We decided to have a baby after a decade into our marriage, out of choice, something most people don’t understand, especially the extended family. An uncle once asked me, “Still no issues?” to which I had replied, “I got plenty, I promise you!” I wonder who came up with the idea of calling kids ‘issues’. I mean she (I am assuming she) must be a genius of some kind and finely tuned psychologically into a parent’s mind. So, the extended family perhaps wondered about our decision of no kids in the following ways:
- Is she infertile or is it the husband?
- The couple seems reasonably compatible in public but who knows the inside story.
- It must be that overbearing woman that does not want kids; the boy seems so sweet.
- Maybe the husband on account of his profession had kids elsewhere (he’s a marine engineer that many know as shippy guy).
However, after 5 years into the marriage, no one cared about us not having kids. The topic became outdated and boring and everyone moved on to the next couple in the family.
Related reading: NoBabyLand: Why we chose to be childfree
So, when I did get pregnant finally – everyone was shocked. I was always aware that having a baby would transform our lives. We were happy-go-lucky, loved to travel, watch live comedy shows and movies and now this little fellow would surely create havoc in our perfect life. I knew all of that, but knowing things theoretically and living the life is another story.
So while the miracle of birth, holding the tiny person for the first time, the first word and the precious giggles are all awe inspiring, let me highlight how all of this will change the language in your marriage.
Full change ahead
So this is how things changed after the baby:
- When he asked me (wink*wink), how and what I would like to do on the weekend night …the answer invariably would be to sleep for 6 hours straight without disturbance (orgasmic).
- The rare day that I did decide to oblige the husband I would mention in the sexiest possible way that I didn’t wax my legs, but did take a shower and don’t smell of baby powder, baby vomit or baby poo. Interested?
- Date nights earlier comprised of a sexy dress, wine and clubbing from 9 pm till the morning; date night after the baby meant pajamas, the couch, the TV, maybe a glass of wine and crashing at 9 pm.
- Gourmet meals earlier comprised fresh herbs, fancy cheese and wine combinations and usage of multiple recipe books. They transformed into a combination of bread, jam, peanut butter and cheese slices and as an added bonus Gerber’s banana and mixed berry pudding.
- The most important battery operated gadget became the breast pump of course.
Apart from all of the above, my husband and I, after the baby, functioned like roommates mostly, as we had this beautiful and tiny chaperone between us! Fortunately, my husband didn’t hesitate to help or worry about his testosterone levels while assisting in so-called mommy duties (diaper changes, putting baby to bed, baby massages and giving the baby a burp after a feed). And so, as the family grew, so did the love.