After some time of togetherness, it becomes increasingly common for relationships to get boring. You may have seen in the movies that as an upshot of the seven-year itch or banality of your partner’s surprises – most romantic relationships tend to get boring.
Maria, who works as a sales assistant for an MNC, often grumbles that her healthy relationship feels boring and also that she is struggling to prevent boredom in her relationship. It is a regular grouse for girls that their conversations with boyfriends are turning mundane as they wonder how to fix boredom in a relationship. But fret not! It is important, first of all, to understand that it is absolutely normal.
Relationships are meant to bring happiness to your life. If the lack of excitement creeps in, it must be dealt with at the earliest. But before you take a remedy for something, it is vital to understand the ailment well. Being bored in a relationship means you do not feel enthused to talk to each other for long. There could be situations where you even regret having entered into a commitment. Various factors can cause boredom in relationships but, there are a multitude of ways to avoid it as well.
What Are The Signs Of A Boring Relationship?
It took Suzanne over six months to realize that something was not “right” in her relationship. She initially overlooked her boyfriend’s sporadic indifference toward her as a one-off thing. Later, she realized that it was their new normal when she would tell her friends, “Conversations with my boyfriend are boring.” She now often asks her friends, “Is boredom normal in relationships?”
Things can’t always be as exciting as they were when you first started dating. The nights out will soon turn into nights sitting in front of the TV, eating Chinese takeaway without a care in the world. While for some that might be extremely boring, for others, it’s all they need. If you’re trying to fix a boring relationship, you first need to understand if yours and your partner’s definitions of boredom align.
So before you start fretting over ‘my boyfriend is bored with me what do I do’, ask him if he’s actually bored with you. Who knows, maybe spending a night tucked in with you is his idea of fun. Every day doesn’t have to be a fun-filled extravaganza.
That being said, boring relationship status is enough to make you feel like you’re now one of those 80-year-old couples whose idea of romance is taking their teeth out together before dinner. If you’re bored in a relationship after 2 years, you can definitely up your game a bit.
So, when a relationship fails to give you an adrenaline rush, it is vital to spot the early signs of a boring relationship. For example, when you are unknowingly boring your woman, you should know it through the signs. Some of the common signs of a boring relationship to watch out for are:
- Staying late at work: One of the signs of a boring relationship is that you tend to stay extra late at work because you don’t have too much motivation to go back home. Why would you when you feel bored in your relationship?
- Dine alone: Another sign of boredom in a relationship is that you eat your entire meal while scrolling down your phone messages without conversing with your partner
- No small talk: Aside from this, if you start asking repetitive questions such as ‘how was your day?’ and ‘how are you?’ in an attempt to strike a conversation and are met with monosyllabic responses like ‘the same’ and ‘good’ – it could also be a hint that your relationship is boring
- Traveling solo: You now look forward to the vacations without your partner. It means it is time to fix boredom in relationships
- Fewer outings: One more sign that shows your relationship is boring is that you would like to watch TV instead of going out with your partner
- You don’t laugh together: One of the biggest signs of a boring person/relationship is when you can’t remember when you shared a genuine laugh together. If all you talk about is the weather, there aren’t too many jokes being cracked in your dynamic! Making him blush/laugh is one of the best ways to bring happiness back.
- You don’t have fun with your partner: Overall, if you’re just not having fun with your partner and always need to turn your dates into double dates with another couple, it’s one of the biggest signs that you have a boring relationship status. When you feel bored in your relationship to the extent that you’d much rather go out on a double date than just with your partner, you know you need to shake things up.
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These signs indicate that your relationship is going through a tough time and before it is too late, you must make concerted efforts to prevent boredom in a relationship. So, how do you make a relationship not boring? The answers differ from relationship to relationship, but to help you get started, we’ve listed out 11 ways to fix a boring relationship.
Boredom In Relationship: 11 Ways To Not Let It Happen
Just as Suzanne, if you are also undergoing a phase of self-doubts, you must deal with boredom in your relationship instead of taking solace in the maxim — ‘every relationship gets boring’. Here we list out a few ways to kill the boredom in a relationship so that you can suffuse it with fervor and zeal:
1. Sharing happiness with each other
It’s easy to enjoy a relationship when you share happiness with your partner. Without sharing happiness, the relationship cannot last long. It is significant to know that besides physical intimacy, there are several kinds of intimacies that you share with your partner that can help you be happy with them.
Everytime something good happens to either one of you, the best part is that you can share the happiness with your partner. If you feel bored in your relationship, ask yourself if you’re communicating with your partner enough. Happiness can only be achieved if you let yourself experience it!
