When it comes to marriage, in a very true sense, time is limited. Some words of wisdom from a deteriorating 90 year old man who wished he had more time to spend with his 86 year old ‘young’ beloved wife. He tells us what he realised in his long time with his wife and shares his marriage tips.
7 marriage tips from a 90-year-old man
It is said realisations happen when you are down and out. This gentleman realises a few things while lying in his hospital bed.
1. Say ‘I love you’ to your spouse
“Saying ‘I love you’ to your spouse can never be enough”, says Bappa, this wonderful wise old man. He tells me that he started saying ‘I love you’ to his wife after 50. He wishes he had said it right from the day he married her. She has been with him through thick and thin and keeps him rooted to his home.
2. Make time for one another
After having worked hard for more than 38 years, he realises that he should have also made time for his wife when they were both working. He says that after so many years he realises that he should have grabbed every opportunity to spend time with her. The morning tea time, the TV watching in the evening or the grocery shopping could have all been done together. His advice to married couples is to make sure they make time for each other.
3. Take vacations together
“While married couples do make time for each other in their daily routines, couples need to take long vacations every now and then and explore different places,” he says. “It is not necessary to have an expensive one, but even if you can spend time on a farm exploring the local cuisine and culture together, the novelty in the marriage stays intact.”
4. Look after each other in sickness and pain
“Whenever the partner is unwell, take good care of them. No one is always going to be healthy. If your spouse is sick with flu, please take an off from work to be with them. That’s when they need you the most when they are physically ill,” he says.
5. Don’t worry about what others think
At his age, he suggests that married couples should not let any third person take over their relationship. There is no need to think about what others think of you, because their opinion doesn’t matter.
The society and the extended families that have opinions about everything are the ones who’ll make your married life terrible.
Think about ‘us’, i.e. your spouse and you and do whatever makes your relationship grow stronger and makes it more fun. It is only your life partner that will be around for the longest period of time. Others will come and go because their interest in your life is temporary.
6. Arrange in advance for your spouse’s financial independence
“I have made a will and made sure that my wife is a nominee everywhere,” he says. “My will has an external executor and I’m making sure that after me, my wife will still be looked after.” Whether it is a man or a woman, both need to have their wills ready and must keep updating it every other year as their investments and financials change and as they start growing older. As a wise man, he has made sure that the home, his savings, his pension, all investments, etc. automatically go to his wife through his notarized death will.
7. It is never too late to say sorry
An apology at the right time heals. When you realise your mistake, please have the courage to go to your spouse and apologise for your blunders.
Life has its ups and down but if you folllow some simple marriage tips then you can keep the love and intimacy intact in your marriage.