Struggles and Scars

My brother and I grew apart after he got married

Sometimes it's true that marriage changes relationships with your own family, as this troubled brother admits
sid and fawad in kapoor and sons

Enter the wife, exit the rest of the family?

They say daughters are daughters all their life but sons are sons till they have a wife. This could be extended to even the relationship between brothers. Two brothers usually stay as buddies, help each other, quarrel yet show care and affection, but all this lasts only while they are bachelors. As soon as the wife enters, all equations change and in many cases not for the better.

My brother and I never had any differences in our younger days. We weren’t best buddies, but we were not rivals either. Due to the age difference of 5 years, we rarely had any common friends or interests. We knew however, that we would stand by each other when needed. As we grew older, we grew further apart, but we never had any animosity.

At 22, when I was barely 17, my brother got married. Soon after his marriage I went abroad for higher studies for the next 4 years. After I came back, things started changing.

Related reading: My wife had a magic trick which helped her win over her sister-in-law

Priorities change

It is obvious that his priorities changed. As a caring husband and a father of two lovely girls, my brother fulfils his responsibilities more than one can imagine. Contrarily, just because his priorities changed does not mean that mine are the same as his. As the unmarried brother out of the two, I was still living with my parents. There were times when my mother got unwell and needed to be hospitalised. It was always I who stayed at the hospital overnight with her, while my brother stayed home with his wife. I felt that I had a disadvantage because I was not married.

SAD MAN
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When you have a wife and kids, they certainly do become your priority. However, it should not be at the cost of your other relationships.

When you have a wife and kids, they certainly do become your priority. However, it should not at the cost of your other relationships.

His mother-in-law meddles too much

It does not hurt to be in good terms with the mother of the girl of your dreams. But sometimes she creates a rift between two brothers. In my brother’s case, his mother-in-law was in charge of everything that was happening at his place. Right from the selection of his clothes to their housemaid, to the food they were eating and also the time at which they were supposed to have babies. How could she then keep away from the ancestral property that belonged to both my brother and me? She wanted everything for her daughter and conveniently forgot that half of everything that belonged to the family was mine. This wicked lady meddled in everything and brainwashed him to believe that it was fine to snatch away what was rightfully mine. Sadly, he never stopped her from interfering and no wonder she grew bolder by the day.

My sister-in-law created trouble

The ladies of the house made the environment so poisonous that we, who were once buddies, started hating each other. My sister-in-law made sure that I was thrown out of the family business and what’s more she even made sure I left the city. When our family business was not doing well, she told my brother to get her car at the cost of my salary. As I grew older, my needs grew. I worked hard in the expectation of getting my share from the business, but because my brother was married, it was taken for granted that his needs were more than mine and so the money that belonged to me, was also given to them. It was as though marriage was my brother’s licence to mug me in my own house.

struggles n scars native

Today after 7 years of this rivalry, I am in Bangalore while he is in Pune. We rarely talk. If we do, then we always fight. How can grown, adult men not take correct calls, regardless of whom they marry? Surely they have brains and upbringing that tell them right from wrong. In my relationship with my brother, I couldn’t help but wonder, was it the entry of my sister-in-law or my brother himself that tore our relationship apart?

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3 Comments

  1. This looks like only one sided version of the events.

    Why your parents didnt interfere when you were thrown away from the family business. Why did you succumb without putting a fight. Ultimately there is karma and one will reap whatever he has sowed.

  2. Ummm. It is a much common type of story and that is why you should be much careful in way to choose a spouse? But I think that spouse is much less reponsible. One should be in responsibility to handle his/her parents.

  3. In this case I feel the guy was not sensible at all. He ruined his relations with his family members. He should not have allowed his mother-in-law to interfere so much in their private life.

    I don’t understand how can a guy just neglect his mom and other family members and is still happy with his own life? Doesn’t that guilt kill him?

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