Different couples have different reasons to be childfree. Now a days, the concept of DINKS – Double Income No Kids is much on the rise. Infact, whatever be the reasons not to have kids, being child-free by choice is working well for many couples, including many celebrity couples to name.
Reasons not to have kids could be many ranging from career to travel to finances etc. If a couple chooses to be child free, it doesn’t mean that life is not dull or boring or directionless for them! Couples that opt out of parenthood seem to value their partners more. These days, there are movements dedicated to the people who wish to opt out of parenthood that highlight the many benefits of not having kids..
Earlier child-free meant a couple could not have children and neighborhood aunties would give the sympathetic nod to the woman who could not bear children. Things are changing. Maya of 25B , who is an assistant manager at a private bank doesn’t think that having a child is an achievement.
On the contrary, she does not want children because she has no desire to spend the next 20 years of her life cleaning spit-outs, finding nannies or having arguments with her teenage son who has been caught with a cigarette in his bag.
The reasons for not having kids is more of a conscious choice now. Even for young, fertile women like Maya, having a child is not the priority. If she chooses her career over anything else, there are others who realise the different benefits of not having kids and thus, make the informed decision of living a child free life.
A married couple might be avid traveler and they work to sustain the hobby of theirs. They want time away from work to go climbing, or chilling beachside in Fort Kochi, or toke some amongst the greenery in Himachal. All that is not possible with tagging a kid around. It boils down to choice after all.
There are many childhood celebrities who have been very clear who they opted out of parenthood. Oprah Winfrey with a her long standing partner never had plans to raise a child of their own. Likewise, George Clooney and wife are leading a successful childfree life. Jennifer Anniston too clearly stated that she is not in pursuit of motherhood, at least for the time being.
Going childfree is not a selfish choice. I mean look around the world. The Earth is dying, overpopulated as hell (a lot of people go to hell), child hunger is at its peak and yet there are people who deliberately shame you for not wanting to bring a child into this world.
This is not to condone people who want children and in love with the prospect of being parents. And that should be the sole reason to procreate – wanting to and knowing you’re going to be amazing parents. Any other reason – be it societal pressure, your ticking biological clock or your nani asking for a great-grandchild to spoil – are just not good enough and should not matter.
Related reading: What is it like for a Married Couple Not To Have Kids?
What Is Meant By Being A Childfree Couple?
Many people ask, “Is it normal to not want a child?” Childfree couple are those couples who deliberately choose not to procreate, thereby not succumbing to the societal and patriarchal pressure of having children. It does not mean they are selfish.
Having children just for pleasing your society even though you have no interest, time or money to raise a kid is stupid, if not selfish. And it’s better to be selfish than be stupid. Having a child is not an achievement, especially if you are in two minds about committing to parenting.
Still not convinced? Here is why going childfree is actually a wise choice.
15 Awesome Reasons To Be Childfree
1. Think of all the finances
My aunt, mother of one, jokes “Raising an elephant will need less money than raising a child”. Though she meant it in a funny way and absolutely loves her daughter, her exaggeration is understandable. According to a Times of India article, the cost of child rearing from conception to college is about 7 million in Indian Rupees.
Imagine the amount of money that goes into raising a child, that is apart from the entertainment and miscellaneous expenditure for the child. So basically, having a child means you will either have to choose between having a fancy car/ house of your own or raising a child who might turn out to be a brat. The choice is pretty simple, no? Are you willing to compromise without cribbing about it?
2. Environmental benefits
Newsflash: the world is dying. While you talk about having grandkids, Mother Earth shakes her polluted fingers at you and say “Haven’t you heard? Y’all either drown or be gassed to death in a few years” World hunger is at its peak.
Population is on the rise. Snowcaps are melting. And don’t even get me started on how inhumane everyone has become.Do you really need a child to grow up in this world because you think they will look after you when you are old?The best-case scenario is your 45-year-old child wearing an oxygen mask and night vision goggles because Delhi is maddeningly polluted right now.
Or you can do your bit for the planet and instead of adding another mouth to feed you can educate other kids (and adults) not to litter. This should ideally give some respite to your childfree regret.
Related reading: I want a child but my husband doesn’t. How do I deal with this?
