Kodi Ukwati Wanu Ukukuchititsani Nkhawa? Zifukwa 5 Ndi Malangizo 6 Othandizira

Ukwati nthawi zambiri ukhoza kukhala kukwera kwa rollercoaster. Ndi kudzipereka kwa moyo wonse ndi kukwera ndi kutsika pafupipafupi chifukwa anthu awiri sangakhale ndi malingaliro, malingaliro, malingaliro, ndi ziweruzo zofanana. Chifukwa cha kusamvana, kusakhulupirirana, ndi kusamvana kumachitika pafupipafupi. Komabe, nthawi izi za mikangano kapena kusasangalatsa zikakhala zomwe zimatsogolera paubwenzi, zimatha kuyambitsa kukhumudwa komanso zovuta zamaganizidwe. 

Komabe, kuzindikira kuti “ukwati wanga ukundipangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa” sikophweka kwa anthu ambiri. Ngakhale munthu atazindikira kuti akukumana ndi mavuto amisala, kuvomereza kuti chifukwa chake chingakhale mkhalidwe wa ukwati wawo ndi kovuta kwambiri. Kuti tidziwe zambiri za akazi osasangalala ndi amuna osasangalala, tinalumikizana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Aakhansha Varghese (MSc Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa njira zosiyanasiyana zoperekera uphungu paubwenzi, kuyambira pachibwenzi ndi mavuto asanakwatirane mpaka kusudzulana, nkhanza, kulekana, ndi kusudzulana.

Iye anati: “M’pofunikadi kudziŵa kuti cikwati n’covuta, ndipo mwa iko kokha sikungakupangitseni kuvutika maganizo.” Zinthu zimene zingatengele mbali m’banja zingakhale zoyambitsa kuvutika maganizo, kumene kungakhale cifukwa ca mavuto kapena matenda.

Kodi Ukwati Wanu Ungakupangitseni Kupsinjika Maganizo?

Si zachilendo pamene wina anena kuti, “Ndili wopsinjika maganizo ndi wosungulumwa muukwati wanga” kapena “Mwamuna wanga amandipangitsa kukhala wopsinjika maganizo.” Komabe, chifukwa si zachilendo, sizikutanthauza kuti siziyenera kutengedwa mozama. Ndikofunikira kuti pamene wina agawana nafe mphindi ngati imeneyi ya chiwopsezo kapena tikupeza kuti tikulimbana ndi malingaliro oterowo, titchere khutu kwa iwo, kumvetsetsa komwe akuchokera, ndikuyesera kulimbikitsa munthuyo (kapena ifeyo) kuti tipeze chithandizo chofunikira.

Kafukufuku wina adafufuza zotsatira za mikangano ya m'banja pa kusintha kwa zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo ndi kufooka kwa ntchito pakati pa amuna ndi akazi okwatirana. Zinapezeka kuti mikangano ya m'banja imawononga thanzi la thupi. Aakhansha anati, "Kumva kupsinjika maganizo kapena kusungulumwa m'banja sikutanthauza kuti njira yanu ndi yomaliza kwa inu monga banja. Musaganize nthawi yomweyo momwe mungatulukire muukwati mukawona zovuta pang'ono, kupatula nkhanza muubwenzi . Mavuto ena monga kulankhulana ndi nkhani za ubwenzi angathetsedwe ndi chithandizo cha okwatirana ndi uphungu."

Komabe, ngati muli ndi nkhawa, ndikofunikira kuyang'ana kwambiri machiritso anu musanayambe kuchiritsa ubale womwe ukudwala. Ndipo ngati simukudziwa ngati simukusangalala kapena kupsinjika maganizo, nazi zizindikiro zofala za kuvutika maganizo m’banja zoti muzisamala:

