If you’re single, you know how hard it is to meet someone who you can hit it off instantly. The chances of that happening can dwindle quickly if you come across as one of those boring men who can put their date to sleep. Women are more easily bored than you think. Don’t mistake that approving smile as an expression of her interest, she might just be trying to be nice.
If you are a boring date, she’s probably already texting her friend to call her with an emergency, or making a mental note of all the laundry she needs to do. With that, goes the possibility of a second date.
To break free from this vicious circle of first dates that lead nowhere, we suggest you introspect to see if you fit in the category of boring guys. But since nobody really likes to deem themselves boring, you’ve probably never thought about acknowledging it. To help you with that, we’re decoding what makes a man boring to a woman.
10 Signs Of A Boring Guy From A Woman’s Perspective
It is no secret that men and women are wired differently. What seems interesting and engaging to you may bore the living daylights out of her. So, it is only sensible to view what constitutes boring men from a woman’s perspective. For example, that sporting event you saw last night might be all the rage amongst your guy friends, but unless she’s a huge fan herself, she probably doesn’t care about who scored the winning goal or shot, and so she definitely won’t be needing the second-by-second replay.
Even if you’re not talking about things like sports and wrestling on dates, you still might come across as boring without even realizing it. Think about it, would you want your date to talk about something that you’re not one bit interested in? Let’s figure out how not to be boring after we take a look at the signs of boring men, so you can identify the problem at least. Here is our lowdown on the signs of a boring guy:
1. Boring men are steeped in patriarchal privilege
One boring personality trait in men is their allegiance to the age old norms of patriarchy. Women are bored with men that seem to be cast out of the same mold. The one who aspires to be the “man of the house” and is unaware of his privilege. The man who likes to order for his date at restaurants and doesn’t believe in going Dutch or women picking up the tab.
The man who says things like “I can allow my life partner to work” as if it’s a decision he believes he gets to make. Who comments on the length of a woman’s dress or the number of drinks she’s had. All boring, boring, very boring. Break the mold! Talk to women without offending them, and we might be interested in a conversation.
Related Reading: 10 Tips To Date When You Have Social Anxiety
2. They brag to no end
Bragging does not just put you in the category of boring guys but also makes you annoying. Would you care if we told you about the debate competition we won in high school or the remarks we got on a recent appraisal at work? No? Yeah, we neither.
This is not to say that we don’t respect your achievements. But it’s just not polite date conversation. We are not here for a TedTalk, are we? These things can be discussed once two people grow closer and genuinely want to know about the smallest details of each other’s lives.
By bringing this up during initial dates, you’re condemning yourself to the zone of boring men, or the ones who think they’re the best thing that ever happened to planet Earth. Snap out of this bad dating habit NOW.
3. Complete lack of courtesy
No, we do not mean chivalry. We don’t want you to open doors and hold out chairs for us. Or even pick up the bill every single time. We’re talking basic courtesies like not yelling at the waiter or picking a fight in a bar when we are with you. For the love of God, make eye contact when you talk to a woman, don’t just stare at her breasts. Instant turn off, instant rejection.
Basic courtesies are expected from anyone, be it a date or a coworker. If you show up thirty minutes late to a date, forget about trying to figure out “how to not be boring with a girl”, first think about the sincere apology that you so owe her, otherwise there won’t be a girl for you to entertain.
4. Cheesy one-liners will make us see you as boring men
Yes, we do not want you to take our hand, look us in the eye and recite cringy couplets. The same goes for those cheesy one-liners as well. Life isn’t a Hollywood movie. Let’s keep it as real as it can get. All this mush is so done to death that it instantly makes us zone out.
Especially when it’s one of those one-liners we’ve all heard and seen before. “Did it hurt?” I don’t know if it hurt for me, but it’s sure going to hurt your ego when I don’t even let you get to the end of this incredibly over-used “pick-up line”. The minute you use a recycled one-liner on someone, expect to be hit with something along the lines of “Men are boring, please leave me alone.”
Related reading: 5 Signs He Is Ignoring You For Someone Else
5. Mansplaining counts as boring personality traits
Your condescending responses to what we have to say or breaking down nuggets of information like we’re 5-year-olds, counts as one of those boring personality traits that make us want to bolt. We can talk about car engines and investments and politics. Don’t act surprised, let go of your stereotypical misconceptions, and don’t make the mistake of brushing off our opinions as invalid just because they’re coming from a woman.
When a man thinks he knows more about something than a woman even though she may be an expert in the field, solely because he’s a man, it’s always an instant turn-off.
6. An urgency to get into our pants
Unfortunately, every woman has been through this. The initial conversations go well, we’re hitting it off until boom, the guy creepily slides in the most sexual remark you’ve ever heard. It’s not just boring, it’s absurd. You barely know her, what do you expect her to say to, “What would you like me to do to you in bed”? Nothing. Leave me alone.
