Kodi Mungatani Ngati Mukumva Kuti Sakugwirizana Ndi Okondedwa Anu?

Kodi mukumva kuti simukugwirizana ndi bwenzi lanu? Kusagwirizana kwaubwenzi kumakhala kofala mokwanira, makamaka ngati mwakhala nthawi yayitali limodzi ndipo zinthu mwina zikuyenda pang'ono, kapena mwakhala mukutengana mosasamala. Mwina pali chotchinga cha mikangano yosathetsedwa yomwe ikuchulukana pakati panu, kukupangitsani kumva kuti muli kutali, kapena ubale wanu ukungoyenda mopanda cholinga.

Pali kuthekera kuti kusagwirizana kwamalingaliro uku kungakhudzenso moyo wanu wakugonana, chifukwa chikondi sichikukuchitirani inu. Kapena mukumva kutayika kwa mgwirizano ndi mnzanu pambuyo poti mwana afika pamalopo. Zifukwa zomwe anthu amasiyanirana ndi chibwenzi zitha kukhala zosiyanasiyana. Funso ndilakuti, kodi mumatani kuti muyambitsenso ubale womwe unatha?

Kodi mukuganiza zomuuza kuti mukumva kuti simukugwirizana kapena kumuuza kuti mukupita kwina? Kodi mungatchule bwanji nkhaniyi? Ndipo mungatseke bwanji kusiyana kumeneku? Tikubweretsa mphunzitsi wa thanzi la maganizo ndi kusamala Pooja Priyamvada (wovomerezeka mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu pa nkhani monga zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, kusudzulana, kupatukana, chisoni, ndi kutayika, kuti agawane malingaliro ndi malangizo.

Kodi Kudzimva Kusokonekera Kumatanthauza Chiyani Mu Ubale?

Pooja akufotokoza kuti, "Kumva ngati simukugwirizana ndi mnzanu kumatanthauza kuti palibe kulankhulana ndipo m'modzi kapena onse awiri amaona kuti sakumvedwa kapena kumvedwa. Izi zitha kukhala chifukwa cha mtunda weniweni (womwe umatchedwanso ubale wautali ) kapena nthawi zina mtunda wamaganizo. Kusagwirizana kwa ubale kungamvekenso ngati palibe chisangalalo kapena chithumwa chomwe chatsala muubwenziwo."

zomwe zimayambitsa kusagwirizana mu maubwenzi

Inde, tikutsimikiza kuti mukukonda kwambiri mwamuna wanu. Zachidziwikire, lingaliro lakuti "Chifukwa chiyani ndimadzimva kuti ndilibe chibwenzi ndi mnzanga?" liyenera kuti likukuphani. "N'chiyani chinatichitikira, chikondi chathu?" simungathe kudziwa. Banja lililonse lili ndi mphamvu zake zapadera muubwenzi zomwe zimabweretsa mavuto osiyanasiyana muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, sitingathe kudziwa chifukwa chenicheni chomwe mumadzimvera kuti muli kutali komanso osagwirizana, koma tikhoza kukutsogolerani pazifukwa zomwe zingatheke.

Nkhani yofalitsidwa ndi Utah State University ikusonyeza kuti mtunda, kusagwirizana, kudziteteza, ndi mavuto a moyo watsiku ndi tsiku ndi zina mwa zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kusagwirizana kwa maganizo muubwenzi. Pooja akuti, "Kuleka kugwirizana kungakhale kwakuthupi, kwanzeru, kapena kwamaganizo." Chifukwa chake, musanadzifunse kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimadzimva kuti ndili kutali ndi mnzanga?", yang'anani mndandanda wathu wonse kuti mudziwe zinthu zazikulu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kusagwirizana:

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• Nthawi zina, okondedwa amatha kukhala kutali ndi thupi koma amamva kuti ali ogwirizana, ndipo nthawi zina, anthu omwe amakhala pamodzi amatha kukhala otalikirana komanso osagwirizana chifukwa cha nkhawa, matenda, kapena kupsinjika maganizo.
• Nthawi zina, mbali zina zonse zaubwenzi zitha kuchitika, koma okwatirana amatha kumva kuti sakugonana
• Chikhalidwe cha Hustle chimapangitsa anthu kukhala otanganidwa kwambiri masiku ano, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wosagwirizana
• Kusalankhulana kwatanthauzo ndi kumvetsera mwachidwi kungapangitse okondedwa kuti asiyane
• Nthawi zina, mikangano yosathetsedwa imakhala chifukwa chachikulu cha kutayika kwa kulumikizana uku, kumanga khoma la kudzikonda ndi mkwiyo.
• Kutaya mgwirizano mu ubale kumachitika kawirikawiri pamene anthu akukula ndi zomwe amaika patsogolo ndi momwe amawonera dziko likusintha

Malinga ndi wogwiritsa ntchito Quora , kusagwirizana kwa ubale kumachitika chifukwa chakuti, "Mwina, ubale wafika pachimake ndipo mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiye ndikupitiriza . Mwina, mwakula kuposa ubalewo. Mwina pakufunika kuti nonse awiri mulumikizanenso pochita zinthu zambiri limodzi. Chinthu chimodzi chotsimikizika ndichakuti kusagwirizana kwanu kumakhudzana kwambiri ndi inu kuposa momwe kumakhudzira mnzanu. Mwina mukukumana ndi vuto linalake ndipo kusagwirizana ndi chinthu chomwe inu nokha mungathe kukwaniritsa nokha."

Top 9 Zizindikiro Za Ubale Kusagwirizana

Wowerenga wathu Melissa wa ku Florida analemba kuti: “Ndimaona kuti ndili kutali ndi bwenzi langa. Chabwino, tikufuna kunena kuti ndi zachilendo, chifukwa zizindikiro za kusagwirizana mu chiyanjano zingakhale zobisika kwambiri nthawi zina. Kotero, ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe zimagwirizana ndi ubale wosagwirizana zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana? Nawu mndandanda watsatanetsatane:

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1. Mwasiya kugawana moyo wanu wina ndi mzake

Tsopano, ndi bwino kukhala ndi zinsinsi zina kuchokera kwa mnzanu wachikondi, kuti musunge chinsinsicho, komanso chifukwa zinthu zina sizili nkhani yawo! Koma kugawana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paubwenzi wabwino. Kaya ndi malingaliro, nthabwala zoipa, zosangalatsa, kapena akaunti ya Netflix, kudziwa kuti muli ndi mgwirizano womwe mumauzana zinthu zambiri kumakhala kotonthoza kwambiri.

Pamene mukumva kuti simunagwirizane ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, malo ogawana pakati pa awiriwa amafota. Mwina mumamva ngati ali kutali ndipo sakusamala kapena simukumva chitonthozo ndi chidaliro chofunikira kugawana nawo. Mumangokhalira kukhala ndi moyo wosiyana, wokondwa m'bwalo lanu, popanda kuyesetsa kukhazikitsa ubale weniweni ndi mnzanu.

2. Pali mikangano yambiri muubwenzi wanu

Mkangano wabwino ukhoza kukhala wopindulitsa paubwenzi, koma pali kusiyana pakati pa kuyeretsa chinsinsi ndi kuvulazana mwadala kapena kumenyana pa zinthu zazing'ono popanda chifukwa. Pa zizindikiro zonse za kusagwirizana muubwenzi, mikangano yambiri ndi yofunika kwambiri. Zimachitika pamene simukugwirizana pa chilichonse m'moyo ndipo moyo wonse wa mnzanuyo umakupangitsani kukhala wovuta nthawi zonse.

3. Inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mumamva kuti muli kutali m'maganizo

Ngati muli ndi malingaliro odandaula akuti "Sindikugwirizana ndi bwenzi langa," fufuzani nokha ndi malingaliro anu kapena kusowa kwake. Kutalikirana m'maganizo sikutanthauza kusowa kwa chikondi, koma kulephera kusonyeza chikondicho momwe wokondedwa wanu amafunira. Kudzimva kuti simukugwirizana ndi mnzanu nthawi zambiri kumatha chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa njira zomwe mumasonyezera chikondi kwa wina ndi mzake.