• Kudziona kukhala opanda chiyembekezo ndiponso opanda thandizo
• Kukhumudwa
• Zero zolimbikitsa kuchita chilichonse 
• Nkhawa ndi kumva chisoni wamba KAPENA kumva dzanzi pa chilichonse
• Mavuto ogona monga kugona kwambiri kapena kusagona konse
• Kusokonezeka kwa kadyedwe monga kusowa chilakolako kapena kudya maganizo
• Kusinthasintha kwamalingaliro pafupipafupi
• Osatha kuyang'ana kapena kukhazikika pa chilichonse
• Kukhala ndi malingaliro ofuna kudzipha (chizindikirochi sichiyenera kutengedwa mopepuka pamtengo uliwonse)

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 13 Zotsimikizika Kuti Akuopa Kukutaya

7 Zizindikiro Kuti Banja Lanu Likukupangitsani Kukhumudwa

Ubale uliwonse umafuna ntchito yambiri, khama, ndi kumvetsetsa. Muyenera kuwonekera ndi kukhalapo wina ndi mzake. Pamene m’modzi kapena onse aŵiri akuona mopepuka mavuto awo a m’banja kapena mnzawoyo mwiniyo, apa mpamene mkhalidwe wa ukwati wopatulika umanyonyotsoka. Ngati simukudziwa chifukwa chake mumakhala okhumudwa kwambiri pa moyo wanu wa tsiku ndi tsiku, zikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha mavuto a ubale. Nazi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mukuvutika maganizo chifukwa cha banja lanu:

1. Mumaona kuti akumanidwa chikondi

Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhoza kukhala akukuberani zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Zitha kukhala ngati:

• Kusowa kukhudza 
• Kulandidwa ubwenzi 
• Kusowa maganizo
• Kusowa ndalama 
• Inu mukukhala njala ya chikondi

Zonsezi zimatha kukupangitsani kumva ngati akulandidwa chikondi chawo. Mumaona ngati ubale wanu wachikondi wasanduka wowawa ndipo mulibenso mtundu uliwonse wachifundo, chisoni, kapena chifundo mu ubale wanu. 

Aakhansha akufotokoza kuti, "Chimodzi mwazizindikiro zokhumudwitsa kuti ukwati wanu ukukupangitsani kukhala okhumudwa ndi pamene mukumva kuti akumanidwa chikondi chifukwa mnzanuyo akugwirabe ntchito ndikupondereza maganizo awo. Sakugawana nanu zakukhosi. Simungamve chikondi cha wina pokhapokha ngati ali omasuka ndi osatetezeka ndi inu. Ndicho chifukwa chake mukukumana ndi zowawa ndi kukhumudwa mu ubale wanu."

2. Mukungopulumuka 

Kodi ukwati wanga ndi umene ukundipangitsa kuvutika maganizo? Inde, ngati mukungopulumuka osati kuyenda bwino muukwati wanu. Mavuto anu aubwenzi apitirira muyeso wanu ndipo tsopano simungathe kupirira moyo watsiku ndi tsiku. Zinthu zazing'ono zolimbitsa ukwati wanu , zinthu zomwe inu ndi mnzanu munachita kuti musangalale nazo zachepa ndipo palibe amene akusamala zothetsa ubale wanu ndi wosakhazikika. Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe mukupulumuka muukwati wanu:

• Simungathe kusiya ndewu zam'mbuyomu ndipo simungakhale ndi tsiku lachisangalalo ndi mtendere limodzi 
• Mwasiya kulankhula za zolinga ndi maloto amtsogolo 
• Mwasiya kugawana mavuto anu a kuntchito, matenda a maganizo, ndi mavuto a m’banja 

3. Simukumva kukhala otetezeka komanso otetezeka 

Jessica, wabizinesi wazaka 46 wa ku Boston, anati: “Ndikakhala ndi mwamuna wanga ndimavutika maganizo kwambiri.

