Can’t concentrate at work after a breakup? It’s not your fault, focusing on work after a breakup is not easy. It doesn’t matter how long you loved and how intense the relationship was for whatever period it survived. What matters is, breakups leave you broken, crippled and in nine out of ten cases, physically ill.
It is a debilitating experience for many, and the worst part is, the pain seeps into every other area of your life, and feels starkly endless. But it is not always going to be like this. All you need is a little time to yourself to practice self-love and heal completely.
Tips On How To Focus On Work After A Breakup
Is your breakup affecting work and your social life? And you can’t concentrate at work after breakup? These are the times, where one not only has to create a safe space for themselves, but also try hard so that they can use available resources and tools to have a sense of control.
For a lot of people, compartmentalization of emotions is not a possibility, and hence work life suffers terribly. But a semblance of boundaries and safety is imperative in order to not let your work life get affected.
Related Reading: Men Suffer More After A Breakup
We’ve come up with some handy tips on on how to focus on work after a breakup:
If you can, apply for leave immediately
Of course, breakups may not come with fixed dates and schedules – around holidays or just before you’ve exhausted all your leave at work, but yes, certain times, you may be able to apply for leave. This is necessary because you need some alone time.
It is practically impossible for you to go through a breakup today and work efficiently in office tomorrow. You’ll be vulnerable the whole and probably start feeling ill by the time afternoon arrives.
The first intelligent thing to do is to acknowledge that for the next few days you are not going to be in your best emotional state, and therefore applying for leave is the best option.
Not only it is a valid reason, for after all you are applying in order to take care of your emotional stability, but also this is the time where you can reflect, redirect your energies and set newer goals to make yourself realize that something has ended.
If you can’t concentrate at work after a breakup, this is your best shot at healing completely. Remember, we all need time to grieve and there’s no harm in doing that.
Close the phone-portal
It is a given thing that you’re going to be struggling at work after a breakup, be confused and will regularly sneak into the bathroom to shed a tear or two.
I had a friend who would take ‘howling breaks’ in office; he’d rush to the bathroom every hour, flip open his phone, look at his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook profile, and howl endlessly. You need to understand that the smartphone is nothing but a portal to your misery.
It is a time-energy capsule that time and again makes you relive the trauma of your break up in a loop. And once that happens, there is no stopping. You would probably come back home with a splitting headache and gulp down a fistful of aspirin! And that needs to stop.
Switch to self-preservation instead of destruction
The most immediate after-effect of a breakup is an endless sense of remorse and sudden drop in self-worth. People also seek escape through food and sleep. Their daily life rhythm becomes erratic as they eat anything they like and just lie in bed for hours.
Even in the office, most people can’t concentrate at work after a breakup because they feel tired and exhausted, and just want to leave and resort to lazy endless hours on the couch. Instead, I would suggest, understand that the leaving of your partner was never about how you are as a person, how you look or how charming your personality is.
Related Reading: Is It Fine To Still Be Friends On Social Media After A Breakup?
Redirect all your dissipating energy towards eating healthy. Make it a goal to exercise regularly and channel your energies into this project, where you are all set to transform yourself. Physical transformation does matter a lot.
You could start meditating or take up yoga. Start doing things that you have always been longing to- play a sport, learn an instrument, take up language classes.
In the process, your mind also transforms as you see yourself in the mirror every day. So your pet project immediately after a break up should be to make your body and mind as healthy as you can.
Slipping into a spiral is another thing that doesn’t allow anyone to perform well at work and creates an obstacle in every task they undertake. They begin to crave closure. Thankfully, a lot of workplaces have a counsellor or a therapist. Go and speak to them.
If you can’t concentrate at work after a breakup, consider visiting a therapist. They will guide you on the best way to deal with this loss.
You may also feel that by ignoring your emotions and by avoiding them, you can tackle them better. But focusing on what you feel and talking about these feelings would actually help gain perspective as to why this breakup happened.
After the initial venting about your ex-partner, when the anger and feelings of vengeance begin to dissipate, you will begin to see yourself in a newer light. Understand that whatever happened to you is an opportunity as well, to know yourself better.
All this while you kept seeing and perceiving yourself through the eyes of your ex, wondering what went wrong. When you can’t concentrate at work after a breakup, speaking weekly to a professional or to a person with an objective perspective will help you understand that it was never about them (in this case your ex), it was all about you.
And it is through them now that you learn more about yourself. Once you feel more yourself and confident in your own skin, you can focus on your goals better and not make the mistake of weaving your world around your ex
Thus, the answer to the question, ‘How to motivate yourself after a breakup’, is essentially, in one word, self-love.
Firstly, take time to heal completely. You need to learn how to live with yourself first and do the things you love before you can flourish in your work life.
Don’t spend all your time wallowing in sadness. Don’t stalk their social media until you’re completely over the breakup, and don’t immediately start looking for new relationships before you know you’re ready.
There is no definite period because it depends on the duration and intensity of the relationship. Studies suggest that it can take anywhere from 21 days to 3 months.