How beautiful would life be if we were all blessed with harmonious relationships! You know the kind that is selfless, nurturing and giving. Where there is no tussle of egos and power play. Just you and the other person fitting in like a hand in a glove.
Unfortunately, not many of us can stake our claim as a harmonious person. When harmony isn’t an inherent trait, it is difficult to build relationships that flow seamlessly, like a river rushing to the sea. As a result, we find ourselves caught in a string of relationships that are conflicted, stale, troubled or toxic.
Thankfully, there are ways to let go of this negativity and build holistic, harmonious relationships. But that requires change, and to be able to brace yourself for that change, you need to first understand why are harmonious relationships important.
Once you understand the importance of harmonious relationships you would want to build and maintain a harmonious relationship. But how to have a harmonious relationship? Let us tell you.
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What Is A Harmonious Relationship?
Harmonious is defined as “things that go well together or people that get along well.” A harmonious person is someone who is easy going and has an innate ability to get along well with others. In the context of relationships, it can be described as a bond between two people where there are rarely any fights, clashes or ego tussles.
As human beings, a need for building connections with others is one of our primal needs. Something that we long and hunger for. Food for our soul, if you will. These connections can be described as harmonious when they inspire us, make us feel alive and yet at peace, and drive us to connect on a deeper, spiritual level.
Why are harmonious relationships important to us? For the simple reason that they are the driving force behind a balanced and healthy life.
Such relationships are the foundation of connection, friendship, love, companionship and sexual intimacy – something that we all need to grow and thrive as individuals.
Have you ever been in love with someone whose mere presence made your life brimming over with peace and goodness? And have you been with someone whose presence shattered your self-confidence and sapped out the last ounce of strength from your being?
That is what differentiates harmonious relationships from unhealthy ones. While one creates an environment where both partners can grow and thrive, the other becomes an overwhelming negative presence that pulls you under.
It’s vital to move away from conflict and toward harmony in your relationship, as a lack of it can affect your mental and physical health.
Partners can begin to experience anger, stress, frustration, hopelessness, anxiety and depression. This negativity can spill over to your professional life and other personal relationships too.
9 Tips To Build Harmonious Relationships
Do you feel there is no harmony in your relationship? Or do you miss feeling peaceful in a relationship? Have you and your partner been at loggerheads more often than not? Are you living with a sinking feeling that conflict resolution isn’t your strongest suit as a couple? Have you been wondering how to have a harmonious relationship?
Being in an unhappy marriage or feeling discontent in a relationship can be an overwhelming and distressing experience. But that does not mean all hope is lost. These 9 effective tips can help you break the circle of negativity and build a harmonious relationship.
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1. Be the best version of yourself
While it’s true that it takes two to tango, building a good relationship has also got a lot to do with your state of mind. If you get into a relationship looking for a partner to compensate for a certain emptiness, you’re bound to be met with disappointment.
This disappointment can then channelize into challenges and difficulties in your relationship too. The key to feeling peaceful in a relationship is to be at peace with yourself first. So, the work to build harmonious relationships begins with oneself.
You have to be the bearer of harmony that you wish to cultivate in your relationship. Don’t place the onus of it on your partner. Instead, make your relationship a peaceful, harmonious panacea by fixing what’s broken at your end.
Your partner will soon find a way to follow your lead even without realizing it.
2. Embrace acceptance to build a harmonious relationship
Resistance and harmony simply cannot co-exist. When you resist the current order of things or change, you are effectively blocking out any scope of harmony in your relationship.
Resistance can manifest in the form of criticizing your partner for their habits and traits or how they behave in a relationship. Or pestering them to change who they are. This is bound to lead to tension, which pave way for negativity.
By moving from resistance towards acceptance, you lay the groundwork for building a harmonious relationship. If you’ve chosen someone as your partner, you have to accept them for who they are. And not turn them into your version of an ideal partner. That’s how you can build and maintain a harmonious relationship.
Give them space to grow at their own pace, consciously making an effort to accept them as they are throughout your journey, and you’ll see your relationship transform.
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3. Let go of pent up hurt and negativity
Sometimes the inability to build harmonious relationships can be attributed to the baggage of the past. Perhaps your partner did something that has hurt you immensely. However, instead of processing this hurt and finding a way to heal, you decided to bottle up and move on.
Let’s say, your partner cheated on you once. You chose to give them another and stay on but could never really forgive them. It is only natural that the anger, resentment or hurt you’re holding inside will manifest in some form of negativity.
Maybe you’ve become distant or have trouble being intimate with your partner. Perhaps, you can’t help but drop snide remarks now and then. In such a situation, no harmony in a relationship is a given. You have to find a way to process and let go of your hurt to be able to foster harmony in your relationship.
If you’re struggling on the front, going into therapy or talking to a trained counsellor can help.
