Jealousy is not a good colour on anybody
Everyone has felt jolts of jealousy sometime or the other. As a kid, I felt jealous when I couldn’t win the first prize on Sports Day. I did not talk to the person who did, for the next week or two. It made me look petty, now that I think about it. We might think that as adults, we may not be as envious about trivial things like these. But that’s not true.
Jealousy takes its roots and shapes even in our adult lives. Whether it’s someone who is in a much better position that makes us jealous or someone who has got married, jealousy is a green, mean monster that makes us feel like hell.
Here are some tips to turn jealousy into motivation.
1. Accepting the emotion as jealousy
Because she just got promoted, or her business is booming, or she was made the Senior Partner – whatever the reason, accepting what you are feeling is the very first step to any recovery. If you feel a jolt of jealousy, acknowledge it. Don’t act on it by rudely venting it out on someone. Accept that you are jealous because she might have something that you have been trying to get for a long time, but couldn’t.
2. Understanding this emotion
Get to the root of the emotion. We tend to be envious when we see people having things that are missing in our life. Getting to the bottom of this emotion barrel is important. Instead of painting jealousy as something negative, let it show you the way.
3. Envy is more about a feeling than it is about things
When you are jealous of someone, it does not mean you want the things that that person has. If you are jealous of your neighbour who just logged 12 hours a day and got promoted, this doesn’t mean you want to work 12 hours a day. It means you are envious of her success or the fact that she is happy with her job. The feeling that comes with a new promotion is what you crave and lack.
4. Give people credit for their hard work
Some people are blessed with the ability to be good at everything. But others need to work really hard to get what they want. Comparing yourself in an unhealthy manner and not giving credit to the person who you are envious of, is not a mature move. If they deserve admiration, you should give it to them.
5. Focus on your abilities
Everyone is good at something. In other words, you have your own strengths and focussing on that will give you more self-confidence and boost your morale.
6. It can be a path towards self-improvement
Jealousy has a weird way of letting us know what we really want. Instead of ranting and letting the jealousy talk ill of someone, it can be used as a motivator for self-improvement. You are jealous because your friend makes awesome cookies? Learn to bake cookies. Or better yet, learn to bake the hardest cake there is. That way, it takes your mind off the negative feeling; also, it makes you good at baking.
7. Follow by example
Don’t let jealousy eat you up. If they are awesome at something that you have always wanted to be good at, have a conversation with them. It is relieving and you learn more in the bargain.
8. Transforming envy into admiration
This won’t come easy. Often when we talk to a person we are envious about, we tend to stick to the negative part of their personality. But once that is put aside, and you see what drove this person to achieve his/her goal, you will build a positive relation with the person. Turning envy into admiration for the person will come only when we listen and talk with an unbiased heart.
9. Learn from them
You could follow them on social media for your daily dose of inspiration. Reading their struggle stories is a good way to build up your motivation. Know that the world is a small place and you can have what you want with a little bit of help and a lot of hard work.
10. Celebrate the little successes you have
Getting disheartened with a minor glitch in your path is a sure shot way to crash and land. The little successes you have, celebrate them. Your Instagram poetry page has hit 1k followers? Celebrate a little. This keeps you from getting demotivated and makes you work harder to achieve your goals.