Kodi Mungaleke Bwanji Kuganizira Munthu? Katswiri Akuwonetsa Njira 11

Kodi mungaleke bwanji kuganiza za munthu, ngakhale simukufuna? Makamaka pamene simukufuna! Chabwino, nthawi zina, ndi zabwino kwa inu kuchotsa anthu pamutu panu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati musiya kuganiza za munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani kapena kusiya kuganiza za munthu amene sakufuna nanu, mukudzichitira zabwino eti?

Tonse takhala tiri kumeneko. Munthu ameneyo tinam’konda kwambiri, amene sitingathe kuletsa ubongo wathu ngakhale titayesetsa bwanji kuusefa. Ndipo nthawi zina, ndi munthu amene sabwezera, munthu amene sitingakhale naye, kapena choipitsitsa, munthu amene wawononga mitima yathu.

Inde, n’zosavuta kunena kuti, kusiya kuganiza za munthu amene wakulakwirani. Ndiwe woyenera kukondedwa kwambiri ndi chikondi ndipo mumayenera munthu wina wodabwitsa ngati inu. Tsoka ilo, mtima ndi wonyenga komanso wosamvera ndipo sungagonje mosavuta. Mumadziona kuti mukuziganizira monyadira, n’kumadabwa ngati mudzatha kusiya.

Ndiye mungaleke bwanji kuganiza za munthu? Tinafunsa katswiri wazamisala Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), woyambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe amagwira ntchito pa upangiri wa maanja ndi chithandizo cha mabanja, kuti amve zambiri zamomwe mungachotsere anthu osowawa m'maganizo mwanu.

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Devaleena akufotokoza kuti, “Nthaŵi zambiri pamakhala zinthu ziŵiri zimene zimaloŵetsedwamo pamene sungathe kuleka kulingalira za munthu wina—mwina kumadedwa kwambiri kapena kuipidwa mtima kwambiri, kapena mukumukonda kwambiri kapena kumukwiyitsa kotero kuti pamakhala mbali ya kutengeka maganizo kapena chikondi chopambanitsa.

Koma zimakhala zathanzi kapena zosayenera ngati simusiya kuganizira za munthu amene mukumusowa kapena munthu amene mumamukonda. "Ndi chikhalidwe cha umunthu kufuna kulumikizana ndi anthu, komanso kulumikizana kwambiri ndi anthu ochepa kapena munthu m'modzi wapadera," akutero Devaleena, ndikuwonjezera kuti, "Mutha kukhalanso mukusankha momwe mumamvera kapena mukukayikira ngati angakane kapena kubwezera malingaliro anu komanso pamlingo wotani."

“Chifukwa china chingakhale nkhani zosathetsedwa kapena a ubale wakale kuti simungathane nazo, zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala wotanganidwa. Kapena mungakhale mukuwunika komwe ubale wanu ukuyimira kuti muganizire zomwe amakuganizirani komanso momwe mumamvera.

“Chinthu chinanso chimene chimachititsa kuti musasiye kuganiza za munthu amene anakukhumudwitsani ndi ngati sanakuchitireni zabwino. Komabe, potsirizira pake, kugaŵira nthaŵi yochuluka kwa munthu mmodzi si kwabwino, iye akuchenjeza motero.

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Mmene mungasiyire kuganiza za munthu kumafuna kulanga maganizo anu. Koma zikukhudzanso kudzidodometsa, kuphunzira kudzikonda komanso kukhala ndi moyo wolemera komanso wodzaza kwambiri moti sufunikanso kuyesa kusiya kuganiza za munthu amene wakusowa. Nawa malangizo anzeru okuthandizani kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kuganiza za munthu.

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1. Muziganizira kwambiri zolinga zanu

"Ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe kuika maganizo pa zolinga zanu kumatanthauza," Devaleena akuti, "Tikudziwa zolinga zomwe timadziyika tokha, zinthu zomwe timafuna kuti tikwaniritse. Koma timalimbana ndi izi chifukwa sitidziwa zomwe zimatilimbikitsa. Timawona zolinga za anthu ena, mwinamwake timawona zolinga za munthu yemwe sitingathe kumuganizira, ndipo sitisintha zolinga zathu.

“Kudziikira zolinga zanu osati mwachilungamo zolinga ziwiri ndicholinga chokhazikitsa zinthu zing'onozing'ono kuti mukwaniritse cholinga chachikulu. Munthu ayenera kukhala ndi ndondomeko yotsatila bwino. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muli ndi cholinga chofuna kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, simungafike kulikonse ngati simukudziwa momwe mungakwaniritsire. Muyenera kukhala ndi zenizeni m'malo mwake.

