Will He Come Back After Silent Treatment? 15 Ways To Make Sure He Does

Emotional Stress | | , Writer & Editor
Updated On: May 27, 2024
will he come back after silent treatment

Imagine you’ve just had a huge fight with your SO and you end up breaking up for a while, trying to give each other some space. But when he sends you a “hi” after a few weeks, you simply refuse to reply or show him love. You don’t receive his phone calls either and skilfully leave his texts and DMs on ‘seen’ even after a month. Well, you’ve basically mastered the art of the silent treatment. But will he come back after silent treatment? And will he miss you if you keep ignoring him this way? How strong is the power of silence after breakup? 

Silence is a powerful tool but should be used wisely. In this article, we’ll delve into questions about the effectiveness of the silent treatment on men. We’ll not only find out what they think during the silent treatment but will also unearth ways to make him miss you and make sure he gets back again. So, if you’re not sure about how to make a guy miss you after a breakup or are wondering, “How do I make my ex miss me with the silent treatment?”, let’s begin without much ado…

What Does A Man Think When A Woman Goes Silent

Well, if you’ve ever given your man the silent treatment after a breakup, you must be wondering if it had any impact on him at all. Here’s what a Reddit user feels about the silent treatment: “If you mean silent treatment as no contact, that’s usually the best way for the dumped to move on and stop thinking about the relationship. If you’re talking about the dumper it’s probably so they don’t have to face the guilt of breaking up and hurting the other person. Or just blatant indifference, who knows? Everyone is different and has different reasons and motives for not wanting to talk.”

Related Reading: The Right Way To Use Power Of Silence After A Breakup

So, are you too wondering what your man thinks when you go silent after the two of you have parted ways? Will it make him sad? Will he feel guilty? Will he want to reach out? Are you often wondering, “How do I make my ex miss me with silence?” Let’s look at a few possibilities of what a man might think when you go silent:

  • He may end the chase: What makes an ex come back is a true concern. So, while some men may be genuinely interested in knowing what you’re going through, others, who aren’t too emotionally involved in the relationship, might end the chase and stop bothering you because they just aren’t that into you. So, a simple answer to what an emotionally unavailable man thinks during the silent treatment is that he probably doesn’t care anymore
  • He may be scared to follow up: We often find women complaining that they get a lot of unwanted attention. And in such cases, where you’ve given your man the silent treatment, he may be scared that he’ll end up making a fool of himself if he gets in touch again. So, he may just stop following up
  • He may be happy with his space: Your man might actually be able to think about the relationship clearly once you’ve given him the silent treatment. He may get the time required to process your reaction and may actually be thinking of getting back after he realizes his mistake
  • He may be curious: Often, guys end up realizing your value after you’ve given them the silent treatment. So, it’s likely that your man may suddenly stalk you more on social media, start talking again, or start liking or commenting on your pictures after a week or so, as he may be curious to know how you’re doing without him
  • His ego may be hurt: Once you hurt a man’s ego with the silent treatment, there are two possibilities. One: he may withdraw and not reach out at all, and two: he may start calling you or texting you to make amends, but after a certain time has passed. Either way, he will be wondering if he still has a chance with you
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Use Silence To Make Him Miss You When He Pulls Away

So now that you know what a man thinks when you go silent, let’s look at a few answers to your burning question, “How do I make my ex miss me when he pulls away?” Well, the silent treatment, if used in moderation, can be a great way to make your true emotions felt and your value evident. 

And will he come back after silent treatment? It depends on a lot of factors. You see, silence is a powerful tool but it must be used mindfully lest it turns into a toxic cycle of playing games to hurt him or a mere stonewalling tactic. As a study has proved, the silent treatment can go a long way in disrupting the sense of “belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence” of the person at the receiving end.

Related Reading: 8 Benefits Of Silent Treatment And Why It’s Great For A Relationship

So, are you often wondering, “How to make him miss me, without hurting him”? Well, we have a few tips for you to use the silent treatment the right way. Here they go:

  • Don’t make it the norm: If you have no idea how to make a guy miss you after a breakup, well, take our word for it. Don’t overdo it. While silence may work once in a while, if it becomes a habit and the no-contact rule is overdone, you can rest assured that you have deeper issues to take care of. Also, repetitive use of silence may make you predictable and may not always be successful in making him come back. In extreme cases, it may backfire, and he may go silent altogether. This may make you wonder, “Why is my boyfriend giving me the silent treatment?”
  • Keep family and friends out of your dynamic: In your bid to figure out “how to make him miss me when I go silent”, don’t let a third party influence your decision. While it’s a good idea to hang out with your family and good friends when you’re using silence to make him miss you, don’t make the mistake of making your decisions blindly, based on their advice. Take your own call about when to respond and when not to. This is how you can make him miss you when he pulls away
  • Be silent only when the relationship is healthy: So, you broke up and now want to make him miss you. But are you sure you’re not using silence with the wrong partner and inviting more trouble? Consider the reasons why you two had a tiff. Was it something that can be sorted out or something more bitter such as physical harm or gaslighting? Remember, silence only works in healthy relationships and what makes an ex come back is genuine love/romantic feelings. Dysfunctional relationships need professional guidance, and you shouldn’t play games for a quick-fix
  • Be active on social media: They say, “Out of sight, out of mind.” And rightly so. The no-contact rule works well when you’re doing everything that you used to do together, but just not with him, and are intelligent enough to make him know about it. So, you may meet your male friends, go on a shopping spree, catch up with school buddies at the movies, or enjoy a sumptuous meal at your favorite restaurant. Make sure you post all of this on social media and keep your accounts public. He’s sure to stalk you and miss you 