Kuvutika maganizo kumeneku kwa banja lanu kungabwere chifukwa cha zinthu zosiyanasiyana. Zitha kukhala chifukwa:

• Khulupirirani nkhani
• Mitundu yophatikiza
• Zowopsa zomwe zidachitika kale 
• Kusagwirizana kwa kalembedwe
• Nkhani zosathetsedwa
• Kusatetezeka
• Kudziderera 

Ukwati wanu ukhoza kupulumutsidwa pamene inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ofunitsitsa kutenga njira yothandiza yothetsera mavuto amene muli nawo. Pokhapokha mukamalankhulana za nkhani zimenezi, mudzatha kumva kukhala omasuka mu kukumbatirana. Banja lanu lidzakhala lolimba pamene nonse awiri mudzakhala otetezeka m’maganizo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungachitire ndi Kusamalira Chete Modzilemekeza - Malangizo 7 Othandizidwa ndi Akatswiri

4. Mumasowa chochita

Aakhansha akufotokoza kuti, "Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zochititsa mantha kuti mukuvutika maganizo m'banja mwanu ndi pamene mumadziona kuti mulibe mphamvu komanso mulibe mphamvu. Mukumva kuti nyanja yopanda chiyembekezo ikukuzingani ndipo simukudziwa choti muchite. Mumavutika kudzuka pabedi ndikutsatira zomwe mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku. Mukugona kwambiri ndipo ukhondo wanu umasokoneza."

Okwatirana nthawi zambiri amaiwala kuti ukwati ndi ntchito yovuta. Mumafunikira chikondi chopanda malire ndi chithandizo kuti upitirire. Muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti simukulowetsa abale anu pankhondo zanu chifukwa simukufuna kuti ena azikuganizirani zoipa kapena zoipa za mnzanu wa m'banja. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, funani thandizo kuchokera kwa alangizi a ukwati . Aphungu adzathetsa mavuto anu mwaukadaulo ndipo adzayesa kukupangitsani kumva bwino.

5. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu samakuikani patsogolo

Aakhansha akuti, "Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimafooketsa banja ndi pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu samakuikani patsogolo. Zimasonyeza kuti sakuika patsogolo ukwati. Sichinthu chachilendo ngati wina amalephera kupangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti amakondedwa chifukwa cha mavuto omwe akupitirira monga zachuma, kusamalira makolo awo, kapena chisoni imfa ya wokondedwa wanu. Kupatulapo izi, simungalole kuti banja lanu likhale lapadera. zofunika, ndi zokondedwa.” 

Kumva ngati wanyalanyazidwa kungafooketse ukwati ndipo kungayambitse matenda amisala monga nkhawa ndi kuvutika maganizo. Zimasonyeza kuti sakuganiziranso ndipo pali zinthu zina zofunika kuposa iwe. Moyo umalepheretsa mabanja osangalala komanso opambana nthawi zambiri. Zimakhala ngati palibe amene akuchitapo kanthu pa izi.

6. Chilichonse chokhudza wokondedwa wanu chimakukwiyitsani

Khalani 24/7 ndi wina ndipo ngakhale munthu amene mumamukonda padziko lapansi ayamba kukuvutitsani. Chilichonse chimene wokondedwa wanu angakuuzeni ndi kuchita chidzakukwiyitsani. Nazi zina zomwe mungachite kuti musakhumudwe nthawi zonse:

• Sinkhasinkhani ndi kulemba zolemba zanu zoipa
• Chepetsani zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu
• Khalani nokha 
• Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yabwino ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu 
• Tenganinso udindo pa zolakwa zanu
• Lekani kuyesa "kukonza" mnzanuyo 
• Nthawi zonse muzikumbukira kuti ndinu abwenzi ndipo muli gulu limodzi 

7. Ukwati umenewu wakhala wolemetsa kwa inu

Alana, namwino wazaka 28 wa ku Seattle, analembera ku Bonobology kuti: “Kukhala ndi mwamuna wanga kumandipangitsa kuvutika maganizo.

