The joint custody of child is tricky business when one is undergoing a divorce. It’s hard enough to get divorced considering the legalities of things, the emotional upheavals and figuring out how one should restart their lives. On top of that, when you have kids, one is trying to do their best to keep the children out of the messy bits of this life-changing decision, as much as they can.
A divorce is painful for you and for the children, there is no other way to go about it. But if you are mindful, know all the right things to say and if you follow our co-parenting tips given below, the pain can be less for your children.
Effective Co Parenting Tips To Manage Joint Custody Of Child
Availing joint custody of a child is a decent way of starting your life after divorce. Remember, that no matter how much animosity you might harbor for your ex, the same cannot trickle down to your children. Your children deserve to continue to have two supportive parents on either side of them.
Depending on the age of your child, they will undergo their own personal difficulties with this lifestyle change but as long as they know that their parents love them, they will sail through. Thus, it is your job to create a healthy environment for your child and figure out how to co-parent the best that you can. Consider the following pointers to deal well with divorce and child custody.
Related Reading: 9 Important Tips When Moving On After Divorce
Don’t speak badly about your ex to your kid
Experts all across the world have agreed on this point. If you keep speaking ill about your ex, it’s likely that your child will react upon those very same points. Your relationship with your ex should have no correlation with your child’s relationship with them. You need to remember that even if you have parted ways with him/her, your child is still attached to your partner and you must allow them that bliss.
Divorce and children is difficult enough and you do not want to inundate your child with details of the divorce that they will be unable to grapple with.
Set aside your ego
Divorce can make the parents forget that they aren’t the only ones who are suffering. We know that it feels like your life was turned upside down overnight, but you have to try your best to stay strong for you children. Cry, vent, try talk therapy – do anything that you need to be better. You have to be a brighter and bigger person not just for yourself but for your child.
You need to let go of your ego, and work towards what is best for your child. Use positive parenting tips, spend quality time with them and do not be petty when picking up your child from your ex’s house. They will see right through that. It is important to work together in order to successfully manage joint custody of a child.
Related Reading: Be Sensitive To Your Children While Going Through The Divorce
Be realistic when you file for custody
How to separate with kids? It’s not that hard as long as you keep it together and put on a brave face. Getting joint custody of a child is yet another case where parents need to let go of their fears and insecurities. Making unrealistic custody grabs will only lead to further frustrations and hurt.
We know that you are already stressed about dividing assets and so on, especially if you did not sign a prenuptial agreement beforehand. But effective co parenting starts right in the lawyer’s office. Experts suggest going about the whole process like any other business arrangement. You need to have a realistic view of your schedule and commitments, when deciding on custody arrangements. Don’t get too emotional and throw fits in front of your children. We know it’s not easy but you have to be brave.
Find an agreeable method of communication
For joint custody of a child to be successful, you need to find a mode of communication that works for both of you. In today’s age of technology, there are hundreds of apps that can help you manage your joint custody schedules, without the need for physical interaction.
So your half custody of a child can indeed become easier if you find a smooth way of dealing with the same. Don’t let your child catch you fighting over the phone with your ex about who should take responsibility of your daughter over the weekend. Keep it direct and simple.
Be honest with your kids and polite and civil to your ex. You’re no longer one big happy family, but it doesn’t hurt to show basic good manners when you’re trying to co-parent and battle a divorce. If nothing else, it sets a good example for your kids.
Joint custody of a child is pretty decent way of splitting if you’re thinking about how to separate with kids.
If you’re wondering how to co parent with a difficult ex, know that then even more responsibility lies on you. You need to be even more calm, collected and understanding in such a case. They might try to find ways to argue with you unnecessarily but you have to try to keep the peace and find a middle ground.