Kodi Mungatani Mukasowa Ex Wanu? Upangiri Waukatswiri

Mosasamala kanthu za zifukwa zomwe zachititsa kuti muthe kutha, nthawi zina mumasowa mwamuna wanu wakale, kwa kanthawi kochepa. Ndipo tikudziwa kuti Kulingalira zomwe zachitika si njira yothetsera komanso kulirira mkaka wotayika. Koma ndizosavuta kunena ndiye kuchita. Ndiye mungasiye bwanji kusowa wakale wanu?

Choyamba, tiyeni tiyankhe funso lofunika kwambiri, n’chifukwa chiyani munthu amaphonya munthu wakale? Adya Poojari (MA Clinical Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani ya ubale ndi achinyamata, anati. “Mumaphonya munthu wakale chifukwa mwadzipangitsa kukhala wofooka ndipo mumayamba kumudalira. Kudalira kumeneku kungakhale kwakuthupi, kwamaganizo, kwamaganizo, kapena ngakhale kopanda ndalama. Komanso, mwakhala mukugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yambiri mwa munthu ameneyo, kotero n’zachibadwa kumuphonya.”

Tidalankhula ndi Adya chifukwa chanzeru zake ndikulemba mndandanda wazinthu zomwe mungachite mukasowa wakale wanu.

Zoyenera Kuchita Mukasowa Ex Wanu

Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe mungachite kuti musinthe malingaliro anu mukasowa munthu wakale. Izi ndi njira zoyesedwa ndikuyesedwa ndi anthu omwe asintha bwino kuchoka ku kusowa kwawo wakale mpaka kuyiwala zakale zawo ndikupitilira moyo wawo.

Taganizirani nkhani ya Flora. Pamene sankatha kusiya kuganizira za chibwenzi chake chakale ngakhale patatha chaka chimodzi kuchokera pamene anasudzulana, analandira thandizo la katswiri wa zamaganizo . Maphunziro ake a uphungu ndi chithandizo zinapitirira kwa pafupifupi chaka chimodzi ndipo pofika kumapeto kwake, Flora sanangokhala chete ndi zakale zake komanso analowa muubwenzi watsopano komanso wokhutiritsa wachikondi.

Ngati mukukumananso ndi zovuta zofananira, zomwe zaperekedwa pansipa ndi mndandanda wamalingaliro a Adya omwe mutha kutsata mukaphonya wakale wanu.

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1. Onani zomwe sizinayende bwino muubwenzi

Kodi mungatani mukasowa ex wanu? M’malo mokumbukira mbali zabwino za chibwenzicho, ganizirani zimene sizinakuyendereni bwino. Kusiyanasiyana kwa malingaliro, mikangano, kusinthanitsa mawu koyipa, ndi zina zotero.
Lembani zinthu zonse zomwe zalakwika papepala kapena mu kope. Mukhozanso kumata kapepalako pa bolodi lofewa pamalo pomwe mumakakamizika kuchiyang'ana tsiku ndi tsiku.

Zidzakhala ngati chikumbutso chokhazikika kwa inu ndikulimbitsa zifukwa zomwe ubalewo sunayende bwino. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuti musamaganizire kwambiri za wakale wanu komanso kukuthandizani kuti muchiritse mukatha kusudzulana.

2. Fufutani zokumbukira

Ineyo pandekha ndikupeza nsonga iyi ya momwe mungapitirire kusowa wakale wanu wogwira mtima kwambiri. Fufutani zokumbukira zonse zakuthupi zomwe muli nazo za iwo kapena ubale. Chotsani zithunzi, makanema, mphatso, kapena zokumbukira zonse zomwe zimakukumbutsani kapena ubale wanu.

Ndicho chimene Theresa anachita. Pamene nthawi zonse ankasowa chibwenzi chake chakale, sanangochotsa zithunzi zonse, makanema, ndi zokumbukira zokhudzana ndi iye komanso anapitilizabe kuchotsa nambala yake yolumikizirana ndi achibale ake komanso abwenzi ake. Anasiyanso kutsata chibwenzi chake chakale pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti.

