Time heals a broken heart, but spirituality heals a broken relationship
In my life of 32 years, I have been heartbroken two times. The first time around I wanted to get “under” someone to get “over” someone, but soon I realised that it did not work. In fact, it made me even more depressed. My so-called “friends” whom I call my “acquaintances” kept telling me to give it time. Time does heal a lot of things, but it only mends the broken heart. Little does it do to repair and further strengthen the relationship with your partner. Some of the techniques that I have myself used to overcome heartbreak and make my bond with my partner stronger are listed ahead.
First, let me tell you the story of my second heartbreak.
One year through my relationship with my boyfriend (now my spouse, we’ve spent 5 years together as on today), I found out that he had cheated on me. I was shattered, angry, depressed, frustrated and was feeling like the biggest fool all at the same time. Although I knew that I loved him a lot, I just could not get myself to believe that this was happening to me. I did not want to leave him nor did I want to stay with him. After all his efforts to apologise and have me back, he managed to convince me to continue being with him and give him a chance to prove his love for me. I decided to give in and allowed it some time for my feelings of heartbreak and anger to fade away. I realised that it was not helping me at all, so I clung on to spirituality.
What helped me heal my relationship with my cheating partner
Meditation, connecting to your inner soul and the higher power simultaneously and looking at yourself from a third person’s perspective, helped me keep my prejudices aside and understand the reality that “to err is human, but to do nothing about it is not”. It was time, and moreover the spiritual connection I had that helped me understand that my partner had made a blunder and that he was truly, deeply and helplessly in love with me. I learnt about the spiritual path after speaking to my father’s friend who is also an astrologer. He suggested reading books on taking the spiritual path.
Some of the things that I did to strengthen my bond with my partner:
1. Speak to your inner soul
I have always asked my inner self about why he did what he did and why does he still want to be with me. I only heard the voices of my soul and went with my gut, while all my friends and family told me to leave him, as they believed in “once a cheater always a cheater”. My bond with my partner is no longer just sexual. As a result of spirituality, our souls are connected and our relationship has lasted five long years through the ups and downs, and neither of us can even begin to think of a life without each other.
2. Spirituality helps to let go
How many times have you had a fight with your partner and wished if only you did not have to deal with this moron? Every relationship will see these episodes and mine is no exception. With spirituality, I have learnt to let go and forgive as well as forget. It teaches you to respect the other person as a soul who is similar to yours, just that it resides in a body that may be different from you.
To give you another example, my cousin who got married at 34 always led his life on the path of spirituality. It was so intense that he even decided to give up worldly pleasures and take “sanyaas”. However, due to societal pressures, he finally got married. His wife explains that they have been able to strengthen their bond only because their values, beliefs, principles are compatible due to the spiritual path of being grounded they have taken. I am not sure how sexually compatible they are, but I know for sure that they will stand by each other in thick and thin.
3. Stop shadow boxing
The spiritual path leads you to attain an inner quiet, that tells you to cut the drama out. Instead of tiring yourself by allowing negative thoughts about your partner, you can meditate, do some gardening or whatever that brings your body, soul and mind together. In my case, I started learning the piano and it made my inner self shut up and make way to bring me closer to my partner. I also started chanting “mantras” to quiet my inner voice and thereby learnt the true sense of “this too shall pass”.
In many cases, spirituality is misunderstood as giving up on love and focusing on your soul to attain a higher state of mind. But if you can use it to bring your soul closer to your partner’s then there is nothing to lose but only to gain a lot of love, affection, companionship and joy in your married life or love relationship.