"Ndakhala pachibwenzi chakutali kwa zaka ziwiri. Zilankhulo zanga zazikulu zachikondi ndi kukhudza thupi ndi nthawi yabwino, ndipo palibe chilichonse chomwe chinakwaniritsidwa muubwenziwo. Moyo wathu wogonana unali wovuta ndipo tinasiya kukhala limodzi. Ngakhale pamene tinkalankhula, ndinkamva kuti ndili kutali naye kwambiri m'maganizo," akutero Rita, wazaka 31, yemwe ndi restaurant wochokera ku Nashville.

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4. Kusasamalirana ndi kuganizirana

Pamene mukumva kuti muli kutali ndi mnzanu, pali mwayi woti manja osamala omwe amakugwirizanitsani pamodzi masiku onsewa akusowa. Ubwenzi umakhazikika pakuchitana kwatsiku ndi tsiku ndi machitidwe achifundo ndi chisamaliro, kotero ngati sizikuchitika, ndizovuta kulimbikitsa malingaliro akuya omwe mudakhala nawo kwa wina ndi mzake.

Kutalikirana maganizo muubwenzi kungawonekere ngati nonsenu muli otopa kwambiri kapena osasamala. Ngati mnzanu salinso munthu amene mungamudalire kuti akutonthozeni pambuyo pa tsiku loipa, kapena ngati sakusamala za zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimakusangalatsani , izi zipanga kusiyana kwakukulu ndi kusagwirizana kwa ubale.

5. Kusagonana

Kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi sikungathe kuchepetsedwa. Ngati moyo wanu wogonana sulipo kapena palibe ubale weniweni, ndi chizindikiro chakuti ubale wanu suli wolimba monga kale. Kusakonda kugonana pambuyo pa kubereka kungapangitsenso kuti okwatirana awiri amve kuti ali kutali komanso osagwirizana.

Kudzimva kuti simunagwirizane ndi bwenzi lanu ndi malo ovuta kukhalamo. Lingaliro loyamba lomwe limabwera m'maganizo ndi lakuti wokondedwa wanu sakupezanso wokongola. Mungayambe kudabwa ngati ali ndi chibwenzi, kapena ganizirani za kusakhulupirika.

6. Mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa zimalamulira ubale wanu

Sitikuganiza kuti maubwenzi amapangidwa ndi mpweya wa unicorn, utawaleza, ndi gossamer. Pali mitundu yonse ya malingaliro oyipa omwe amayamba - nsanje, mkwiyo, kudziwononga, etc. Koma, makamaka, ubale wachikondi umafunika kubweretsa chisangalalo nthawi zambiri ndikukupangitsani kuti mukhale osangalala.

Ngati malingaliro anu achizolowezi pa wina ndi mnzake ndi mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa, gawo lotsatira lidzakhala kudzipatula muubwenzi wanu. Ndipotu, ndani amene akufuna kukhalabe ndi malingaliro oipa nthawi zonse? Kumva kuti simukugwirizana ndi mnzanu nthawi zambiri kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi mkwiyo nthawi zonse, kusowa chochita, ndi kukhumudwa.

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7. Mumapitiriza kufunafuna njira zothawirako

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za ubale wosagwirizana ndikuti inu ndi mnzanu mumayang'ana chitonthozo ndi chisangalalo kwinakwake osati wina ndi mnzake. Mungakonde kukhala muofesi mochedwa m’malo mocheza nawo. Mumacheza m'magulu osiyanasiyana. Tanthauzo lanu la zosangalatsa ndi kudzisamalira tsopano zasiyana kwambiri.

Makambirano akuya omwe munkakambirana pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu asintha n’kupita kwa mnzanu kapena wachibale wanu amene ndi mnzanu watsopano. Mfundo yakuti mumayesetsa kupewa kusokonezana ikusonyeza kuti palibe mgwirizano wamaganizo.

