Relationships 101

Sleeping with your best friend? Here are 10 pros and cons

Ever heard of the phrase, "What you are looking for has been here the whole time"? What if the best sex you were yet to experience was with your best friend?
couple cuddling in bed

Has it ever happened that all of a sudden you find your doofy best friend sexually appealing to you and you think, what the hell is wrong? You know for sure that you are not in love with him, but the hormones inside you force you to imagine having sex with him. You know for sure that you want to sleep with your best friend!

Your best friend is like your soul mate. He knows you better than anyone else and knows all of your secrets. What can be better than sharing a deep secret with your best friend by being his friend by day and fuck buddy by night? Think about not having to worry about not getting laid or ending up with some creep.

We all have been down the road of friends with benefits or have thought about it. So what happens when you try this friends with benefits arrangement with your best friend? Does it crank up the heat in your friendship or turn it into ashes? What are the risks? And if it turns out to totally work, then when should you draw the line again?

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10 Pros of sleeping with your best friend

There is nothing wrong in getting attracted to your best friend, and who knows he may be much better than the tins of stupid people you have been dating. You must have liked something about him that you chose him to be your best friend from hundreds of people you know. And , you know your best friend quite well; you may also know what he likes in bed because he might have told you about it. Easy game, right? So we give you 10 advantages of sleeping with your best friend.

What can be better than sharing a deep secret with your best friend by being his friend by day and fuck buddy by night?

1. You are in your comfort zone

No one makes you more comfortable than your best friend. You know everything about each other. You must have even discussed your sex stories with him. He might even know what kind of sex you like and you can freely discuss your dark fantasies and your turn-ons with him. You can be bold enough to be yourself and bring out the inner beast within you.

2. He knows you

Your best friend knows you inside out. You are no stranger to him. He knows the real you and you don’t need to bother about impressing him in any way. You can tell each other how you feel about the sex and also teach each other some of your moves. These things are usually not discussed in a normal relationship as you don’t want to hurt each other’s ego, but discussing it with your best friend turns out to be productive for the both of you.

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3. You are in a drama-free zone

Unlike other relationships that end up with a lot of emotional baggage, this is in the no drama zone. It is easy when you are having sex with your best friend, because you can insult and make fun of each other and laugh it off. You have a fun relationship with your best friend and there is no emotional drama involved to disrupt it.

4. Best of both worlds

As said earlier, you both are friends by day and fuck buddies by night. You get to enjoy the best of your friendship and your sex life with one person. No one questions you both suddenly disappearing and it being a secret is what makes it even more exciting. You can satisfy your sexual urges whenever you want and it comes with no strings attached.

5. There are no judgements involved

There is no judgemental frown if you do anything weird or stupid. You can be your stupid weird self even in bed, because your habits are no surprise for your best friend. There is nothing that will creep him out and you can be yourself around him.

6. He makes you feel secure

So many years of knowing each other builds up a sense of trust and security. You can count on him for things other than sex and he will always be there for you. A regular fuck buddy only responds to booty calls and this is where having your best friend as your fuck buddy feels like the right decision. You are never alone.

7. There is no heartbreak

People who choose to be friends with benefits are those people who are afraid of commitments or heartbreaks. The fear of hurting someone or either being hurt makes them go for the other option- “friends with benefits”. There are no expectations and thus there is no heartbreak.

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8. Keep looking around

“Friends with benefits” is not exclusive. You don’t have to worry about building a future together or being exclusive. You can continue dating other people and even have sex with them. See, it’s that easy. It is better that you keep the fact that you are sleeping around with your best friend a secret from your dates, as it can turn out to be a big turn off for them knowing that there is someone else in the picture too.

9. Great target practice

Having sex with your best friend makes room for more experiments. You can try out new stuff and even get better at your game. Your best friend can fulfil your deep dark fantasies and can even help you find your G spots. It will only help you both become a pro in bed.

10. Doesn’t pinch your pocket

You are not in an actual relationship and do not need to worry about buying expensive presents or going on dates. There is no need to keep thinking about new outfits to wear in front of him. Regular takeouts are more than enough when you hang out with your best friend.

