Kuthetsa Chikondi Chamoyo Wanu - Zinthu 11 Zomwe Muyenera Kuziganizira

Ndifedi, tikuyembekeza kuti simukusiyana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu. Tikukulimbikitsani kuti nkhani yanu yachikondi ikhale yosalekeza komanso yabwino komanso chilichonse chomwe mungafune. Komabe, chikondi ndi chosokonekera komanso chovuta ndipo nthawi zina, ubalewu uyenera kutha.

N’kutheka kuti muli pachibwenzi chosokonekera n’kutha pamene mudakali m’chikondi. Mwinamwake mukuyesera kuthetsa kutha kwa chikondi chenicheni ndipo sizikuchitika, ndipo mwakhala mozungulira kumvetsera nyimbo za kusweka ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu. (Ndipo alipo ambiri aiwo!)

Kusweka kwamtundu uliwonse ndikovuta. Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mnzanu wapamtima ndiye chinthu chowawa kwambiri chomwe mungachite. Ukadakhala ubale wautali, mukadapanga moyo ndi chizolowezi limodzi. Zikhaladi zovuta kusiya zonsezi - anthu nthawi zambiri amafanizira ndikutaya chiwalo.

Tabwera kudzathandiza. Sitikulonjeza kuti mubwereranso ku mkhalidwe wanu wanthawi zonse chifukwa kuchira kumatenga nthawi. Koma taphatikiza zinthu zina zoti muganizire mukamasiyana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu.

Kuthetsa Chikondi Chamoyo Wanu: Ganizirani Zinthu 11 Izi

Palibe malamulo okhazikika pakutha kwa chibwenzi ndi mnzanu wa nthawi yayitali. Koma ngati mumaganizira ena musanathe, panthawi, komanso mutatha, zidzapangitsa kuti mavuto onsewa akhale osavuta kwa inu ndi iwo. Choncho, musanaganize za momwe mungathetsere kutha kwa chibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali , nazi zinthu 11 zomwe muyenera kuganizira mukatha kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu.

1. Muzifotokoza momveka bwino chifukwa chake mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi

Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda sikoyenera nthawi zonse. Koma padzakhala zifukwa zomwe simukukondwera ndi chibwenzicho moti mungafune kuthetsa kusiyana ndi kukhala ndi kukonza zinthu. Kapena mwinamwake mwayesapo kukonza zinthu ndipo palibe chimene chakhala bwino. Choncho, kukambirana moona mtima kudzakhala njira yabwino kwambiri yopitira.

Nthawi zina, zifukwa zanu zimakhala kuti “sindikusangalala” kapena “Ndikufuna zambiri koma ubalewu sukwanira”. Inde, izi ndi zifukwa zomveka, koma ngati simukudziwa bwino chifukwa chake munasiya chibwenzi chanu, mwina mungasiye chibwenzi chanu . Kupatula apo, mukufuna kupewa mkhalidwe womwe mukuganiza kuti, “Ndangosiya chibwenzi changa ndipo ndikudandaula.”

"Ine ndi mnzanga tinali limodzi kwa zaka 5 ndipo zoona zake, zinkaoneka ngati ubale wabwino komanso wosangalatsa," akutero Jessica. "Koma sindinali wosangalala. Zingamveke ngati ndikuopa maubwenzi , koma ndinkangofuna kukhala ndi malo anga, kuyenda ndekha, ndikuchita zinthu popanda kuganizira za chizolowezi ndi malingaliro a wina. Ngakhale kuti zimenezo zikumveka ngati kudzikonda, ndinkakondabe mnzanga ndipo ndinkamukondabe, koma ndinayenera kuthetsa ubalewo."

Ichi chidzakhala chofunikira chanu choyamba pamene mukuphunzira momwe mungathanirane ndi kutha ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu. Kulingalira momveka bwino kungamveke ngati kudzikonda, ngakhale kosamveka komanso kopusa kwa anthu akunja. Koma ngati muli omveka bwino ndipo mukudziwa kuti izi ndi zomwe mukufuna, zidzakupangitsani kuti muzilankhulana momveka bwino komanso mokoma mtima ndi mnzanuyo.