Ngati ukwati wanu ukumva ngati ndende kapena ntchito yotopetsa, ndiye kuti zingakupangitseni kumva ngati ntchito yonse yamaganizo yagwera pa mapewa anu. Ngati muli ndi mavuto ofanana ndi a m'banja monga a Alana, nazi zina zomwe mungachite ngati mutagwira ntchito yonse ndipo ukwatiwu wakhala wolemetsa kwa inu:

• Chilichonse chomwe mukuchitira mnzanu, chiwonetseni. Adziwitseni (popanda kuchita mwano) kuti munaphika chakudya chamadzulo mutabwera kuchokera kuntchito. Auzeni kuti munachotsa zinyalala. Auzeni kuti munapita kokagula nokha. Onetsani ndikuwuzani zonse zomwe mumachita kuzungulira nyumba
• Ayitanireni pakakhala kutukwana, kudzudzula, kugwiritsa ntchito zinthu molakwika, ndi nkhani zina zaubwenzi pomwe mukumva kupwetekedwa mtima ndi zowawa. 
• Zindikirani kuti palibe banja limene limakhala langwiro ndipo muyenera kulipanga kukhala langwiro mwa kuvomereza zolakwa za wina ndi mnzake, zolakwa, malingaliro, ndi kupanda ungwiro kwa wina ndi mnzake. 

Zifukwa 5 Zimene Ukwati Wanu Umakuchititsirani Kupsinjika Maganizo 

Aakhansha akuti, "Nkhanza ndi chiwawa muukwati ndi zina mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zingakupangitseni kukhala okhumudwa muukwati wanu. Kuopa kuti zinthu zikusintha kukhala zosakhazikika ndikokwanira kuyambitsa nkhawa ndi zizindikiro za kudzida komanso kuvutika maganizo mwa anthu. Mu maubwenzi otere, mphamvu zambiri zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kuti mutsimikizire kuti muli otetezeka, ndipo ubongo wanu nthawi zonse umakhala pankhondo kapena kuthawa."

Komabe, kuchitiridwa nkhanza kapena nkhanza si zifukwa zokhazo zimene zimachititsa kuti munthu avutike m’banja. Nthawi zina, ngakhale chilichonse chikuwoneka bwino pamtunda, pangakhale zovuta zomwe zingayambitse zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo. Ngati mukuganiza kuti “Sindikudziwa chifukwa chake mwamuna wanga kapena chifukwa chake mkazi wanga amakhala wachisoni nthawi zonse” kapena ngati ndinu amene mukulimbana ndi zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo koma simukudziwa chifukwa chake, simuli nokha. Maukwati ambiri amakumana ndi mavuto ofanana. Chinthu choyamba chimene mungachite kuti muthetse vutoli ndi kumvetsa chifukwa chake banja lanu lingakuchititseni kuvutika maganizo. M'munsimu muli zifukwa zina: 

1. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amakulamulirani 

Aakhansha akuti, “Malo onse a m’banja amakhala osatetezeka pamene m’modzi ayamba kulamulira ndi kulamulira mnzake, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu si bwana wanu amene angakuuzeni zoyenera kuchita ndi zimene simuyenera kuchita.

Kulamuliridwa kungapangitse munthu kudziona ngati wosafunika, zomwe zingachititse kuti azidziona ngati wofunika komanso kuti azidziona ngati wofunika. Zingakupangitseni kudziona ngati wochepa poyesa kulamulira inu. Mukangomva ngati mukulamuliridwa, lankhulani ndipo zidziwike kuti simukukonda kuuzidwa zochita. Mukangoyamba kuthetsa vutoli mukangobadwa, lidzakhala labwino pa thanzi lanu la maganizo. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimayambitsa kuvutika maganizo mwa mkazi wokwatiwa ndikumva ngati ali ndi mphamvu zochepa kapena zopanda mphamvu muukwati.

2. Kudalirana m’banja kungayambitse kupanda chimwemwe 

Joseph, yemwe amagwira ntchito ku banki m’zaka za m’ma 40, ananena kuti: “Ndili womvetsa chisoni komanso wovutika maganizo m’banja.