"Komanso, sungani zolinga zanu monga ndandanda yoyenera. Onani kutalika komwe mukuzikwaniritsa. Muyeneranso kuyang'ana malo omwe mumakhala ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ndizothandiza kuti muganizire zolinga zanu." Mukangoganizira za inu nokha, zolinga zanu, mumayamba kudziwona nokha kunja kwa kutengeka kwanu komanso kulephera kwanu kusiya kuganiza za munthu yemwe ali. osafuna chibwenzi, kapena osati mwa inu. Umayamba kudziona wekha ngati wathunthu pang'ono.

2. Phunzirani kapena kulitsa zokonda zatsopano

Mukathera nthawi yanu yonse mukuganizira za munthu wina, mumayiwala kuchita zinthu zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Malo anu onse amalingaliro amatengedwa ndi malingaliro a aliyense yemwe simungaleke kumuganizira.

"Nthawi zambiri, sitidziwanso zomwe timakonda kuchita. Timamaliza kuganiza kuti tilibe luso lapadera. Njira yosavuta ndiyo kusintha zomwe mumakonda kale kukhala zosangalatsa. Ngakhale zinthu zomwe mudasangalala nazo mukadali mwana zitha kukhala zosangalatsa pamoyo wanu wachikulire. Yesani zinthu zingapo ndikuzindikira komwe mumapitilira. Mutha kutenganso mayeso a psychometric omwe amawunikira chidwi chanu. "

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"Ndinkakonda zojambulajambula ndi zojambulajambula ndili mwana. Ndinali kuyesera kuchoka mu ubale woipa, ndipo ndinkangokhalira kudabwa momwe ndingasiyire kuganiza za munthu wina. Kenaka, ndinapeza mabuku akuluakulu opaka utoto ndipo ndinalowa nawo gulu la zojambulajambula. Zinali zodabwitsa kuti zinabweretsa chisangalalo chochuluka, ndipo zinandithandiza kuti ndisamaganizire zinthu, "akutero Abbi.

Pezani malo pazinthu zomwe mumakonda kuchita, kaya ndi zaluso, kukwera mapiri kapena kalabu yamabuku. Mukumana ndi anthu atsopano, phunzirani zatsopano ndikuyamba kuwona moyo wanu ukusintha, zonse chifukwa mudatenga gawo loyambalo.

3. Kulitsani kuyamikira chikondi chomwe muli nacho kale - Banja, abwenzi, ndi zina zotero

"Ambiri aife tili ndi njira yothandizira koma timakonda kuitenga mopepuka - sitimawona okondedwa athu ngati mphatso zapadera kwa ife tokha. Nthawi zina, pamene sungasiye kuganizira za munthu amene umamukonda kwambiri komanso yemwe salinso m'moyo wanu, mumakonda kuiwala za omwe akugwira kale ndi chikondi," akutero Devaleena.

Amalimbikitsa kukhazikitsa zolinga za tsiku ndi tsiku za momwe mungayamikire tsiku lililonse komanso munthu aliyense m'moyo wanu. Iye anati: “Lipangitseni kukhala ngati pemphero la m’maŵa losonyeza kuyamikira. Siziyenera kukhala pemphero lenileni, mutha kungotumiza chikondi ndi chiyamiko m'mawu anuanu.

Njira ina yosonyezera kuyamikira ndiyo mwa kusamala za ubale wathu. "Nthawi zambiri timasowa chidwi pa maubwenzi athu oyambirira ndiyeno amasiya kudzimva kuti ndife apadera." Izi zikhoza kukhala makolo okalamba, ana, achibale awo ndi mabwenzi. Angakhalenso anthu omwe ankatanthauza chinachake kwa inu panthawi ina koma amatanthauza zochepa tsopano, osati chifukwa cha kusintha kwa mtima koma kusowa chisamaliro, "akutero Devaleena.
Amalimbikitsanso kusunga nyuzipepala yoyamikira - kulemba zinthu zingapo tsiku lililonse zomwe mumayamikira, zinthu zazing'ono ndi maubwenzi akuluakulu omwe amawonjezera chikondi ndi kuwala ndi chisangalalo ku moyo wanu.

4. Khalani ndi chidwi ndi anthu amdera lanu

Chifukwa chiyani ntchito zapagulu ndizofunikira pamene mukudabwa momwe mungasiyire kuganiza za munthu wina? Devaleena akupereka chitsanzo cha katswiri wa zamaganizo Alfred Adler, yemwe adanena kuti malingaliro amphamvu a anthu ammudzi ndi kutumikira anthu ammudzi kumabweretsa chisangalalo.
Ndikofunikira, akutero, kuyang'ana ntchito zapagulu osati ngati njira yodzifunira, komanso ngati njira yopezera chisangalalo.