8. Kupanda kuyesetsa mu ubale kuchokera mbali zonse

“N’chifukwa chiyani ndimamva ngati sindikugwirizana ndi mnzanga?” Mumadzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndimamva ngati ndilibe chibwenzi?” Yankho lake nthawi zambiri limakhala loti palibe chilichonse chomwe chimachitika muubwenzi kuchokera kwa aliyense wa iwo kapena onse awiri. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti khama limakhala ndi gawo lalikulu pa kukhutitsidwa ndi kukhazikika kwa ubale. Kupatukana n’kofala pamene m’modzi kapena onse awiri sangathe kupeza mphamvu zopitirizira mgwirizano.

Mwina ndinu wotopa kwambiri moti simungaganize zomuuza kuti simukugwirizana nazo. Mwinamwake iye amangoyesa kukuyang'anani bwino, osasiyapo kukambirana zakuya ndi inu. Kudzimva kuti simukugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo kungayambike chifukwa chosowa khama, chifukwa maubwenzi onse ndi okhudza kuika ntchito.

9. Simukamba za m’tsogolo

Mukukumbukira, panali nthawi yomwe munkatha kukambirana usiku wonse mukukambirana za tsogolo labwino kwambiri ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu? Ukwati wakunja, nyumba yowoneka bwino paki, kuyenda padziko lonse lapansi limodzi - munkaoneka kuti muli ndi maganizo ofanana okhudza momwe tsogolo lanu lidzakhalire.

Ndipo tsopano pakhala masiku, chani miyezi mutaphwanya mutuwo. Simukumva kukhudzidwa komwe mudamvapo kale, ndipo mnzanuyo samamva chikhumbo chotenga ubalewu kupita pamlingo wina. Zimakhala ngati nonse muli paulendo wanu ndipo mabwato anu akuyenda motalikirana. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu cha kutha kwa ubale.

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Kodi Ndingamuuze Bwanji Okondedwa Wanga Kuti Sindikumva Kugwirizana?

Kwa wina amene akuganiza kuti “Ndimaona kuti ndili kutali ndi bwenzi langa lachibwenzi,” timati palibe ntchito kumenya patchire. M’malo molola kuti maganizo anu asokonezeke ndi kupeŵa kukangana, kapena kudabwa chochita mukakhala kutali ndi mnzanuyo, choyamba yesani kupeza mmene mnzanuyo akumvera pa nkhani yonseyo ndi kumuuza za mkhalidwe wanu wamaganizo.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Quora akutiuza ndipo ife tikuvomereza kuti, “Khalani ndi kukambirana momasuka komanso moona mtima za momwe mukumvera za njira ya ubale wanu. Tsimikizani kuti nonse muli okonzeka kuti zinthu ziyende bwino. Yesani kuti mupeze zilankhulo zanu zonse ziwiri zachikondi kuti zikuthandizeni kuzindikira momwe mungayambitsirenso chikondi chimenecho.

“Kugonana kopanda kugonana kungathandize kulimbikitsa ndi kuyambiranso zibwenzi. Apanso, onetsetsani kuti nonse mulipo kuti mukhalebe. Malinga ndi Pooja, "Palibe njira yosavuta yoperekera izi kwa mnzanu." Ali ndi malangizo amomwe angachepetse nkhonya, komabe. Nawa akupita:

