What is sexual liberation? Is it the blatant reclaiming of our bodies? Or the widespread hookup culture? Or is it the idea of being unabashed about your sexual needs? The sexual liberation definition is constantly evolving with the change in culture and the introduction of new ideas. Every day seems like a sexual revolution, and in a good way.
Sexual Liberation In India
When I was a teenager some 40 years ago, I would peep from behind a window curtain for a glance of my first crush – an NDA cadet on his once-a-month visit home. I never dared to speak to him or even acknowledge his existence or express that I liked him. That is how socially and sexually restricted we were. Sexual freedom? Well, it seemed like a distant dream back then.
The youth of today not only have all the freedom they desire but also the technology to assist this openness in society. Sexual liberation is new and phenomenal, evolving each day with the changing dynamics of a new world order. With the Internet, Facebook, SMS, Instagram, mobiles and Tinder, a new universe of possibilities has emerged; of information, exploration and freedom to be your own sexual person.
I have a classmate who looks at his teenage children and wistfully wishes he were born in this era, because of the degree of free will and sexual liberation this generation enjoys. Once my son, who was studying in Class 9, accosted me a little sheepishly and said, “because of the freedom you have given us, we are still virgins.”
He claimed that all his friends had already indulged in sexual adventures. Sexual liberation is a good thing but it has its nuances. One should have sexual freedom, yes, but one also has to use it very carefully. So I gave him some tips on what he could do and not do. Here are some:
1. Never force yourself on any girl, however eager she seems
Sexual liberation definition does not mean one can simply demand sex whenever they want. A sexual revolution is underway but this does not give you a leeway to break rules. Every party has some girls who have had too much to drink or smoke and seem very keen on casual sex. And usually, they drag a friend or two; it seems like too great an opportunity to miss out on.
Under the influence, there are many things girls may want to do and then regret after the hangover the next day. Then the allegations fly and you will look foolish and definitely regret your premature decisions and actions.
2. Never be a party to any deceptive move
Not all boys and girls may have a liberal upbringing. When they see girls are drinking, some rather pervert boys may challenge you to spike a girl’s drink to have her completely at your mercy. This is not only criminal, it is a really sad way to express your sexual freedom. As soon as they were teenagers, I encouraged my children to bring their love interests home and would take my car out and go for a coffee break to give them some privacy.
What is sexual liberation? Definitely not tricking someone into having sex with you. Being open with my children not only made them free from falling for the wrong “mate” but they also did not need to sneak around to find a safe place for their romantic antics!
That way I also got to meet their current crush. They have never taken my liberal nature for granted. Sexual freedom is also about being open and honest with those that know better so that their counsel and advice can help you make better, informed decisions.
3. Unprotected sex is not sexual liberation
In my days, we were petrified of premarital sex, not because the opportunity did not present itself but because the huge danger of getting pregnant was monstrous. One of the biggest things that can go wrong during sex is not using a condom. There was no iPill then, and it was so embarrassing for young people to ask for condoms at a chemist’s store.
Now, my son nonchalantly tosses a packet of his fave condoms into my shopping basket at Health n Glow. My daughter is more reticent and has stuck to just one mate, so I guess she has it all sorted. The dangers of pregnancy may be slim now but STDs are hovering on the horizon. Most may have treatments in the present time, yet is a hell to go through. Hence the importance of protection cannot be emphasized enough.
4. Abuse and violence is a NO-NO
The media, movies, and books like Fifty Shades of Grey seem to promote abusive sex and violence as sexual preferences and I cannot tolerate this attitude. Of course that the partner is consenting and enjoys it is all-fine – but safe word or not, it is a dangerous game to play. It can not only be fatal in some cases but can result in strong mental and emotional damage.
5. Don’t cheat on your current partner
A lot of people are pro-infidelity, and as such, I do not disagree. If the person has a low quotient of personal values they may go ahead and do so. But infidelity is a classic manifestation of the ‘eating your cake and having it too’ mindset.
If you find that there is a great disconnect with your current partner at many levels, then you must have the courage to break up and move on. Staying in a relationship for the comforts it offers you while slyly enjoy sex outside of it is plain mean. Not only are you cheating on your partner, but you are also taking away their power to decide whether they should stay with you or not.
Sexual freedom is a great feature for the youth today, but an excess of anything can be harmful and painful. It is important for each of us to develop a moral compass and decide where to draw the line. Freedom is not enjoyable if you don’t know your boundaries.