Mavuto a Joseph akusonyeza kuti akhoza kukhala m'banja lodalirana . Aakhansha akuti, "Kudalirana muubwenzi uliwonse n'kosayenera. Zimafunika kwambiri mukaika maganizo, zofuna, ndi chisangalalo cha mnzanu patsogolo pa zanu, ndikukhala cholinga chanu pa moyo wanu kuzikwaniritsa. Mumapeto pake mumapereka chilichonse koma osalandira chilichonse. Izi zimaika mavuto onse a ubale pa mnzanu m'modzi, zomwe zingamutopetse maganizo komanso mwakuthupi."

3. Kupanda ubwenzi 

Panali nthawi ina m'moyo wanga pamene ndinkadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndikuvutika maganizo kapena sindikusangalala muubwenzi wanga?” Kufunafuna yankho kunandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti chinali chifukwa chakuti ukwati wanga unalibe umodzi mwa mitundu ya ubwenzi womwe ndi wofunika kwambiri - ubwenzi wamaganizo. Izi zinandipangitsa kumva ngati ndili ndekha; palibe aliyense wa ife amene ankamva ngati kuti tikukondedwa.

Mukakonda munthu ndikusankha kukhala naye moyo wanu wonse, mukuyembekeza kuti mudzalumikizana naye pazigawo zonse - zakugonana, zamalingaliro, zakuthupi, zauzimu, komanso zaluntha. Chifukwa chakuti mumagwirizana pakugonana, sizitanthauza kuti mbali zina zaubwenzi zitha kunyalanyazidwa. Kupanda ngakhale mtundu umodzi waubwenzi kungayambitse mavuto m’banja. 

4. Kusakhulupirika kungakhale chifukwa chimene ukwati umakupangitsani kuvutika maganizo 

Kodi inuyo kapena mnzanu mwakhala osakhulupirika posachedwapa? Kusakhulupirika ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimayambitsa kuvutika maganizo. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , chibwenzi chakunja kwa ukwati cha mnzanu ndi chimodzi mwa zochitika zochititsa manyazi kwambiri m'banja. Kupezeka kwa zibwenzi zotere kungayambitse Major Depression Episodes (MDE) mwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wonyengedwa.

Ngati mukunena kuti “Ukwati wanga ukundipangitsa kukhala wopsinjika maganizo” kapena “Kukhala ndi mwamuna wanga kumandipangitsa kukhala wopsinjika,” ndiye kuti kupanda kukhulupirika kapena kukhulupirirana kapena zonse ziŵiri zingakhale choyambitsa chachikulu. Kukayikitsa kuti munakuberedwa kapena kuulula chigololo cha mnzanu kukhoza kukhala zolephereka zazikulu zomwe zingawononge banja lanu, kukusiyani kuti mukhale ndi maganizo ovutika maganizo. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kumenyana Muukwati - Malangizo 10 Ochitira Zabwino

5. Kusunga chakukhosi ndi chakukhosi 

Aakhansha anati: “M’chondichitikira changa pamene okwatirana abwera kudzalandira chithandizo, amakhala akusunga chakukhosi ndi kusungira chakukhosi kwambiri pa nkhani zimene zinathetsedwa poyera. Nthaŵi zina timavutika kulekerera.

Pamene okwatirana abweretsa mavuto ndi nkhani zakale ndipo akuvutika kukhululukirana, n’zoonekeratu kuti vuto silili m’banja koma m’njira imene akuthana ndi mikangano. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kudziwa momwe mungathetsere mikangano m’banja chifukwa zonsezi zingayambitse kutaya mtima ndi kuvutika maganizo.

