When it comes to finding success with online dating, a lot rides on using the right dating app conversation starters. Unlike a real-life date, you don’t have the opportunity to make an impression with your personality and inherent charm. Words are all you have to pique the interest of a potential match and take things forward.
Not only do you have to steer clear of cringy or creepy vibes, but also say things that’ll make the other person want to talk to you more. On paper, it can sound like a daunting task but once you get the hang of it, it really isn’t rocket science.
Taking a leaf out of their profile, asking the right questions, choosing your words wisely – knowing how to open a conversation on a dating app can be a tricky balance to strike. A few actionable dating tips can help you devise a strong strategy for online conversation starters that work.
Things Not To Say When Starting A Conversation On A Dating App
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Before we jump into the online dating conversation starters, it’s important to see what you shouldn’t say, lest you not even get a response from the Tinder/Bumble match you dreamt up all morning. Since there’s an inherent pressure to always be witty, you can be sure of the fact that a lame introduction is most probably not going to warrant a response.
To make sure you don’t end up being someone who gets left on read by someone you just matched with a few seconds ago, here’s what you need to keep in mind:
1. Don’t “Hey & Pray”
Texting “Hey!” as a conversation starter for dating apps is essentially a death sentence. Unfortunately, dating apps are high effort and anything less than a witty remark or an open-ended question might not even garner a response. Unless you’re a literal celebrity (in which case you don’t even need to worry about the best conversation starters for online dating), try to avoid saying anything like a simple “Hi”.
2. Don’t be creepy
Okay, granted, the person you just matched with on Tinder is definitely beautiful. But while thinking about Tinder conversation starters, please don’t settle on something like “Ur so hot”. Immediately starting off with a remark laced with lust isn’t really going to do much for you, especially if you’re a guy.
Sure, you might be looking for something casual, but there’s plenty of time to talk about that and you don’t need to come in guns blazing with a supremely thoughtful, “You wanna make out?”
3. Don’t be rude
Before you send a rude jab at a person disguised as a slight “roast”, ask yourself, would you do that to someone you met IRL literally for the first time ever? When trying to figure out conversation starters on Bumble or any other app, it’s important to understand that basic decency should never be sacrificed.
As with every other conversation you’ll have in your life, be it behind a screen or face-to-face, be respectful and interesting. Don’t expect this person you don’t know to talk to you just because you matched. Put some effort in, put your best foot forward and hope for the best.
And if you’d like to reduce the involvement of luck in your dating app escapades, read on to find out how you can maximize your chances of finding someone you can binge-watch your favorite shows with.
Related Reading: Online Dating Profile Examples To Attract Men
How Do You Introduce Yourself In Online Dating?
Now that you know ‘Hello!’, ‘What’s up?’ and ‘How are you?’ won’t cut it anymore, let’s figure out what you need to do instead. There’s something about the anonymity of dating apps that makes people rather difficult to impress. The right introduction to open a conversation on a dating app can go a long way in keeping a potential interest curiously hooked. Here are some tips that’ll sort out the ‘how do you introduce yourself on online dating’ dilemma for you:
1. Keep it simple
Since a lot of people struggle with the “How do you introduce yourself online dating?” question, hesitation often comes in the way of them starting a conversation. As a result, they miss out on an opportunity to make a connection. If you can’t seem to find the right words, keep it simple.
You can open a conversation on a dating app with just “Hey there! Noticed that you love dogs too..” or “Hey! I’m Mark, how’s Sunday treating you?”
2. Add a personal touch
Another simple way to grab the other person’s attention while introducing yourself on a dating app is to acknowledge them. Just add their name to the basic ‘hello’ message. For example, ‘Hey, Janet! I’m Mark.’
3. Throw in a quirky twist
If humor comes naturally to you or you have an inherent quirky side, use it. That way you’ll never have to worry about how do you introduce yourself online dating. You could try something like:
‘Bonjour, Janet! This is Mark. And that’s all the French I know.’
or
A classic knock, knock joke:
‘Knock, Knock’
‘Who’s there?’
‘Nancy’
‘Nancy Who?’
‘Definitely, not Drew.’
Okay, maybe you can come up with a better joke than that but the point remains, when you’re looking to find the best online dating conversation starters, humor often comes out on top.
4. Pick up something from their profile
Talking to a person about something they like is a surefire way to take the conversation forward. So, before you start a conversation, spend some time perusing their profile. Pick up on their interests and weave them into the introductory message. Whether you want to know how to say hi on Bumble or Tinder, this is a tried and tested trick you just can not go wrong with.
”Hey, I see you are a Netflix regular. Please tell me you have binged on Money Heist.’
or
‘Hey, I see you love wine and cheese. What a coincidence! My friends and I are going to a tasting festival next week.’
Related Reading: How to identify breadcrumbers in online dating!
5. Use your adjectives wisely
As much as you’d like to believe that words like ‘gorgeous’, ‘handsome’, ‘pretty’ or ‘sexy’ are bound to play to the other person’s vanity and get them interested, more often than not these don’t work. In the online dating world, these are viewed as sexual innuendos. That means they’ll make you come across as creepy or clingy.
So steer clear of the following:
‘Hey, gorgeous!’
‘Yo, sexy!’
‘Hola! You’re a pretty chick.’ or ‘Hey! You’re a handsome hunk!’
How Do You Start A Conversation On A Dating App?
So, your match has responded and you’ve exchanged pleasantries. Now that you have made your introduction count, what next? It is crucial to tread equally carefully from here on too and build upon the foundation you’ve laid rather than decimate it with carelessness. Here are some dating app conversation starter tips that work like a charm:
1. Get to know them better
If you’re looking for Tinder conversation starters (that work well on Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, and the likes too), we’d recommend starting with getting to know the other person. This is a great way to let someone know that you’re genuinely interested in knowing the person behind the profile.
