Pretending to be perfect when you are just in love
Remember the first time you two met? Smiling appropriately, not showing too many teeth, sipping your coffee noiselessly, covering your face while sneezing – all the etiquettes right in place. Once the numero uno date becomes the number thirty date, and you have been together for quite some time now, all those etiquettes disappear in thin air.
The longer you are as a couple, the more comfortable you get. The cute couple act sort of filters down to being two giant freaks together.
Here are the things couple do when they get super comfy with each other.
1. Noisy kisses
Kiss just for the sake of it, not because you are feeling “in a mood”. No tongue, no saliva, just a peck with a deliberate smooch noise. Go like ‘mwah’.
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2. Laundry checks
When you get so comfortable with each other that you start sniffing each other’s clothes to see if laundry needs to be done. Need a laundry check? Sniff your clothes and your lover’s clothes, significantly around the armpit area. If it makes you cringe, you need a laundry day. If not, you can go on for another week.
3. Put make up on each other
Girls do that to their boyfriends. Use all the makeup at their disposal on your man’s face. And let him return the favour by letting him do the same. Fun weekend, right?
4. Dance naked
Not all dances are meant for seduction. Turn up the volume of your favourite track and introduce your partner to the world of freaky love. Undress fully to a rock, sing along if you can. Couples can also do a striptease facing each other.
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5. Record the sleepy murmurs and take photos of drools
Ever get jealous of your snoring partner beside you? Dedicate that time to make use of that high featured smartphone of yours and clicking drool-y photos Videos are even better. They can be used for basic blackmail situations.
6. Talk in a strange impromptu made-up language
Converse in a totally personal and made-up language. The impromptu dialect can also be different. Make it a sort of a game. Whatever language your partner speaks, interpret it in your head and with hand gestures and facial expressions, reply with a made up language of your own. Whoever laughs first or gets tired of randomly making up language, loses.
7. Talk about poop
Send selfies while pooping. After the deed is done, click photos of your poop, send it to your partner’s phone and when they are not looking, set it as their lock screen.
8. Tug on body hair
After the relationship passes the honeymoon stage, the maintenance goes down a bit. Legs don’t get shaved above the knee. The beard grows longer and thicker. Give it a pull, out of the blue. But be careful not to do it too hard.
9. Shower together but no sex
The romance is not dead. Sometimes getting into shower with the partner means getting someone to scrub your back, or give a nice hair massage while shampooing.
10. Fart competition
Does this even need an explanation?