4. Compassion builds close and harmonious relationships
If you want to build a close and harmonious relationship, you have to internalize gentleness and compassion, as an individual and as a couple. These two elements can deepen your connection with your partner. When you approach any topic or issue with gentleness, you naturally respond with empathy rather than jumping to conclusions. This facilitates open communication, free of assumptions and inhibitions.
Similarly, compassion enables you to view the other’s perspective, position and individual circumstances with kindness. This places you in a position to give your partner the space to process their emotions and thoughts at their own pace.
When there is compassion and gentleness in a relationship, any issue – no matter how touchy – can be handled without heated arguments or raging conflict.
It teaches you how to choose love over fear, and that paves way for harmony in a relationship.
5. Free yourself from stringent expectations
The unsaid standard of things you want your partner to do in the relationship can take a toll on your equation as a couple, if not kept in check. While it is natural to expect some things of your partner, these expectations must not be set in stone. Simply because unmet expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment, hurt and anger. You end up saying hurtful things when your expectations are not met.
Instead of holding your partner to the standards of your expectations, allow them to be their own person and appreciate what they bring to the relationship.
For instance, let’s say you expect your partner to plan an exotic candlelight dinner or buy you an exotic gift for your anniversary. But instead, they book an overnight stay at a quaint BnB.
Instead of sulking over things not panning out a certain way, try to enjoy the setting you’re in. Appreciate the effort they have made even if it is not what you expected.
By letting go of your expectations, you create space for new experiences. That can give you a newfound appreciation for your SO and your relationship.
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6. Give and seek space in your relationship
Personal space is one of the most underrated elements of feeling peaceful in a relationship. Often couples get so caught up in the ecstasy of having found one another that they tend to become tethered together at all times. It’s like you’re living in a permanent embrace.
While that can seem exciting and comforting at first, soon this together-forever approach can leave either one or both of you feeling suffocated. Every individual needs their own space to catch a breather, reflect, unwind, rejuvenate and grow. This need does not in any way reflect a problem in your relationship.
On the contrary, personal space between couples is the hallmark of a healthy bond. To build harmonious relationships, you must dismantle that joint-at-the-hip approach to couple dynamics.
7. Prioritize honest communication
Clear and honest communication is a pre-requisite to building harmonious relationships, as it facilitates better understanding. Communication doesn’t just pertain to your choice of words. Your tone, expressions and body language also play a vital role in dressing up a message.
You must learn, as a couple, to communicate in a manner that your words don’t get misconstrued, leading to misunderstandings and arguments. The idea of honest and clear communication is not to seek a 100 per cent agreement on everything. But to understand each other’s perspectives and learn to accept them even when you don’t agree with them.
8. Shun ego to build harmonious relationships
Where ego exists, harmony simply cannot. Ego clashes are the root cause of so many relationship problems and conflicts. Be it giving your partner the silent treatment or withholding sex as a way of punishing them, the inability to accept your mistakes or stubbornness to always do things your way – all of these are manifestations of ego.
As you can see, these are not components of a healthy relationship. By removing ego from your relationship dynamics, you allow yourself to be more flexible and accommodating. For anyone who’s been wondering how to have a harmonious relationship, this can be a solid starting point.
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9. Ditch the blame game too
It is a lot easier to blame another person for all your problems rather than look within and explore how your shortcomings or flaws may be contributing to a situation. However, accepting blame is not nearly half as easy. When you criticize or blame your partner for your relationship problems, you inevitably open the door for discord.
They’re bound to give it back by placing the blame on to you. And you’re caught in a vicious cycle of blame-shifting. So, break free from this tendency with some introspection. Ask yourself, ‘why am I triggered by this?’ rather than ‘why did he/she do this?’
A harmonious relationship needs sustained effort and nurturing. You can neither infuse harmony into relationships overnight nor can you expect that once achieved it’ll last forever. But the importance of building a harmonious relationships lies in that fact that it brings peace and hope, it is every bit worth the effort.
The key for a harmonious relationship is building a relationship that is food for our soul. These connections can be described as harmonious when they inspire us, make us feel alive and yet at peace, and drive us to connect on a deeper, spiritual level.
You have to be the bearer of harmony that you wish to cultivate in your relationship. Don’t place the onus of it on your partner or indulge in blame-shifting. Instead, make your relationship a peaceful, harmonious panacea by fixing what’s broken at your end.
You cannot protect your feelings against hurt but in case you get hurt it’s important to process the hurt and not bottle it up and become distant from your partner.
When you approach any topic or issue with gentleness, you naturally respond with empathy rather than jumping to conclusions. This facilitates open communication, free of assumptions and inhibitions which is important in building a harmonious relationship. Your tone, expressions and body language also play a vital role in communication.