kutha chifukwa cha mavuto monga:

• Kusakhulupirika
• Khulupirirani nkhani
• Kusatetezeka
• Kusagwirizana kwa masitaelo a mikangano
• Mavuto osokoneza bongo
• Matenda amisala
• Makolo sakukondera ubalewo
• Kulephera kuyendetsa maubwenzi akutali

Kapena lingakhale vuto lina lililonse limene akuganiza kuti silingathetsedwe, kupangitsa kuti kulekana kukhala njira yokhayo yothetsera. Ndipamene zimakhala zovuta kulola wina kuti apite motengeka maganizo, makamaka pamene mwakhala masiku anu ndi usiku mukuganizira za tsogolo ndi iye. 

Namrata anati: “Munthu akakumana ndi kutha kwa chibwenzi chimene chinali chofunika kwambiri kwa iye, chitonthozo, mtendere, ndi maganizo ake zimasokonekera ndi chochitika chosadziŵika bwino chimenechi. akadali nawo chikondi chachikulu ndipo sadziwa chimene adzachita ndi chikondi chosiyidwachi.”

Zifukwa zina zomwe zimavutira kusiya ex ndi:

• Zowawa zakusiyidwa paubwana 
• Kuopa kukhala wekha
• Nthawi zonse kudalira okondedwa anu kuti mudziwe kudzidalira kwanu
• Zakale zikuwoneka zotsimikizika ndipo zam'tsogolo zikuwoneka zowopsa
• Mukuganiza kuti simungasangalale monga momwe munali ndi ex wanu
• Pali mavuto omwe sanathe kuthetsedwa ndipo malingaliro anu sakufanana ndi akale anu okhudzana ndi kutha

Momwe Mungasiyire Ex Yemwe Wapitilira - Malangizo Akatswiri 

Munthu amene munakondana nayeyu wakupatsani chimwemwe chochuluka moti mumadandaula ngati mudzasangalalanso. Mwakhala ndi munthu uyu kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo mwadzidzidzi kusowa kwawo kukupangitsani mantha amtsogolo. Zikukupangitsani kudabwa ngati mudzapeza wina wokongola, wachikondi, komanso womvetsetsa ngati wakale wanu. Kuti ndikuthandizeni kulimbana ndi kulekana kumeneku, Namrata akugawana njira zina zosinthira kuchoka kwa munthu wakale yemwe mumamukondabe:

1. Chisoni chothetsa banja 

Namrata akuti, "Chinthu choyamba chimene muyenera kuchita pamene mukuyesera kuthana ndi munthu wakale yemwe anasamukira kudziko lina ndi chisoni. Kukhalabe wolimba si njira yokhayo yomwe mungasankhire pakalipano. Lolani kuti zonsezi zichitike chifukwa ndinu munthu yemwe amatha kumva maganizo osiyanasiyana nthawi imodzi. Simungamubwezere munthu uyu kotero kuti ndi bwino kulira tsopano m'malo moletsa maganizo anu."

Kutsanzikana sikophweka. Mwataya munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri ndipo mwachibadwa zomwe mukumva panopa. Chisoni kutha. Lirani momveka. Namrata anati: “Ndi bwino kuti wakhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa chakuti sukufuna kuugwira mtima kapena kuumitsa maganizo.”

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira Zabwino Zomwe Mungayambitsirenso Chibwenzi mu Ubwenzi

2. Momwe mungasiyire munthu wakale yemwe wasuntha - Jambulani lamulo loti musamagwirizane 

Namrata akuti, "Ngati kupatukana sikunali lingaliro lanu ndipo chisankhochi chinangotengedwa ndi iwo okha, ndiye kuti ndi bwino kuthetsa maubwenzi onse ndi iwo. Mukusiya kuchoka kwa munthu wakale yemwe sakufuna. Iwo awonetseratu izi pothetsa chibwenzi. kuwaletsa kulikonse ndikukhazikitsa lamulo loletsa kulumikizana. ”

Anthu ena amagwiritsa ntchito lamulo losalumikizana ngati njira yopezera mnzawo/mnzawo wakale. Ndi njira yobwezera ex wawo. Koma sizili choncho ndi inu popeza wakale wanu wapita patsogolo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake njira yabwino yothanirana ndi omwe akuchokapo ndikuwaletsa pamaakaunti anu onse ochezera. Simufunikanso kuwatsata, kuwayimbira moledzera, kapena kutumiza ndime zazitali kwa iwo. 

