Momwe Mungalekere Kukhala Odzidalira Mu Ubale - Katswiri Akufotokoza

Kudalirana kumatha kukhala kupha ubale, ndipo mwina ndi imodzi mwa njira zobisika komanso zobisika zomwe ubale umakhala woyipa komanso/kapena pamapeto pake. Kotero, mungaleke bwanji kukhala odalira mwachitsanzo, kudalira kwambiri mnzanu muubwenzi, mpaka pamene m'modzi kapena nonse mulibe ufulu wodzilamulira kapena payekha?

Kudalirana ndi njira yovuta kwambiri yoyendera chifukwa kupatsa ndi kudzipereka nthawi zambiri kumawoneka ngati zigawo zofunika za chikondi. Koma ngakhale kuli bwino kukhala woganizirana ndi kusamala mnzanu, kuchita mopambanitsa kungakhale koopsa chifukwa kungachititse kuti inuyo kapena mnzanuyo akhale ndi makhalidwe oipa.

Maubwenzi odalira pawokha angawoneke ngati ndi odabwitsa, okwatirana amawoneka kuti nthawi zonse amayang'anana wina ndi mnzake ndikutsamira wina ndi mnzake zivute zitani. Koma kodi chimachitika n’chiyani ngati mnzawoyo wangokhala ngati njira yongokhalira kupha munthu? Pamene m'modzi kapena nonse simungathe kupanga zisankho paokha? Pamene moyo wanu umangozungulirana?

Kuti tiwunikire zambiri za momwe tingalekere kukhala odalira, tinapempha malangizo kuchokera kwa mphunzitsi wamalingaliro abwino komanso oganiza bwino. Pooja Priyamvada (wotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe amagwira ntchito pa uphungu wa zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, kupatukana, kupatukana, chisoni ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa. Werengani kuti mudziwe zaukadaulo wake.

Kodi Kukhala Wodzidalira Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

“Kudalirana paubwenzi ndi pamene munthu amalola mnzawo kukhala ndi makhalidwe odziwononga monga kumwerekera kapena kusokoneza maganizo mwa kubisa mavuto ake kapena kuwateteza ku zotsatirapo zake. Pooja.

Choncho, maubwenzi odalirana amalimbikitsa kudalirana kwambiri m'malo mothandiza onse awiri kukhala athanzi omwe amabweretsa mphamvu zapadera paubwenzi wawo. Zitha kuwonekeranso ngati m'modzi akukhala wosamalira wina wake ndipo mnzakeyo amapezerapo mwayi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti asakhale ndi thanzi labwino. mphamvu zaubwenzi.

Nthawi zambiri zimachitika ngati m’modzi akudwala matenda aakulu, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena vuto lina lililonse limene angafunikire kusamalidwa nthawi zonse. Koma m’malo moyesetsa kukhala odzidalira ngakhale m’njira zing’onozing’ono, amayamba kudalira kwambiri mnzawoyo. Kenako, wosamalira mnzakeyo angayambe kudziona ngati wofera chikhulupiriro, n’kudzimana kuti asamalire mnzakeyo.

Maubwenzi oterowo ndi oopsa kwambiri kwa onse awiri. Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti, mutha kubwerera m'mbuyo, kuvomereza zomwe zikuchitika, ndiyeno kuchitapo kanthu kuti mukonze. Ndiye mungaleke bwanji kukhala wodalira pa ubale? Kaya mukuchoka a mgwirizano wodalira kapena mukufuna kukhalabe ndikugwira ntchito pazinthu, takuthandizani.

Momwe Mungalekere Kukhala Odzidalira - Malinga ndi Akatswiri

Kodi mungasiye bwanji kukhala odalira? Kodi mumadzikumba bwanji mu dzenje la ubale lomwe mwina munakumba m'dzina la chikondi? Takupatsirani maupangiri 9 a akatswiri oti muwaganizire ndikuchitapo kanthu mukamadzifunsa kuti, "Ndingasiya bwanji kukhala odalira?"

1. Ikani ndalama podzisamalira / kudzikonda

"Chiwonongeko chachikulu choyamba chomwe kudalira kumachita ndi kudzikonda kwathu." Choncho, pamene tikuchira, ndikofunikira kuti tidzisamalire komanso kudzisamalira. kudzikonda zomwe pamapeto pake zimabweretsa kudzilemekeza komanso kudzidalira," akutero Pooja.