• Khalani odekha ndi okoma mtima: Palibe chifukwa cholimbikira ndikukhala ndi machesi akukuwa pano. Mukuyesera (mwachiyembekezo) kukhazikitsa kapena kuyambiranso kulumikizana pano, ndipo kutukwana kwanu komanso mawu okweza sikungathetse kalikonse.
• Gwiritsani ntchito 'ife' m'malo mwa 'inu': Kutaya mgwirizano muubwenzi sikumakhala njira imodzi yokha, ndipo kupanga zonse zokhudza wokondedwa wanu sikuthandiza. Mawu onga akuti “Simunachite izi” ndi “Simukundimvetsa” angasokoneze mnzanuyo. Ngati mwadzidzidzi mukumva kuti simukugwirizana ndi mnzanu, pangani za 'ife', osati 'inu'
• Ipangitseni kukhala nkhani yogwirizana kuti muthetse, osati masewera olakwa: Kumbukirani, simunabwere kudzadzudzula mnzanuyo. The kusunthitsa mlandu masewera sapanga ubale wathanzi. Choncho khalani kutali ndi izo. Kusokonekera mu ubale kumatha kukonzedwa. Koma nthawi zonse kumuuza mnzanuyo kuti zonse ndi vuto lawo sikuthandiza ndi ubale wosagwirizana
• Khalani owona mtima: Ngati mukuona kuti simukukhala limodzi nthawi yabwino kapena kuti ubwenzi wanu suli wolimba ngati kale, muuzeni mnzanuyo. Kusakhala ndi misana ndi chizindikiro cha kutha kwa ubale, koma kukhulupirika m'malingaliro kumathandizira kwambiri machiritso.
• Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi: Mwinamwake mumadzimva kukhala kutali ndi mnzanuyo, koma sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala nokha kulankhula. Apatseni nthawi ndi malo kuti ayankhe mukawauza momwe mukumvera ndikumvetsera, mvetserani kwenikweni

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Chabwino, tili ndi zidziwitso zakusokonekera muubwenzi ndi momwe mungapangire malingaliro anu kunja uko. Koma, mumakonza bwanji kumverera kowopsa kopanda kulumikizana kwakuthupi kapena m'malingaliro ndi mnzanu mulimonse? Osawopa, tili ndi nsana wanu.

1. Yang'anani nthawi zambiri

Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungabwererenso ndi mnzanu, choyamba ndikubwera. "N'zosavuta muubwenzi wautali kuiwala zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimapangitsa ukwati kukhala wolimba , monga kungofunsana momwe mulili," akutero Pooja. "Tsiku lanu linali bwanji, wokondedwa?" tsopano lakhala nthabwala yoyenera kujambulidwa, koma zoona zake, ndikofunikira kufunsa mnzanu tsiku ndi tsiku.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akutikumbutsa za chinthu chofunikira kwambiri cholimbikitsa mgwirizano muubwenzi: "Nthawi zina pamene malingaliro salipo, ndi chifukwa choyambitsa zochita zomwe zimabwera ndi malingaliro. Kodi nthawi yomaliza yomwe inu nonse munasankha kuchita chinachake chachikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake inali liti? Kodi nthawi yomaliza yomwe munatenga nthawi kuti winayo amve wapadera kapena wokongola kapena wokondedwa ndi liti? Ndikutsimikiza kuti nonse mumasamalana kwambiri ndipo mwazolowera kudziwana bwino komanso kukondana, koma kodi mwamuuza momwe amaonekera bwino mu malaya amenewo posachedwapa?" Pachifukwa chimenecho, mutha kuyesa izi:

• Afunseni momwe akuchitira
• Kumbukirani chinachake chimene iwo ankada nkhawa nacho ndi kuchitsatira
• Ngati mulibe nthawi yocheza nawo, apatseni kukumbatirana ndi kumpsompsona
• Adziwitseni kuti mwawathandizira komanso kuti mumawaganizira, kuti asamve ngati atalikirana ndi mnzawo.

2. Pezani njira zowonetsera chikondi chanu ndi kuyamikira

Palibe amene ananenapo kuti ubale ndi njira yophweka. Zimafunika khama lalikulu kuti zinthu ziyende bwino komanso kusankha mawu oyenera kuti mufotokoze momwe mukumvera . Ndipo zomwe zikuchitikazo zimabwerezedwanso, tsiku lililonse, bola ngati muli limodzi. N'zosavuta kugwa mumsampha wotopetsa wa moyo, ndichifukwa chake nayi chikumbutso chofatsa choti mudzuke, mupite kuchipinda china, ndikuuza chibwenzi chanu/chibwenzi/mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu momwe amakukhudzirani. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire izi:

• Kuti mupangenso kulumikizana kozama, manja ena ndi ofunikira mbali zonse ziwiri, ndipo siziyenera kukhala zazikulu, zachikondi.
• Ingonenani kuti "Ndimakukondani" kamodzi patsiku ndikusiyirana zolemba zabwino pafiriji
• Bweretsani maluwa kapena kuwaphikira chakudya chapadera
• Yamikirani ndi kuthokoza wokondedwa wanu nthawi iliyonse akachita khama kapena kukuchitirani zabwino
• Kumvetsetsa zilankhulo zachikondi za wina ndi mnzake kuti mufotokozere chikondi chanu momveka bwino
• Kukhala wachifundo, wachikondi, ndi wosamala kudzakuthandizani kuyandikirana pang’onopang’ono, m’maganizo, ndi mwakuthupi

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3. Konzani masiku amasiku

Timakonda dongosolo labwino lokhala ndi chibwenzi. "Ndinkamva ngati sindinali ndi mnzanga mwana wathu atabadwa ndipo ndinayamba kuganizira kwambiri za kusakondana muukwati," akutero Jesse, wazaka 29, wojambula zithunzi wochokera ku Ohio. "Titangoyamba kukonzekera malingaliro a chibwenzi , tinakhala ndi nthawi yochepa tokha ndipo zinasintha kwambiri." Ngati mwakhala mukumva kuti chibwenzi chanu sichikugwirizana, pali mwayi waukulu kuti simukuthera nthawi limodzi. Chifukwa chake, mutha kuyesa izi:

• Pitani patsogolo ndikukhala ndi masiku okhazikika
• Sungitsani tebulo pamalo odyera atsopanowo
• Sankhani kanema kapena pulogalamu yomwe mukufuna kuwonera kwambiri ndikugumbana pampando
• Khalani ndi pikiniki kapena konzani kukwera panjira yokongola kwambiri - zotheka ndizosatha

4. Kongoletsani zinthu kuchipinda

Kodi mupitiliza kuonera pa Google kuti, “Momwe mungalumikizanenso ndi mnzanu pabedi”? Kumva ngati simukugwirizana ndi mnzanu kungakhale koopsa kwambiri ndipo kumakupangitsani kukayikira chilichonse. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti kusowa kwa kulumikizana kwamalingaliro kungayambitse kusiyana kwa okwatirana kuposa kusakhala ndi mwayi wopezana ndi munthu wina. Koma ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri mumatha kupeza akazi akugona pansi, “Ndikumva ngati sindikugwirizana ndi mwamuna wanga,” sitingakane kufunika kolumikizananso mwakuthupi, mofanana ndi kugwirizana kwamaganizo ndi nzeru muubwenzi. Ngati mnzanu sakumva kuyandikana mwakuthupi, nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kulumikizana pamlingo wina uliwonse. Ndipo yankho lili pakukonzanso moyo wanu wogonana. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire izi:

• Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu za zinthu zatsopano zomwe mungayesere kuchipinda. Zitha kukhala ukapolo, kuwonera zolaula limodzi, zoseweretsa zogonana, kapena maudindo osiyanasiyana
• M'pofunikanso kuganizira kwambiri kugonana kosagonana. Kupsompsona pamphumi, kukumbatirana kwautali, kwansangala, kugwirana manja, ndi zina zotero kungakhale kwapamtima, ngati sichoncho.
• Dziwonetseni nokha chikondi (inde, tikutanthauza zoseweretsa zogonana, komanso njira zina zodzisamalira). Dzikumbutseni kuti monga munthu wogonana, muyenera kusangalala ndi chimwemwe
• Mwina mutha kusamba momasuka ndikudzipukuta mofatsa ndi kutikita minofu. Zidzakupatsani mwayi wofufuza thupi lanu ndi mfundo zosangalatsa nokha
• Mutha kukhalanso ndi nthawi yosamalira ziwalo zanu zapamtima kapena kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi monga kegel kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino pakugonana.

