“How to find out if your partner is cheating online?” Jane never thought that she would be Googling a question like this. She had the most stable relationship with her husband, Aaron, for 10 years. Doubts started creeping in when Aaron started getting hyper about the Wi-Fi connection at a resort on a weekend break.
Jane said, “All he cared about was if the Wi-Fi was working, and he stayed glued to the mobile. The beach, the great food, nothing seemed to matter. After we came back, I ran a check and found out he was having an online affair. Among the types of affairs that exist these days, I realized this is the most common one.”
Jane saw the signs he’s cheating online, trusted her instincts, and found out about her spouse’s infidelity. If you use your instincts, you will know if your partner’s online interactions have gone up and have turned fishy. If you’re wondering how to find out if your partner is cheating online, let’s talk about all the things you need to look out for.
8 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating Online
In a study conducted among 1828 web users in Sweden, almost a third of the respondents reported cyber sexual experiences and as many were in committed relationships as were single. So, when it comes to millennial relationships, having an internet affair isn’t at all unheard of.
The signs will always be there if your partner is cheating online. Like in Jane’s case, it was clear that Aaron had this need to stay connected to someone Jane was not aware of. This is a sign of an emotional affair. After they came back from the resort for the first time in 10 years of their marriage, Jane started snooping on her husband’s phone. She found out that he was constantly conversing with a woman she did not know about, which set the alarm bells ringing.
When Jane confronted him, he immediately denied it. This is a very common knee-jerk reaction from someone who is cheating. Since online affairs don’t really feature much physical intimacy, they can be harder to catch. The best way to find out if a spouse is cheating is to catch them in the act or when they’re spending all their time away from you, but in the case of online cheating, things tend to get a bit tricky.
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Signs of online cheating can easily be disguised as work or important conversations. Since most couples don’t necessarily allow partners to snoop through their phones, blatantly using your partner’s phone in front of them isn’t also too effective. Even so, there lies an answer to “how to find out if your partner is cheating online?” Look out for the signs of cheating we’ve listed below for you.
1. Their smartphone is password protected
If your partner’s phone is always password protected and they treat it as a body appendage, it could be a sign that they have something to hide from you. If your partner has always had a password on their phone, you should look out for how much importance they now give their phone.
Not wanting someone to snoop around on your phone is totally understandable, but if your partner acts as though a bomb will go off the minute you touch their phone, it’s definitely a cause for concern and could be a sign your partner is having an internet affair. Find out if your partner is cheating online.
2. They never access social media on common devices
You could be sharing a laptop or a desktop, but chances are they would never access their social media accounts on shared machines. If a message pops up when they leave the desk to take a call and if you get to see all their activities, that would be a dead giveaway. They just can’t risk it.
Perhaps one of the biggest internet cheating signs is how your spouse is extremely careful to make sure you never get access to their social media accounts. Their phone is never kept lying around, the common machines are never logged in to their account and they’re always looking to find ways to add more passwords on their devices.
Of course, they could be operating under fake accounts too, so you might just get a peek into that if they are accessing Facebook on a common laptop. You will know you are dealing with a lying husband if you discover what they are up to. Make sure you keep an eye out for this internet cheating sign which will be easy to spot if your partner never lets you browse Instagram from their account even for a second.
3. They don’t want to be friends on social media
If your spouse has blatantly denied accepting follow requests from you on social media, it’s either because they never use those platforms or if they have way too much to hide from you. In this digital age, not being connected to each other on the internet is unheard of.
Now they may not want you to follow them on Instagram, but your friends might tell you about the banter they were having with some random person of the opposite sex that was rather flirtatious. This is an absolute sign that your partner is cheating online. They don’t really want you to see how flirty they are getting in the virtual world. If he is married and he is flirting the signs will be there.
4. Your partner is cheating online if they are on dating sites
It’s not easy to find out if your partner is on a dating site because you have to be there as well. But you could have friends who are there and they could check out for you. Brandon thought his marriage was perfect till a friend told him his wife, Susan, was cheating on Tinder. He couldn’t imagine his wife was hooking up online and hiding it on her phone.
If you’re trying to figure out how to find out if someone is cheating online for free, just ask a friend if they’ve ever come across your spouse on any dating apps. Otherwise, if you think your spouse might be using a particular dating app, you can always make a fake account on one of these apps and swipe away. Just don’t let your partner catch you using these apps, you don’t want them trying to turn the tables on you.
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5. They are on the phone at odd hours
You wake up in the middle of the night to see them texting someone. Or you could even find them on the living-room couch with the pretext of watching TV but actually messaging away to glory. If you’re trying to catch a cheating husband on WhatsApp, try to see if they’re online on WhatsApp when they told you they’d be doing something else or are busy and can’t talk to you.
If you have been thinking about how to find out if your partner has been cheating online then just see if they are using their phone, but as soon they see you they keep away the phone and pretend to do something else. This sudden change in their demeanor is going to scream out that they’re up to something they shouldn’t, and could be a clear sign that your partner is cheating on you.