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2. Imirirani 

"Ndimaganiza zothetsa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi changa." Kodi izi zikumveka ngati inu? Muyenera kuyamba kukonzekera kupita patsogolo m’moyo. Mukakhala ndi kulingalira kwanu m'malo ndipo mwamveka bwino m'maganizo mwanu kuti kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu ndicho chimene mukufuna, padzakhala kuthamangira kukayika ndi mafunso, onse kuchokera ku ubongo wanu, anzanu, ndipo mwinamwake ngakhale mnzanuyo ngati sali pamalo omwewo monga inu muli.

Imani pansi. Inde, ndizabwinobwino kukhala ndi mafunso ndi kukayikira - mukusiyana ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda, ndipo mukuthetsa ubale womwe wakufotokozerani inu ndi mtima wanu kwa zaka zambiri. Zili ngati kulola mbali ina ya inu kupita, ndipo n’kovuta kuumirira n’kunena kuti, “Ayi, izi ndi zimene ndikufuna.”

Mvetserani, mukuloledwa kusintha maganizo anu ndikukhalabe muubwenzi wanu. Koma, ngati mukutsimikiza, ngakhale muli ndi malingaliro, ndipo mukudziwa kuti mukufuna ndipo mukufuna kuti ubalewu uthe, musamvere anthu omwe akuwonetsa kudabwa ndi kusakhulupirira ndikuyesera kukuletsani. Nthawi zonse padzakhala mkangano wakuti "koma mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali". Ubwenzi wautali subwera popanda mavuto, kotero ndikofunikira kufuna kuuthetsa. Kumbukirani, palibe cholakwika ndi kuvomereza mavuto a ubale.

3. Dziwani kuti muyenera kukambirana movutikira

Inde, nkhani imeneyi ikhala yovuta, makamaka ngati mukusiyana ndi munthu amene mumamukonda ndipo sakudziwa zomwe zikubwera. Mudzafuna kuchedwetsa nthawi yayitali, chifukwa, taganizirani momwe nkhope ya wokondedwa wanu imaonekera mukamamuuza kuti simukufunanso kukhala naye. Ndani akufuna kukhala munthu amene amayambitsa kusudzulana? Palibe amene akufuna.

Osakhala pamenepo kwa nthawi yayitali. Nthawi zina muyenera kuganizira mozama za kuthetsa ubale wautali. Koma, ndikofunikira kutenga sitepe yoyambayo ndikukambirana koyamba komwe muli komanso momwe mukumvera. Kupanda kutero, mukhala mukukankhira mumphika wamalingaliro anu oponderezedwa ndikukwiyira wokondedwa wanu.

Palibe chophweka kapena 'chabwino' mwachibadwa pankhani yothetsa chibwenzi, makamaka mukamangomva kuti "Mulungu wanga! Chibwenzi changa ndi changwiro koma ndikufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho". Zidzakhala zovuta, mwina zidzakhala zoipa, ndipo sizidzakusiyani ofunda komanso osasangalatsa mkati. Mudzawakhumudwitsa. Koma limbani mtima ndipo kambiranani. Musalole kuti zinthu zifike poti mukukwiyirana chifukwa simungathe kudziwonetsera nokha mwanjira ina iliyonse. Palibe chifukwa choti izi zikhale ubale woopsa.

4. Khalani ndi malingaliro anu

Dikirani kaye, kodi sitinangokuuzani kuti mugonjetse malingaliro anu ndikuchita chinthu chovuta? Inde, tinatero, koma timvereni. Kuphunzira momwe mungathanirane ndi kusudzulana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu kudzaphatikizapo malingaliro ambiri. Ndipo tikutanthauza, zambiri! Talankhula kale za kukaikira ndikudzifunsa nokha.

Koma palinso zopweteka. Mkwiyo. Chisokonezo. Chisoni chakuya, chakuya. Nchifukwa chiyani mungasiye chikondi, ngakhale sichimamvanso ngati chikondi? Kodi mungalimbane bwanji ndi dzenje lofanana ndi bwenzi lomwe mutasiya ndi bwenzi lalitali lidzakusiyani? Kodi muli ndi zida zokwanira kuti muthe kuthana ndi ululu ndi kumverera uku?

