“Should I have a baby?” this was a question I had started asking myself when I turned 30. I always thought my career was my priority and then my travels but as the biological clock kept ticking, one fine day I found myself wanting a baby like crazy. I had every logical reason to have a baby then. I had financial stability, a big house, a good job and a caring husband.
“What are your reasons to have kids?” Someone asked me. I was a 35-year-old career woman then, heavily pregnant with my first born. “I am dying to have one,” was my answer. And it couldn’t have been more true.
So deciding to have a baby was easy. But to tell you the truth I didn’t really think of so many factors and look into the logical reasons to have a baby. I just wanted to be a part of all the conversations that my colleagues had about their kids. I wanted to have one of my own and add to the conversations and say, “Oh! Yes, they can be so much like this.”
When I had my baby I realised whoever said, “When you have a baby it’s like seeing your heart throbbing outside your body,” – was so right. There is no better feeling than giving your child all your love and watch them grow into capable adults.
You don’t really need reasons to have kids but those who are still deciding whether to have a baby, and thinking if there’s a right time to have kids- this article is for you.
12 Beautiful Reasons To Have Kids
Apart from the need to shower their offsprings with love, people have extremely logical reasons to have children. If you have ever sat down and wondered to yourself, or along with your partner, “Should I have a kid?”, we give you 12 beautiful, sensible and logical reasons to have one.
1. Holding a baby is the happiest thing
Those who have held a new-born baby in their arms will vouch for this reason. There comes a time in a couple’s life where they want to hold their own baby. All the poop conversations, bath-time chaos, and even food fights are worth it in the end, and no one enjoys these precious moments more than the parents themselves.
Claire Brown, a lawyer, had a baby after 10 years of marriage. She decided to delay having kids because she wanted to concentrate on her career first. When talking about her motherhood experience, she was overcome with emotions and described with tears in her eyes, her journey so far.
“When my son was placed on my chest after he was born, all my hesitations disappeared and I knew I was in love that very moment. Just that feeling is one of the best reasons to have kids,” she said.
Related Reading: 12 Tips To Be A Successful Single Mother
2. You pass on your genes
Roy Whatson, a journalist, was 45 and happily single when he suddenly felt that his family genes would die with him. “It’s a feeling that makes you very emotional and I felt directionless. That’s when I got married,” he said. He felt like it was his responsibility to carry forward his family name.
Roy is not the only one who feels this way. There are plenty of people who want to pass on the genes to the next generation and there is satisfaction in that. This is one of the most less discussed but real reasons to have kids.
It’s a hard-to-describe the feeling but it visits many like an epiphany when they suddenly feel disturbed with the thought that their family name would end with them. Add to that an indescribable need to have a baby who would have your mop of curly hair, inherit your grandmom’s dimple or your dad’s brains in chess.
3. A child cements a relationship
It is a myth that a child saves a dying marriage, but it is also true a child brings out the best in a couple. To take your relationship one step forward is a good enough reason to have a child. An additional member can make the family feel complete, fulfilled, and tie everyone together.
A new born baby motivates a couple to not only become better parents, but also pushes them to be better teammates. The way a couple handles a new baby- dividing sleep and waking hours and food and poop times, says a lot about how they function together.
As the days go by and the baby starts growing up, it’s a constant learning process when couples have to re-align their work timings, their thought processes, their parenting techniques and avoid parenting mistakes. They discover their own capabilities with the arrival of a new baby.
4. Reason to have a kid is to look forward to the future
Deciding to have a baby has a lot to do with how you look at your future. The whole process of a baby growing up into a toddler and then a teenager and then going off to college makes you look forward to the future. This is one of the reasons to have kids.
The child growing up in your arms stepping into the world one day, all on his own armed with the knowledge and training given by you, is a heady feeling. It makes you feel proud not only of the person your child has grown to become, but also makes you proud of yourself for all the sacrifices you made over the years.