Here are some great get-to-know-each-other online conversation starters that work:
- Where are you from?
- Where did you grow up?
- How long have you lived in Seattle?
- So, you’re a Texas native. I take it you’re a football fanatic too?
- Did you grow up in Boston? Must have been a fan of those Honeycomb Creamery’s scoops!
2. Compliments are solid dating app conversation starters
Surprise, surprise! The good-old practice of lavishing a crush (or a match, in this case) with compliments still works. You just need to know the right words and the right way to say them, lest you risk putting the other person off. Worse, when they say thank you and you have nothing to say in response, you invite awkward silences into the conversation. These compliments are the perfect online conversation starters that work:
- Wow, you went skiing in the Swiss Alps. You must be quite an adventure lover.
- That Thanksgiving meal looks delish. You must be a fantastic cook.
- Catching the bad guys for a living must take a lot of courage.
Here’s what NOT to say, especially in your first conversation:
- I was going through your pictures, you have a sexy body.
- That mole on your neck is so inviting.
- I wonder how handsome you look without that shirt.
Related Reading: The Ultimate Funny Online Dating Questions
3. Hobbies and interests make good conversation starters for dating
This one is along the lines of asking a person about their yesteryears. Talking about hobbies and interests qualifies as good conversation starters for dating for two reasons – first, it lets the other person know you’re interested in them and not just getting into their pants; and second, it offers a great opportunity to find commonalities. Here’s how to use hobbies and interests as Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder conversation starters:
- What kind of food do you like?
- 500 Days of Summer or Notting Hill? Or Avatar or Inception?
- What sitcom did you grow up on?
- What is the one book you’ve read more than once?
- For which stand-up comedian’s show would you buy front-row tickets?
4. Talking in hypothetical helps to keep the conversation going
You have made it past the two dreaded dilemmas – how do you introduce yourself in online dating and how do you start a conversation on the dating app. Pat yourself on the back. But now comes the tricky part of keeping the conversation going. Hypothetical questions are a great way to make that happen.
Here are hypotheticals you can use to move forward from dating app conversation starters:
- Five celebrities that’d feature on your ideal dinner party guest list.
- What would you do if you never had to work?
- Define your dream holiday.
- If you had a get-out-of-jail-free card, what would you use it for?
- If you were the first person to set foot on the moon, what would you’ve said?
- What would you say if I asked you out on a date?
5. Share an amusing story related to something you’re talking about
If you’ve managed to find areas of interest between you two, now would be an appropriate time to share a story related to those interests. It’ll keep the conversation going and make sure this person knows you have a few funny stories up your sleeve. Before you do share these stories, however, ask yourself if it has made anyone else in the past laugh.
You don’t want to share a lame story under the pressure of trying to find the best conversation starters for online dating. When you’re all set, this is how you can start sharing your anecdotes:
- You like baseball? When I was little, I was playing with my friends and…
- You like Arctic Monkeys! This one time, my friend and I went to see them live and…
- I see you went to Europe! This one time when I was backpacking through Western Europe…
6. Use application-specific features
Tinder lets you show off your Spotify, Hinge lets you show off your Instagram, Bumble provides an in-depth view of the person and OKCupid will tell you why you two are perfect for each other.
Take advantage of these app-specific features while trying to find the conversation starters on bumble or any individual app. You can opt to say things like:
- I just saw your Spotify top artists, I love every one of them!
- I see your Instagram has a very specific aesthetic tone, looks great! Where was that photo taken?
- I love this answer you gave on your profile, I feel the same way.
Related Reading: 15 cute things a girl does when she really loves you
7. Ask fun and open-ended questions
If the conversation is going well and you’re looking for things to talk about, open-ended fun questions can perform surprisingly well. As one of the best conversation starters for online dating, it can even strike up an engaging conversation. Wasn’t that the plan all along?
Confused about what to ask? Here are a few examples:
- Which is the one show you can binge-watch over and over again?
- Do you prefer cats or dogs?
- What’s the grossest thing you’ve done?
- What is your spirit animal?
8. End on a promise
Since this is your first conversation with someone you’re interested in, you must focus on doing it right and getting out in time. It’s vital to end your first conversation before you both run out of things to talk about. At the same time, you shouldn’t do it abruptly. Sign off with a promise to pick up from where you left off. Here are some tips to close your first online date conversation:
- This was fun. Let’s catch up soon.
- I have an early morning tomorrow. Let’s do this again soon.
- It was fun talking to you. I look forward to more.
- Have a good night. Talk soon.
With the right dating app conversation starters, you can evoke intrigue and interest and set the foundation to take things forward. Keep using these tips and tricks until you’re both comfortable enough that conversation just flows. When that happens, ask them out on a real date.
Pro Tip: Notice how we didn’t mention any cheesy pickup lines or puns? That’s because most of the time, they don’t really work. Puns aren’t really widely appreciated and some people might even find it annoying if you make puns on their names. And unless your pickup line is completely original (meaning, you didn’t take it off Google), stick to the online dating conversation starters we listed out for you.
FAQs
The most important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t end a conversation abruptly. Let this person know that you’re busy and you’d like to text them sometime later.
Good online dating conversation starters with a girl include talking about their interests and hobbies, sharing a funny story you’ve experienced, or just getting to know her better.
Guys appreciate a bit of humor, so if you can start a conversation with a witty observation or a remark it’ll do you two so good. Although, don’t be rude or end up roasting him. Be courteous and don’t be too eager to impress.