6. Social media PDA
If your partner has a family photo as his DP and often engages in social media PDA, it doesn’t really safeguard your relationship as you otherwise might’ve thought it did. In fact, most men have their family photos on their profiles, to prove that they are safe people when they are trying to establish contact with new people online. People who indulge in online cheating often use family as a shield to whitewash their intentions.
7. They smile while texting
If they are messaging someone secretly and cheating online then they could be engrossed in texting and smiling while doing so. Sure, it could be a meme they’re looking at and that might not in itself be the most solid way to answer, “How do I catch my boyfriend cheating online?”
But even the funniest picture can’t make you laugh for days on end, and the difference between a nonchalant smirk and an excited grin is clearly visible. This can happen when you are saying something and your partner is lost in their smartphone. If most of the time they aren’t attentive and you have to repeat what you are saying then it’s online cheating signs you are dealing with. Being distracted all the time is an absolute giveaway.
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8. “Supposedly” interacting with someone of the same sex
Tania found her husband, David, always talking to someone called “Bryan”. Whenever a call came from “Bryan”, his name would flash on the phone and David would always leave the room to take the call. Then there would be WhatsApp messages from Bryan but David always took care to clear the chat.
David said Bryan was a colleague who worked in his team and they had to be in touch constantly. One day Tania managed to note Bryan’s number and called from her landline. Lo and behold, a lady picked up the phone. This is a common technique of online cheating, using a same-sex name so that the partner doesn’t get suspicious. If you’re looking for the signs your husband is cheating online, try to ascertain if there’s someone with whom their texting has increased substantially, especially if you’ve never met this person before.
If you’ve noticed a few of these internet cheating signs in your spouse, you might be prone to acting out in paranoia or anger. Try not to let your emotions get the better of you, the poor choices you make while you’re angry are not going to help anyone. Instead, to answer the question “How to find out if your partner is cheating online?” you need to make sure that you calm down first. Let’s take a look at what you need to do after noticing the internet cheating signs.
How To Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating Online?
Online cheating is something we are all prone to thanks to the modern world of internet interactions. There are some people who can refrain from getting into an online affair, but there are some who can not stop themselves from cheating online, and with some others, it becomes a habit.
Online cheating is a way of indulging in emotional infidelity and its instant gratification to people who might be looking for it. Because of how easy it is to start an online affair, almost anyone can find themselves flirting with someone online or even sexting with them, while also forming an emotional bond in the process.
Clearly, it’s a problem that needs to be addressed immediately. If your partner exhibits some of the signs of online cheating, then instead of being just suspicious you have to do some fact-finding. So, how to find out if your partner is cheating online? Follow these steps.
1. Check their messages
While we believe that spying on a spouse’s phone is the last thing a person should do, you might not be left with any other choice here. If you have been feeling that something is amiss for the longest time, this is the only way to ascertain if they are cheating online or not.
Your husband, for instance, could be taking his phone to the washroom or placing it below the pillow at night. What do you do then? And for the people who ask questions like: “How can I see my husband’s text messages without his phone?” Is checking text messages possible without the phone?
You can set up apps that you can use remotely through your laptop and the internet to read your husband’s texts or see his online behavior. This is not to say that husbands are only responsible for online cheating. Wives are too. “I installed Highster Mobile on my wife’s cell phone and could even track her on GPS,” said a husband on conditions of anonymity.
The best way to find out if a spouse is cheating is often through methods that will give you a conclusive proof. When you make use of apps such as these, you’ll be provided with information your spouse will not be able to deny.
2. Wondering how to find out if your partner is cheating online? Search online
If you can get hold of a name or names of people your partner is cheating on you with, then you can run a Google search on them. This way you get to know who they are, what they do, and all the basic information about them. If you can’t do it yourself, there are companies who could help you to run the search and they charge between $15 and $50 to do the search for you.
In other cases, even if you Google your partner’s name, you may come across some of their internet activity that could be suggestive. That’s what happened with Nickie, who had noticed odd behavior in her partner. “I saw a few signs he’s cheating online but didn’t want to get too paranoid about it. One day I casually Googled his name not expecting much, but what I found was hard to accept.
“I saw his profile on a few message board websites, asking questions about how to get away with infidelity. When I finally got my hands on his phone, his WhatsApp was filled with flirtatious messages from his mistress. Ladies, if your boyfriend is cheating on WhatsApp, I’d suggest borrowing his phone to “take a picture” and notice how badly he freaks out when you handle his phone. Needless to say, my relationship didn’t last too long after that,” she said.
3. Run a check with friends
You will be surprised to see how much more they know about your partner than you know. Laura was telling her friend Dina about how she suspected her husband was cheating online. Dina instantly told her of the flirtatious exchanges she has noticed between him and a particular lady on Facebook.
