Most of the time, it doesn’t take a dramatic breach of trust as you see in the movies to break a marriage. It can be something as simple as saying hurtful things, or a rude remark every now and then. The worst thing a husband can say to his wife ranges from a seemingly innocuous “you’ve let go of yourself” to asking for the dreaded divorce.
While husbands are unknowingly masters at being passive-aggressive (queue opening a condiment jar when one’s already open), sometimes the things they say can shoot right through you. The worst part is, they don’t even realize it.
Right about now, husbands might be thinking, do words even hurt that much? You know, sticks and stones, right? Ask yourself that the next time she calls her dad for tips on how to fix the leaking faucet after telling you “you won’t be able to fix this”.
13 Of The Worst Things A Husband Can Say To His Wife
Husband using the wrong type of cloth in the kitchen to clean the counter? Instant frustration. Did he order himself something to eat and didn’t even ask you if you want anything? You might as well book surgery for that knife in your back. You put up with his snoring and the thousands of alarms he puts up and his tantrums when he’s not being able to find the other half of his socks every morning (like that’s your fault somehow?). Needless to say, you deserve to be treated well.
The petty annoyances aside, there often are some bashful things disrespectful husbands can spew out that end up causing way too much harm. The husband’s behavior towards the wife ranges from a surprise date night to suddenly dismissing her attempts at communication with a “Can I watch TV for once?”. It could even seem impossible to get your husband to listen to you. Without even knowing it, they can say things that destroy a marriage and will stick with you for days to come.
We list out some of the worst things a husband can say to his wife. If your wife has passive-aggressively sent you this article, you need to start taking notes right about now.
Related reading: 12 Things To Do When Husband Is Not Affectionate Or Romantic
1. “His wife lets him do whatever he wants!”
This should seem obvious, but after many years in a marriage, the idea of what you obviously shouldn’t say goes out the window. Comparing your wife to someone else’s implies that your wife isn’t currently good enough and that the “grass is greener on the other side”. Doing this will only lead to a sleep divorce, so get ready.
The animosity wavering in the air as a result of this baseless comparison will not be pleasant to face. Be ready to hear taunts like “I bet you wish you married HIS wife now, don’t you?” every time you as much as roll your eyes at something.
2.“It’s nice you don’t care about how you look”
Okay, this may not be a shot at the wife with all the ill intent in the world, but the framing could use some work. The intention being that the husband meant to say it’s a good thing that you don’t feel pressured by society to always have make-up on and look like a pin-up model.
But, saying something like “I like how you don’t give a crap about the way you look”? Come on, man, think twice before you insinuate that your wife doesn’t look all that great.
3.“You’re not as *insert comparison here* as my ex”
Are you purposely saying hurtful things to your wife? Do you have a death wish? As if comparing the wife to someone else’s wife wasn’t bad enough, comparing her to your ex is literally like taking the highway towards the sofa, because that’s where you’ll be sleeping for the next week at least.
Once you get married, your past girlfriends instantly become witches you had to endure before you found the perfect match for you. If you consider your ex anything more than that, just keep it to yourself.
4.“Can you relax? It’s not even a big deal, you’re overreacting”
If the wife brings something up and is visibly upset about it, the worst thing you can say is “calm down”. If you tell her things like how she’s overreacting, it’ll most probably invalidate her feelings and make her doubt herself. Lack of healthy communication like this is one of the most common relationship problems.
Dismissing her issues as something that’s “not a big deal” will make her think there are only problems, no solutions in this marriage. One of the worst ways a husband injures a wife is by totally disregarding whatever she’s feeling. You’ll know how bad this hurts when she asks you to “calm down” when your favorite sports team is getting humiliated on their home ground.
5.“Who would’ve thought we’d still be together?”
Is it that unthinkable that your marriage will stand the test of time? Ironically, this is one of the things husbands do to destroy marriages. Constantly joking about the shakiness of it in a half-nervous, half-comedic tone.
Do you know who thought you two would still be together? Your wife. Get ready for this to be immediately followed by a, “What do you mean?”. Good luck wriggling your way out of this one!
