Haven’t we all dreamt of finding that special someone who is perfect for us and will make us swoon, like in the movies? But as we grow up, we realise that infatuation like this sometimes comes with an expiry date. It’s more important for a couple to experience some characteristics of a healthy relationship while dating for the relationship to last.
And who said you can’t be head-over-heels in love in a healthy relationship? In fact, a healthy relationship is the real reflection of true love that cannot be tainted because of its purity.
Everyone tells us that love isn’t easy and will always hurt. But have those people ever even been in a healthy relationship? No relationship is a cakewalk but it’s just so much easier being with a non-toxic person. You struggle less, love more and become a more wholesome and happy person.
There are qualities you want in your life partner that help you define a good relationship. A happy healthy relationship will have healthy communication methods and your partner will value your personal relationship and make efforts to strengthen the relationship.
How Do You Define A Healthy Relationship?
“A healthy relationship is one in which love enriches you; not imprisons you.”
This is definitely one of the best definitions of healthy relationships out there. You know you are in a healthy relationship when it enriches you, grows you, makes you a better person. If you’re wondering what to look for in a partner for life, look to share a healthy relationship with him/her.
If you can see the characteristics of a healthy relationship in your relationship, you have found the one.
Find out if you are in a happy, healthy relationship with your partner with this healthy relationships quiz!
A healthy relationship is the definition of real love. Read on to find the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
Wendy and Steve (name changed) who have been married for 5 years, believe they have a healthy relationship because they support each other – from the chores to career decisions – they want each other to fly. They feel they both are caring and are concerned but never controlling.
They believe they are extremely sexually compatible and at the same time enjoy the dates and intellectual conversations and the companionship. “Even when we have conflict we settle it amicably. There are no loopholes in our relationship, it’s rock solid,” said Wendy.
15 Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship
You can see the ideal partner qualities in your boyfriend/girlfriend but still need to be certain they are the one? Is your relationship adding more to your life in terms of well-being and happiness?
Life Coach Joie Bose says, “A healthy relationship is one where there is transparency. Its not unnatural to have crushes outside a relationship but if the partners begin hiding that, then the entire crush becomes a secret and this has a tendency to lead to more serious problems that totally harms the relationship.
“However if one partner can confess of the attraction without the fear of facing dire consequences, then the other partner needs to respect that honesty and not shame the other. Suddenly getting a crush is not something one can help, nor is it criminal. So one needs to accept it. Many people have many ways of dealing with it – humour is one.”
Joie further elucidates and says a healthy relationship is one where irrespective of whether you are fat or thin or bald or so many other things, your presence makes your partner smile. Just a goofy smile without any reason.
“A healthy relationship is one where despite arguments you hug each other and kiss before sleeping. No matter what. In a healthy relationship you can go out and make friends without your partners approval, with people your partner may not like,” she adds.
If these characteristics of a healthy relationship define your relationship, you can finally be sure.
1. You express your opinions freely and are honest with each other
One of the signs of a good relationship and indisputable characteristic of a healthy relationship is when you both express your opinions without fear of judgment.
Amongst the many benefits of a healthy relationship, one is the fact that you can rely on your partner to always be honest with you. You’re not afraid of being honest because you know your views will be respected and valuable opinions appreciated.
If a guy has been hitting on you at office you can laugh about it with your partner, maybe even take his advice on warding him off.
But you are sure that your partner will take the whole thing in a good spirit and not become overtly jealous about it. That’s the sign of a healthy relationship.
2. There is trust in your relationship
Both of you are secure in your relationship because you trust each other. Trust is one of the most important pillars of a healthy relationship and if you feel like one of you has trust issues, then maybe your relationship isn’t that healthy.
Jealousy, insecurity, control and over possessiveness in a relationship are a recipe for disaster. They all arise out of lack of trust almost always ruin a relationship. Therefore, if your relationship is free from these, and you trust each other wholly, it is one of the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
And no, when it comes to trust, you cannot leave your weaknesses behind. If you trust your partner with your weaknesses, and if he accepts the vulnerabilities, without resorting to making you feel so, then your relationship is definitely healthy.
3. You take care of each other
Be it your mental health or your physical, you take care of both. You’re there for each other through sickness and health, literally. You do your best to comfort each other through the tough times.
You may not be able to fix the problems, but you sure are there with your unwavering support, affection and love. You are concerned about what is going on with your partner and one of the characterstics of a healthy relationship is to be able to listen to their feelings, without really saying much.
Even on regular days, you’re always there for each other and show how much you care through little gestures that are special to you both. Like maybe just stroking your hair if you can’t fall asleep or waking you up with coffee, made just the way you like it shows how much you both care for each other. You show your love to each other not just on the best days, but also through the worst.
Related Reading: 12 Signs Of Unconditional Love In A Relationship
4. You give each other space
Although you both are super close and comfortable in your relationship, there is still adequate personal space. You’re not clingy and don’t feel the need to be in each other’s business all the time.
Space is important in a relationship and the fact that you both give each other personal space signifies that you are secure as a couple and space does not threaten you. One of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship.
If you’re wondering what to look for in a partner for life, this is it. Space strengthens a relationship and the right amount of space is what constitutes a strong relationship.