3. You don’t want to be a parent
You are as cool as a couple can be. But you just don’t see yourself as a parent. Being a parent means being responsible for your household and your kid and you have barely learnt how to not sleep through the afternoon on Saturday. Trust me, being childfree is awesome. If you are not ready, you should not go for it either.
4. You don’t want to have a legacy
Having someone to pass on your ‘daulat’ and houses to is not a good enough reason for some to have children. No matter how large the legacy is you can still be put into an old age home by your children.
5. You can always be on the go
Live life. Travel.
If you are the kind of couple who work hard the entire week with the sweet prospect of a road trip to a nearby place during the weekend, which is not possible when you have a crying, pooping toddler who refuses to get dressed, then in that case you cannot have the child-free regret.
Without a baby on board, you can choose to travel when you want, how you want. And without the added expense of raising a child, you have the means to actually make impromptu plans. And boy! That’s amazing, isn’t it?Isn’t that one of the biggest benefits of not having kids?
Related reading: NoBabyLand: Why we chose to be childfree
6. No spending hours at PTAs
No kids. No school. No PTAs. No annual functions to sit through or watch your child practice the same dance seven times in a row now or sit through other kids’ performances who you barely know.
7. Have better things in the house
The techno shard edges of the tables contrasts the winding stairs in your house and you love it. It’s not a kid safe place but you like the feel, the vibe of your house and you don’t need to worry about your kid falling down. The Santangelo Altar bowl can be put at the dining table with no fear of a kid breaking it.
Your curtains will be paint free, your walls won’t have random words written with crayons. No spilled milk, no toys lying around, no worries about the half empty wine bottle under your bed. Literally you can choose to have nice things in the house with no thought of having to babyproof the place.
8. You can sleep well
No routine diaper-change call at 2:30 every night for two straight years. No pushing your partner to clean up the bedsheet because little Ricky had an accident last night. You can fall asleep on the couch while binge-watching The Office.
9. Your instinct is more apt in handling your professional work
Your instinct at designing is best when totally channeled to handing work crisis, rather than keeping an eye on your child in his crib because babies can be awful, they can drive you up the wall. Your instincts are right, just not apt for handling a baby. Without any distraction, you will be able to focus on your work, even if you are working from home.
10. You and your partner can work things on your own
Sometimes, couples have babies to fix a marriage. But that can give unrealistic expectation to stay in a crappy marriage just for the child. You don’t need a baby thrown in the mix because your partner and you are on the same page and would rather communicate and work on the marriage rather than having a baby to fix it.
11. You have an old age plan
People who explain you need children because they will take care of you when you’re old, do check how the number of old age homes have increased in the recent years.
Jenni from Mumbai, who doesn’t have any childfree regret says, ” I do not want to impose my self on my children for my well-being. I have my partner and my forever group of friends who will get old with me. And I happily intend to be childfree”.
12. Your faith in the worldly crimes is making you less tolerant
Look at the world. With children, you will spend half of your sleeping hours thinking if they have reached home safely and not getting raped and murdered in an alley. You don’t need the stress, do you?
Related reading: 5 ways our married life changed after a baby
13. You can travel light
You can go anywhere, anytime. You don’t have consider child friendly locations, fuss over kids packing or think about school holidays or homework. Just pack your bags and off you go! That’s surely one solid reason why not having a child is good actually.
14. You won’t feel the urge to be violent
Anyone with children know that they can suck the living lights out of you because babies are awful, they are pesky. Without kids as a catalyst, you will never have the urge to imagine that if the kids were standing in a line and you hit one of them, the others would go down like a domino. Basically, even if you are a violent person, you won’t have people to abuse at your place.
15. Sex – anywhere and anytime
No crying baby to ruin your orgasm. Parents, when was the last time you had a sexy time uninterrupted? Now, are you still thinking is it normal to not want a child?
Remember, with children comes big responsibility and if it’s not your cup of tea, accept it and capitalise on the many benefits of not having a child to find your true calling in life.
Disclaimer: This is not to provoke the parents who are doing an excellent job in raising mentally healthy children. Having children or going childfree is entirely a couples’ personal decision.