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"Njira yosavuta yochitira izi ndikungoganiza za chinthu popanda phindu kapena phindu labizinesi kapena kupindula." Anthu amatha kukhala ndi zolepheretsa kufikira madera akuluakulu poyamba. Pankhaniyi, mutha kungoyang'ana omwe ali pachiwopsezo kapena omwe sadzimva kuti ali ndi mphamvu zokwanira okha.

Yang'ananinso mapulogalamu a pa intaneti, kapena yang'anani zodzipereka ku mabungwe omwe siaboma perekani zinthu zapakhomo zomwe mudagula mopanda nzeru Konzekerani mwachikondi ndi chifundo, menyanani ndi zomwe mumakhulupirira, pitani ku zochitika zapafupi kapena dziperekani kumisasa yopereka chithandizo.

"Chofunika kwambiri ndikupitilira kupitilira muyeso komanso kutengeka kwanu. Kuyanjana kwambiri kumachitika pazochitika zapagulu ndipo mumadziwana ndi anthu. Mumadziona kuti ndinu wofunika komanso kuti ndinu wofunika kwambiri kwa anthu. Mumaganizirabe za anthu ena koma mukuwongoka. kukonda kuledzera za munthu m'modzi yemwe muyenera kuti mutuluke m'dongosolo lanu," akuwonjezera.

5. Landirani kukhala panokha ndi kudzidziwa bwino

“Ndinakhala pachibwenzi kwa zaka 7. Pamene chinali kutha, sindinkadziŵa kuti ndingaleke bwanji kuganizira za munthu amene ndakhala naye kwa nthaŵi yaitali.” Sindinkadziŵa n’komwe kuti ndinali ndani popanda chibwenzi, popanda munthu wina ameneyu,” akutero Marcy.

Marcy adayamba ndikubwerera kusinkhasinkha, kungochotsa mutu wake. Kenako anapita yekhayekha, zomwe anali asanachitepo kuyambira ali pachibwenzi. Anapeza nyumba yakeyake ndipo anatengera mwana wa mphaka. Iye anati: “Ndinafunika kuti ndidziŵenso bwino, mpaka ndinayambanso kudzikonda.” Kuti ndichite zimenezi, ndinafunika kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza.

"Kukumbatira kukhala pawekha kumamveka ngati lingaliro labwino kwambiri koma kumatanthauza kudziwa kukhutira ndi kukhala wekha osasungulumwa. Awa ndi malo abwino komwe mungayang'ane malingaliro anu ndikukhala omasuka pakhungu lanu kuti mufufuze zamkati mwanu. Mumadzidziwa bwino ndikukhala ndi njira ya moyo wanu. Kenako mumangoyamba kukonza zomwe zikuyenera kukonzedwa; kudzikonda wekha ndikudziwonetsera nokha, osati ena okha, "akutero Devaleena.

6. Khalani ndi nthawi yabwino yopuma mpweya

Nthawi zonse ndimasunga kuti palibe chomwe chili ngati kuyika malingaliro anu osakhazikika patebulo ndikuwachotsa. Tikamabisa momwe timamvera, zinthu zimachulukanso ndikuyamba kuwonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana zoyipa. (Mwachitsanzo, ndimangokhalira kudya malingaliro anga m'malo molimbana nawo).

Mpweya wabwino, nthawi yabwino yayitali, yolira yonyansa ndi zina zotero zimabwera ngati mpumulo pamene mukuyesera kuti mudziwe momwe mungasiye kuganiza za munthu. Pitani kwa mnzanu wapamtima, amayi anu, chiweto chanu kapena aliyense amene angakupezeni ndipo adzakumverani mwachifundo komanso popanda chiweruzo (chambiri). Auzeni kuti mukufunika nthawi yocheza nawo - uku ndi ulemu komanso kusiyana kwake venting vs kutaya mtima.

Osabwerera mmbuyo apa. Ziribe kanthu momwe lingaliro likuwoneka lopusa kapena lopanda nzeru, ndikofunikira kutulutsa zonse m'malo mozilola kuti zizikulirakulira muubongo wanu mukafuna kusiya kuganiza za wina mwachikondi. Kodi mukuganiza zowalembera mawu ogwetsa misozi? Nenani izo. Kodi mukufuna kusintha dzina lanu ndikusamukira pachilumba ndikukhala ndi coconut? Zisiyeni ziuluke. Zinthu zikafika, ndizodabwitsa momwe zimakhalira zosavuta kuzigwira. Pezani ndi womvera wachangu, ndi kuyamba.