Related Reading: 8 Things That Ruin Relationships And You Don’t Even Realize it

Will He Come Back After Silent Treatment? 15 Ways To Make Sure He Does

Will he come back after the silent treatment? Well, the power of silence after a breakup grows manifold if you use it wisely. In case you do want him to get in touch with you, follow a clear strategy, free of negativity and focused on problem-solving. 

But how does one make sure he gets back after receiving silence from you? My friend, Ayesha, once called me up to share the pain of a temporary breakup with her ex-boyfriend, Rick. As she narrated her ordeal, she sighed, “Will my ex come back?” Three months later, he was back. And not by magic. It was because I shared some tried-and-tested tips with her to get him back. Here I am sharing those tips with you to make the process of winning back your ex easier. So, let’s go through them:

1. Engage in self-reflection

how do i make my ex miss me
Introspect a little

While you’ve been busy giving him the silent treatment to make him miss you, try and use this lull to think over your reactions and gain a better understanding. The first mistake you may make is to react or make a decision too quickly. Introspect a little and find out how you can make a difference once he gives you a signal he’s going to get back. Ask yourself:

  • Am I ready to forget everything and forgive him?
  • Has he been making the same relationship mistakes too often?
  • Will I be fine with dealing with the same issues again, if he comes back?

Related Reading: 8 Conflict Resolution Strategies In Relationships That Almost Always Work

2. Process what went wrong

Once you’ve started the silent treatment, there’s no going back. But you can be a mature person and process what went wrong in the first place. Jot down the real issues. Why did you two drift apart? Ask yourself:

  • Is it because of the work pressure?
  • Is it because he didn’t share the household/domestic chores
  • Is it because you both have drifted apart as far as your values are concerned?

3. Opt for healthy communication

To make sure the silent treatment works to your benefit, try a different strategy altogether. Instead of overdoing the silent treatment, try preparing the ground for open communication with him. Now that you’ve done your homework with regard to what went wrong.

Related Reading: Communication Problems In Relationships – 11 Ways To Overcome

4. Set clear boundaries

Before you ask yourself, “Will he come back after silent treatment?”, you would definitely wish to keep a positive relationship framework ready, in case he does, wouldn’t you? So, set clear boundaries before you welcome him back into your life. Make sure he gets back but lay down some terms. Healthy boundaries could look like this:

  • Making it clear that you aren’t fine with him flirting with your friends or colleagues
  • Laying down some digital detox rules, such as no phones in the bedroom
  • Clarifying your expectations regarding household work

5. Give him the benefit of the doubt

Yes, you’re hurt and are terribly disappointed with him. You’ve given him the silent treatment and are now waiting for him to get in touch again. You’re constantly wondering, “Will he come back after silent treatment?”

Give him the benefit of the doubt after the silent treatment

So, isn’t it a good idea to give him the benefit of the doubt? Don’t assume he’s rude if he doesn’t contact you right away. Give him some time to process this situation. He’ll probably not call or send text messages but may start showing his willingness to get back by sending you an emoji or heart-reacting to an old post of yours on social media. So, stop judging so soon. 

6. Seek professional help

Well, if you think giving him the silent treatment has been tough for you and you still can’t come to terms with the hurt that he’s put you through or you can’t stop fixating on “Will my ex come back?”, don’t hesitate to seek professional help to address your mental health. If you’re considering getting help, Bonobology’s counseling services are at your disposal. 

Related Reading: Breakup Healing Process – How To Heal After A Breakup

7. Hurt his ego but not him

Yes, use the power of silence after breakup till you think he’s not learned his lesson. Don’t answer his calls. Completely ignore his DMs and texts. Make him miss you when he pulls away. Make sure he ends up with his false ego hurt and tattered. But don’t overdo it. Don’t make it a contest of putting him down and make sure you don’t end up hurting his self-esteem beyond repair. This is what you need to avoid when you’re giving him the silent treatment but want him to come back:

  • Social media rants berating him
  • Gossiping about him with your friends and family 
  • Ridiculing him behind his back, and making sure your common friends tell him that

8. Let him apologize

Okay, so you’ve stopped texting him or talking to him. But make sure you keep a channel of communication open for him to apologize or make amends. Don’t make the mistake of blocking him everywhere. Make sure you receive his texts, even if you leave them on ‘seen’. This is one of the most effective answers to “how to make him miss me with the silent treatment”.