6. Saying nothing at all
From the list of the worst things a husband can say to his wife, not saying anything at all is right up there. Lack of communication in a relationship is the silent killer that destroys so many otherwise promising relationships. Once things get to the husband’s clichéd behavior towards his wife which includes being glued to screens and acting like his wife is invisible, the road ahead will not be smooth.
No communication will always lead to a broken relationship. Unless you overcome communication problems in your relationship, you’ll never know what’s going on in each other’s minds.
7.“You’re better with the kids and cooking, can you just do them?”
This is riddled with stereotypical and misogynistic undertones. It implies that just because she’s a woman, she must be better at cooking and with the kids. Even if she actually is better, that does not give you the right to kick back and chill with a beer while she looks after the kids and cooks at the same time.
A marriage is built on compromise, trust and hating each other because you make each other repeat themselves all time. If you answer “What?” to your wife asking you to get off your butt and help out, before you know it the spatula will be thrown at you, rather than being used to cook with.
Related reading: How To React When Your Spouse Says Hurtful Things?
8.“You’ve really let yourself go!”
Yeah well, newsflash: life gets in the way of your six-pack dreams. The sex will change, your appearances will change and to hold on to the idea of how you looked when you two were younger is irresponsible, if not childish.
As you two mature, the relationship matures with you. The type of love you have for each other evolves from something more playful to something that’s more unconditional. And the bellies evolve from a six-pack to one big round family pack.
9.“That’s just how I am, you knew what you were getting yourself into”
Hiding your toxic and damaging traits behind a veil of “that’s just what I’m like” is a bad excuse to continue being disrespectful. It shows a lack of empathy and consideration towards the people around you.
Saying, “you knew what you signed up for” implies how unwilling you are to evolve as times around you change. Compromise is a foreign concept for you and you’ll stay the way you are, despite how much it hurts the people around you. Is not changing worth the divorce?
10.“You’re just like my mother”
One of the worst things you can do is compare your wife to your mother, even if it’s in a positive sense. Imagine when you both first started dating, things seemed hot and heavy and there was substantial sexual compatibility. Had you said back then that she’s like your mother, you think she’d have stuck around?
Good luck trying to “set the mood” again after comparing your wife to your mother. It isn’t exactly things husbands do to destroy marriages but it’s right up there as one of the worst things a husband can say to his wife.
11.“I pay all the bills”
Hence, you must be the superior half of the relationship, right? To imply that you’re better or “the man” for paying all the bills is extremely condescending. A disrespectful husband will act as though he’s the judge, jury, executioner just because he earns more or is the sole earner in the household.
By saying this, you make sure you let your wife know exactly what you think of the work she does, very little. When your other half sees how little respect you have for them, it essentially kills love in a marriage.
Related reading: 12 Things To Do When Husband Is Not Affectionate Or Romantic
12.“Can you stop bothering me all the time?”
Lest she disturb your sacred TV time with her feelings and issues, right? If you shut down attempts at communication with a taunt like this, you’re naturally discouraging any communication in the future. Which will result in that light bulb you promised you’d fix being permanently malfunctioning.
Dismissing your wife like this is usually one of the things husbands do to destroy marriages. Even if she’s just worried about your health and asking you not to eat that third samosa. Unless you control your anger in a relationship, things will go sour. When care is considered to be a burden, she’ll obviously gravitate towards a more “do whatever you want” attitude.
13.“You used to be so good in bed”
The days of you two crazy bunnies having passionate intercourse with each other any chance you get, will not come back. The sooner you accept that, the better it will be for the both of you. It’s okay to address problems in the bedroom but shifting 100% of the blame to 50% of the participants is not the way to do it.
Instead of complaining about how she’s not good in bed anymore, try spicing things up yourself. Avoid the blame game and introduce new things you two can do, so it lets her know you want to do some more exciting stuff in bed without hurting her feelings.
The worst things a husband can say to his wife can be a degrading sneer or simply comparing your wife to someone else. The only way to stop saying hurtful things to each other is by knowing what’s hurtful to you and what isn’t. Which means, more constructive, useful communication. It’s not that hard, just say “you look good” instead of “you used to look good”. See, you’re already getting better!