5. Khalani ndi zokambirana zovuta

Mukudabwa momwe mungalumikizirenso ndi mnzanu? Chabwino, pamene mukumva kusagwirizana ndi mnzanu, zingakhale zoopsa kuziyika m'mawu. Simudziwa momwe wokondedwa wanu amakumverani ndipo mungakhale ndi nkhawa kuti chibwenzi chanu chatha. Mwina, mukuganiza kuti ngati munyalanyaza izo, zichoka. Tsopano, ndimasangalala ndikudzikana ndekha, koma ndikhulupirireni, sizigwira ntchito mu maubwenzi, makamaka ngati zinthu zavuta kale ndipo kugwirizana kwapakati pakati pa awiriwa kwatha. Umu ndi momwe mungakonzere izi:

• Chinthu choyamba chochepetsera ubale wosagwirizana ndikukumana nacho. Khalani ndi zokambirana zoyamba zovuta kwambiri (tinakambirana momwe mungachitire)
• Osazipewa. Osachiyimitsa. Kaya zotulukapo zake zikhale zotani, ndi bwino kusiyana ndi kukhala mu limbo
• Mosamala kunyalanyaza mzake kapena kupereka kuchitira chete si njira yoyenera kuchita ngati mukufunadi kukhazikitsa maubwenzi abwino ndi mnzanuyo
• Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi ndikukhala ndi maganizo omasuka pa kuvomereza mbali ina ya nkhaniyo

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6. Yendani limodzi

Kutopa, kuchita zinthu mwachizolowezi, kungokhala chete - izi nthawi zambiri ndi zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala kutali ndi mnzanu kapena kuziona ngati zosafunika kwenikweni. Mukayesa kumanganso maziko a ubale kuyambira pachiyambi, ndibwino kuti mupumule ku moyo womwe unkakukankhirani kutali kwambiri. Pitani kugombe, pitani kumapiri, pitani kukagona m'misasa - inu nonse awiri. Vinyo, chakudya chabwino, kukambirana mozama , ndi kukumbatirana kwambiri - zidzabwezeretsa chikondi chomwe chinali mumtima mwanu kwa wokondedwa wanu.

7. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Kufunafuna upangiri wa akatswiri ndi njira imodzi yabwino kwambiri yodzikonda , timaganiza. Monga anthu, tonsefe timakumana ndi zofooka, ndipo palibe manyazi kupempha thandizo lomwe tikulifuna kwambiri. Kulankhula ndi katswiri wa za mabanja, kaya nokha kapena ngati banja, kumakupatsani malo otetezeka oti muthetse malingaliro anu onse osokonezeka ndikupeza njira yopezera kumveka bwino komanso kapangidwe kake.

Uphungu wa ubale ndi njira yabwino yofufuzira mozama ndikupeza komwe kwayambitsa kusagwirizana kwa ubalewu pamene mukukhala oona mtima kwa inu nokha ndi mnzanu. Ngati mnzanu sakumva kuti muli paubwenzi, thandizo nthawi zonse limalandiridwa. Ngati mukufuna mlangizi woyenerera komanso wachifundo, kumbukirani kuti gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito la Bonobology lili pafupi.

Monga tanenera, si zachilendo kusiya chibwenzi, koma kuuza wokondedwa wanu kuti simukugwirizana nazo kungakulepheretseni kukhala ndi nkhawa. Pamene okondedwa samva kuyandikana mu ubale, khama pang'ono, nthawi, ndi kuona mtima zingagwire ntchito zodabwitsa. Kusagwirizana sikungokhudza kusagwirizana kwa wina ndi mzake, komanso kusayesetsa.

Ngati nthawi zonse mumadziuza kuti, "Ndili wosiyana kwambiri ndi bwenzi langa / bwenzi langa," ndipo mukufuna kugwira ntchitoyo ndikukonza zinthu, zipewani. Koma kumbukirani, nthawi zina maulumikizidwe amalekanitsidwa pazifukwa, ndipo si maubwenzi onse omwe angathe kukhazikitsidwa. Ndipo izo ziri bwino, aponso.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.