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Lolani zomverera zibwere. Aloleni iwo aziyenda pa inu ndipo pamapeto pake (ndipo izi zidzatenga nthawi), zidzachepa. Ululuwu ukhoza kusiya zipsera zomwe sizimachira. Koma zikhala bwino, tikulonjeza. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kulola malingaliro kubwera m'malo mowatsekereza mwachibadwa. Kuyesetsa kuti musamamve chisoni popanga chosankha chachikulu chotero sikungakuthandizeni. Zomverera zanu zidzasintha kukhala mphamvu pakapita nthawi.

5. Konzekerani zomwe okondedwa anu angayankhe

Simungakhale okonzekeratu mmene wokondedwa wanu angachitire ndi mkhalidwe woipitsitsa woterowo. Mukunena kuti muthetse chibwenzi, mgwirizano womwe umafikira mbali zonse za moyo wanu wapagulu, ndikuzula zonse zomwe mwamanga pamodzi. Kodi aliyense amamva bwanji? Kodi pali ngakhale njira yolondola yothanirana nazo?

Tili ndi nkhani yanu. Palibe. Mnzanu anganene kuti, “Zikomo Mulungu wanga, inenso ndakhala wosasangalala ndi chibwenzicho ndipo sindikudziwa momwe ndingakuuzireni.” Kapena angagwe ndi mantha ndi misozi n’kunena kuti sakudziwa kuti mumamva choncho. Mwina angatsimikize kusintha maganizo anu n’kunena kuti mungathe kuthetsa vutoli. Choyipa kwambiri: Angakuimbeni mlandu woti mwawononga ubale wabwino kwambiri ndipo angakuganizireni kuti muli pachibwenzi.

Khalani okonzekera zonsezi, kapena chimodzi mwa izi, kapena palibe cha izo. Palibe zonena kuti kusweka ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu kungakhudze bwanji chikondi cha moyo wanu. Anthu amene timaganiza kuti timawadziwa komanso kuwakonda amasanduka anthu osawadziwa akamaopsezedwa, kukhumudwa kapena kukhumudwa. Kotero sungani nokha pa chirichonse, chirichonse nkomwe.

6. Lankhulani za zinthu zomwe mukugawanabe

Aidan anati: “Tinakhala m’banja kwa zaka 12 ndipo tinali ndi ana aŵiri. Pamene Aidan ndi mkazi wake Sarah adaganiza kuti ukwati wawo sukuyenda bwino, adadziwa kuti sangathetse moyo wawo ndikusiya.

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"Tinagawana zambiri kuposa chikondi cha okwatirana - tinali makolo, tinali osamalira, ndipo tinali ndi nkhani zachuma zomwe timagawana. Panali anthu ena omwe tinkayenera kuwaganizira tikamathetsa chisudzulo. Zinapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kupanga chisankho. Koma m'njira zina, zinapangitsanso kuti zikhale zosavuta chifukwa tonsefe tinkafuna kuti ntchitoyi ikhale yosavuta komanso yopanda ululu monga momwe tingathere, chifukwa cha ana athu ndi amayi anga," akutero Sarah.

Kupatukana ndi kupitiriza ndi moyo kumakhala kovuta kwambiri ngati muli awiriawiri. Koma kodi mungatani ngati mwapatukana ndi munthu amene mumamuwona tsiku lililonse ndipo miyoyo yanu imakhudza makolo, ana, ndalama, ndi zina zomwe zimayikidwa mu moyo wanu wogawana?

Kambiranani za izi. Siyani mavuto anu ndi mkwiyo wanu pang'ono ndipo mvetsetsani kuti ndinu akuluakulu omwe ali ndi maudindo aubwenzi . Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simusamala za momwe mukumvera. Koma pumulani kukhala mnzanu wokwiya, wachisoni, komanso wosokonezeka kwa mphindi zochepa ndipo kambiranani moona mtima za momwe mungachitire ndi ana anu komanso ndalama zanu. Gawani nthawi yanu ndi ntchito zanu zosamalira mwachilungamo. Dziwani zosowa zanu ndi za mnzanu, khalani okoma mtima, khalani othandiza, ndipo chitani zomwezo.

7. Kumvetsetsa zomwe mwatsala pang'ono kutaya

Pamene mukusiyana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu, pamene mungapitirizebe kuvutitsidwa ndi kukaikira, ndikofunika kukhala ndi chithunzithunzi chomveka bwino cha zinthu zomwe mudzakhala mukuzisiya. Mwina tsiku lina, pansi pamzere, mudzalumikizana pamlingo wa platonic, koma pakadali pano, mukudula kulumikizana kwakukulu ndi chilichonse chomwe chimabwera nacho.