5. There is mutual respect in the relationship
Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized “~ Albert Einstein
You mutually respect each other without putting each other on a pedestal. Opinions, views, likes, dislikes, preferences, emotions and moods, are all respected in your relationship.
Often, unhealthy relationships are characterised by a lack of respect which makes one or both of the partners feel inadequate. But when you’re in a secure and healthy relationship, the love and respect will be very palpable.
This is one of the signs of a good relationship and also one of the benefits of a healthy relationship. Especially if you’re a woman, this is one of the qualities to look for in a husband. If you value your personal relationship you build on respect and that is vital for a strong relationship.
6. Constructive criticism is appreciated
Since you’re honest and open in the relationship, you view constructive criticism in a more holistic manner. You don’t chide each other, or call out on each other’s flaws.
Instead, you give each other constructive criticism and make each other better and not to hurt each other’s feelings. There is a fine line between constructive criticism and scathing criticism that people in healthy relationship know how not to cross.
People never indulge in any kind of negging in a healthy relationship, instead if they have to criticise they would do it but at the same time they would ensure they are not hurting their partner. This defines a good relationship.
7. Yes, you fight but you always make up
Fighting is normal in any relationship and also inevitable. It’s how you deal with the fight and how you make up after a fight that makes your relationship toxic or healthy.
Do you say hurtful things to each other, play the blame game, give each other the silent treatment and then finally get sick of fighting without actually resolving your issues?
Related Reading: 5 Ways Blame-Shifting In Relationship Harms It
Or do you have a disagreement and then have an open conversation about your issues and then strive to solve them out? You also apologise to each other for good measure in case someone got hurt.
If you relate to the latter, congratulations, this is one of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship.
8. What’s important to them is automatically important to you
When you’re in a healthy relationship, things or people that are important to your better half are also important to you. And this is not forced. This is a characteristic of a strong relationship.
Sure, you do put in the effort to find out more about the things that matter to them but the urge to do so comes naturally. This is because you care about each other infinitely.
You make an effort to be friends with their friends and be close to their family and also keep track of their interests and hobbies.
9. You push each other to do better
One of the characteristics of a healthy relationship is pushing each other forward to reach your best capacity. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you won’t stagnate as a person because your partner will always push you to be the best version of yourself.
“A healthy relationship is one where two independent people make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.” ~ Anonymous
This means pushing each other to reach your goals and believing in your partner in times when they don’t believe in themselves. You never get jealous of your partner’s achievements, instead you revel in it.
10. You’re best friends
Isn’t friendship the actual definition of real love?
You both aren’t just a couple, you’re also best of friends. You confide in each other, play pranks on each other, are always there for each other and enjoy each other’s company.
Don’t the characteristics of a healthy relationship sound a lot like a good friendship? If you have to have an equal partnership and a strong relationship, then being friends is vital. It helps the communication to flow and you can share without being afraid of being judged.
Related Reading: Are you and your partner best friends?
11. Your relationship moves at a good pace
You can feel that things aren’t moving too fast or too slow. In a healthy relationship, things progress at a pace that is comfortable to both partners.
One of the ideal partner qualities and characteristics of a healthy relationship is when your partner never rushes things if he/she feels like you’re uncomfortable. They will always try to do their best to make you feel at ease and when you’re with them.
And this will let you bloom into the relationship when you’re truly comfortable.
12. You make plans about the future together
Be it future plans for a breathtaking adventure or simply just plans for your next date together, you love spending time with each other and include one another in your future plans.
You see them with you, holding your hand when you picture your future. Both of you have agreed that you’re in this is a long-term relationship and you want to make it last, despite all the odds.
13. Their success makes you happy
You’re not constantly competing in the relationship. That’s the sign of a selfish attitude that is completely absent in your relationship.
No, sir, this relationship is about finding happiness in each other’s success, be it on the professional or personal front. Their happiness makes you happy too.
Not being jealous of each other’s success is one of the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
14. You both prioritise each other
You feel like a priority in your partner’s life and you give your partner priority. If this doesn’t sound like one of the characteristics of a healthy relationship, then what does?
You consult them before taking any important decisions (or even while picking which toothpaste to buy). Not only this, you also value their advice and make decisions based on their impact on your partner as well.
One of the benefits of a healthy relationship is that you will never feel like you’re unimportant in your partner’s life.
15. You make each other happy
Even when times are tough or when you’re in a fight, you still do your best to keep each other happy. You don’t mind adjusting or making little sacrifices for your loved one’s happiness.
In fact, these don’t seem like sacrifices at all because their happiness brings you joy. You don’t mind hanging out with their friends or going to a restaurant of their choice instead of yours because, at the end of the day, it’s all worth it.
You make each other so happy and fit together like pieces of a puzzle.
At the end of the day, when you’re in a healthy relationship, you will just know. Especially if you have had your fair share of toxic and unhealthy relationships and selfish partners, this warm and loving relationship will feel like a breath of fresh air after a long time.
Trust us, if these characteristics of a healthy relationship match yours, you’d best hold on to your partner. It might be time to put a ring on that finger!
In a good relationship you are equal partners where you help and support each other, from the chores to career decisions. You communicate openly, have trust, care and concern and are not judgmental or critical about each other.
Trust, support, care and concern, being non judgmental and happiness in each other’s progress are the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship.
Too much jealousy, lack of trust and need for control are the 3 most important warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.