Related Reading: 20 Proven Ways To Make Him Feel Guilty For Hurting You

9. Look for common ground

How do you get past the hurt and resentment while giving him the silent treatment? Well, to make yourself ready to receive him with some love when he eventually does get back, look for common ground. Think of shared interests or go through your happy memories of the past. Make sure you think positive and don’t overthink and ruin your chances of getting back together later by being too pessimistic or bitter.

10. Reciprocate if they show any changes

Has the thought “how to make him miss me with silence” been on your mind a lot? This is understandable. Since you’re not talking to him, how do you make sure he gets back? More importantly, how do you make him realize you want to get him back? By making an effort to reciprocate if he makes it clear he’s ready to change his ways. Well, nobody is asking you to send him lovey-dovey “I miss you” texts right away!  Give him subtle hints instead. Here are some instances:

  • If he’s quit smoking (a habit that irked you) and has put up a social media post about it, go ahead and like it
  • If he’s put up an Instagram story about how he misses you, go ahead and drop a ‘puppy eyes’ emoji

Related Reading: 7 Strategies To Stop Fighting In A Relationship

11. Don’t try too hard

The key to how to make someone miss you and want you back lies in not trying too hard. Of course, you want to give him the silent treatment to make him realize how much he needs you. Of course, you want to show him the power of silence after breakup. But that doesn’t mean you need to accept him with open arms the moment he shows a little bit of interest in you again. 

So, if he’s sent you a selfie all of a sudden, don’t heart-react it right away. That might make you look like you were trying too hard to get his attention. Leave him on ‘read’ for a couple of days before you respond. After all, just because he’s back, doesn’t mean he values you or wishes to be with you for good. He could just be playing mind games, for all you know!

Infographic on will he come back after silent treatment
15 ways to make sure he gets back after the silent treatment

12. Focus on personal growth and self-care

Make sure you don’t neglect your own well-being while you’re giving him the silent treatment. So, don’t forget to evolve into your best version and:

  • Go out for solo trips
  • Have girl gang parties on weekends
  • Pamper yourself with some shopping and beauty treatments
  • Hit the gym regularly and take care of your well-being
  • Focus on new hobbies, be it dance, music, or books

And at the same time, make sure you let him know subtly that you’re having fun without him too. So, put up quirky Instagram posts, Facebook updates, and WhatsApp status messages. Watching you have the time of your life without him will definitely draw him toward you if he really cares. And very soon, you won’t have to wonder, “Will my ex come back to me?”

Related Reading: Communication Problems In Relationships – 11 Ways To Overcome

13. Don’t neglect your loved ones

Another tip to make sure you have him back after the silent treatment is not to neglect your other relationships. So, hang out with your close friends, spend time with your parents, go out with your coworkers – and make sure you post your fun moments on social media. He should know you have other people in your life who care about you. This may make him reevaluate your value in his life. When he does, chances are he will miss you and want to get back.

14. Pay attention to the details

Apart from keeping a watch on his reactions to your social media posts, look out for other signs that he wants to get back. For instance:

  • Did he just bump into you at the mall last Sunday?
  • Did he send you a “Hi” by ‘mistake’ in your DMs?
  • If he’s someone you meet every day at work or in college, does he show any change in body language when he’s around you? Does he stare at you often or sit close to you?

These are signs he wants you back. Make sure you read them and model your behavior accordingly.

dating problem

15. Keep an open mind

Lastly, keeping an open mind is the best bet when it comes to making sure he comes back after the silent treatment. So, instead of drowning in negative thoughts and wondering, “Will my ex come back?”, try and think how and in which ways he can get back. Manifest a reunion, and you’re halfway there! Once he is back or has started talking, try to resolve issues that drove you apart before talking about a reconciliation.

Key Pointers

  • When you give a man the silent treatment, he may be curious, may withdraw, or may try to contact you, depending on your relationship dynamic
  • When you want to use silence to make him miss you, don’t make it the norm and keep your family and friends out of it
  • Will he come back after silent treatment? Yes, certainly, if you can process what went wrong, opt for open and healthy communication, and set clear boundaries

Will he come back after silent treatment? Well, we hope after reading this article, you now know that whether silence will make him miss you or not depends entirely on your relationship dynamics. And silence should be used sparingly and keeping in mind all circumstances. 

In making use of silence to get him back, make sure you don’t end up being emotionally abusive. In short, don’t overdo it. And definitely make him realize that you want him back in your life. Most importantly, don’t step back from moving forward or getting into a new relationship if he isn’t that into you or if your relationship is turning toxic and harming your well-being. So, don’t worry too much about how to make someone miss you and want you back. Be yourself and leave the rest to fate!

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