Ngati nthawi zambiri kapena moyo wanu wonse udayikidwa mwa mnzanu komanso moyo wawo wabwino, pali mwayi waukulu kuti mukunyalanyaza thanzi lanu lakuthupi komanso lamalingaliro. Njira yosavuta yodzimva ngati mulibe phindu kunja kwa ubale wanu ndikuyang'ana pagalasi ndikuwona munthu wotopa, wogonjetsedwa nthawi zonse.

Pezani nthawi yanu. Werengani buku, yendani ulendo wautali, lowani nawo kalasi ya aerobics, dzisungireni nokha kutikita minofu yapamwamba. Pita kocheza ndi abwenzi, kapena dzitengere nokha pa tsiku. Dzigulireni chovala chatsopano, valani milomo yomwe mumakonda, ndipo dzichitireni zabwino. Kumbukirani, simungakhale wabwino kwa ena ngati simuli abwino kwa inu nokha poyamba.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 Zakusokoneza Mopanda Ubwino Mu Ubale

Momwe mungalekere kukhala odalira ndi funso losokoneza komanso lalitali. Mudzafunika kuwononga nthawi yambiri ndi khama paulendowu, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mugwiritse ntchito mphamvu zanu komanso moyo wanu. Dzisamalireni nokha choyamba, ndiyeno mnzanuyo.

2. Limbikitsani dongosolo lanu lothandizira kunja kwa ubale wanu

"Ngakhale kuti ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu ndi wofunikira m'moyo wanu, ndikofunikira kuti musadzipatule chifukwa cha izi. Muyenera kusunga maubwenzi anu ena amoyo ndikupanga njira yothandizira yomwe mungathe kutembenukira pamene pali vuto mu ubale wanu wachikondi," akuchenjeza motero Pooja.

Chikondi chimawoneka ngati pachimake pa maubwenzi kotero kuti timanyalanyaza kufunikira kwa kulumikizana kwa platonic ndi mabanja. Ndizopanda thanzi komanso zopanda chilungamo kuyika zoyembekezera zanu zonse komanso katundu wamalingaliro pa munthu mmodzi mulimonse. Pali maubwenzi ambiri okondana komanso ofunikira kuti apangidwe kunja kwa maubwenzi apamtima, zomwe zimapangitsa moyo wolemera komanso wosiyanasiyana.

Ubale wodalirana umatipangitsa kuti tizikangamira komanso kudalira anzathu. Ndipo mosapeŵeka, timakhala oipidwa ndi okhumudwitsidwa pamene iwo sangakhoze kukwaniritsa ziyembekezo zathu zonse ndi zokhumba zathu. Chifukwa chake, chinthu chathanzi chomwe tingachite ndikukhala ndi chithandizo champhamvu ndi chachikondi kunja kwa maubwenzi athu achikondi.

Kumbukirani, kudalira kwambiri bwenzi kumakupangitsani kukhala pachiwopsezo. Ngati mukukhala ndi a mkazi wankhanza kapena mwamuna, kapena mnzanu wankhanza, kapena ngati mukuchoka paubwenzi wodalira pawokha, ndikofunikira kukhala ndi anthu omwe mungapiteko kuti akuthandizeni ndi kukuthandizani.

3. Khazikitsani malire abwino

"Malire abwino amalingaliro ndi ofunikira mu ubale uliwonse wabwino. Mumkhalidwe wodalirana, izi sizikhalapo. Ngakhale pakati pa okwatirana apamtima, payenera kukhala malire abwino kotero kuti palibe amene amamva kuti malo awo ndi kudziwika kwake zikuphwanyidwa ndi wina, "Pooja akufotokoza.

Malire a ubale wabwino kupanga maubwenzi abwino. Ndipo chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za ubale wodalirana ndi chakuti malire amasokonekera. Shelley anati: “Mnzangayo ankachira chifukwa chovulala kwambiri pamasewera, ndipo panadutsa miyezi yambiri.

Kodi mungasiye bwanji kukhala odalira? Dziwani malire anu ndi kukhazikitsa ena kwa mnzanuyo. Padzakhala zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kukhala kumbali yanu ya mpanda, ndipo iwo pawo. Izi sizikutanthauza, mwanjira ina iliyonse, kusowa chikondi kapena chisamaliro, m'malo mwake, ndikulimbikitsa ndi kuyesetsa kukulitsa ubale wabwino womwe umapindulira nonse.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubale Wathanzi Ndi Wopanda Thanzi Ndi Ubale Wachipongwe - Kusiyana Kwake Ndi Chiyani?

