Most of us know that men would do anything to get laid, they may even pretend to be in love just to have some fun with you. Some men lie intentionally just to have a night of passion, and after they are done they may never call back or talk to you again.
Sounds familiar? Does this leave you wondering is he with me just to have sex? Well, find out which red flags to look out for when you’re uncertain how to tell if a guy wants a relationship or just a hookup.
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Is he with you just for sex?
Are you still sitting on the fence, contemplating the biggest mystery of love? Are you currently with a man who leaves you wondering ‘does he like me or just wants to sleep with me?’ every time you’re together. You meet, sparks fly, you have mindblowing sex, but that’s as far as it goes. When you try connecting on an emotional level, this man who was so into you moments ago suddenly seems distant. Does that make you wary of dating?
If it’s any reassurance, you’re not alone. It has happened to the best of us – falling head over heels for a guy who just wanted to get in our pants. The thing about such relationships – if you can call them that – is that there’s a certain enigma to the equation which renders it impossible to decipher the true intentions of the man you’re with.
If the ‘does he love me or is it just sex’ question is keeping you up at night, you’ll find your answer in these 8 telling signs:
1. He’s surrounded by women
If the guy you’re with surrounds himself with women whenever he’s out socially, it’s a clear sign of someone who has a penchant for casual sex. This tendency to stay in proximity of women as much as possible is his way of scoring some action, preferably with different partners.
2. All your memories together are of great sex
Think back to what are some of the most memorable moments you’ve spent together? If it all boils down backs to getting things hot and steamy between the sheets, the writing is one the wall. Still want to know ‘is he with me just to have sex‘? We hate to be the ones to break it you, but yes!
Related Reading: 20 Signs He Is Not Into You
3. All your conversations turn sexual
You may be telling him about your day or having a casual discussion about a TV show, and the conversation turns sexual. Always, without fail!
You: You won’t believe what happened at work today!
Him: You got wet thinking about me?
You: Let’s get ice-cream
Him: Oh! I’d love to eat some off of you for sure.
Relatable? Then, the guy is most definitely in it for sex and nothing more.
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4. He has told you so
Perhaps, when you started dating or hooked up for the first time, he told you explicitly that he’s not looking for anything serious or longterm but you didn’t read too much into it. Now, being with him leaves you with this nagging doubt – can he love sex with me but not love me? Well, it is entirely possible and if you revisit those initial conversations, you may well find your answer.
5. He contacts you only when he wants to hook up
Your calls to him go unanswered, your texts aren’t returned. He practically up and vanishes for days and reaches out only when he wants to hook up. Your annoyance at his absence is met with a nonchalant ‘I was busy’ or ‘you have no idea what I was dealing with’ that not only invalidates your feelings of anger or resentment but also leaves you unsure whether you have the right to an explanation at all.
6. All your dates involved being at home
You suggest going to the movies, he wants to stay home and order in. You want to hang out with your friends, he suggests Netflix and chill. If you only get together either at his place or yours and all of your dates lead to sex, there is absolutely no doubt that he’s in it just for the sex.
7. You don’t know anything about him
Who was in his best friend in high school? Which is his favourite movie? Which team does he root for? If you draw a blank about these question but know his every move in bed like the back of your hand then the ‘does he like me or just wants to sleep with me?’ question pretty much answers itself.
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8. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends or met yours
If you have been going out for some time now but neither has he introduced you to his friends nor agreed to meet yours, it’s a classic sign of a stunted relationship. The reason why your relationship isn’t following the natural progression may well be that your guy is in it just for the sex and sees no point in investing his time and energy into cultivating a deeper bond with you.
Girls, He Wants More Than Just Sex
On the other hand, if the guy values you, he’ll go all the way in trying to develop a deep bond with you. If he really loves you, he will be a companion and a friend rather than somebody who is only looking for hook-ups or one-night stands. You know he wants more than just sex when:
1. He wants to have real conversations with you
Know that the guy is into you only if all of your conversations do not turn into hurried sex talks. There are a lot of other things under the sun to talk about other than just how to get laid. Especially, if he is in love, he will surely ask you whether blue is your favourite colour or the shop you got your LBD from.
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2. He understands your sexual health problems
Sexual health problems are a serious and common issue from women. From menstrual cramps to more complex problems like PCOD or painful intercourse, every girl has had her share of these troubles. When a guy cares about you deeply, he will be compassionate about that urinary tract infection or lubrication troubles.
3. He is emotional and not afraid of being vulnerable in front of you
If he loves you, he will surely let go of his morbid masculinity. Think of the new Bollywood hero, not the uptight one, but one who is soft and gentle and sings you ‘kuch toh hai tujhse raabta’ over the phone. Boys do cry and if he does for you, be sure that you are with the right man.
4. Is really keen on introducing you to his family and meeting yours
What’s life without the quintessential family drama? A guy who loves you is willing to take all that risk, even at the cost of being ridiculed or taken to task. He will stand up for you, no matter what and sticks by his decisions.
Related Reading: 15 Signs He Wants To Marry You Someday
5. Your consent matters to him
This guy values your emotions, and even with his hormones raging, he knows well enough to ask you whether you want to try out that new sex position. Both of you do things keeping in mind the other person’s comfort and desire.
6. He texts you to tell you about the little things in life
Because you are important, he wants you to know all about him. He never misses the chance to let you know about his life choices or that girl next door who hits on him. Better jealous and loved, than ignorant and stupid.
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7. He compliments you over a lot of things
You are no doubt beautiful. But the guy who loves you sees you for something else. With all your stretch marks, unkempt hair and anxieties, he loves you and leaves no opportunity to shower you with compliments. Your wonderful voice or that little promotion gives him an extra amount of rush and he is proud of you.
8. He wants to spend quality time with you
Apart from the sex, nothing can be more beautiful if he plans a date or a weekend holiday with you. Maybe he even makes a plate of butter chicken for you! And over the long, cold nights you find comfort in his arms and Netflix.
Unless you’re both on the same page and in it just for the sex, being with someone who only and only wants to get into your pants become a toxic experience. Keep an eye out for these subtle hints, lest you fall for the wrong person.