“Wear my undershirt for 2 days & send me.” Linda said to her best friend Chris over a video call.
“So you want to feel me & get my fragrance. Missing me?” Chris replied jokingly.
The third day, Linda received a courier with her undershirt in it and a loving note by Chris.
Their friends with benefits routine was turning into love.
Have you also felt that bolt of lightning when you see your best friend? Do you find him/her sexy all of a sudden and imagine both of you in bed? The thought is exciting but you know that it is not love.
Your best friend is like your soul mate. He knows you better than anyone else and knows all of your secrets. What can be better than sharing a deep secret with your best friend by being his friend by day and fuck buddy by night? Think about not having to worry about not getting laid or ending up with some creep.
We all have been down the road of friends with benefits or have thought about it. So what happens when you try this friend with benefits arrangement with your best friend? Does it crank up the heat in your friendship or turn it into ashes? What are the risks? And if it turns out to totally work, then when should you draw the line again?
Why Would You Have Sex With Your Best Friend?
You crave for intimacy and sex is a sure way of providing the same. So, when you are not a relationship, you wonder from where you can get such closeness. And who will provide it better than your best friend? You need not dedicate your time and invest efforts looking for a relationship as you will get the same in your friendship. That is why best friends who sleep together find it comforting and convenient as they share care and connection just as in a relationship without any demands of commitment.
10 Pros of Sleeping With Your Best Friend
There is nothing wrong in getting attracted to your best friend, and who knows he may be much better than the tins of stupid people you have been dating. You must have liked something about him that you chose him to be your best friend from hundreds of people you know. And , you know your best friend quite well; you may also know what he likes in bed because he might have told you about it. Easy game, right? So we give you 10 advantages of sleeping with your best friend.
What can be better than sharing a deep secret with your best friend? No matter, under which circumstances you decide to sleep with your friend, there are genuine benefits to it. However, make sure that you follow sleeping with your best friend rules. If done just right, you might want to go for it frequently. But beware, as there are risks for it as well. Let’s begin with benefits of having sex with your best friend.
What can be better than sharing a deep secret with your best friend by being his friend by day and fuck buddy by night?
1. You are comfortable with each other
Feeling comfortable with each other is the best feeling. And the person who makes you feel the most comfortable is none other than your best friend. No one makes you more comfortable than your best friend. You know everything about each other, even your deepest fantasies, turn-ons, turn-offs, and experiences.
So, when both of you come together for some fun in bed, chances of having a great time are increased. You can bring out your wild, and kinky side easily, without the fear of being judged.
2. It is safe and convenient
People who have had sex with best friend swear that this is the best way if you want to feel safe and convenient at the same time. If both of you are open with each other about your sex history, you can have safe sex. There will be no room for risks and a hook up without protection. Being acquainted about each other is an advantage.
You can openly tell your likes and dislikes. Your secrets are well-kept along with this new one. You need not guess or wonder if your sleeping partner likes certain moves or not because you know them. You are not pressurized into a committed relationship.
3. No drama
Unlike other relationships that end up with a lot of emotional baggage, this is in the no drama zone. It is easy when you are having sex with your best friend, because you can call names and make fun of each other and laugh it off. You have a fun relationship with your best friend and there is no emotional drama involved to disrupt it.
Both of you each other inside out. You need not make efforts to impress the other one. Saying what you feel comes naturally and the other person will understand it as your real self is open. You can share your sex expertise and have a great time. In relationships, you can’t be this open. Thus, once you have had sex with best friend, there is no room for drama.
4. Best of both worlds
What is better than finding friendship and great sex in one person? While sleeping with your best friend, you can have the best of both the worlds – friendship and amazing sex. No one questions you both suddenly disappearing and it being a secret is what makes it even more exciting. You can satisfy your sexual urges whenever you want and it comes with no strings attached.
Best friend knows your stress, anxiety, and depression triggers. They can thus be great at relieving you off these through their moves in bed. You know whom to look up to when the hormones get active or you want some attention and comfort. You need not look up to dating apps or bars for hook ups as you have the most eligible partner in your best friend.
5. You get it out of your system
At times, we just need some action to calm our brain when it obsesses over sex. You need not worry about finding a date or worrying about the stranger when you have your buddy by your side, who is ready to go that extra mile with you. Once you get a good dose of it, you can get back to work content. Here, best friends who sleep together are great.
You can have your fill of the desire and get back to work and other chores satisfied and without any hot sex rushes on your mind.
6. You get practice
Ross lately got into a relationship but being inexperienced in sex; he was avoiding intimacy with his girlfriend Rachael. His relationship was thus going through troubled waters. He shared his problem with his best friend Georgia who was in a relationship since three years.
