Ugh… with so many applications making their debut every freaking day, it’s hard to know which one is the best (or the worst!). And if that isn’t depressing enough, the people accessing those, do not make things better. Tinder is a houseful, and sometimes a handful. Like all online dating apps, filtering out the sleazebags and the douches is never an option. Tinder provides a scope to locate people with similar interests who might be interested in going on dates. However, for a few, Tinder is the Amazonian ground to hunt down anyone and everyone who is in the proximity. With swipes and likes, the conversation never really proceeds beyond “No, thank you, I don’t want to come over and hook-up”. No, not all men are looking for hook-ups and yes, there are always two men out of a hundred who would genuinely want to have a conversation for a week or so before whipping out the dongle-dingle. (Like no one taught them to keep their pants zipped!). The rest 96 of them are varied kinds. Ladies and gents, if you come across the following kind, do try and avoid them.
1. Hunter boy:
Almost always, the conversationalist knows who to pick with their swag-ish looks or a smooth tongue. Beneath the giant pile of metaphors and dialogues right out a 90’s classic movie, a hunter boy picks off of women like picking his teeth. A smooth Tinder guy starts the conversation with a “What are you looking for on Tinder?” Hunter boy won’t show his disappointment if your answer doesn’t match with his. However, you will find him standing with his gun out and staring dead at your face. Creepy to the level of disgusting. Steer clear of him. Spot. Identify. Dodge.
2. The over-persistent one:
If I have not replied to your message(s) since the time you stopped in to write “hello gorgeous”, it’s probably I do not want a conversation with you. Persistence in a man is worth mentioning but it does NOT EVER apply to men you have never met or have had a conversation with. Take a hint, please. You don’t need to top off your frustration with “You are not that hot anyway” or “Suck my balls, bitch”. If you have such men in your Tinder list, do un-match and evade in the future.
3. The faux- comedian creep:
Let’s face it humour eases one into a conversation. So if you have found a man who can crack sarcastic, dark comic jokes, you might want to have a conversation to see how far he can take it. A faux comedian generally runs dry after he has exhausted Google. Once I had a conversation with a Chandler-like funny dude who at the end of a day’s chat responded to my compliment of him being funny as “Well, I won’t go down in history as a funny dude, but I can surely go down on you.” Got really creepy, really fast. If you find someone who mixes crass, out of the box jokes with immense sexual audacity, please do the necessary and avoid him.
4. The “I’m in town for a week” one:
*red siren alert* If a man says he is a visitor from a foreign land and is “looking for some good time”, run the other way. Many fall victim to this line, putting out on the first date but a few weeks later he pulls the same trick on another woman. There genuinely might be men who are in town for a week. All I want to ask those men “Is it so hard to go without a date or a hook-up for a week?” OH, well, if you want a casual hook-up, go for it. If not, un-matching and ceasing conversation should be the right way to avoid such men.
5. The one without a bio:
Okay, many do not see this as an alert. Personally, I feel the guy who cannot conjure a line (or a few words) to introduce the self, is not the kind I can really trust. Though many use the no intro bit to start a conversation and introduce themselves in a chat conversation. Well, that’s not good enough, is it? No intro? Avoid the said individual.
Learn to duck and be the wiser one! Tinder away all you want but make sure you know what you are doing. One of your Tinder mates might just be a maniac looking for his next victim. Stay careful, be happy.