Post pregnancy weight gain is something all women struggle with. Body shaming someone who is struggling with weight gain is probably the worst thing you can do to someone who is struggling and feeling insecure.
Post pregnancy weight gain is something women can’t control. What they need at this time is love, friendship and a supportive husband. Be there for your wives instead of fat shaming them or constantly bringing up the topic of how they were once so fit!
Pregnancy Weight Is Often Difficult To Lose
Postpartum weight loss is a cause for great struggle for most women. Due to breast-feeding, they may not be able to get into a diet regime. There is also a lot of body shaming around this time. When the old clothes don’t fit any more, most women feel upset, despite the chance to have a completely new wardrobe.
Women step on weighing scales on a daily basis and try on pre-pregnancy clothes. Along with the stress of new motherhood comes a lot of anxiety of weight gain, which can lead most women to depressive days.
Body shaming interactions don’t always have to end with the victim feeling complete useless and an utter failure. There are plenty of tips that can be used to mentally withstand the shaming.
A supportive husband is very crucial at such times when she is being body shamed.
Tips to support your wife against body shaming
If you want to support your partner at this time when she’s probably struggling with fat shaming and body shaming, follow the tips mentioned down below.
1. Tell them it’s not personal
First of all, make your spouse understand that it’s not personally about her, but the preconception people have about the female figure. Tell her not to take it to heart, even if the other person’s intention was to hurt her. Tell her you will tide over this together.
2. Give her all the reassurances
Be extra caring and loving towards her, because this is the time she is feeling physically inefficient and unattractive. If you gave her fake compliments, she can see through them.
Keep reassuring her that you love her for all the things she is doing during her motherhood. Tell her no matter how fat she has grown during her pregnancy, and no matter all the comments she is receiving about her postpartum weight gain, you still love her from the bottom of your heart. Make your wife happy.
3. Be patient
Remember, this is the time of her life that she will be oversensitive about all issues; therefore, anything you do and say would hurt her even more than normal times. So be patient with her, and be a supportive husband. Listen to her when she talks about her body concerns and her struggle with postpartum weight loss.
4. Help her get healthy
Help her develop a workable plan to get back to her healthy self, incorporating exercise and a diet regime. Support her and be part of her plan. Do not make her dwell in self pity; assure her that this is a temporary phase and she can work towards a healthy and fit self very soon.
5. Give her your time and appreciation
Spend more time with her, because at this time if you leave her alone and go out with friends, she will think you are avoiding her, as she is no longer attractive to you. This will upset her even more. Besides, she needs help with the child and you also have to bond with the child.
6. Appreciate her
Appreciate the great job she is doing as a new mother. It is very important for her that you know she has stretched and ached just to bring the child into this world. Don’t take it for granted that all women do, so she can also. Make her feel special about herself.
7. Stand up for her
When someone is body shaming your wife, stand up and support your wife in public, no matter who is fat shaming her. Talk as one and assure her that you are still genuinely attracted to her.
If you stand up for her, she will know she is loved and that the post pregnancy weight gain doesn’t bother you.
8. Body weight is not what makes her
Divert her attention from her physical self. Make sure she is not body shaming herself and being self-deprecating. She has just brought a new life into this world, the least you could do is be a supportive husband through her postpartum weight loss journey.
9. Give her strength
Tell her to be strong to stand up to shaming comments from others. It may not be a good idea to get into verbal fights, but it is always good to stand up for oneself when others shame you.
But for this, she has to be in love with her body. Help her work on her self-esteem so that she is confident in public. Your support is especially necessary after all the weight gain and body shaming comments society has put her through.
10. Prepare yourselves for the inevitable
Not all bodies are created alike nor are shamers the same; therefore, the body shaming will also vary from one situation to the other. Let her be prepared for the varying degrees of shaming.
Don’t sugarcoat the situation, but also don’t be deprecating. This is a fragile situation, and you need to guide your wife through this mentally difficult time.
11. Understand her relationship with her body
Your wife might have suffered from poor body image since childhood. Therefore it is essential to understand the past and deal with that as well. If she has always struggled with her body image, the post pregnancy weight gain is definitely not doing any good to her mental health.
Related Reading: How To Love Yourself- 21 Self-Love Tips
12. Maintain your sex life
Most importantly, have normal sex after pregnancy according to the advice of the doctor. She will gain her confidence back if you treat her just as you did before she put on any weight.
Deal with this delicate situation tactfully. Open conversations about body image. You cannot completely help her deal with her body shaming challenges, but you can continue loving her unconditionally right through the phase as she deals with it.