Ngati mukusiyana chibwenzi chanu muli pachibwenzi, izi zidzakhala zovuta kwambiri. Mwina uwu ndi ubale wofunika kwambiri m'moyo wanu, mukusiyana ndi munthu amene amakukondani ndi mtima wake wonse. Ngakhale utakhala ubale wa mbali imodzi, amadziwa makhalidwe anu, zomwe zimakukwiyitsani, komanso zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Ndipo mumawadziwa bwino. Momwe amamwa khofi wawo, chikondi chawo pa malaya okhala ndi kolala, kudana kwawo ndi nyimbo za trance, ndi zina zotero. Koma muyenera kukambirana moona mtima ndi inu nokha ndikukumana ndi zoona.

Sipadzakhalanso kugawana nthabwala zamkati, palibe kutsimikizika kuti muli ndi wina yemwe angatenge zogula ngati mwaiwala, wina woti azikalipira mukakhala ndi tsiku loyipa, chitonthozo chodziwa kuti mudzakhala mukugawana bedi lofunda ndi thupi lomwe mukudziwa komanso lanu. Monga zokhumudwitsa momwe zimamvekera, kupatukana ndi wokondedwa wanu kudzasiya dzenje lalikulu m'moyo wanu, ndipo muyenera kudziwa izi.

8. Khalani okoma mtima momwe mungathere

Izi zikhala zovuta, koma kupatukana ndi mnzanu wapamtima sikophweka. Ndipo ndithudi sizikhala zophweka ngati mumangokhalira kukangana nthawi zonse.

Mwinamwake mulibenso chilichonse chofanana ndipo mwasiyana, mwinamwake pali kusakhulupirika komwe, ndithudi, kungayambitse mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo. Koma muzonsezi, yesani ndikupeza kukoma mtima pang'ono kapena makhalidwe abwino pamene mukuyendetsa zomwe zili kale zowawa.

“Ine ndi mnzanga amene tinakhala naye kwa zaka 8 tinali pafupi kutha,” akutero Meisha. “Pambuyo poti takhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali, tinafika poti sitinalankhulenso bwino ndipo titatero, tinali kungokangana pa zinthu zazing’ono. Panali zizindikiro zonse za ubale wopanda chiyembekezo .”

Chodabwitsa n’chakuti, atagwirizana kuti asiyane, zinakhala zosavuta kukhalirana wina ndi mnzake. “Tinkadziwa kuti sitigwirizananso ngati banja, koma chifukwa chakuti tinagwirizana, sitinakwiyire wina ndi mnzake pamene tikusiyana.

"Sitinalinso m'chikondi, kwenikweni, mwina sitinkakondana kwambiri." Zinali zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri, komanso kumasula kudziwa kuti tikupita patsogolo. Ndinadziwa kuti sindikuganiza kuti, "Ndinangosweka ndi chikondi cha moyo wanga ndikunong'oneza bondo", koma inde, ndikadadandaula ngati tikadakhala zowopsya kwa wina ndi mzake masiku angapo apitawo Meisha.

9. Lingalirani kupeza thandizo la akatswiri

Mukayesa kuthetsa chikondi cha moyo wanu , nthawi zonse ndi bwino kuganizira zolankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Mwina mukufuna kupeza uphungu wa banja ngati njira yomaliza yopulumutsira ubale wanu. Kapena mwina mukufuna kupeza uphungu kuti muthetse maganizo anu musanayambe, panthawi, komanso mutathetsa chibwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu. Ndi bwino kuposa kukhala pansi mukumvetsera nyimbo zokhudza kusweka mtima.

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Kulankhula ndi katswiri kumakuthandizani kuti muchepetse nkhawa komanso kumakukumbutsani kuti simuli nokha. Palibe manyazi kuvomera kuti ndinu achisoni ndikupempha thandizo pang'ono. Kusudzulana kwenikweni ndi imfa ya ubale, ndi moyo monga mukudziwira, ndipo muyenera kudzipatsa nthawi ndi malo kuti mulire.

Muzochitika zotere, kulankhula ndi katswiri ndi njira yabwino yodziyeretsera m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo ndikupangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kupitiliza ndi moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku popanda kukhudzidwa ndi chisoni chanu chonse. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mukufuna thandizo (ndipo kumbukirani, palibe vuto ngati mukufuna thandizo), gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito a Bonobology nthawi zonse amakhala pano ndi khutu lofunitsitsa.