4. Dziwani zovuta zomwe mumadalirana

"Nthawi zambiri, kudalirana kumachokera ku kupwetekedwa mtima kwa ubwana kapena maubwenzi akale. Ngati wina amvetsetsa zoyambitsa izi, zimakhala zosavuta kuti asagwere mumayendedwe akale ndi misampha yofanana. Kudzera mu chithandizo ndi uphungu, nkhanizi zikhoza kuthetsedwa kuti zisasokoneze ubale wanu wamakono kapena wamtsogolo," akulangiza Pooja.

Kufunafuna chithandizo kungakhale gawo lalikulu la kuchira kwanu kuchokera ku codependency ndi mgwirizano wa trauma. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kukumana ndi zowawa zanu zam'mbuyomu ndi zovuta zilizonse zomwe mudazikwirira zomwe tsopano zikuwonetsa maubwenzi odzidalira m'moyo wanu wachikulire. Mwina munaonapo kusasangalala m’banja la makolo anu, kapena munadutsa m’maubwenzi opweteka m’moyo wanu.

Kuwona mozama ndikofunikira pano, koma pamapeto pake, kuyankhula ndi katswiri yemwe angamvetsere popanda kukondera kapena kuweruza kungathandize kwambiri. Ngakhale kukhala m'mbuyomu sikuthandiza, kukwirira popanda kuthana ndi zowawa zanu, mkwiyo, ndi malingaliro ena zimangokupangitsani kukhala pachiwopsezo cha maubwenzi odalirana komanso kulumikizana kwina koyipa pambuyo pake.

Funso loti 'ndisiya bwanji kukhala wodalira' ndizovuta kuthana nalo ngati simukudziwa chomwe chimayambitsa. Palibe chifukwa choyeretsa pamwamba ndikungoganiza kuti zonse nzabwino. Ngati mwasankha kufunafuna thandizo, Bonobology's gulu la akatswiri alangizi zangodinanso.

5. Chokani paubwenzi ngati pakufunika kutero

Kusiya chibwenzi sikophweka. Kusiya ubale wodalirana kumakhala kovuta kwambiri chifukwa khalidwe lake lalikulu ndiloti lapangitsa kuti mukhale odalira kwambiri mnzanuyo. Kuchokapo kapena kubwerera m'mbuyo m'maganizo kungakhale kochititsa mantha pamenepa, ndipo potero, ndikofunikira kwambiri.

“Ndikofunikira kuzindikira ndi kumvetsetsa kuti nthaŵi zina, ngakhale kuti m’modzi kapena onse aŵiri ayesayesa mowona mtima, ubwenzi suwoneka bwino. maubale oopsa, ndi bwino kuti onse adzipatula ndikupanga mtunda wotetezeka wakuthupi kapena wamalingaliro," akutero Pooja.

Kupatula sikutanthauza kupatukana, koma kutha kukhala nthawi yayifupi, yocheperako. Kutalikirana pang'ono kukhoza kubweretsa malingaliro ndi kukuthandizani kuzindikira kuchuluka kwa kudziyimira kwanu ndi kudzidalira komwe mwataya. Mutagwira ntchito nokha monga munthu payekha komanso ngati mnzanu, mutha kuganiziranso zopatsa mwayi wina pachibwenzi.

Kugonjetsa mantha anu olephera kudzisamalira ndi gawo lalikulu la momwe mungasiyire kukhala wodalira pa chiyanjano. Ndipo kumbukirani, ubale womwe umakupangitsani kuti mukhale wolimba mwina sungakhale womwe mukufuna kukhalamo, kutha kwa ubale ikhoza kukhala yankho.

6. Khalani odzikonda kukhala osadzikonda

Takambirana kale za kudzikonda, koma izi zikupita mozama. Kudzikonda nthawi zambiri si mawu omwe amayenda bwino ndi ubale wabwino. M'malo mwake, sichimatanthauzidwa ngati chiyamikiro kapena chikhumbo chabwino m'mbali iliyonse ya moyo. Koma ngati funso lodziwika bwino la moyo wanu ndi "Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kukhala wodalira?", ndi nthawi yoganizira zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu.