A child is indeed a reason to look forward to the future. In fact, with a child around every single day is filled with unexpected events, new lessons and abundant excitement. From the first steps to the first stint in the kitchen, it’s emotional and eventful all at once.
5. A reason to have sex
You have tried all the positions, gone through a lot of porn, had all the best sexcations, have tried it outdoors and tapped every inch of the house for some exciting spots, now what? Having a baby is a great reason to have sex. You have a purpose apart from the orgasm to have sex, and trust us that purpose can be very exhilarating.
When those two blue lines show at the end of a month on the pregnancy kit that sense of purpose becomes more fulfilling, more reinforced. The reason to have a child is connected to a reason to have more sex.
After the child is born, when you resume your intimacy, it’s a great feeling to know that what came from your intimacy is fast asleep next to you. Enjoying intimacy with a baby in the room is a different feeling altogether.
6. Finding a new life
If you are bored of your present life – the same group of friends, same parties and same gossip – trust us, your baby will give you a new life and new friends too. Your baby will brighten your world in unexpected ways, and will make you feel grateful every morning when you wake up. So at this point in your life if you are saying, “I want a child,” you are not wrong.
Vionna Robinson, a school teacher, who left her job after having a baby found a whole new world bonding with new moms like her, at her day care, play school and with the moms in her building, sharing tips and tricks on parenting.
“It was a whole new phase in my life as I created new friendships. They really understood me because we had common problems and were dealing with similar challenges of parenting. My kid has grown up but we are still great friends. I found a whole new social circle through my daughter,” said Vionna.
7. A reason for a conversation
After a few years of marriage when you have debated enough about politics and philosophy, binge watched Netflix and have devoured all the bottles of wine, there comes a point in the couples’ marriage when the topics of conversation cease to flow.
After having a baby, even though the conversations revolve around nappies and formula, it’s all very exciting. Every ‘first thing’ achieved by the baby is discussed by the couple for days.
Even before you have conceived just the mere sentence, “I want a child”, will excite your partner and you will end up spending sleepless nights planning and having parenting conversations.
8. You embark on a journey of self rediscovery
A philosopher once said motherhood changes you completely. You cannot look at another child again without a smile on your face. Most mothers would agree. If you’re wondering “Should I have a baby?”, just keep in mind the journey of motherhood and self-discovery will change you completely and make you a better person.
You will look at yourself in a new light. You would discover the endless love your heart could give and receive, to what extent you could go to make sacrifices, and how the things that were so irrelevant and unimportant to you yesterday have become a priority today.
Deciding to have a baby is one thing but once it’s arrived the child becomes a reason to be a better person. A child teaches you to be more kind, accommodative and resilient. Having a child will give you the best friend you could ever ask for.
9. You want to experience unconditional love
Unconditional love is the most beautiful thing in the world and it is shared most strongly with a child. The child does not love with a motive or agenda, the love comes naturally. The same happens for you.
This is the best answer to give someone if they ever ask you for advice with the question, “Should I have a kid?”
Your love for your child is not what you feel towards anyone else. Experiencing this love is reason enough to have a child of your own.
One of the good reasons to have a baby is to feel this unconditional love that you are capable of. You realise how you are willing to move mountains to make their life better and happier. A child can transform you. You will be in awe of your own transformation from a materialistic person to someone who is kind caring, and above all, selfless.
You could love board meetings and career jumps but when you have a child you could just play around with the crayons for hours and enjoy it as much. You end up reliving your childhood through your kid, you adore their innocence, and secretly wish they never have to grow up.
Related Reading: 12 Signs of Unconditional Love In A Relationship
10. To fix past mistakes
You could have grown up in an abusive home or have had toxic parents. You want to right that wrong and you want to have a child and give them a far better life. Correct the wrongs of your parents and get your closure. Not the most logical reason but a reason enough to have kids.
When you have your own kids you want to give them the love and protection that you didn’t get as a child. You will ensure they know they are loved, and will go to any distance to make sure they are comfortable and happy without spoiling them.