Zina 

M'munsimu muli zinthu zina zomwe zingakufikitseni mpaka kunena kuti, "Ubwenzi wanga ukundikhumudwitsa":

• Mavuto azachuma kapena mavuto onse azachuma amagwera munthu m'modzi 
• Wokondedwa wanu samagwira nawo ntchito zapakhomo
• Mwakhala mukukumana ndi kudzudzulidwa kosalekeza ndi mawu achipongwe 
• Pali kunyozedwa, kukhomerera miyala, kunama, kupusitsa, ndi kuyatsa gasi
• Mumaona kuti mulibe chitetezo m’maganizo
• Mumaweruzidwa chifukwa cha zosankha zanu ndi zochita zanu
• Malingaliro anu samaganiziridwa
• Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhoza kukhala ndi kusintha kwa mahomoni kapena akukumana ndi mavuto awoawo

Malangizo 6 Ochiritsira Ngati Ukwati Wanu Ukukupangitsani Kupsinjika Maganizo 

Choyamba, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti mikangano ya m'banja ndi mavuto ndizofala. Chofunikira ndi momwe mumachitira ndi mavutowa komanso kufunika kowathetsa mogwirizana. Ngati mumamukondadi wokondedwa wanu ndipo mukufuna kuti zitheke, m'munsimu muli malangizo ochiritsa ngati banja lanu likuyambitsa kukhumudwa. 

1. Yesani kulingalira ngati banja lanu likukupangitsani kukhala okhumudwa

Kusamala ndi njira yochiritsira yomwe imathandiza kupanga chidziwitso cha momwe mukumvera panthawi inayake, zomwe zimakupatsani mwayi wovomereza malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu popanda kuweruza kapena kusanthula. Zimaphatikizapo kugwiritsa ntchito masewera olimbitsa thupi opumira kwambiri ndi zithunzi zotsogozedwa kuti muchepetse mitsempha yanu. Pali njira zambiri zochitira zinthu mosamala muubwenzi wapamtima ndipo zitha kukhala zothandiza kwambiri pochepetsa nkhawa ndi kupsinjika komwe mukukumana nako chifukwa cha ukwati wanu wosasangalala.

Yang'anirani malingaliro anu ndikuvomereza popanda kuwalola kuti akugonjetseni. Ndikuchita, mudzatha kulimbana ndi malingaliro osasangalatsa ndi malingaliro osatopa nawo. Izi sizidzangothandiza kuthana ndi malingaliro opsinjika maganizo komanso kudzakuthandizani kumvetsera ndi kuyankha bwino. Zimenezi zidzathandiza kuti makambitsirano anu akhale abwino. 

2. Dziwani zofooka za ubale wanu ndi zomwe mumachita bwino 

Ndikofunikira kudziwa zamphamvu ndi zofooka za ubale wanu, wa okondedwa wanu, ndi wofooka wanu. Zofookazo zingaphatikizepo:

• Nkhani zokwiya
• Zilankhulo zachikondi zosagwirizana
• Kuleza mtima
• Mavuto osokoneza bongo
• Kulephera kukhululuka ndi kuiwala 

Ma suti amphamvu akhoza kukhala:

• Kukhala wodekha pamikangano
• Kukhala wachifundo, wachikondi, ndi wokoma mtima
• Kuona Mtima
• Kuthandizana wina ndi mnzake
• Kukhala aulemu 
• Kuthandizana kukula

Kutengera kumvetsetsa kumeneku, mutha kupanga njira yokwanira yothetsera kusiyana kwanu komwe kumakuthandizani. Zimenezi zingathandize kwambiri kuchepetsa mavuto ndi kusakhutira, kusasangalala, ndi kusungulumwa.  

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mafunso 36 Otsogolera ku Chikondi

3. Yesani kudzisamalira 

Kudutsa mu Gawo Lalikulu la Kukhumudwa kungawononge thanzi lanu la maganizo. Kuvutika maganizo kuli ndi njira yopangitsa anthu kumasuka, ndipo ngakhale ntchito zosavuta monga kudzuka pabedi m'mawa uliwonse kapena kutsuka tsitsi lanu zingaoneke ngati zosatheka kuchita. Apa ndi pamene kumakhala kofunikira kuyang'ana pa kudzisamalira nokha ndikupeza momwe mungadzikondere nokha . Nazi malangizo ena a momwe mungadzikondere nokha:

• Muzicheza ndi okondedwa anu
• Yambani kusinkhasinkha nokha
• Idyani zathanzi komanso khalani ndi nthawi yochita masewera olimbitsa thupi
• Idyani chakudya chotonthoza, koma musapangitse kudya kwamtima kukhala njira yothanirana ndi vutoli
• Khalani ndi nthawi m'chilengedwe
• Yambani kulemba 
• Muzicheza ndi nyama
• Osadziweruza nokha chifukwa cha malingaliro anu

4. Dziwani kuti ukwati si mpikisano 

“Ndili ndi chisoni muukwati wanga” ndi “Ukwati wanga ukundipangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa” ndi maganizo omwe ndimagwirizana nawo. Ndinkamva choncho muukwati wanga, ndipo chifukwa chimodzi chinali chakuti ndinkaona kuti ndi mpikisano womwe ndimayenera kupambana. Nthawi iliyonse ine ndi mnzanga tikakangana, ndinkaonetsetsa kuti ndapeza mawu omaliza. Ndinkaonetsetsa kuti ndili ndi mphamvu pa mkangano uliwonse. Zinali zosaganizira za ine chifukwa chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri muukwati nthawi zonse ndi kumvetsera ndikumvetsa mbali ya mnzako pankhaniyi.

Sindinathe kuyimilira kusiya kudzikonda kwanga kupepesa ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti ndalakwitsa. Pambuyo pa ndewu zambiri komanso kupsinjika maganizo, ndinaphunzira kuti ukwati si mpikisano. Simungathe kutsutsana wina ndi mzake ndipo simungathe kuyerekeza ukwati wanu ndi ena. 

5. Perekani mpata wina ndi mzake 

Aakhansha akugawana kuti, “Mukapanda kupatsana mpata wokwanira, zingayambitse mikangano yosalekeza ndipo katundu wa ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka ungayambe kuwononga. Ndicho chifukwa chake mitundu yonse ya malire ndi yabwino. Amateteza umunthu wanu, amalimbikitsa kudzidalira, komanso amasunga thanzi lanu la maganizo kukhala lokhazikika.”

Malire ndi ofunikira chifukwa salola kuti anthu akutengereni mwayi. Iwo amathandizira kuthana ndi kusowa ndi kukakamira. Lembani mitundu yonse ya malire, kuphatikizapo malire a zachuma, ngati mukufuna banja lamtendere. 

6. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri 

Kupsinjika maganizo kukayamba kukhazikika, m'pofunika kupempha thandizo mwamsanga m'malo mochedwa. Inde, mutha kutembenukira kwa anzanu ndi achibale kuti mufotokoze zakukhosi kwanu ndi kutulutsa mawu. Komabe, sangakhale okonzeka kukuthandizani. Kupsinjika maganizo ndi vuto lalikulu la thanzi labwino lomwe liyenera kuthandizidwa moyenera, kuopera kuti lingasinthe kachipatala ndikukankhira pansi dzenje la kalulu lomwe ndi lovuta kubweza. 

Ndicho chifukwa chake, ngati mukukumana ndi maganizo ndi zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo, kufunafuna uphungu n'kofunika. Fufuzani katswiri wa zamaganizo ndipo dziwani chifukwa chake "ukwati wanga ukundipangitsa kukhala ndi kuvutika maganizo" simungathe kusiya. Ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri ndipo mukufuna kupeza thandizo, gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito la Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

Ukwati si wophweka. Koma siziyenera kukhala zovuta nthawi zonse. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti mukulimbana ndi vuto osati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Mutaphunzira mmene mungathanirane ndi vuto limodzi, mudzaona mmene kugwirizana m’banja kulili chinthu chosangalatsa kwambiri. Nyumba yogawanika payokha siikhalitsa. 

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu February 2023.

Ibibazo

9 Zizindikiro Zofunika Zomwe Mwamuna Wanu Akufuna Kupulumutsa Ukwati

Njira 25 Zokhala Mkazi Wabwino Ndi Kukulitsa Ukwati Wanu

11 Zoona Zowawa Zokhudza Ukwati Palibe Amene Amazinena

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.