Tsopano, onse awiri akhoza kukhala odalirana muubwenzi, koma pamapeto pake, aliyense amene alibe dyera amakhala wosamalira, ndipo mnzakeyo nthawi zambiri ndi amene amafuna chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro nthawi zonse.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Makhalidwe 13 Amene Amasiyanitsa Chikondi Chodzikonda ndi Chikondi Chopanda Udyera

Kumbukirani, kukhala wodzipereka kotheratu kumapangitsa kuti mnzanuyo azidziwononga yekha. Kotero, khalani odzikonda pang'ono. Yambani kunena kuti 'ayi' kwa iwo nthawi zina. Yesetsani kudzilankhula nokha nthawi zonse mukayamba kudziimba mlandu kuti simukuwachitira mokwanira. Ganizirani za inu nokha ngati wosiyana ndi ubale wanu, monga munthu wathunthu, osati theka la ubale.

Izi zidzadzutsa malingaliro amtundu uliwonse mwa inu ndi mnzanuyo, yemwe angamve ngati anyalanyazidwa komanso kuchita mantha kuti akutayani. Monga bwenzi losamalira, mudzakhala odziimba mlandu kwambiri ndi kusasangalala posapereka moyo wanu wonse kuchisamaliro cha wokondedwa wanu. Ndicho chifukwa chachikulu chobwerera mmbuyo ndikukhala odzikonda pang'ono.

7. Yesetsani kulankhulana momveka bwino

Nkhani zoyankhulirana m'maubwenzi si zachilendo, ndipo kuthetsa ndikofunikira kuti chikondi ndi ulemu pakati pa awiriwo ukhalebe. Koma mukakhala paubwenzi wongodalira pawokha ndikuyesera kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kukhala odalira, kukwera ndikulankhula kumakhala kofunika.

Kumbukirani, kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana mu maubwenzi sikungonena momveka mmene mukumvera komanso pamene mukumvera. Imvani malingaliro anu mwanjira iliyonse, koma lingakhale lingaliro labwino kupanga zomwe mukufuna kunena, mwina kuzilemba. Mukakhala paubwenzi wodalirana, kukamba zakukhosi kwanu kumatanthauza kusiya kuganizira za mnzanuyo ndikudziganizira nokha.

Izi zitha kukhala zowopsa chifukwa mudazolowera kukhala wosamalira, yemwe amasunga malingaliro a mnzanu nthawi zonse. Mungathe kuopa kuti mnzanuyo sakulankhula, mkwiyo, mkwiyo, kapena nkhanza zina zamaganizo ngati mutayamba kuyankhulana.

Yambani ndi masitepe ang'onoang'ono. Fotokozani nthawi yomwe inu ndi mnzanuyo muli omasuka komanso okhoza kulankhula popanda zosokoneza. Musamachite mantha kapena kutengeka ndi mawu awo ndi kuwapempha kuti asakusokonezeni. Fotokozani zosowa zanu, ndipo tchulani zomwe sizikukwaniritsidwa, modekha koma mwamphamvu. Osayesera kusunthitsa mlandu, koma musalole kuti iwonso akukhumudwitseni. Imani mwamphamvu nokha.

8. Fotokozani zomwe mukuyembekezera pa ubale wanu

Apanso, izi zitha kuwoneka ngati chinthu chodziwikiratu kuchita mu ubale uliwonse. Koma tikukamba za maubwenzi odalira pano ndi momwe mungalekerere kukhala odalira, kotero zinthu zomwe zimawoneka zosavuta komanso zoonekeratu zimafunikira chisamaliro chapadera apa.

Zinali zotani ziyembekezo za ubale mphamvu yanu isanakhale yodalira? Munkafuna chiyani pa chibwenzi? Kodi mumayembekezera kuti chikondi, chisamaliro, ndi chikondi ziwonekere bwanji ndi mnzanuyo, ndipo adawoneka bwanji muubwenzi womwe mudali nawo m'maganizo?

Phoebe anati: “Nthawi zonse ndakhala woyang’anira mavuto, amene ndimalimba mtima pakagwa chimphepo n’kumasamalira anthu ena. "Ndikuganiza kuti ndinalowa m'mabwenzi anga onse achikondi, ndikumaganiza kuti udindo wanga udzakhala womwewo." Zinanditengera nthawi yaitali kuti ndizindikire kuti nanenso, ndinkafuna kusamalidwa, kuti wina azindilimbitsa, m'malo mochita ndekha.

