Our fantasies change and become more practical as we grow older. However, until you sit down and actually start listing them out for yourself, you might not even know how your choice of partner has changed as you have continued to mature. We were especially curious about how this would work for two different people from completely different generations, so, I got my favourite ray-of-sunshine, Divya, who turns 15 this September and sat her down with one of my closest friends, Sampada, who is 35, to discuss in detail what their perfect men would be like. And here are their answers:
1. What would you like your partner’s profession to be?
Divya has been listening to all the English bands lately so her answer was straightforward. She wants a drummer in a band. She wants the tour buses and long jet plane rides that come as additional perks. When I investigated more, I found out that she wanted someone like John Legend, who would also be very sweet to her all the time. After all, when it comes to true love, age is just a number, right?
Sampada minced no words when she chose the ideal profession. “Look, professors are dreamy, alright? Also, they get the largest vacations so.” For Sampada, the idea of a travelling husband who won’t ever be around is not appealing. She wants someone who has the same academic interests as her and whose work involves pretty much the same stuff as hers. So, a professor it is.
2. How should he look?
Divya browsed pictures on her phone for about 30 seconds before she picked out the photo of Karan Singh Grover. Blushing, she told us, “He would have to be buff like Karan, and all smiles, and he would also need to be very tall.” Sampada was laughing at the young girl the entire time Divya listed these things out but, turns out she had pretty much the same reaction to Milind Soman.
“Look, I know he is married and everything, but I grew up on “Made in India”. Itna concession toh banta hai.” She giggled.
3. What should his interests be?
Divya had a whole list. She told us that she could not be with anyone who did not like Harry Potter as much as she did. They must also be very smart and know to play guitar. Maybe a little bit of poetry wouldn’t hurt either. “If he writes me songs, I will probably go all gaga”. Divya gushed.
For Sampada, debating and conversation in a relationship are the most essential things. Like Divya, she also seeks similar interests, but, mostly she just wishes she would meet someone she could talk to, one-on-one, and actually find the conversation interesting.
4. How should he deal with other people?
Divya wants a tough boyfriend who would stand up to her bullies at school. Like most young ladies her age, she, of course, wishes for someone older, who can be there for her always and in varying circumstances.
Sampada says, “I have been following the teachings of Osho and Rumi for a long time, and I just want the person I end up with to be kind. I can never be with a person who treats other people badly.”
5. How should he dress?
Divya thinks this is easy. He has to have the best fashion sense in the market. “But, dude, he needs to be able to carry a simple loose tee too. That, combined with large nerdy glasses, is a serious turn on.”
Sampada’s tastes are sort of simpler in this regard. “Honestly, I would like anyone who refuses to get out of their comfy pajamas and wants to stay home and watch movies with me or something. Dressing up for occasions, is nice. Especially suits. Suits are lovely”, she laughs. Divya adds that she finds men in nice suits undeniably hot too. At least we know some things don’t change with age.
6. What should his personality be like?
Divya needs to think about this one a bit. “Hmm, maybe a bit broody and serious. With a sort of gravity, you know? The kind that makes people notice them. He is not angry or anything. Just serious. Sort of complicated like he has a lot on his mind.”
Sampada laughs at Divya’s description. Indeed, all or many of us did go through the emo and complicated phase. But all she wants is someone kind. “Someone who is a partner-in-crime and has my back. Maybe he has a very bad sense of humour but he always knows how to make me laugh. Impulsive yet responsible and caring.” She adds, “He almost sounds fictional at this point.”
It is interesting to note how our tastes really seem to go through a lot of changes as we grow up. Yes, one might grow up to be a completely different person than Sampada but at least some things seem to remain the same. Like our love for suits and Milind Soman.