2. Prepare meals together
Exchanging sweet nothings may be good at times, but perhaps not always. What one can do instead is create some daily rituals like preparing meals together to bond over and spend quality time together. For instance, Radhika and Ajay, senior corporate executives in their late 30s, make sure to cook and eat at least one meal a day together. This gives them an opportunity to spend time and understand each other well while being engaged in a creative act instead of merely holding hands.
So if you’re wondering “my boyfriend is bored with me what do I do?” pull out some onions and tell your boyfriend to chop away. Soon he’ll be crying tears of joy just because he’s so happy to spend time with you. The onions have nothing to do with the tears, of course.
3. Watching your favorite shows together
It is important to spend quality time together if you know that your healthy relationship feels boring. And it doesn’t always have to involve fancy plans. Something as simple as cuddling together on the couch and watching an interesting movie or show together can do the trick.
When Isabel realized that her relationship with her partner Ron is falling apart for no particular reason, she suggested to him that they watch at least one romantic flick every weekend to reinforce the romance in their hearts. He agreed, and now she says, “I look forward to our romantic Sunday evenings.”
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4. Make a gift for your partner
Buying a bouquet or a piece of clothing may not resonate with your partner as much as preparing a gift from scratch. When you are in a long-term relationship, you can explore several gifting options, add a touch of your creativity to it and infuse a breath of freshness in your partnership.
If you’re bored sexually in a relationship, why not make something from scratch to spice things up in the bedroom? A DIY sex toy perhaps? Or you jazz up your old lingerie to reignite the passion. Heating things up in the bedroom is often a great way to fix a boring relationship.
5. Decorate a room together
When you do something constructive for your joint possession such as for your house or car, there is a sense of shared purpose that can help you connect with each other. It does not necessarily mean that you have to spend a fortune on renovating the house or buying expensive furniture. At times, merely collaborating with your partner to make a wall hanging can create nice memories to cherish.
If you’re bored in a relationship after 2 years, try and decorate a room together. Nothing says love like some manual labor. Plus, it’ll help you see just how handy your boyfriend is. While you’re at it, throw a splash of paint on his T-shirt. It’s bound to happen anyway, might as well get a laugh out of it! Things to do with your boyfriend at home aren’t as boring as you thought.
6. Go to the movies
Watching a movie at a cinema has its perks. When you plan a date, you arrange several logistics such as those relating to parking, lunch, snacks, what to wear, etc. And at the end of it, you tend to feel happy for having put together a nice evening. Even if you both don’t like the same kind of movies, it’d be fun to explore the genre your spouse swears by.
If one of you likes Indie movies, but the other prefers trashy action movies, maybe both of you will take a liking toward a new genre you’ve never been interested in before. Or maybe you can take turns picking out the movies you want to watch. The answer to how do you make a relationship not boring sometimes requires a little bit of sacrifice. The beautiful cinematic long shots of 1917 can wait, you’ve got to first watch Vin Diesel fly a car to space!
7. Looking forward to a vacation
To prevent boredom in a relationship, you can plan a vacation together. It is as important to go on vacation with your partner as it is to plan it. When you plan a vacation, you give your partner and yourself hope of spending a good time with each other, a few weeks down the line. And when that ‘hope’ materializes, your bond gets stronger. The vacations should ideally be varied – from mountains to the sea and from heritage monuments to high streets.
8. Setting interesting couple goals
Some couple goals are meant to be set every year to avoid boredom in a relationship. These inspire the couples to look forward to doing something nice and exciting together such as spending a rainy evening together on a drive or driving to a famous restaurant 300 miles away on a weekend for a nice lunch on a sunny winter afternoon.
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9. Group outings
Sometimes group outings with your other couple friends or extended family add to the much-needed fun quotient in your life. Being with your partner is one thing but being with him/her along with the group of your friends tests your comfort level amid their intrusive glares. This goes a long way in strengthening your commitment to the partner. Preventing boredom in a relationship comes as a bonus.
10. Join some hobby class together
If you like to play tennis or love swimming, it is a good idea to sign up for classes together. Ashish and Neha, a young couple, joined weekend Urdu classes that allowed them to not only spend time together but also to help them learn a new language.
Joining a hobby class will allow you to appreciate each other’s expertise in that area. Remember that it is not as important to indulge in that activity as much as to do it together.
11. Laugh together
Laughing together is one of the most underrated pleasures. It is extremely important to share laughter and light-hearted moments with your SO for curbing boredom in a relationship. When you share happiness, you tend to appreciate each other’s jokes. This strengthens your bond, throwing boredom out of your bedroom window.
While it is true that boredom in relationships is absolutely normal, not every couple walks an extra mile to fritter the boredom away. Some embrace it as a fait accompli, while others find an excuse to “move on” in life. But if you are really committed to the promises you made at the start of this romantic journey, then you ought to find ways to stand by those promises so that you walk together and cover as much distance as you can – and do so while still finding joy in each other’s company.