Married Life

How we divided our financial responsibilities after marriage

It is important to decide the future of your finances while deciding the future of your relationship
responsiblities

When you are in the honeymoon phase of your relationship before marriage, money matters are rather dreamy. The guy tries to impress her by being chivalrous and trying to get the bill every time they go out for a date or a movie. The girl loves all the attention, and depending on how she wants it, would want to pay occasionally or just go Dutch with the guy. My point is that money does not tend to be a bone of contention mostly before you are married.

But once you get married, Poof! Money becomes a whole different ballgame, something you might not have even prepared for.

Let me cite an example. If there are things to be bought for the house, curtains for example, the guy might be expected to pay for it. The guy, however, might think of a very rebellious thought – do we really need so many different sets of curtains? How difficult is it to keep the same one on or just have, maybe, one extra change? This is where the alarm bells start going off. This might be a very small example, but it does illustrate how various objects might be perceived as a ‘want’ or a ‘necessity’ depending on the outlook of the person looking at it. Beyond this, there is the entire thing about personal objects. The guy might want to go for a PlayStation and take money from the corpus both have been saving for. The girl would probably think this is a bad idea. His thoughts about that new duvet that she has been planning to pick up at the sale might also be to the same effect. This ends up causing a lot of stress to both the partners involved in the relationship, souring things where they needn’t be.

married life

Related reading: 10 reasons why Indian couples fight

There are ways out of this conundrum. While I may not be a psychology expert, I can quote examples from my own life and how I put an end to this perpetual problem that crops up between partners. I had a love marriage, and am party to this situation that keeps cropping up time and again. The above situations are completely real and many among you would relate to it.

To begin with, my wife and I have very clearly demarcated expenses that we are responsible for.

Demarcating expenses

We decided this based on our individual earnings. Once this has been done, a lot of squabbles are immediately taken care of, because each knows what the other has to pay for. Beyond this, we also tend to split vacation expenses between us.

Related reading: Take Me as I’am: The 8th Vow

This is open to discussion given the dynamics that you might share with your partner, but it does reduce the economic burden on both individuals. Also, the cases above are particularly relevant when both members are earning. Since this is mostly the case in metro cities, it holds relevance to a large portion of our readers. In case either of you is a housewife or a househusband, then these mechanics would probably change a little. The crux, that the best of budgets are only managed through complete understanding of your partner, is the only thing that you need to keep in mind.

Love conquers all but sometimes money conquers love

Money and living-in

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