Have you ever wondered why a few of our friends end up marrying their high school sweethearts while most of us are out there, still in search of that one perfect person? They might have gotten lucky to meet their soulmate at a young age. But as an adult, it can be tricky to understand how to make a relationship last until marriage.
By the time we are in our mid-20s, we know relationships are complicated. Heartbreak back in high school, toxic past relationships, parental divorce – such experiences can lead to deep-seated trauma and trust issues for life. These can become so hard to overcome that we give up on love.
So, if one fine morning you wake up, stare at your loved one sleeping in peace and think, “I want our relationship to last forever”, you should give everything to make it work. It’s great that you came across this article because we will reveal the secrets to a long-lasting relationship. Stay tuned and you will find yourself with a better perception of how to make a relationship last until marriage.
What Makes A Relationship Last Forever?
Is everyone around you getting married, getting engaged, or posting cute parenting pictures on Instagram? Trust me, it’s nothing but the fancy illusion of the virtual world that makes it look all glittery. Some people present relationships like a child’s play. But even they try hard and make compromises to reach where they are today.
Are you curious about what makes relationships last? Let’s find out together.
1. Want to make a relationship stronger? Keep realistic expectations
High hopes and unreal notions of an ideal romantic partner will not make a relationship last a lifetime. If your partner fails to meet that high pedestal, it will only bring disappointment. Not all of us are as lucky as Ted Mosby who met the woman of his dreams, twice over.
2. A high trust quotient can make a relationship last forever
How far can you go if you have to constantly worry about your boyfriend having an affair with his boss or your girlfriend still being in love with her ex? Jealousy and unjust insecurities can rust a relationship, rendering it hollow. Once a couple reaches that phase where they can have absolute trust in each other, they are in for a long ride.
3. One big secret to long-lasting relationships: Acceptance
Do you stare at happily married couples at the park and think to yourself, “I want what they have.” Does that make you wonder, “How to make a relationship last until marriage and beyond?”
In all likelihood, the secret to their lasting love story is an acceptance of the raw, vulnerable version of each other. They have loved both the good and the bad. Changing a person completely is not the way to make a relationship last forever. You must motivate your partner, inspire them and bring out the best in them, but at the same time, accept them for who they are, whole-heartedly.
4. Grow together to build a good relationship with your partner
My friend Laura and Dave have been together for three years. But to this day, Dave lies about going to art school because Laura feels it will ruin his bright prospects in law.
Two partners must understand each other’s passion, priorities and obligations. A relationship is a team effort. You are in this together. Celebrate your partner’s accomplishments rather than keeping score.
Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Grow In A Relationship Every Day
5. Rules for a long-lasting relationship? Apologies and forgiveness
You want to see your girl walking down the aisle in a gorgeous Vera Wang, smiling at you. Am I right? Realizing this dream will take both of you putting aside your ego for the sake of this relationship. If she chooses to be the bigger person and apologizes after a fight, you should find a way to forgive her and move forward.
7 Tips To Keep Your Relationship Alive Till Marriage
Commitment, loyalty, adjustment – concepts like these may sound too heavy and old-school for our Tinder generation. But they are not behind the times. Rather they constitute that extra bit of effort we loath to put in a relationship nowadays.
You are here and looking for an answer to what makes relationships last. It shows that you are ready for the endgame. Well, there are no one-size-fits-all rules for a long-lasting relationship. You can try a few tweaks that fit your relationship dynamics.
Love alone is not enough to build a good relationship with your partner. You may wish for the honeymoon phase to last forever. But it has to end at some point, unveiling a world of responsibilities, compromise, jealousy and insecurity. If you live under the same roof, red flags will become more visible as people can’t keep on pretending for a long time.
So how to make a relationship last until marriage while being your most authentic self? We have seven useful tips for you.
Related Reading: When Is The Honeymoon Phase Over? 15 Signs To Watch Out For
1. Do not lose yourself in ‘us’
Understanding how to make a relationship last until marriage is no rocket science. Here’s a little insight. Do not confuse love with consenting or agreeing unconditionally to anything and everything. Abandoning your true self and becoming joint at the hip with your partner is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
To make a relationship last a lifetime, you have to be vocal about your own choices. When you are making a big life decision, make sure both of you chime in equally. You cannot give up on your passion or dreams you have cherished since childhood simply because your partner does not understand or support that. If you have a checklist you wanted to fulfill before turning thirty, get on with it.
Above all, prioritize your individuality. Create a space for yourself and make time for things and activities that make you happy and prioritize setting boundaries based on mutual understanding.
In short, compromise, do not sacrifice. Compromising means both parties make an effort and meet each other halfway. Sacrificing, on the other hand, is a one-person job with no reciprocation or sense of gratitude whatsoever from your partner. Spot the fine line between the two and make your choice.
