Millennial dating is tough. One day he showers you with ‘you are my honey-bunny’ and the next day his aura becomes super mysterious. If you are anything like me, you probably find this whole ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ game too annoying to quit the dating scene altogether and move in with a bunch of cats instead. But if you are serious about having a serious relationship you need to look out for the definite signs to know whether he is ignoring you for somebody else before you go all in with him.
1. He cancels plans with you
As the popular belief goes, when a girl cancels the date she has a good reason, but when a guy does the same it means he is probably seeing someone on the side. It’s no full proof method to check his commitment towards you because sometimes things in life are not just black and white. But when he cancels dates with you last-minute and rarely has any good reason to do so, you should be cautious. Use your better judgment to know if he really has good enough reasons to cancel on you and consider it a red flag when he does this frequently.
2. He is not as responsive to calls and texts as before
If you find him harder to get hold of if you are constantly being pushed to his voice mail if he is taking longer to return your texts and calls within a reasonable amount of time it’s a tell-tale sign that he is ignoring you for someone else. But before jumping to conclusions ask him what’s going on and pay close attention to his answers too.
3. He is not interested in sex
Whether it’s about the sex, foreplay, kissing, cuddling and PDAs if you are used to a certain pattern of his moves and frequency of physical intimacy and suddenly find it decreasing significantly then you should be worried. Talk to him about this to straighten things out – it could be due to medical reasons or if it’s not, then something is definitely not right.
4. He asks you to ‘stop acting paranoid’
If he tried to manipulate you by ruling out your concerns as paranoia and makes you feel even more insecure about the relationship, then don’t close your eyes. It IS a red-flag indeed. A good partner who is as invested in the relationship as you are would try to talk things out to clear out your concerns and he would certainly not blame you for having doubts. A sensible boyfriend listens to you, addresses the issue and tries to reach a mutual understanding. If he is not doing any of these, he is probably not interested to work things out with you as he has his mind in some other place.
5. You are no longer his priority
If he shows concern for you one day and next day acts aloof, if you no longer know where you stand with him, if he suddenly feels the need to have more space in the relationship, if he gets defensive whenever you ask him about his whereabouts and keeps you away from his friends, know for sure something isn’t right and he is hiding something. When the boyfriend stops making you the priority and the relationship feels frustrating, he is either hiding an alien in his garage or hooking up with another girl. And statistics say it’s almost always the second one!
If you are worried about how the relationship is going and your boyfriend no longer cares about you like he used to then remind yourself that you deserve more. Yes, walking away hurts, but investing your time and energy on someone who is not worthy of you is even worse.