Ndiye mungatani mukasowa ex wanu? Monga Theresa, musaiwale za wakale wanu ndipo mudzatha kuyambanso moyo.

3. Tulutsani zakukhosi kwanu

Wolemba mabuku wa New York Times, Gabrielle Bernstein akuti m'buku lake, Miracles Now, "Imvani momwe mukumvera." Malingana ndi iye ngati mukumva kuti ndinu otetezeka kukumana ndi malingaliro anu, simuthawanso ndipo mutha kuwamasula. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe muyenera kuchita mukasowa ex wanu.

Ndiye kodi ndi malingaliro otani omwe amabuka mukaganizira za wakale wanu? Kodi pali chilichonse chomwe mukufuna kunena? Kodi mukufuna kulira mokweza mtima kapena kulavula poizoni? Tangoganizani akuima patsogolo panu ndikutulutsa zonse. Tulutsani malingaliro onse omwe mudabisala. Lirani momwe mungafunire ndipo musachepetse mawu anu. Tulutsani malingaliro anu ndipo mudzayamba kumva kupepuka.

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4. Ganizirani chifukwa chake mukumusowa wakale wanu wakale

Dzifunseni kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimasowa ex wanga?" nthawi iliyonse mukatero. Kodi ndi chifukwa chocheza nawo kapena kuti mwazolowerana nawo? Kapena ndi chifukwa munayamba kuwadalira? Mukazindikira chifukwa chomwe mwaphonya wakale wanu, mutha kuchitapo kanthu. ku

Malinga ndi Adya, chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zomwe zidapangitsa kuti asowe wakale ndikuti anthu ambiri amakana za kutha kwa ubale wawo. Amapempha thandizo kwa dokotala kuti awafotokozere za 'chifukwa chiyani sizinagwire ntchito?' ndi 'chifukwa chiyani sichinapangidwe?' Kuvomereza kuti ubale watha ndi gawo lovuta kwambiri kuvomereza kwa anthu ambiri ndichifukwa chake amalephera kuthana ndi akale awo.

Pofotokoza njira yothandizira, Adya akuti, "M'malo mowapempha kuti apitirize, timawapempha kuti aziganizira kwambiri chifukwa chake amasowa wakale wawo mobwerezabwereza. Monga momwe simungaseke chifukwa cha nthabwala yomweyi nthawi zambiri, simungalire chifukwa cha chisoni chomwecho nthawi zonse. Mukamaganizira kwambiri zifukwa zomwe mumasowa wakale wanu, pamapeto pake mudzazindikira kuti muyenera kusiya zakale ."

Izi zikangoyambika, amatha kusiya malingaliro awo okhudza wakale wawo wakale. ”

5. Osafuna 'kubwezera'

Ngati munthu winayo wathetsa chibwenzicho ndipo kudzikuza kwake sikungathe kuvomereza kukanidwa, maganizo obwezera amayamba. Adya akuti, "Nthawi zambiri maganizo obwezera amakula mosazindikira. Kubwezera kumeneku kungakhale mwanjira iliyonse. Kungakhale kutulutsa zithunzi kapena makanema awo, kuwalankhula molakwika, kuulula zinsinsi zawo, kapena kungokhala ndi khalidwe lankhanza . Cholinga apa ndikuvulaza wakale wanu mwanjira ina ndikubwezera."

Ndiye mungatani mukasowa ex wanu? Ndikofunika kuti musamadziimbe mlandu nokha kapena wina aliyense chifukwa cha kutha kwa chibwenzicho. Nthawi zina kupatukana kumakhala kosapeweka. Musalole kuti kukhumudwa kulikonse kubwere. Ngati muli ndi maganizo amenewa, funsani dokotala mwamsanga.

6. Vomerezani kuti zatha

Ubwenzi ukatha popanda chilolezo kapena mgwirizano, nthawi zambiri zimadzetsa chisoni. Malinga ndi Adya, pali magawo asanu achisoni monga kukana, kukwiya, kukambirana, kukhumudwa, ndi kuvomereza. Komabe, si aliyense amene amadutsa magawo onsewa ndipo ngati atero, osati motere.