2. Address problems before it’s too late
How to make a relationship last until marriage 101 – do not sleep on your problems. No two people fit each other like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Mind the gap.
It’s quite normal to have a conflict of interest. A few fights and arguments will help make a relationship stronger. When you bottle up whatever is bothering you internally, it results in bitter rage and fury after a certain time.
Defining your issues and direct communication are the secrets to long-lasting relationships. Once you talk them through, both of you get clarity on how to deal with the matter in the future. Here are some tips to ensure a minor misunderstanding doesn’t land in a bad breakup:
- Find the right time to start the conversation
- Avoid violence at all cost
- Fighting drunk is a big no-no
- Figure out a way to channel your anger before an argument
- Try to keep your cool and analyze a problem from the rational aspects
Related Reading: 8 fights every couple will have at some point in their relationship
3. Show the decency of taking accountability
Are you overburdened at work?
Did you have a nasty fight with an old friend?
Yes, you are stressed, frustrated and angry. We understand.
But does that give you the green light to lash out at your partner and accuse them of everything going downhill in your relationship? The blame game is such a childish act. As mature adults, we expect you to handle situations in a sensible manner.
You will reach nowhere by portraying your partner as the ‘bad guy’. It may seem like it will shift the focus from the damage done by you. But as you spend more time finding faults in each other, you suck the air out of your relationship.
So, if you do want to know how to make a relationship last until marriage, own up. Take accountability for your actions. Everything else will fall into places with time.
4. Nurture your love
When was the last time you enjoyed silence together? Sitting on a rooftop, watching the stars, looking into each other’s eyes – these little moments can go a long way to rekindle the faded feelings of love and romance. Discovering each other every day in a whole new way is what makes a relationship last.
The constant rush in our work culture presents productivity as the biggest virtue. Trust me, it’s okay to stop for a while. Arrange a candlelight dinner for your sweetheart. Cook for them. Go on that romantic couple spa getaway this weekend. Try to remember the small details. It only shows that you care. Among all the ways of how to make a relationship last until marriage, put a pin on this one.
Related Reading: How to Rekindle a Relationship? 5 Best Ways
5. Want to make a relationship last a lifetime? Show up
Nate takes every chance he gets to assure Sarah that he loves him. He will do anything for her happiness. Yet he could not make it to her father’s funeral. “Sorry babe, got a thing with Dan and the boys. I will see you at home tomorrow,” he said.
Do you comprehend there is a difference between words and actions? We believe in action. You can say “I want our relationship to last forever” a hundred times a day or you can do something meaningful to make them happy.
We are not suggesting that you plan an expensive, grand surprise for her birthday. You can, but the point here is, do not associate happiness with material extravaganza. Take a stand for their cause. Listen, give your full attention to a conversation. Sign up for that cooking class she always wanted to attend together. Be excited when he says you are the first one to read his poetry.
In case you are trying to understand how to make a relationship last until marriage, take a small step and look for ways to make your presence felt.
6. Remember the power of touch
Physical contact plays the title role in evolving a relationship over the years. Non-sexual touches are just as crucial as sexual intimacy. Studies say that hugging someone you love for 20 seconds a day reduces the stress level to a great extent as it releases Oxytocin, or as they call it, ‘the love hormone’. Human touch is the fountain of feel-good endorphins which alleviate pain and make you happy.
You may not assess this as an unbreakable rule for a long-lasting relationship but it’s kind of an important one. Hold hands while walking down the streets. Kiss goodbye. Hug them from behind while they are cooking or brush the fringe off their face. A consoling embrace when they are upset or a peck on the cheek. It’s as simple as that. Such little gestures can be therapeutic and widen the scope to make a relationship stronger.
Related Reading: 13 Non-Sexual Touches To Feel Intimate And Close
7. Be grateful, be kind
Our last suggestion, but certainly not least, is to show your gratitude. Express how grateful you are for every sunrise you could cherish with your loved one. Tell them you are grateful for their constant support through thick and thin. As a person feels appreciated and not criticized for every single action, it tends to build a stronger connection.
Life has taught us to be strong, to be self-sufficient. No matter how resilient and tough we try to act, at our very core, we all want that one special person who will care for us and stick to us over the odds. Try to create that safe space in your relationship. If two people could feel secure and loved in each other’s companion, the journey to make a relationship last forever has to be pleasant.
Before you get on cracking how to make a relationship last until marriage, do make sure you both are on the same page. Someone spending their energy, emotional endurance and valuable time at the wrong place is not so desirable.
Now you have the key to the secret door of a happy, long-lasting relationship. We hope, sooner or later, you meet your precious one at the altar. We wish you a fairytale ending!