We’ll get there, when and if we get there. If you’re going to sit around and make us feel like the sole reason why you’re out with us is to get into our pants, you’re going to make one helluva boring date. No self-respecting woman is going to give you a second chance. Hold off the sexual overtures and innuendos until it’s appropriate.
7. Boring men are not well-read
It’s perfectly all right if we don’t have the same taste in books or if you have not heard of that one book we consider a cult classic. But if you just don’t read at all or don’t have an interesting personality, you will invariably turn out to be one of those boring men who doesn’t know how to strike an interesting conversation.
Imagine she starts talking about her favorite movie, and you say you aren’t into movies. She proceeds to talk about her favorite pop band, and you don’t listen to pop music. Give her something to work with, put forth the best aspects of your personality. No woman is looking to be dating a boring guy.
8. A constricted worldview makes you boring
We know we’re dating a boring guy when your worldview is closed, outdated, and constricted. It’s a clear sign that you’ve made no effort to keep up with the times, absorb different perspectives on situations and form a unique opinion on things.
From climate change to geo-politics and everything else in between, if your ideas seem borrowed and stale, we’re not going to be interested. A lack of will to change becomes an absolute deal-breaker.
9. Lacking a sense of humour
Wit is a sign of intelligence, and it attracts a woman a whole lot more than your fat paycheck or swanky car. If you completely lack a sense of humor and just cannot make us laugh, you’re not going to be able to hold our interest for long. We may make it through one boring date with you, or two, but it is not going to go far.
If you’re stressing out too much about this one, don’t let it get to your head. Making a girl laugh isn’t as hard as it seems, sometimes all it takes is having a genuine conversation with her without urgently trying to impress or flirt.
10. Boring men lack a sense of adventure
By adventure, we don’t mean that to be interesting you have to jump off planes and cliffs, obviously, but having an adventurous streak that eggs you on to soak up new experiences in life. What’s more boring than spending your entire life doing the same things, day after day, year after year?
If you can’t mix things up a little, you’re displaying one of the classic signs of a boring guy. Try out that adventure sport you’ve always been afraid to try, travel to the places you’ve always wanted to go to. Make a few memories, so you don’t come across as the blandest person alive.
So, take a long, hard look at these signs of a boring guy, and see where you can make amends to improve your prospects of dating successfully. If you’ve figured out you could use some work on conversation skills, here are a bunch of tips on how to not be boring with a girl that should help you out.
How To Not Be Boring When Talking To Women
If you’ve never really been the funniest of the bunch or aren’t even too big on traveling and collecting the most enthralling stories, don’t worry too much. Figuring out how to not be boring is as easy as being comfortable in your own skin, and confidently putting your best foot forward. The following tips should help:
1. You don’t have to constantly try to impress her
A conversation isn’t a laugh-a-thon where you have to make her laugh every two minutes. When the pressure wears off, you’ll feel a lot more at ease in your conversation. We’d recommend not overdoing it with the puns about her name, or better yet, avoid them altogether. Puns can very quickly go from receiving an “aww!” to an “okay, stop.”
Related Reading: 25 Signs A Girl Is Interested In You
2. Ask about her
Talking to someone isn’t a one-way street, it requires equal effort from both ends. Try to notice if she’s interested in you, ask her questions about herself, make her feel like you genuinely want to know her. Is she a beer person or a teetotaler? Does she enjoy beaches or the mountains? A simple way to avoid being hit with the “men are boring” tag is to just be genuinely interested in your date.
3. Talk about mutual interests
If you’re talking about Albert Camus and his thoughts on existentialism, it might not be the most gripping conversation (unless she’s a philosophy nerd herself). Interesting ways to chat and make the conversation flow only take place if you talk about the things she’s interested in. Try not to talk about that niche thing you and only 18 other people on the specific subreddit are interested in. You have to talk about things you know she likes too.
Though you might be stressing about it, how to not be boring with a girl is really as simple as that. Be yourself, be courteous and have conversations about things you know she’s interested in. Boring men tend to think they’re the belle of the ball (Dunning-Kruger, much?), so if you know of someone who’s boring, send them this article. It might just do them some good.
A boring relationship is one in which neither partner feels too excited to meet each other and don’t do too many things together. In such a relationship, partners might not even have too many things in common or anything to talk about.
If you think you are boring, try to develop some new hobbies to enrich your personality. Make new friends, have a few new experiences, and make memories. The more you find yourself, the more interesting you’ll become.
A boyfriend who doesn’t like to talk too much or doesn’t like to get out of the house at all can be considered a boring boyfriend. Though their likes may differ from their partner, someone who’s unwilling to do anything fun at all might be justifiably termed as boring.