Being quite an expert at love making, Georgia slept with Ross to help him know how to please a woman. They loved doing it with each other. Now though both have different partners, Ross and Georgia sleep together for better practice and more fun. They are true friends and now their friendship also has some ‘benefits’.
This opens ways for more experiments and moves. You can not just up your game but also get better at it. While your fantasies are fulfilled, your erogenous spots are also discovered.
7. No heartbreak
Monika had a bad breakup and she was missing her boyfriend, especially how he used to make her feel during sex. She was once sharing her feelings for him with Joshua, her best friend. Seeing her devastated, Joshua asked if she wants to relive those moments with him. A broken Monika said yes and Joshua made love to her.
Multiple orgasms happened and Monika got to know a new side of Joshua! And this came with the plus of not having any heartbreak while getting mind-blowing sex!
Here the importance of friends with benefits can be understood. You need not be scared of hurting someone or being hurt, while your deepest desires are taken care of compassionately.
8. You feel secure
One of the benefits of sleeping with your best friend is that you know each other for years. No wonder, there is trust and a feeling of being safe with each other. You can count on him for things other than sex and he will always be there for you.
A regular fuck buddy only responds to booty calls and this is where you feel like having taken the correct decision when you have had sex with best friend. You are never left out.
9. You can keep your options open
Among the foremost benefit of sleeping with your best friend is that you need not be exclusive. You don’t have to worry about building a future together or being exclusive. You can continue dating other people and even have sex with them.
See, it’s that easy. It is better that you keep the fact that you are sleeping around with your best friend a secret from your dates, as it can turn out to be a big turn off for them knowing that there is someone else in the picture too.
10. Doesn’t pinch your pocket
You are not in an actual relationship and do not need to worry about buying expensive presents or going on dates. There is no need to keep thinking about new outfits to wear in front of him. Regular takeouts are more than enough when you hang out with your best friend.
Related reading: My friend-with-benefits might get engaged
10 Cons of Sleeping With Your Best Friend
Exciting as it may be, sleeping with your best friend can also cause a lot of landmines to explode. A wrong move can cause you to lose him/her forever. You might also end up hurting your best friend or making him/her feel used. This is why it is very important for you to be aware of the disadvantages of sleeping with your best friend so that you know what you are getting into.
1. One of you falls in love
Childhood buddies, Parker and Helena had a one night stand after some drinks. The next morning, Parker smiled and was happy when recollected the fling. He began feeling romantically for Helena. On the other hand, Helena felt bad about having slept with Parker. Now, Parker wants to make things work and Helena is disturbed for having spoilt the friendship. One fine evening, he proposed Helena.
What do you think, how would have Helena reacted? She was baffled! And bluntly told him that it was just the side-effect of some drinks down, nothing more than that. He too shouldn’t have thought that way. Parker was left with unrequited love and that too from his childhood friend.
Truly, physical intimacy is the door to emotional intimacy. You may develop a stronger emotional bond and let in unexpected feelings for your best friend.
2. Your friendship is at stake
Once you have slept with your best friend, there is no way back to normal friendship. You have crossed the line and are at the risk of ruining your friendly bond. The fact that you both have seen each other naked will always stay in the back of your mind.
You might end up having a sex partner and lose a best friend. And your friendship might get scarred for life. If you are dependent on your best friend for support, sex might mess it up. Can you afford losing your best friend for sex?
3. Your Friendship Feels Awkward
Even if your friendship doesn’t hit the rock bottom after sleeping with your best friend, its quality might get compromised. You might not be able to discuss the same stuff with each other. Initially, you would have been texting and calling each other throughout the day. But after having sex, your actions and interactions might be overanalyzed. At the same time, you might also need to get distant from your bestie or might come across as needy.
4. People May Judge You
If you do let people in on the fact that you are thinking about or actually having sex with your best friend, you might receive some ire. People are likely to condemn you for making such a “foolish” decision. Others might encourage you to begin a relationship even if that’s not what you want.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t tell anyone, but you should choose someone who can be supportive and balanced without issuing judgment on you and your bestie. And it might be necessary to find someone to whom you can speak about this big thing.
Related reading: 10 signs you are moving from friends to lovers
5. The Sex Might Be Bad
The thrill of sleeping with your best friend is irresistible but it comes with the risk of having the worst sex of your life. And this is an unfortunate fact. Sometimes it’s the first time (get tips for first time sex) and things will improve as you get to know each others’ desires and bodies.
But sometimes you are just not sexually compatible. So what do you do if the sex with your best friend is bad? If you never want to have sex with them again? If this is so, you are in an awkward situation. You can’t tell your bestie that you didn’t like it as you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Looking someone in the eye after you’ve had sex can sometimes be awkward, but if the sex was bad and he/she is your best friend, it could be mortifying.