Laura wasn’t friends with her husband on social media so she had no clue, but her friend had obviously noticed. Friends sometimes notice much more than we do because our faith in our partners often blinds us. While trying to look for signs your husband is cheating online, ask a couple of friends about what they might have heard or seen. What you’re not ready to believe, your friends might have already analyzed and assessed.
4. Is your partner on dating sites?
As we have seen, many married people are on dating sites like Tinder, so it’s important to check if your partner is on dating sites or not. How do I find out if my partner is on dating sites? A remote app will help you check that, or you could create a fake profile and check. Chances are your partner is also there under a fake name, but if they have used their photo you’ll obviously get to know right away.
If you do not want to create a profile yourself, you can ask your friends who already have dating apps to keep an eye out for your spouse’s profile. While you’re figuring out how to find out if your partner is cheating online, you may have to call in a few favors from your single friends who operate dating apps.
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5. Suggest a phone detox trip
This could act as the final nail in the coffin. Leaving the phone in the bag and going on a relaxing holiday would be the best idea if your partner is interested in spending time with you, but if they are not then they would react adversely. If they get angry at this idea and come up with all kinds of excuses, starting from work to family, they will tell you life without a smartphone is just not possible.
6. Hire a private investigator
Though it may sound a bit extreme, it may be a necessary step that you have to take if you think your partner is cheating on you. Whether their affair is strictly online or if they actually go out and meet this person, a private detective will most probably be able to get you the information you need.
While you’re figuring out how to find out if your partner is cheating online, you must use every resource available to you. If you refrain from using this option because it “sounds extreme” or “looks bad,” remind yourself that the other option is to be trapped in an unhappy marriage with a cheating spouse who won’t tell you about their infidelity.
7. A confrontation may uncover the truth
If your boyfriend is cheating on WhatsApp and you see a notification for a rather suggestive message, don’t be afraid to point it out and let your feelings be known. Even if you don’t have much proof on your side, tell your partner that you’ve been feeling like they’re up to something and how it has been making you feel.
However, make sure that you approach this conversation in the right way. If you’re hostile, the conversation is very quickly going to turn into a screaming match with a lot of blame-shifting involved. Instead of anger and accusations, let your partner know what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.
It may also be useful to use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying “You’re cheating on me and you’re ruining my life,” you might want to say “I feel like you’re being unfaithful and it makes me feel like…” Also, unless you have concrete proof, throwing around accusations isn’t the best thing to do.
During the confrontation, another thing to take note of is gaslighting in the relationship. If you’ve seen your partner blatantly flirting with another person, don’t let the shrug it off like it’s nothing. They may question your version of reality by saying, “You’re crazy, you’re making a big deal out of nothing,” it’s their attempt at discrediting the situation to try and get away scot-free.
8. Consider couples counseling
Instead of trying to figure out, “How to find out if your partner is cheating online?” try to also think about why the infidelity may be happening, or why you’re questioning your partner’s loyalty toward you so much. In most cases, there’s definitely an underlying issue that’s causing problems in your dynamic, which can be ironed out during couples counseling.
Counseling can provide a safe space for both of you to talk about what’s going wrong in the relationship so you can tackle the underlying issues. A confession of infidelity may follow as well. If it’s help you’re looking for, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists can help you understand how to deal with the issues in your relationship.
What Is The Best App To Catch A Cheating Spouse?
Since online cheating has become a way of the world, the market has also become flooded with apps to catch the online cheater. There are two kinds of apps: ones that you have to install on the cheater’s phone and others that can be used remotely. In the remote apps category, the Spyine app is used pretty frequently.
In the other category, where you need the phone at least once to install the app, are Spyic, Cocospy, Minspy, Spyier, Flexispy, Stealthgenie, Spyhuman, and Mobistealth. These are some of the other apps with various features and costs that are most frequently used to catch online cheating. The latter are mainly Android phone apps and none of these come for free.
Trying to catch signs of online cheating isn’t really the easiest thing to do in the world. One minute you think you’ve caught your partner texting the “other one,” but you might be proved wrong once the person saved as “Bryan” on your spouse’s phone actually turns out to be a Bryan. Even so, the best way to find out if a spouse is cheating can often be your own intuition. Once you see the tell-tale signs of online cheating you can take all the steps to be sure that your hunch is right.
A good way to find out if your partner is cheating is to snoop on their phone, ask friends, check out the person you suspect they are having an affair with on Google, and suggest a phone detox trip and see how they react.
The first signs of cheating are your partner’s behavior. If they are frequently distracted, always glued to the phone, and never take their calls in front of you, then these might be the signs of an affair.
This is a million-dollar question. One explanation is that monogamy is not natural for humans because we had largely polygamous societies before. But monogamy helps in keeping order in society. But some human beings cannot stay within that order and find excitement in building other relationships.
You can gather evidence, become sure that they are cheating, and confront them. If they want to discontinue that relationship and rebuild the trust you can consider that, but if you feel you cannot do that, then move on.
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