Ndi lingaliro labwino kukhala ndi izi kukambirana musanakwatirane kapena musanalowe muubwenzi waukulu, koma malingaliro aumunthu nthawi zambiri sadulidwa ndikuuma. Ndife ozama mu maubwenzi tisanawatchule kuti, ndipo timakhala odalira tisanadziwe. Koma pamene mwazindikira kuti chinachake chalakwika, m’pofunika kuti mufotokoze momveka bwino kwa inuyo ndi mnzanu zimene mukufuna.

9. Limbikitsani kudzidalira kwa okondedwa anu ndi inu nokha

Pankhani zonse za 'awiri kukhala amodzi' ndi 'matupi awiri, moyo umodzi', ubale wabwino umakhala ndi anthu paokha paokha muzosokoneza kwambiri, mwapadera. Kudzikondwerera nokha komanso umunthu wanu ndi chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachitire nokha komanso mgwirizano wanu, makamaka muubwenzi wodalirana.

Mfundo yofunika kwambiri pa kudalirana ndi yakuti anthu okwatirana amagwera pansi pa udindo wa olera ndi wosamalira, mwachitsanzo, wopereka nthawi zonse ndi wopitirizabe kulandira. Mmodzi ali wokhazikika mu udindo wawo monga wofera chikhulupiriro, pamene winayo amadalira mphamvu za mnzawo ndi kupatsa chilengedwe. Ngakhalenso sangaleke wina kapena ubale.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Sindimamva Kukondedwa: Zifukwa Ndi Zoyenera Kuchita Pankhani Izo

Apa ndipamene muyenera kubwerera mmbuyo ndikupezanso mtundu wina wodzidalira. Yesani kupanga okondedwa anu kukhala ndi udindo ndikuyankha iwo eni ndi zochita zawo. Apangitseni kuti azichita zinthu okha - zinthu zomwe mukudziwa kuti angathe kuchita paokha - osati kuwathamangira.

Zingakhale zazing'ono monga kuwapangitsa kuti azidzipangira okha chakudya, kapena kuthandiza nawo ntchito zapakhomo. Kapena ingakhale ntchito yaikulu, yosonkhezera maganizo kwambiri kupepesa pamene alakwa, m’malo mokwiya. Izi zimawathandiza kuona kuti akhoza kudzisamalira okha komanso kuwakumbutsa kuti ndiwe woposa wowasamalira.

Kusiya ubale wodalirana si chinthu chophweka, ndipo kukhalabe m'modzi sikophweka konse. Ubwenzi wodalirana sizitanthauza kuti pali kusowa kwa chikondi kapena malingaliro abwino pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo. Komanso sizikutanthauza kuti wanu ubale wopanda thanzi sichingakonzedwe konse kapena sichikhalitsa.

Koma m’pofunika kuvomereza kudalirana muubwenzi ndi kuwononga kumene kungabweretse. Ubale sungayambe ngati wodalirana, koma ukhoza kukwera ngakhale m'maubwenzi abwino kwambiri ndi kuyambitsa ming'alu yomwe ikufunika kuchiritsidwa kuchokera muzu, m'malo molemba mapepala.

Sikuti ubale uliwonse wodalirana ukhoza kuchiritsidwa, komabe. Zikakhala ubale wapoizoni pomwe mnzanu amakuchititsani manyazi chifukwa chosakhalapo mokwanira kwa iwo, ndipo simungathe kudziyimira nokha, ndi nthawi yoti mulole kupita. Kumbukirani, palibe ubale womwe umayenera kukhala ndi mtendere wamumtima.

Ngati kuchiritsa kuli kotheka, padzakhala ntchito yambiri yochitira nonsenu. Kuvomereza matendawa muubwenzi wanu, kufunafuna thandizo, kutsegulira wokondedwa wanu - zonsezi zidzakhala zovuta. Khalani omveka bwino m'maganizo mwanu ngati ubale wanu ndi wofunika kuugwira ntchito ndikusunga, ndiye sankhani njira yanu moyenera. Zabwino zonse.

Ibibazo

Njira 9 Zodziyimira pawokha mu Ubwenzi Wachikondi

13 Njira Zokongola Zodzipangira Chibwenzi

Kupeza Wina Wapadera Pambuyo pa Ukwati Mu Ubwenzi

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

Gawani Ndemanga

Ndemanga zanu ndi zotani?

×

zothandiza Nenani Cholakwika Zina

kugonjera