7. Yesani kulankhula ndi mlangizi

Ndife olimbikitsa kwambiri ofikira ndikupempha thandizo pakufunika. Momwe mungalekere kuganiza za munthu wina akhoza kukhala cholemetsa pa thanzi lanu la maganizo, kaya ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kapena mukuyesa kusiya kuganizira za munthu amene alibe chidwi ndi inu. Thandizo laumwini ndilodabwitsa, ndithudi, koma pakhoza kukhala nthawi yomwe njira yowonjezera yowonjezera ikufunika.

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Yesani kulankhula ndi phungu ngati mukuona kuti mukulemetsedwa ndi zoyesayesa zanu zosiya kulingalira za munthu amene mumamkonda kwambiri. Wothandizira kapena mlangizi adzakhala ngati dzanja lotsogolera kuti akuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino momwe mukumvera komanso kupeza chifukwa chomwe mumaganizira nthawi zonse za munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani.

Kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri nthawi zina kumabwera ndi kusalidwa kwamtundu uliwonse, makamaka ngati zatha chinthu chowoneka ngati chosavuta monga momwe mungasiye kuganizira za munthu wina. Kumbukirani kuti ngakhale atakhala 'munthu' yemwe mumamukonda ndipo sangathe kuchoka m'maganizo mwanu, malingalirowa ndi omveka ndipo muli ndi ufulu wopempha thandizo pamene mukuzikonza. Ndipo, Bonobology gulu la alangizi odziwa zambiris ndi kungodina pang'ono, ngati mungawafune.

8. Pewani kuwatsata pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti

Inde, tikudziwa. Stalking exes and crushes on social media ndi zosangalatsa zoletsedwa zomwe nthawi zambiri sitingachite popanda. Koma kodi tingakulimbikitseni kuti ngati mwangotsala pang'ono kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kuganiza za munthu wina, musakhale kutali ndi malo awo ochezera a pa Intaneti momwe mungathere? Mukudziwa, chifukwa chanzeru zanu, popeza tikudziwa momwe malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amakhudzira maubwenzi.

Jo anati: “Simungasiye kuganiza za munthu amene akukukondani ngati mumangomuyang’ana pakompyuta kwa maola ambiri patsiku. Ndinkangofuna kupeza munthu amene ndinkachita naye chibwenzi ndipo nthawi iliyonse imene ndikamatsegula pa Intaneti ankapezeka kuti ali pachibwenzi.

Kudzipatula pazama TV ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri kuchita ngati ndinu munthu yemwe amathera nthawi yambiri pa intaneti pantchito kapena ayi. Koma pamene ubongo wanu ukuyesera kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kuganiza za munthu wina, zikumbutso zowoneka nthawi zonse za iwo sizomwe mukufunikira. Ayi, simuyenera kudziwa ngati adayang'ana kumalo odyera omwe mumakonda kapena akukonzekera tchuthi. Dzipatseni nthawi yopuma.

9. Musadzimenye nokha mukaganizira za iwo

Mvetserani, zomverera zidzabwera ndi kupita. Ndi mtundu wa zomwe iwo amachita. Zomverera zina zimatengera malo ochulukirapo mwa inu komanso kwa nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe mungafune, ngakhale mukamavutikira kudzimasula nokha. Kusiya kuganiza za munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri ndi nkhondo yosalekeza ndi malingaliro anu, koma kumva momwe mukumvera ndi imodzi mwa njira zokuthandizani. kumverera bwino mukatha kutha, kapena kuchira ku chikondi chosayenerera.

Mwina kusiya kuvutika. Musaganize kuti ndinu ofooka kapena opusa chifukwa chokhala ndi malingaliro awa, chifukwa chofuna munthu yemwe simungakhale nawo, kapena munthu amene sakubwezera momwe mukumvera. Tonse takhalapo, ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazochitika zaumunthu zomwe mungakumane nazo. Palibe chabwino kapena chokonzekera pamalingaliro awa.

Lolani zomverera zibwere. Aloleni iwo aziyenda pa inu, ziribe kanthu momwe zikuwonekera zachilendo kapena zopusa. Mukamayesetsa kwambiri kulimbana nawo, zimatengera nthawi yayitali kuti muwalole kupita. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mumachita chilichonse chomwe chingakuchitikireni, koma musadzipweteke ndikuyesa kutsekereza malingalirowo, ndikuyembekeza kuti apita mwanjira imeneyo.