Loreen Sparkz, a mom to five kids says, “My parents were extremely strict and I ran away from home at the age of 16 because I hated them. But when I look at my own children I feel I have given them a free environment to grow up in. I feel like I am doing my best and they are growing up a happy bunch.”
11. You want to know what parenting really is
You are always reading about parenting in magazines, websites and blogs and now you have come to a phase in your life when you want to know what parenting really means. You want to know what this talk is all about. Perfect logic to have a baby. You know you’re ready.
Everything comes as a natural progression in life. You want to experience it all step-by-step. There is no denying the fact that there are couples who want to stay childfree and who look at parenting as a burden but there are more couples who want to take up the journey happily. There are some obstacles in the parenting road but the overall journey is extremely fulfilling.
12. You don’t want to die alone
This may sound a bit selfish but the thought that your own flesh and blood would be there to take care of you and hold your hand when you are preparing for your last journey is rather reassuring. The thought of dying alone is scary, and you don’t want to experience that.
You know in your old age, even if you opt to stay in a retirement home, there will be someone to look after you or visit you often. In case of illness they would be there to cheer you up. You can look forward to having grandkids with whom you can play board games, and narrate the stories of your own childhood.
What Are The Wrong Reasons To Have A Baby?
Yes it’s true people often have a baby for all the wrong reasons and end up being extremely unhappy about it. You should never have a baby if you are not ready for it no matter how much you are pushed into a situation. If you ever catch yourself saying, “I want a child”, because of the following 5 reasons, you must put a stop to the thought immediately.
Here are 5 wrong reasons for having a baby.
1. It would salvage your relationship
No, it never does. A dead relationship is dead anyway. Bringing a child to the middle of that is a cardinal mistake. Nothing will change after that.
Things could get worse actually. Along with a ruined relationship, you will also end up ruining the child’s life. A divorce can have negative effects on the child.
2. It was an accident
If it was and if you are mentally and financially prepared to keep the baby then you must by all means. But if you are in no position to give the baby a good life or aren’t up for it mentally, then you should think about it.
Allowing a child to grow up thinking he or she is unwanted will shatter them, and you will never truly experience the joy of parenthood.
3. The child will be a support in your old age
If you love your child you would want them to flourish, and if they love you they would come back to support you. But don’t let this expectation be the single most important reason to have a child.
By pressurising them to support you in your old age, you would actually be pushing them away from you rather than getting closer and building a strong parent-child bond.
Related Reading: 5 Terrible Mistakes My Parents Made In Their 50-Year Old Marriage
4. To fulfill social expectation
That can’t be reason enough to have a baby. Those who are expecting you to have a baby won’t stay up at night looking after it or send it to college. It’s your decision so be aware if you really want it. Don’t take the snide comments to heart, and don’t let it take over your thoughts.
Relatives and over-the-top friends may pressurise you into having a kid and you may find thinking, “Should I have a baby?” But this not a real reason. Only if and when you are truly equipped to have a child, do so.
5. A child is inevitable after a marriage
Not necessarily. There are plenty of couples who choose not to have a child, and end up living happily. Couples should communicate and discuss their viewpoints and opinions before they decide to take this step.
Many couples think that marriage inevitably results in children, but that is not true. At the end of the day having children is a choice, and no one but you should be allowed to make that decision.
As written in this article there are plenty of good reasons to have a child. Let your reason to have a child be a beautiful one and not a wrong one.
When you are mentally and physically capable, financially stable, and your partner is on the same page as you, only then should you take the decision to have a child.
When you want to have kids for the real reasons and not because of social pressure or to make someone else happy. When your partner feels the same way about having a baby, it is only then you are truly ready to have one.
Read more parenting books, look up some online courses and join some parenting classes. Remember, you are not alone- talking to new parents or parents-to-be will help you understand the do’s and don’ts of parenting.
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