3. Tayani zonse zomwe zimakukumbutsani 

Ava, namwino wazaka 28 wa ku New York anati: “N’chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kugonjetsa wakale wanga amene ankandichitira zoipa? 

Kudzizunza ndi t-sheti yawo usiku uliwonse – Umu si momwe muyenera kuchitira munthu amene anataya inu. 

• Simungathe kupempha chitonthozo kwa munthu amene anakuikani m’zowawa. Ndi chifukwa chake mukudutsa mu nthawi yovutayi
• The njira yopitira ku ex mumakondabe ndikuchotsa mphatso zonse, zikumbutso, ndi zinthu zawo zomwe zimakupangitsani chisoni.
• Mutha kuwabwezera zinthu izi, kuzisunga kwa anzanu kuti asawonekere mpaka mutachira, kapena kuzipereka.
• Komanso, chotsani zithunzi, mauthenga, ndi makanema awo onse ngati mwakhala mukuchita zinthu monyanyira

Wapita. Zinthu izi zidzangokukumbutsani ndipo zidzakupangitsani kukhala kovuta kuti mupitirize. 

4. Osadziikira mlandu kapena munthu wina aliyense 

Kudziganizira nokha ndi njira yabwino yothetsera kutha kwa chibwenzicho komanso kuti musabwereze zovuta zomwezo muubwenzi wotsatira. Koma musagwere mumsampha wodziimba mlandu pa chilichonse, makamaka pamene sanakuchitireni bwino kapena pamene anali olakwa monga mmene munali paubwenzi. Pewani kudzimvera chisoni mutasiyana ndi kunena zinthu monga:

• “Ndikanakhala wachikondi komanso womvetsa zinthu, sizikanachitika”
• “Mkazi wanga wakale sakanandisiya n’kukhala munthu wina ndikanakhala wooneka bwino”
• “Munthu watsopano amene akumuonayo ndi amene anachititsa kuti tisiyane.
• "Ndine chitsiru. Sindinazione bwanji izi?"
• "Okondedwa wanga wapita patsogolo koma ndimamukondabe. Ndikanakhala kuti ndimatha kuyendetsa bwino ntchito yanga komanso moyo wachikondi, tikadakhalabe limodzi."

M’malo modziimba mlandu, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale, yesani kunena zinthu monga:

• “Sizinayende bwino chifukwa tinali ndi zolinga zosiyanasiyana m’moyo”
• “Sitinali oyenererana”
• "Zinali zomveka zizindikiro zosagwirizana ndipo nthawi yatha"
• “Sitinayenera kukhalira limodzi”

Zonse ndi kusintha maganizo anu pa chifukwa chimene inu ndi mnzanuyo munasudzulana. Pokhala olimba ndikusintha malingaliro anu, simudzadziimba mlandu nokha kapena wina aliyense chifukwa chakutha. Malingaliro anu okhudza kusudzulana adzasinthanso ndipo mudzaphunzira pang'onopang'ono momwe mungasiyire munthu wakale yemwe wasuntha.

5. Lekani kukumana ndi abwenzi ndi abale awo kwakanthawi

Ndi bwino kupewa gulu lonse la ex wanu panthawi imeneyi. Mukamacheza kwambiri ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu, mumakumbutsidwa kwambiri za iwo. Simukuyenera kuwataya anthuwa m'moyo wanu, muyenera kuyimitsa kucheza nawo pomwe mukuphunzira kuthana ndi munthu wakale yemwe akupitilira.