Zonse nzabwino chisoni ubale umene watha kapena ngakhale chimodzi chomwe sichinawonekere. Ndibwino kukhala ndi malingaliro osakanikirana a magawo ofanana a chikondi ndi mkwiyo pa munthu yemweyo. Lolani malingaliro abwere, ndipo pamapeto pake, pakapita nthawi, adutsa.

10. Dziwonongeni nokha

Kodi tatchula mmene timakondera ife tokha? Tili ndi? Chabwino, tilowanso momwemo kuti musaiwale kuchuluka kwa momwe mukuyenera kukondedwa! Pamene mukudabwa kuti mungasiye bwanji kuganizira za munthu wina, mumangodzinyalanyaza ndikuyiwala kuti chikondi chabwino kwambiri ndikukhala nokha ndikudzipatsa chidwi chosatha.

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Pamene mukuvutika kuti musiye kuganiza za munthu wina, n’zosavuta kuyamba kudziona kuti ndinu amene anasiyidwa kapena amene sanakukondeni. Musaiwale kuti ndinu opambana mwa inu nokha! Kuti ndinu munthu amene ali ndi zolinga ndi maloto ndi munthu woyenerera zinthu zodabwitsa, kaya muli ndi chibwenzi kapena ayi.

Dzitengereni nokha paulendo wogula. Gulani wotchiyo kapena thumba kapena ndolo zomwe mwakhala mukuyang'ana uku mukudabwa ngati mungathe kuzichotsa. Mukhoza mwamtheradi! Sungani sabata ya spa yanu ndi abwenzi anu apamtima ndikulowa m'magawo otikita minofu. Dziphikireni chakudya chamagulu atatu kapena kuyitanitsa mumsewu wothira mchere wa caramel womwe ndi wa 'nthawi zapadera' zokha. Mwinamwake mwakhalapo kupatsa kwambiri muubwenzi, ndipo tsopano ndi nthawi yoti mudzipereke.

11. Yesani ndi kuwalingalira ngati mabwenzi

Uhh, kunena chiyani?! Sitikufuna kukhala paubwenzi ndi iwo, tikuyesera kuti tileke kuwaganizira! Inde, koma timvereni. Tikukamba za kusintha nkhani apa. Mpaka pano, mukuyesera kuti musiye kuganiza za munthu amene mumamukonda. M'malo momangowawonetsa ngati okondedwa, aganizireni ngati munthu yemwe mungakhale naye paubwenzi pamlingo wa platonic.

Musaganize kuti mudzakhala bwino abwenzi ndi ex yemwe mumamukondabe nthawi yomweyo. Timadana ndi kudetsa chiyembekezo chanu koma mwina simungakhale nawo paubwenzi nkomwe. Iyi ndi njira yowongolera pang'onopang'ono malingaliro anu kuti asawawone ngati omwe angakhale okondana nawo ndikuwayika m'gulu la anthu omwe mumawadziwa komanso kuwakonda koma omwe si 'anu okha'.

M'malo mongowaganizira mukamayatsa makandulo kwa anthu awiri pagombe lokongola, yesani kuwaganizira m'magulu omwe muli gulu lomwe mumapita kukamwa zakumwa kapena khofi. Pano, iwo ndi amodzi mwa anthu ambiri omwe mumacheza nawo komanso kuwakonda. Mutha kuwaphonya akakhala kulibe koma muli ndi anthu oti mudzaze mpata wachikondi.

Kuzindikira momwe mungasiyire kuganiza za munthu, makamaka munthu amene mumamudziwa kwa nthawi yayitali kapena kukhala naye kwakanthawi, ndizovuta. Heck, ndizovuta kutero lekani kuphwanya munthu mudakumana sabata yapitayo ndipo simungathe kuchoka pamutu mwanu. Palibe njira imodzi yochitira izo, kupatula kuika ntchito yabwino, yachikale ndi ntchito yamaganizo.

Chifukwa chake, dzipatseni nthawi yangayekha, tulukani kukachitira zabwino dera lanu, kulumikizananso ndi abwenzi ndi abale omwe amakukondani kale ndikudzikumbutsa kuti ndinu woyenera kukondedwa ndi inu nokha ndi ena. Inu muli nacho ichi.

Ibibazo

15 Zizindikiro Zomveka Kuphwanya Kwanu Sikukukondani

Kodi Ndingachoke Bwanji Kuchokera Kuchikondi Cha Mbali Imodzi? Katswiri Wathu Akukuuzani

Momwe Mungalekere Kusamalira Winawake Ndi Kukhala Osangalala

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.