Related reading: My friend-with-benefits might get engaged

10 Cons of sleeping with your best friend

Exciting as it may be, sleeping with your best friend can also cause a lot of landmines to explode. A wrong move can cause you to lose him forever. Or you may end up hurting him or making him feel used. This is why it is very important for you to be aware of the disadvantages of sleeping with your best friend so that you know what you are getting into.

1. Emotions creep in, eventually

Physical intimacy is the door to emotional intimacy. One cannot exist without letting the other in. You may develop a stronger emotional bond and let in unexpected feelings for your best friend. Emotions start clouding your judgement and it all becomes a messy affair.

2. Shit becomes real

After some point of fooling around, you either feel that it was a mistake or realise that it has gone too far. You cannot look at your best friend the same way anymore. Reality tears down the wall of your fantasy and you are filled with regrets.

3. One of you falls in love

Having a physical relationship may bring back feelings that were embedded for a long time. It may also bring in fresh feelings for your best friend. What you thought was lust has now turned into love. What was a casual fling has become something serious for one of you and you both are not in the same place.

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4. Your friendship is never the same

You have crossed the line of friendship by sleeping with each other. Your relationship is never the same and you cannot go back to what you were before. The fact that you both have seen each other naked will always stay in the back of your mind. After crossing the line of friendship it is very difficult to become just friends again.

Your friendship is scarred for life.

5. Jealousy and insecurity creep in

This happens when you are sleeping with each other but dating other people. Your mind will always wonder who is better in bed. You don’t mean to be jealous, but will still constantly compare yourself with your best friend’s partner. You get possessive and feel that she is coming between your best friend and you. The fear of it coming to an end makes you feel insecure.

6. It becomes awkward

Initially when you sleep with your best friend, it becomes awkward for both of you. One day you are farting in front of each other and the next day you both are under the same sheet. You may feel regrets for doing something this stupid.

Once you both get so comfortable that you have to stop it, it again becomes awkward. You pretend to act normal in front of each other but you can feel the awkwardness.

Related reading: 10 signs you are moving from friends to lovers

7. You miss out on a real relationship

You could have hampered the only shot you both had at a real relationship by making each other your fuck buddy. Maybe in Rom Coms, friends with benefits end up falling in love with each other, but in reality this doesn’t happen. Don’t be surprised if all you get out of it is a booty call every now and then.

8. You are siblings

The biggest downside of sleeping with your best friend is that you know each other too well, maybe so well that you are practically siblings. You hang out at each other’s houses most of the time, fight over the last piece of pizza, play pranks and are each other’s family’s favourites. No one suspects you both are sleeping around, because they think of you as siblings and maybe deep down you both too feel so.

9. No PDA

Your relationship is a secret from your friends and thus you cannot show any PDA in front of them or any other person that knows you. At this point, you miss an actual relationship where you could openly hug and kiss your boyfriend in public without having to worry about anything else.

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10. Your friendship is over

If sleeping with your best friend ends on a bad note where both of you were not on the same page, expect your friendship to be over. The one who was there for you all the time can no more be there for you anymore. It has become too much of a mess to be sorted out. One or maybe both of you end up getting hurt.

How to know it’s time to stop sleeping with your best friend?

Being best friends with benefits doesn’t have to be the doom of your friendship. You should be alert enough to realise when to draw the line. If you notice the following signs, it is time to end it.

  1. Your best friend starts getting possessive and jealous
  2. You start having couple fights
  3. He starts caring about you too much
  4. All you ever do together is have sex
  5. Get emotionally involved during sex

Being best friends with benefits is tricky and you need to make sure that it doesn’t cost you your friendship. In order to make “friends with benefits” work, you need to set ground rules and boundaries. You need to remind yourselves to stick to what you have discussed and not make room for any other feelings. Communication is the key to such a relationship, as it is better to talk it out rather than build grudges within you. Make all efforts to keep your friendship intact and who knows, your friendship could actually stand a chance.

My friendship with my guy friend is still going strong, thanks to my husband’s trust

Does a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship actually work?

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