Pano pali malingaliro ena, komabe. Atafunsidwa Reddit pa kukhala mabwenzi ndi achibale ndi mabwenzi akale, wogwiritsa ntchitoyo anayankha kuti, “Ukhoza kukhala mabwenzi ndi aliyense.” Iwo angakhale anali mabwenzi ake poyamba koma tsopano iwonso ndi mabwenzi ako. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Khama Mu Ubale: Zomwe Zikutanthauza Ndi Njira 12 Zowonetsera

6. Pezani njira zabwino zochotsera malingaliro omwe ali m'mwamba 

Kukhalabe olimba mukamakumana ndi kusudzulana n’kofunika kwambiri pamene mukuphunzira kuleka munthu wakale amene wasamuka. Pakali pano, muyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro ovuta kwambiri omwe amabwera m'maganizo ndi m'thupi lanu ndipo simukudziwa momwe mungawathetsere bwino. 

Yona, mlembi wazaka 24 wa ku Miami, akulembera Bonobology kaamba ka uphungu. Iye anati: “N’chifukwa chiyani kusiya chibwenzi n’kovuta kwambiri? wakale yemwe mudakali naye. Ndiyenera kuwawona tsiku lililonse ndipo ndimachita nsanje ndikawawona akusangalala ndi wokondedwa wawo watsopano. sindingathe kuwaleka; Mfundo yoti mkazi wangayo anasamuka msanga kwambiri, yandichititsa kuti ndisakhululukire kunena zoona.”

Ngati mukukumana ndi vuto ngati lomweli, nazi njira zabwino zochotsera malingaliro anu:

• Kumanani ndi anzanu pafupipafupi 
• Sinkhasinkhani nthawi zonse 
• Yesani kudzisamalira 
• Lembani maganizo anu 
• Muyenera kupewa kumwa mowa mopitirira muyeso komanso mankhwala osokoneza bongo 
• Yang'ananinso zokonda zakale kapena kupanga zatsopano
• Tsatirani zakudya zopatsa thanzi komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi tsiku lililonse 
• Khalani kutali ndi wakale wanu
• Funsani thandizo la akatswiri. Ngati ndi chithandizo chomwe mukuyang'ana, Bonobology's gulu la akatswiri odziwa zachipatala ali pano kuti akutsogolereni munjira ndikujambula njira yochira

7. Zindikirani kuti mudzayambanso kukondana 

Namrata akuti, "Iye wapita. Uyenera kuvomereza, koma suyenera kutaya chikhulupiriro chako mu chikondi. Khulupirirani kuti mudzatero. kugwanso m’chikondi ndi kuti udzapezanso chimwemwe.” 

Khalani ndi chikhulupiriro, musataye chiyembekezo. Mupeza munthu wamaloto anu, wina yemwe amakuyenererani kwambiri kuposa wakale wanu. Wokondedwa wanu akadali kunja uko. Pokhapokha mutatuluka mu gawo lovuta kwambiri la kutha kwanu, mudzachiritsa pang'onopang'ono ndikutha kukonda munthu wina. Tonsefe timatha kukhala ndi zokonda zingapo zazikulu. Osataya mtima.

Njira zomwe tatchulazi zikuthandizani kuti mupite kuzinthu zabwino m'moyo. Kutuluka kwa munthu m'modzi m'moyo wanu kumatanthauza kufika kwa munthu wina. Simungathe kuchiritsa ngati mupitirizabe kugwira ululu. Chikondi chidzagogodanso pakhomo panu. Mukachikumbatira, chidzabweretsa chisangalalo chachikulu m'moyo wanu kotero kuti mudzayiwala kuti mtima wanu udasweka. 

Ibibazo

Ndimupatse Mpata Wina - Mfundo 9 Zoti Muganizire

19 Zochita ndi Zosachita Pambuyo pa Kutha

Malangizo 9 a Katswiri a Momwe Mungadzitetezere Kutengeka Kwanu Paubwenzi

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

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