“Is s/he really the right one for me? Am I really sure this is going to work?” You wouldn’t be human if thoughts like these didn’t plague your mind before getting into a serious relationship. What’s worse is that in the infatuation stage that usually intoxicates you during a budding romance, signs that you’re in the wrong relationship might slip right by.
Perhaps you’ve been dating for weeks, or you two recently discovered your dynamic might be a little more than “just friends” – only time is going to tell if the relationship will be good for either of you or not.
But when you’re not in the mood to wait around, you’re probably trying to figure out how to tell if you’re in the wrong relationship. Before you pin all your hopes on zodiac sign compatibility, take a look at 5 telltale signs to identify a wrong relationship.
Signs You’re In The Wrong Relationship
“Everything looked so good when we started going out, it felt electrifying,” said John, talking about how his failed romance seemed like the best thing in the world during the initial stages. “The sexual compatibility was off the charts. We felt extremely comfortable with each other and everything seemed too good to be true.”
“I had no reason to ask myself something like, ‘am I in the wrong relationship?’ until, of course, I realized it actually was! The minute we started talking about labels and commitments, the fights that seemed impossible a week ago wouldn’t stop cropping up. We realized we’re not good for each other and broke up shortly after,” he says.
Though your dynamic may look like the best thing that has happened to you in a long time, it’s possible you’re just looking at it through the murky lenses of infatuation. Take a look at the following signs that you’re in a bad relationship, so you don’t end up fighting during every conversation just a few weeks into the relationship.
1. You two are very different people
Now we don’t mean you and your partner need to be two peas in a pod. In fact, it’s healthy to have contrasting yet complimentary personalities for a happy and long-term relationship. It’s true what they say, opposites do attract.
But if you two have major personality differences when it comes to how you spend your time, your belief system and personal interests, your dynamic might witness a lot more compromise than usual. One of the best ways to spot a bad relationship is to ask your partner if they believe you two can ever be best friends. If you don’t feel the spark and comfort level that best friends do, you might have a problem on your hands.
2. You don’t trust each other
There is no way your relationship will be right for you if you don’t have enough trust in each other. The foundation of a good relationship is knowing that your partner always has your back and keeps no secrets from you. If you lack this quality, there is no way it will be the right union.
The beginning of your relationship is supposed to make you feel like you’re on cloud 9, unbothered by worldly problems. If you’re already worried about whether this new partner is already cheating on you, maybe you need to reconsider the whole thing. As things progress, it will most certainly lead to fights and accusations.
Related Reading: 25 Most Common Relationship Problems
3. You can’t be yourself in front of your partner
If you don’t feel comfortable being your real self in front of your partner, it’s safe to say the relationship will be taxing. If you’re always looking to be at your most presentable, entering into a relationship with this person could be fatal for your emotional well-being. A relationship is supposed to make your life easier, not force you to always wear your best clothes and make-up.
However, If you’re not acting like yourself because of social anxiety, insecurities or low self-esteem, it’s best to discuss it with your partner. But if you’re afraid of being yourself thinking your partner isn’t going to be amused, it’s one of the biggest signs you’re in the wrong relationship.
4. Your goals are very different
Have you talked about your future together? Make sure you know whether you both share the same line of thought about things like living arrangements, financial responsibilities and career goals. If one of you wants to eventually go in for a live-in relationship, but the other one believes in traditional marriage, saying “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it” isn’t going to cut it.
You must figure out if you two are on the same page about important things like eventually settling down together, the kind of life you want and the amount of dogs you’re going to have (because you HAVE to get puppies together). If you’re looking for signs you’re in a bad relationship, not agreeing on future moves is probably the biggest one, but also the hardest one to accept, since things might be going well in the beginning.
5. You are not supportive of each other
If you don’t support each other’s dreams and aspirations, if you are too critical of each other’s views, if you show contempt for each other’s behaviors, then it’s a definite red flag for the future of your relationship. However it’s totally normal to have a little disagreement in a relationship from time to time.
It’s a matter of concern when your opinions are regularly discounted and the other person makes you feel inferior. A partnership is only going to work out when no one feels judged by the other and there is a strong sense of security.
Related Reading: How To Deal With A Controlling Husband?
Thoughts like, “Am I in the wrong relationship?”, might come up after your first big fight, but it’s important to not overthink it. Being in the wrong relationship will make you feel overwhelmed and you’ll probably want to look for a way out sooner or later for the sake of your mental health. Moreover, a long-term study found that those who have been in toxic relationships for an extended period of time have a greater risk of developing heart problems.
At the end of the day, a relationship is supposed to feel like slipping into the right shoe…comfortable. And if it makes you feel that way even when you’re apart, it’s a good dynamic — so congratulations on finding each other!
When you two don’t support or trust each other, chances are the relationship is destined for failure from the very get-go. Another big aspect is whether you believe in mutual future goals or not. To analyze if you’re in the wrong relationship, ask yourself if it makes you feel exhausted or not, when it should be making you feel ecstatic.
As soon as things start getting toxic (i.e., when physical or mental harm is caused), you need to step away from it immediately. Also, if you don’t agree on the basic fundamentals of a relationship and on future plans, you probably need to step away from it as well.
Toxic behavior like gaslighting, narcissism and apathy are all red flags. Other red flags include a lack of trust, a tendency to be jealous and always inciting fights.