6. Jealousy and insecurity creep in
When you sleep with your best friend but continue to date other people, there is a confusion that keeps you occupied. You wonder who is better in bed, your date or your bestie.
The thought of not performing better than your best friend’s partner will also haunt you. This might also make you feel jealous of someone else’s presence in your friendship. The fear of being second to the other person in bed and losing your bond makes you jealous and insecure.
7. You don’t know how to react
After some point, you either feel that it was a mistake or realize that it has gone too far. You cannot look at your best friend the same way anymore. Reality tears down the wall of your fantasy and you are filled with regrets.
Initially when you sleep with your best friend, it becomes awkward for both of you. One day you are farting in front of each other and the next day you both are under the same sheet. You may be remorseful for doing something this stupid.
8. You miss out on a real relationship
Turning into friends with benefits from the best of buddies, your real relationship gets compromised to a great extent. Only in reel life best friends fall in love after a hookup but in real life, it rarely happens. Don’t be surprised if all you get out of it is a booty call every now and then.
If sleeping with your best friend ends where both of you were not on the same page, expect your friendship to be doomed. The one who was always there on your beck and call will not be there anymore when you need him/her the most. It becomes messy and you end up hurt.
9. Things get complicated
The biggest downside of sleeping with your best friend is that everything that was simple and clear between both of you gets complicated. As you are also well-accepted at each other’s place, your families have seen you playing pranks and doing stuff like fighting over the last piece of pizza.
Once you have slept together, you somewhere have this new incident at the back of your mind and behaving as usual becomes difficult. You have to pose everything is normal, which actually isn’t.
10. No PDA
The new development in your friendship is top secret. You can’t behave like a couple openly in the public. This cuts all the chances of any PDA. Here, you can’t behave like just friends and the new relationship makes you all the more conscious.
At this point, you miss an actual relationship where you could openly hug and kiss your boyfriend in public without having to worry about anything else.
How to know it’s time to stop sleeping with your best friend?
Being best friends with benefits doesn’t mean that your friendship has reached a dead-end. You must realize when to draw the line. If you notice the following signs, it is time to end it.
- Your best friend starts getting possessive and jealous
- You start having couple fights
- He starts caring about you too much
- All you ever do together is have sex
- Get emotionally involved during sex
Being best friends with benefits is tricky and you need to make sure that it doesn’t cost you your friendship. In order to make “friends with benefits” work, you need to set ground rules and boundaries. You need to remind yourselves to stick to what you have discussed and not make room for any other feelings.
Set clear boundaries before embarking on this adventure to have sex with your bestie. Communication is the key to such a relationship, as it is better to talk it out rather than being confused, guilt, or holding grudges. Make all efforts to keep your friendship intact as you don’t want to lose your best friend because of a mistake.
And who knows, your friendship could actually stand a chance. Communication is the key to such a relationship, as it is better to talk it out rather than build grudges within you. Make all efforts to keep your friendship intact and who knows, your friendship could actually stand a chance.
Does sleeping with a friend ruin the friendship?
Everyone won’t agree that sleeping with a friend ruins friendship. However, it should be kept in mind that things can change at a faster rate than you have expected. You should take time to analyze if this new twist in your friendship will not adversely affect your bond. Decide what will be in favor of your friendship and if this is worth it.
Although, sex with your best friend won’t mandatorily spoil your friendship but it will definitely change the nature of your bond in one or the other way. Have an honest conversation to be on the same page and discuss how you feel about it.
What to do after sleeping with a friend?
If you have slept with your best friend, your friendship is not necessarily ended. You can stay friends like always. All you have to do is to keep communication open, avoid common pitfalls, and your post-sex friendship will remain intact.
Usually people regret having sex in a friendship and being intimate. Try to overcome the feelings of being resentful and that you have been used. Don’t expect more than your friend is willing to give. Make attempts to understand each other’s perspective after sleeping together and align with the same.
Respect the new feelings and accept the fact that you are now stepped ahead in the friendship. Try to keep things as casual as they were initially and don’t let this development distort the beauty of your bond.
How to go back to being friends after sleeping together?
Sleeping together doesn’t mean that you have to call it quits. Let your friend know how much you value their friendship.He/she needsto understand that you still cherish him/her and you didn’t use them for your purpose. Give them some space to breathe, analyze, and come back.
Do not over think what has happened. Let it be. Accept it and move together in friendship. Share your feelings honestly and be determined to not let that hookup happen ever again. If one of you wants a relationship now, have an open conversation about it. Feelings can change with time. They might meet someone amazing and be rightly treated as they deserve to be, while being friends with you.