Adya akufotokoza kuti: “Choyamba ndicho kukana pamene sukufuna kuvomereza kuti chibwenzicho chatha, ndiye kuti pamakhala mkwiyo woti mwamunayo wathetsa chibwenzicho.

Kenako pamabwera gawo la kuvutika maganizo pamene mukusoŵa kwambiri chibwenzi chanu chakale. Ndi panthawiyi pamene ndikofunikira kwambiri kutenga chithandizo ngati pakufunika kutero ndikuwunikanso zifukwa zomwe zapangitsa kuti musiye chibwenzi chanu kuti mupitirire ku gawo lotsatira la kuvomerezana ndikupeza chisangalalo.

Ngati mukukumana ndi zinthu zotere ndipo mukuganiza kuti mungachite chiyani mukaphonya wakale wanu, funsani dokotala ndikufunsani yankho. Adzakuthandizani kuvomereza izi bwino lomwe.

7. Khalani otanganidwa

Onetsetsani kuti manja anu ali odzaza. Kaya ndikuyang'ana kwambiri ntchito yanu, kupita koyenda ndi anzanu, kuyenda, kuwerenga buku kapena kuwonera kanema, khalani otanganidwa kuti musiye kuphonya wakale wanu.

Michelle anakumana ndi nthawi yovuta kuti athetse mwamuna wake wakale pamene anali limodzi kwa zaka 15. Analephera kudziletsa misozi pokumbukira nthawi imene ankacheza, choncho anakonza zoti achite. Kuti athetse kusowa kwake wakale, adalowa m'kalasi yovina!

Sikuti Michelle adavina momasuka, koma adapewanso kusowa wakale wake. Ndiye mungatani mukasowa ex wanu? Chotengera pa nkhani ya Michelle ndikuti musakhale chete. Malingaliro opanda pake ndi msonkhano wa mdierekezi. Kuchita zinthu mwanzeru kudzasintha malingaliro anu ndikukuthandizani kuti muthe kuphonya wakale wanu.

8. Sinthani chizolowezi chanu

Njira imodzi yothandiza kuti musiye kuphonya wakale wanu ndikusintha zochita zanu zatsiku ndi tsiku. Kusintha kumodzi kwakukulu kapena kusintha pang'ono pang'ono muzochita zanu zanthawi zonse kudzasintha malingaliro anu kuti agwirizane ndi ntchitozo ndipo motero kukuthandizani kuti muthe kuphonya wakale wanu.

Pokambirana ndi magazini ya Elle, wolemba nyimbo wa ku America dzina lake Taylor Swift anati: “Mukapitiriza kukhala ndi moyo n’kupanga zizoloŵezi zatsopano, mumazoloŵera kusakhala ndi meseji m’maŵa uliwonse wonena kuti, ‘Moni, wokongola! Mumazolowera kusaimbira foni munthu usiku kumuuza momwe tsiku lanu linalili.

Kotero, ngati mukufunsa kuti, “Ndichite chiyani ndikasowa wakale wanga?” mvetserani Swift, ali ndi yankho la izi. Iye akuti, “Mumasintha zizolowezi zakalezi ndi zizolowezi zatsopano, monga kutumizirana mameseji ndi anzanu pagulu tsiku lonse ndikukonzekera maphwando osangalatsa a chakudya chamadzulo komanso kupita ku maulendo ndi atsikana anu . Kenako mwadzidzidzi tsiku lina muli ku Loon ndipo muzindikira…muli bwino.”

Mukatsatira izi mpaka T, simudzayenera kuganiza zoyenera kuchita mukaphonya wakale wanu.

9. Ikani ndalama mwa inu nokha

Nthawi yomwe mukadakhala ndi wakale wanu, gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyo kuti mukule ngati munthu. Phunzirani chinenero chatsopano, phunzirani luso latsopano, sinthani maonekedwe anu, kapena yambitsani chisokonezo, pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zingakuthandizeni kukula monga munthu.

Tengani chitsanzo cha Tim. Tim atasiyana ndi chibwenzi chake, adaganiza zotembenuza tsamba latsopano. Tim anati: “Ndinkangodzifunsa kuti nditani nditasowa mwamuna wanga wakale ndipo ndinaganiza zogwiritsa ntchito luso langa lophika bwino.