10. Kumbukirani kuti palibe vuto kuwakondabe

Mukuyesera kuthetsa kutha kwa chikondi chenicheni ndipo sizikuchitika chifukwa mukadali odzazidwa ndi chikondi ndi chikondi kwa iwo. Kodi ichi ndi nkhani ya "Ndinangosiyana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanga ndikunong'oneza bondo"? Kodi mwangolakwitsa kwambiri?

Osati kwenikweni, timatero. Sikuti kutha kulikonse kumatanthauza kuti mwadzazidwa ndi utsi kwa wakale wanu ndipo mukufuna kuphwanya matayala awo ndikuwotcha zovala zomwe amakonda. Pakhoza kukhala chikondi chochuluka pakati panu awiri, koma mwina zolinga za moyo wanu ndizosiyana. Nthawi zina, chikondi sichikwanira kuti anthu awiri akhale pamodzi - ndipo ichi ndi chimodzi mwa choonadi chowawa kwambiri chomwe tiyenera kukumana nacho.

Moyo nthawi zambiri umalepheretsa chikondi, koma sizitanthauza kuti chikondi chanu chimatha. Koma ngati ubale ukukhala wolemetsa m'malo mokupangitsani nonse kukhala patsogolo pa moyo wanu, si ubale wabwino ngakhale chikondi chanu chili cholimba bwanji. Ndipo mu ubale wabwino ndi wosasangalatsa , ndi bwino kusankha woyamba.

Ndibwino kuti mupitirize kukonda wokondedwa wanu wakale ngakhale mutasiyana. Onetsetsani kuti sizikukulepheretsani kupita patsogolo m'moyo wanu. Atumizireni ma vibes abwino ndi malingaliro achikondi, ndiye zilekeni. Tikukhulupirira, m'kupita kwa nthawi, mudzatha kuwamasula kwathunthu.

11. Sungani dongosolo lanu lothandizira pafupi

Sitingathe kutsindika izi mokwanira. Kusweka n'kovuta, ndipo ngakhale mutakhala amphamvu, simuyenera kukumana ndi zinthu nokha. Anzanu, achibale anu, ndi okondedwa anu ayenera kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika kuti mukhale ndi anthu oti mulankhule nawo komanso mapewa oti muwalire pamene mukupita patsogolo. Mukusiyana ndi mnzanu wapamtima, mwina njira yanu yayikulu yothandizira, ndipo mudzafunika chikondi ndi TLC kuchokera kumbali zonse chifukwa chakukhumudwa kwanu.

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Lankhulani ndi anzanu, ndipo khalani ndi nthawi yogona mukamapeza bedi lalikulu kwambiri komanso losungulumwa. Pitani kukagula nawo, ndikumetedwa kokongola, kwatsopano. Atumizireni mameseji nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukufuna kuyimbira foni kapena kutumizirana mameseji ndi wakale wanu kuti akuthandizeni. Tikhulupirireni, mufunika izi.

Izi zonse ndi zikumbutso zabwino kuti mumakondedwabe ngakhale mutataya wokondedwa wanu. Ivi vingakuwovyani kuti muleki kuliya ndinyimbo zosi zakukwaskana ndi chivwanu chaki, pamwenga muŵanaŵana kuti muŵanaŵaniyengi anyinu. Nthawi iliyonse mukaganiza, "Ndangosweka ndi chikondi cha moyo wanga ndikunong'oneza bondo", mudzakhala ndi zikumbutso zachikondi za chifukwa chomwe mudapatukana ndi chifukwa chake muyenera kumamatira ndi chisankho.

Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu ndi chisankho chovuta ndipo nthawi zambiri, ndi njira yosokoneza, ndipo mudzafunika njira zothetsera kusweka mtima komwe kumabwera chifukwa cha zimenezi. Ngakhale mutagwirizana kuti sizikuyenda bwino, padzakhala ululu wambiri woti muthane nawo. Khalani okoma mtima kwa inu nokha ndi wina ndi mnzake ngakhale mukamakambirana movutikira, ndipo kumbukirani kuti mumakondedwabe, zivute zitani.

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Okutobala 2022

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