Don’t we all know the best bras are also the most boring? Straps that are so wide that no amount of pulling your top in from the shoulder would help. The 4-hook closure covers so much of your back that you might as well be wearing it over your top and not under it. (Superwoman, are you listening?) And of course the shades that you stick to are black, white and nude. No wonder the most boring bras are relegated to maternity wear.
But imagine a man like your most boring bra. All security, all comfort but so boring that you want to slip into the next lacy hot pink push-up number that you see in the window of a lingerie shop. Fun, but a recipe for disaster.
On the other extreme are those nipple pasties that come in a pack of 5 for those completely braless days. (Why 5? Some maths definitely wrong there.) These pasties pretend to cover the bare essentials. In most cases, they don’t even cover that. Unfortunately they look quite tempting. Men like nipple pasties are hypocritical right from the start. They promise nothing, they give even less and leave you with puckered skin and marks over one of the most sensitive parts of your body. I’m obviously talking about the heart. Avoid them at all costs. The pasties, and the men.
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Then there are the strapless bras. It’s as good as not wearing a bra, especially for big-breasted women. It’s just a show of covering up. The promise of the bra fails to meet the expectations. Men who are like strapless bras will sag themselves and let you sag with them. You will need to pull up both him and yourself from time to time just so you don’t sink into oblivion with your strapless bra touching your panty line.
What you really need is a good balanced bra. Something that fits you to a T…like it was especially designed to caress your curves but not in a way that makes you feel trapped inside a cage. You don’t mind wearing a corset once in a while but you don’t want to live in one for the rest of your life. And no, you don’t adjust to your bra. It feels right from the moment you wear it.
You want a bra and a man that’s comfortable but not in a boring sort of way.
A little underwire never hurt anyone. Full coverage is what you really look for, but 3/4ths would also do most times, because it’s one part freedom, one part passion, one part support and one part…well…a beautiful glimpse into your relationship with the bra and the man. Who knew love could be described in fractions?
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And what about those seam lines that show through your t-shirt? That should be a big NO. You want your man and your bra to be your silent supporters. Nobody wants a blabbermouth who calls attention to himself time and again.
Above all, you don’t want a relationship or a bra that makes you want to get out of it as soon as you reach home, right? You do however want the liberty to unhook it when you wish, especially at night, and let it all hang out there without fear of judgement. Letting yourself be should be the most basic expectation from your bra and your relationship.
After that, be it cross-backed, or halter neck, fuchsia, neon orange or black net; padded, non-padded, half coverage, plus size or backless; lacy, racy and everything else comes in between.
All said and done, a bra and a relationship should make you feel good about yourself.
Just like there is no single bra that fits all, there is no single man or relationship formula that works for everyone.
Choose what makes you walk in the sun all perky and bright with your chest out and the confidence that it won’t let you down.