Crazy things couples do when no one’s watching

Team Bonobology
alia kissing varun

Going crazy in love

Hemingway knew what real, flawed, stupid love feels like and we love him for that.

When we fall in love with the best person we know and reach a certain comfort level, our world goes crazy. In the best possible way though. After all there is nothing more awesome than living with our best friend, whom we can also have sex with.

For those of you who think you are weird as a couple, let me assure you, you are not alone. We all do crazy couple-y stuffs when nobody is around. Here are some of the ‘eww’ things couples do when nobody’s around.

1. Check their hard-to-reach places for abnormalities

If the bum is itching or if the nostril feels weird or if one is too lazy to clean the ear wax even though it’s causing discomfort, the other one takes charge and checks what’s wrong.

Related reading: Why lust is important to understand love

2. Smell armpits to check if they need a wash

Living as a couple is hard work. Sometimes they have to smell each other’s armpits to make sure if the other one really needs to take bath. It’s also a good way to fake the amount of stink one is giving out just to annoy them to take shower in winter.

man shaving armpit

3. Help with the morning gunk

It’s not gross, its pure love, baby. By cleaning each other’s morning gunk we take a mental picture of their perfect morning eyes. Whatever comes out of our partner’s body is a human thing and we love them enough to get that.

4. Share the same towel

When no one is around, there is no judgement. Plus sharing the same towel means we get to wear each other’s smell all day long. Say, ‘aww’!

Related reading: When my breakup led me to extreme sexual frustration

5. Scrap hairballs out of the shower drain

Because it has both of your pubic hair in it. When we love a person with all our heart, we even love every strand of hair they have on their body.

6. Pop each other’s zits

They make each other sit and pop every zit off the face, armpits, back and bums. The pus doesn’t gross them out either. If that’s not pure love, we don’t know what is.

7. Kiss with morning breath

Loving a person in and out makes even the morning breath beautiful. There is no need to brush first. We no longer need to frantically take out the mouth spray every time we kiss or feel apologetic about the bad breath.

8. Shave pubic hair in front of each other

We know who is getting the only peek in there except ourselves, so no biggie there too. Being in love also means helping each other shave the most delicate pubic hair zones.

9. Unashamedly show naked bloated bellies

Being comfortable with the one you love also means belly flab is no more a turn off. After a heavy meal or when we have put on weight it’s okay to show each other our bloated bellies for argument sake. Or sometimes for the sheer pleasure of it.

10. Cuddle in smelly old clothes, unwashed hair and stinky underpants

The most amazing part of living with your best friend is about being in a ‘non-judgemental and always loving’ zone. Cuddling on the couch in unwashed clothes and smelly body and watching Netflix is about realising Hemingway’s view on love was spot-on.

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