Pomaliza pake, kudzera mu gulu ili, Tim adalumikizana ndi munthu wina ndipo adapezanso chikondi. Chifukwa chake, Tim sanangophonya kusowa chibwenzi chake komanso adalowa muubwenzi wabwino. Simudziwa zomwe zikukuyembekezerani, choncho siyani kudzifunsa ngati chibwenzi chanu chikadali kukukondani . Yambani mutu watsopano ndikukumana ndi munthu amene angakuchitireni zabwino!

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10. Yesani Kuyamikira

Khalani otsimikiza ndikuyang'ana mbali yowala ya zinthu. Yang'anani galasi lodzaza theka osati theka lopanda kanthu. Chifukwa chake munkhaniyi mungatani ngati mwaphonya ex wanu? Yesetsani kuyamikira.

Kusweka sikumapeto kwa njira, koma chiyambi cha ulendo watsopano.

Talingalirani za Marisa amene anasudzulana moipa. Zinachitika kuti kuyang'ana Marisa mosweka mtima komanso wosweka mtima, bwenzi lake lapamtima Sabina, yemwenso anali mlangizi wa ubale, adamukakamiza kuti ayambe kulemba magazini oyamikira.

Pambuyo pa kutsutsa kwakukulu, Marisa wosafuna pang'onopang'ono anayamba ndondomekoyi tsiku lililonse. Pamene anayamba kuwerengera madalitso ake m’buku lake, anaona kuti anali ndi zambiri zoti aziyamikira m’moyo wake. Ndipo pakutha kwa miyezi itatu, sanangosiya kusowa wakale wake, koma adakhalanso munthu wamoyo, wokonzeka kutenga dziko lapansi.

11. Perekani nthawi

Ngati mukufuna kusiya kuphonya wakale, dziwani kuti sizichitika mwamsanga. Ndi njira yomwe ingatenge nthawi. ndipo palibe nthawi yeniyeni ya izo. Zimasiyana munthu ndi munthu.

Polankhula za 'momwe mungapitirizire kusowa wakale wanu', katswiri wapa TV Khloe Kardashian adanena mu mtsinje wamoyo pa webusaiti yake, "Sindimakhulupirira kuti pali nthawi yachisoni kapena kuchiritsa kapena kugonjetsa wina kapena chinachake.

Choncho nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukufuna kusiya kusowa chibwenzi ndi wakale wanu, tengani nthawiyo. Chifukwa mutha kupeza chisangalalo mukatha kusudzulana.

Komanso, kumbukirani zotsatirazi, akuwonjezera Adya, "Mosasamala kanthu za momwe ubalewo unathera, musadzibwezere mu dzenje lakuda lophiphiritsira poyitana wakale wanu.

Ngakhale wakale wanu ataimbira foni yanu ndikulankhulana bwino, zitha kukupatsani chisangalalo kwakanthawi, chifukwa ubale womwe udasweka ndi wofooka ndipo utha kuthanso. Kotero, musadzichepetse nokha.

Ngati mukukayikabe ndi funso lakuti, 'chochita mukasowa wakale wanu,' kumbukirani kuti thandizo lili pafupi. Konzani nthawi yanu ndi katswiri lero. Bonobology ili ndi akatswiri ambiri odziwa bwino ntchito omwe angakonde kukuthandizani.

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Maganizo Final

Tsatirani malangizo onsewa kapena ochuluka momwe mungathere ndikuwona kusinthaku. Kusudzulana nthawi zina kumakhala dalitso pobisala chifukwa kumakupangitsani kuganiziranso zomwe mumayika patsogolo, kufikira anzanu, kumanganso gulu lolimba, ndipo pamapeto pake kumakuthandizani kukula ngati munthu. Musalole kusiyana kukulepheretsani kuyenda. Pitirizani kupita patsogolo m'moyo ndipo koposa zonse, musayang'ane m'mbuyo. Chifukwa moyo wokongola ukuyembekezera kukukumbatirani ndi manja awiri.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.